Isikhathi esiningi isimo sezinguquko siqala - "amakilasi aphezulu akakwazi, amakilasi aphansi afuni ukuhlala ngendlela endala." Abaningi bangaphikisana: emndenini ngamunye - izinkinga zabo siqu, eziyingqayizivele nengane ekhulayo, awukwazi ukufana okufanayo - yebo ngaphansi kokushayela okufanayo! Yebo, kunjalo. Kodwa uhlelo lukhona, ukuziphatha kwentsha njalo kunezimpande ezivamile futhi kungenzeka futhi ukuba usebenze kuzo ngokuhlelekile. Iseluleko esiningi esihlakaniphile kanye nezimpikiswano ezigculisayo zochwepheshe ngokuqinisekile kuzokusiza ukwakha ubudlelwane obukhiqizayo obuningi nomntwana osemusha, futhi uyakwazi ukubhekana kangcono nemisebenzi engahle ivele phambi komuntu ngale nkathi enzima yokuphila.
Imfundo yezingane, okokuqala, i-self-education of parents. Ukubeletha kugcizelela ikhono lokulalela, okungenakwenzeka ngaphandle kokulingana kwangempela nokuvikelwa kwamalungelo abantu, kubandakanya nabazali. Ukuze uzame ukufeza ikhono lokuxhumana nengane yakho ngale ndlela, kubalulekile ukuhlala uzolile kunoma yisiphi isimo. Izimo ezicindezelayo zidala ukungezwani kwemisipha. Ngakho-ke, sidinga ukuthuthukisa indlela yokuphumula kwabo - kuphela-ke singakwazi ukusabela ngokwanele kulokho okwenzekayo.
Lapha ungasebenzisa izivivinyo ezintathu ezilula.
1. Kudingekile ukuba uhlale phansi esihlalweni sezingubo kanye nemizuzwana eyishumi ukuze uqede yonke imisipha. Bese uphumule, "uhlambuluke," uzizwe "ukuvuza" kokungezwani phakathi komzimba kuya emlenzeni, kuminwe, ezipikili.
2. Ake ucabange kakhulu phakathi kwakho ukuthi uyincani encane kakhulu, ezolile futhi ejabule. Ungakwazi ukudweba umbono ozobukeka, khona-ke kuyoba ulimi lwelangabi, noma inundu, noma iphupho lamazolo ... Cabanga ukuthi le nucleolus ingumuntu wakho wangaphakathi, isisekelo sakho. Ngezinsuku zamasonto, kuvame ukukhumbula lokhu okuyimfihlakalo, ukuthula okungaphakathi ngaphakathi kwakho.
3. Gcina kancane kancane lo mzwelo wokuphumuza nokuthokoza emhlabeni ozungezile - kulokhu okwenzeka izinkinga zakho zibonakala zihlehliswa ... Futhi manje vumela bashintshe isikali, ngoba ufaka kumongo wabo omakhelwane, indlu, idolobha lakho, bonke abahlala kulo, izwe, izwe, iGalaxy ... Futhi kusukela kulokhu kukhululeka, buyela ngokwakho. Futhi uqhathanise ukubaluleka.
Futhi manje sicabanga ngamaqiniso anjalo acacile:
Iningi lezinsizwa "ezinzima" ekugcineni liba ngabantu abavamile, abaphumelelayo nabangane beqiniso kubazali babo.
Wena nezinkinga zakho akuzona zodwa, abazali abanjalo ulwandle.
Izingane zinamandla amakhulu, anquma kakhulu kunabazali, ukuthi bazoba yini.
Unamandla amaningi futhi ikhono lokuthonya ingane yakho kunakho okukholelwayo.
Futhi okokugcina, unamalungelo afanayo nezidingo zenjabulo njengengane yakho.
Manje ake sizame ukuguqula izifiso zethu zohlobo oluthile ...
"Angifuni ingane yami ..." (cabanga ukuthi ufika ekhaya sekwephuzile).
"Kufanele ..." (hlambulula izinto zakhe).
"Akanayo ilungelo ..." (ngaphandle kokufuna ukuthatha izinto zami).
... ngezinjongo ezikude kakhulu:
"Ngifuna ingane yami ..." (ayizange ingene enkingeni, yayinobuhle, inokwethenjelwa).
Futhi okunye:
"Ngifuna ingane yami ..." (yakhulisa ukwethembeka, enempilo, enomusa). Futhi ekugcineni:
"Ngifuna ingane yami ibe umuntu ohloniphekile, onomthwalo wemfanelo, okwazi ukwenza izinqumo ezifanele ngaye."
Le nqubo izokwenziwa ngokuphumelela kangcono uma okwesikhashana ukukhohlwa ngemigomo yangasese kanye namandla aqondile okufezekisa ngaphezulu komhlaba wonke.
Ukuthuthukiswa kokuzimela kwabaselula
Futhi sekuyisikhathi sokuqala umsebenzi ekudluliseni umthwalo wemfanelo kwengane empilweni yakhe.
ISINYATHELO ESINYE
Bhala phansi encwadini yonke amaphuzu ongawuthandi enganeni yakho. Isibonelo:
- amaqabunga ngemuva kwesidlo esingcolile;
- uphendukela phezulu ngomculo;
- akanandaba nezimbali egumbini lakhe;
- Late ebusuku ehlezi kukhompyutha;
- Yidla ukudla okungathandeki, njll. nokunye okunjalo.
ISINYATHELO SESIBILI
Hlukanisa zonke izimangalo zakho ezinganeni zibe ngamaqembu amabili
1. Ukuphila kwengane kuphela.
2. Thinta ubumfihlo bakho. Iqembu lesibili lizoshiywa yedwa isikhathi, sizoqala kuqala.
ISINYATHELO SESITHATHU
Funda imithetho emithathu ebalulekile:
1. Kufanele unikeze yonke imithwalo yemfanelo ngalezo zinto ekuziphatheni kwengane engathinti impilo yakho.
2. Kudingeka sihlakulele ukuqiniseka ukuthi ingane ingenza izinqumo ezifanele kuzo zonke lezi zimo.
3. Menze aqonde futhi azizwe lokhu ukuzethemba kwakho.
Mhlawumbe, lapha ukungalungi kwakho, ukuthukuthela, ukungavumelani kungenzeka. Ungagxumi eziphethweni! Funda kuze kube sekupheleni, bese unquma, ulandele noma ungahambisani neseluleko ngemfundo yabantwana abasencane emndenini.
Akuyona nje intsha, kodwa futhi nabazali ngokwabo ngokuvamile bayanaki imiphumela yemikhawulo yezenzo nezinqumo zabo. Isinyathelo sesithathu kuhloswe nje ukufunda ukubona nokucabangela yonke imiphumela yezinqumo ezithathwe.
Ukufunda ukuthembela kwengane, abazali abazuzi nje kuphela inzuzo yesikhashana-ukuhlala ngaphandle kwempi emkhayeni, kodwa futhi nomphumela wesikhathi eside: ingane izofunda ngokucacile ukubona nokucabangela imiphumela engasese yezenzo nezinqumo zakhe.
Indlela yokufeza ukulalela okuvela kumuntu osemusha?
Okokuqala, khetha into eyodwa ebalulekile, umthwalo ohlose ukudlulisela kumntanakho. Zizwe isimo sakho, ucabange ukuthi umthwalo wemithwalo wemfanelo ususwe kanjani emahlombe akho. Vusa isithakazelo ukuthi intsha izoxazulula ngempumelelo kanjani inkinga yakhe. Cabanga ukuthi yiliphi amagama ozolikhuluma ngesikhathi sokudluliselwa komthwalo wemfanelo.
Isibonelo, "Ngangikhathazekile futhi ngithukuthele mayelana ... futhi ngazama kaningi ... Usuvele ukhulile ukwenza izinqumo ezifanele ngokuphathelene ... Kusukela manje, angiyikuphazamisa lolu daba futhi ngithembele kuwe: noma yini oyithandayo, kuyoba kuhle kuwe, ngizoqhubeka nginesithakazelo futhi ngisize nganoma iyiphi indlela, uma ngabe ubuza ngakho, kodwa ngokujwayelekile ibhizinisi lakho kuphela. "
Ngokuvamile, zama ukwakha isitatimende sakho ngesimo se-I-izitatimende, ngokufushane futhi ngaphandle kwemibangela eyenza le ntsha ukuthi ikubandakanye engxoxweni. Ngaphambi kokuthi ukhulume isitatimende sakho kumfana osemusha, sivuselele izikhathi eziningana ukuze wenze umsindo uzwakala futhi ukhululekile. Khona-ke zingakapheli izinsuku ezimbalwa futhi mnike yena namanye "amandla". Ngesikhathi esifanayo, gxila hhayi ekuphenduleni kwakhe, kodwa kuphela ngenhloso yakho yokuxazulula le nkinga ngokukodwa.
Amathiphu ambalwa asebenzayo
Ngesinye isikhathi qaphela ukuthi omakhelwane nabangani babheka kanjani ingane yakho (abangabantwana babo) - abazizwa benomthwalo wemfanelo ngezinqumo zabo futhi bayajabula ngokujulile ngakho, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nangokweqile futhi babone okuthile okusha kumntwana wakho okhulayo.
Zama ukuhlangana nengane ngaso sonke isikhathi ngomcabango ongazi ukuthi kufanele yini noma akufanele ukwenze, kodwa ngomqondo wamahhala futhi ongathathi hlangothi wesifiso nesimangalo.
Vumela ukuba ujabule ngokuzikhohlisa nokungaqiniseki kwengane, ngisho nalapho kubangela ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka kuwe. Zama ukubona ukuthi ezenzweni nasezinqumweni zakhe ukukhumbuza ngobuntwana bakho nentsha, okukuvumela manje ukuba uthi: "Ngiyaqonda ukuthi kungani enza ngale ndlela."
Ngomuntu ozimela ngokuzimela, bobabili imiphumela emihle neyingozi. Abanye babo bazibonakalisa ngokushesha, abanye - kamuva. Ukunakekelwa kwemiphumela yesikhathi eside kuyisibonakaliso sokuvuthwa. Futhi intsha ijwayele ukugxila emiphumeleni ngokushesha yezinqumo zabo. Lokhu kungumthombo wempi eminingi emndenini. Uma wesaba lokhu, qala ukunikeza ingane umthwalo wemfanelo kulokho okungenani okuphazanyisa ukuthula kwakho.
Izimbangela zangempela zokuziphatha "okunzima" kwabasha
Iningi lentsha lithi inqunto yabo eyinhloko iyinkululeko yokulawula izimpilo zabo. Kodwa kaningi kakhulu ukusabela kwabo kokuqala ekunikezweni inkululeko kuyethusa. Futhi, ngaphandle kokuqaphela, benza konke ukuphoqa abazali babo ukuba babuyele ekulawuleni kwabo kwangaphambili.
Lokhu akuyona nje inkinga yengane. Kulowo nalowo kithi uhlala "ngonyama yekhampasi", ehlanjululwe emgodini, kepha, uma nje ikhishwa, ibuyele emuva. Thina ngokwethu sesiye sabhekana nezikhathi eziningi lapho kudingeka sikhethe ukukhetha isinqumo esinesibindi. Empeleni, ukuthuthukiswa komuntu ukuthi uyakwazi kakhulu lokhu.
Ingane endaweni ethile eminyakeni eyi-11-12 iye yazuza okuningi. Kodwa wakufundela kubantu abadala. Hamba uqale, udle nge-spoon, ugqoke ... Khona-ke ingane ifunda ukuthi umuntu uhlukile kwabanye, hhayi ikhophi yomuntu. Kule minyaka kubalulekile ukuba aqonde ukuthi izisusa zakhe nezenzo aziveli ngaphandle, kodwa ngaphakathi. Ngakho-ke, kufanele enze izinqumo ezihlukile ezakho, ukuze uqonde: "Ngiyakwazi ukukhiqiza imibono yami!"
Lesi sidingo sikhiwa phakathi kweminyaka engu-11 no-16, futhi uma ingane ngalesi sikhathi ihamba "yonkana" abazali kuzo zonke izinyathelo, lokhu kuyinto evamile. Kodwa kholwa kimi, izisusa zangaphakathi zokuthi "hamba indlela yakho" yengane zibuhlungu ngempela! Futhi, njengaleyo ngonyama, ngokungazi lutho ufuna "ukubuyela emgodini," okungukuthi, ukuphoqa othile ukuba azenzele izinqumo.
Ngakho ngokuphindaphindiwe uyakunikela, ukuze uhlale eceleni kwakhe kunendima yomlawuli. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, uhlakulela umkhuba omubi wokukhathalela okungalungile. Ukuthatha esinye isinqumo kuye, kubonakala sengathi uthi: "Ngikuxwayisile! Yilokho ukungalaleli kuholela! Kumelwe ulalele abadala!".
Intsha ihlale izwa sengathi ingahlukumeza abazali, futhi bayayisebenzisa ngobuchule. Izindlela zokuwaxhaphaza ziningi:
- abazali abalahla ngokungabakhathaleli,
- Buza umbuzo mayelana nokukhulelwa, okungabonakali,
- Tshela othisha, abangane mayelana nabazali abanobudlova, abaqinile, abangenandaba (i-real chic phakathi kwentsha),
- uzethule njengomuntu ophuthumayo, oyisiphukuphuku, onobunzima, owenzela izinkohlakalo, ekugcineni okukushukumisela ukuthi uthathe indima yombusi.
Konke lokhu kwentsha akuyona into ehlekisayo futhi engamnandi - bavele bakucindezele ukuthi ubanikeze ukunakekelwa okungalungile futhi uzilondoloze esidingeni sezinqumo ezizimele, ezizimele. Kungatjho ukuthi ukunakwa okungakalungi kungumuthi wezidakamizwa kumntanakho, begodu nababelethi bangabanikezeli abakhulu bawo. Konke ngokuvumelana nesimiso esifanayo: ngokuqhubekayo, nakakhulu, okubi kakhulu (ngaphandle kokuzimela).
Eqinisweni, lo mfana udinga omunye: ukusiza, ukukhuthaza, ukukhuthaza ukhetho lomzila wokuziphatha ukwenza izinqumo ezizimele. Ngakho-ke, cishe, emzamweni wakho wokuqala ukudlulisela kuye umthwalo wezenzo zakho ingane izophendula ngombhikisho ofihliwe, ongazi lutho.
Kulesi simo - amathiphu ambalwa
1. Ngempendulo yakho engalungile yokuqala - ukukhanya kwentukuthelo, ukucasula - yeka! Ungenzi lutho ngaphandle kokucabanga kahle. Gwema ukunakekelwa okungalungile kwengane.
2. Qaphela ukuthi ngokuziphatha kwakhe akenzi lutho kuwe ngokuqondene nanoma yini embi (inkulumo ngezenzo, izenzakalo ezivela empilweni yengane). Cabanga ngesimo esikhathini eside. Ukuze wenze lokhu, ungacabanga ukuthi ingane - hhayi eyakho, kodwa, sengathi, umakhelwane noma isihlobo esiseduze. Ingabe umuzwa wokuthukuthela udlula?
3. Thembela ingane! Kukhona into okudinga ukukhululeka ekulawuleni. Siza ukuthi ivuke, win.
Ungase uzizwe unesifiso esinzima sokusebenza njengangaphambili - ukuzwa usizi, ububele, ukukhathazeka, ufuna ukumbuza imibuzo, unikele ngokuhlanganyela kwakho ... Yeka! Esikhundleni salokho, gcina ithoni enobungane nentombazane. Lokhu kuyinhloko yazo zonke izici zemfundo yabantwana abasencane emndenini. Njalo ubambe inkumbulo yakho: "Ngenza kahle, inkinga ayinami, kodwa nale nsizwa." Akenzanga lutho olubi kimi. "
Gxila ezindabeni zakho, zama ukuphazanyisa ezindabeni zezingane - kuze kube yilapho, mhlawumbe, isikole, amaphoyisa, njll, ukuzwakalisa. Khona-ke sidinga ukukhuluma ngokujulile nengane, kodwa kuphela ngesimo se-I-izitatimende. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu!
4. Qaphela ukungabi namandla kwakho, futhi ngesikhathi esisodwa, isifiso sokuthi ingane kufanele iyenze ("Angisakwazi ukulawula, zonke izinyathelo ozithathayo, kodwa ngifuna ukuba nomonakalo obuncane kwikusasa lakho ...").
5. Uma kufanelekile, ungakhumbuza ingane ngokuzimisela ukusiza, uma yena ngokwakhe ecela, futhi umcele ukuthi acacise ukuthi ungenzenjani. Futhi lo mkhawulo, mnike isinyathelo kuye.
6. Kubaluleke kakhulu! Khombisa ukukholelwa kwakho ukuthi ingane ingayamukela futhi isenze isinqumo esifanele ("Ngiyazi ukuthi uzokwenza konke okudingekayo ukuze ...".)