Ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kwenzeka ngisho nalabo abajwayele ukwenza izinqumo ngokwabo. Cabanga into eyodwa, kodwa kuvela kakhulu. Isibonelo, imibuthano enokuthula nabangani ngokuzumayo iphenduke idansa kuze ngiwe esigumbini sebusuku eDeveli ku-ikhekhe (noma ngabe uthembisa ukulala phansi kungakapheli neshumi nanye). Sekuyisikhathi sokucabanga ukuthi ucindezelekile futhi usithuthele kulesi sikhungo. Kodwa ngokuqinisekile konke kwakunqunywa ngokuthula. Ngomunye umuntu ovela enkampanini yakho ophethe kahle isipho sokukholisa. Futhi wena, kanye nabo bonke abanye, waba yisisulu salowo muntu wesabekayo.
Icala lakho aliyona eyedwa. Uma umuntu ekholelwa, omunye uhlangabezana nezinhlobo ezahlukene zokukholisa izikhathi eziyinkulungwane ngosuku. "Ngezinye izikhathi sihlangana nabaphathi abangakwazi ukukhanyisa noma ubani onemiqondo yabo," kusho uChris Hilary, umbhali we "Izinketho ezingu-27 zokuPhuthukisa: Amasu Alula Ukuze Anqobe Abalaleli Futhi Athole Izibambisene." "Kubonakala sengathi banomthelela omkhulu wemilingo." Manje yisikhathi sokuthola imfihlo yalo lonke lo mlingo bese usuka kumuntu oholele kumuntu okholisa.
Nqoba Ukwesaba
Noma kunjalo, akucaci ukuthi kungani, isibonelo, umlingani wakho ubamba ibhajethi yezinhlelo ezingamanga kakhulu, kuyilapho abanye bevame ukwenqatshwa ngumphathi. Mhlawumbe uthumela into ethile kumphathi?
Ungowesifazane ngaphandle kokwesaba nokuhlambalaza. Kuhlala nje ukuqonda ukuthi yini isizathu salokhu kwamandla engqondo. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ama-psychopath ahlukunyezwa komsebenzi we-cerebellar amygdala (ingxenye yobuchopho obhekene ne-zememtsii). Nakuba ukuhlupheka - kusho ngezwi elikhulu. Isici sinciphisa umuzwa wokwesaba.
Uma wesaba ukubuza umpheki ukuba uphakamise okwakulokhu ushiya izinyanga eziyisithupha, kuqala uqiniseke ukuthi ufanelwe umvuzo. Cabanga ngakho konke ozokusho. Ukuphumelela kwebhizinisi kuxhomeke ekutheni umuntu uziphatha kanjani ngokuqiniseka. Ukwenza amagama akho avele anesisindo, phambi kokuthinta inkulumo.
Qaphela ubuthakathaka bakho
Akukona ngothando lwakho ngesibindi, kodwa mayelana nezinto ezibaluleke ngempela - mayelana nalabo okuvimbela abantu ukuthi bakwazi ukukubona ngokwanele. Vumelana, kuyinto eyodwa ukufihla amaphutha noma ungabathinti ukubaluleka kubo, futhi okunye ukubenza babe izihlonipho. Uma wazi amaphuzu akho obuthakathaka, khona-ke ungakwazi ukulawula ukuthi abanye bawaqonda kanjani. Kudingekile kuphela ukunikeza amaminithi ngokukhanya okuhle.
Ake sithi unenkani futhi unomusa, kunokuba ulethe ozakwabo nabasebenzi bakho ukushisa okumhlophe. Zama ngandlela-thile ukuze ushintshe ukuqala ukusebenza okusha ngaphambi kwethimba, hhayi nge-hysteria, kodwa ngombhalo olandelayo: "Mhlawumbe nginokuzikhandla ngokweqile ukusekela imibono yami futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngiyakwazi ukunciphisa kancane induku. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, uzongitshela, kulungile?" Umzuzu owodwa odlule ucabanga ukuthi unesithuthwane, usheshe ungena emgodini we-corpuscle.
Bheka ngokucophelela
Ngokusho kwamahemuhemu, imilenze emihle kanye nomugqa omuhle we-decolleté ngabasizi abahle kakhulu ekufezeni umgomo, kodwa manje akukhona ngabo. Ukuxhumana kwamehlo kuyindlela ephumelelayo yokwakha ubudlelwane obukhiqizayo (ngisho noma uthi unecala). Ochwepheshe bayaqiniseka: ezimweni eziningi, ukuthembela kuye kungenxa yakhe. Ukuze ungene ku-touch, zama ukumelana nesimo se-interlocutor ngemizuzwana embalwa. Kodwa akekho, uma kungenjalo angakwazi ukukhukhumeza futhi akuthathe umenzi we-maniac noma isisebenzi esisebenza nabo se-ejensi yokuphoqelela umthetho.
Ulimi lomzimba lubonisa isimo sengqondo sabantu. Funda, futhi ungenza ngokuqinisekile. Isibonelo: isisebenzi sebhange onikezwe ukunikeza isikweletu esingekho inzalo ukuthenga i- "Ferrari" oyidingayo, uhlehlise esihlalweni sakho bese uwela izingalo zakho. isibonakaliso sokuthi uyesaba. Zama ukukhipha isimo, ukuletha ukumomotheka.
Shayela engqondweni yomphakathi
Umqondo ojwayelekile othi "thina" kubalulekile uma udinga ukukhuthaza umuntu ukuba enze ngendlela yakho.Khetha ukuthi uthanda i-movie efanayo (umlingisi, umlingisi) noma incwadi njengomngane wakho.Ukuze izingxoxo ziphumelele, zama ukungahambisani ngokuqondile, kodwa "ku" nangokuthi "." Enye iqhinga elisebenzayo "ukufaka isibonisi" ukuhlelwa kwe-interlocutor. Izifundo ezenziwa eDuke University (USA) zatjengisa ukuthi othisha banamathela kakhulu kubafundi abahamba kancane ngokukopisha ukunyakaza nokuma komzimba. Izenzo ezinjalo ziphoqa abantu ukuba bazizwe ngendlela efanayo, ngesisekelo sokwethenjelwa. Ingabe ucabanga ngempela ukuthi owesifazane oqinile ovela emnyangweni we-visa uzokwenqaba insizwa encane, enhle kumabhunu afanayo njengabo?
Thola igunya
Abantu bathambekele ekuthembeni iziphathimandla. Noma kunjalo, akuwona wonke umuntu ukuzama indima yomholi. Sebenzisa ukuhlolwa kwamalungu wesithathu ukuze ucindezele abantu ukuthatha isinqumo osidingayo. Uma wena ne-manoyanik yakho ethandekayo engakwazi ukunquma ngokukhetha indawo yokudlela, tshela into enjengokuthi: "Umngane wami, indlela, umkhandi, uvakashele lesi sikhungo futhi angafunga ukuthi ama-crabs avela ngaphandle avela eKamchatka, hhayi esendaweni yaseMoscow." Lesi sithombe sikhombisa , ukuthi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, unolwazi olungcwele lwezidlo zezidlo zasendaweni (futhi lokhu ngokwakho kuyinto yesicelo sobuholi), ngakolunye uhlangothi, uhlala emkhunjini ofanayo nomngane wakho. "Uma ukudla kwesifo sofuba kwenzeka, umthwalo ongeke ube phezu kwakho, kodwa kumngane wenganekwane - umpheki.
Kukhona abantu abangenza noma ubani adlale kubasizi bezinwele. Kancane kancane badlula amaphuzu akho azwelayo, okwenza imizwa yecala, isihawu, noma ize. Ngaphansi kokuzethemba kwakho futhi ngokubi nakakhulu uyazi ukuthi imingcele yakho iyini, uma uyaziswa kabanzi. Usuqalwa uma ukhona:
- "Njengomqashi othandekayo (umama omuhle), ubophekile ..." Ukudluliselwa kumagugu angunaphakade kungabamba noma ubani, ngoba ukuzama ukuphelela, njengokulawula, okungalawuleki. Ungabi isithombe esinqunyiwe. Ekugcineni, umphathi ozwelayo nomama omuhle kufanele bakwazi ukuvikela izithakazelo zabo.
- "Ungenza ngikhungatheke kakhulu ..." Kuyindlela enhle yokukuthuma esikhundleni somntwana wethu. Umqondo wecala unesifiso sokuphuma ngendlela engasizi ngalutho yezinhlawulo. Khumbula ukuthi awudakiwe iminyaka eminingi. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuvumelana nomxhumanisi ovela endaweni "yabantu abadala" abadala.
- "O, ngifuna ukwabelana nawe into eyodwa efihliwe ..." Ngokushesha uzithola ukuthi owesifazane ongajwayelekile uyazwakalisa imininingwane yokuzalwa kwakhe. Ukusondelana okunjalo kusongela ukungabi nasizo okuphelele: kunzima kumuntu onjalo wengqondo ukulahla. Ngakho vimbela imingcele yakho.
- Ungubani wena, hhayi nathi? " Futhi kulesi sikhalazo kubonisa konke ukudumazeka kwabahlobo abakhulu, ocabanga ukuthi manje ukukhwabanisa okushiwo. Umqondo wokuba yimuphi umphakathi ubaluleke kakhulu kumuntu.
- "Nguwe kuphela ongangisindisa ..." I-glance ejabulisayo futhi uzizwa njengomkhonto ngehhashi elimhlophe. I-checker ifakiwe. Umzwelo wokuziqhenya unambithekile ngokugcwele, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi uyaqaphela ukuthi amahhashi asebenza futhi agijima, futhi izindlu zivutha futhi zivutha. Misa: ukukhululwa kwabantu abagoba ngumsebenzi wokugwinya.