Ingabe kuyiqiniso ukuthi ubuntu bomuntu bubekwe eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila, futhi ngemva kwalokho sekuvele kunzima ukushintsha noma yini?
Ukwakheka komuntu kugcwaliswa iminyaka eyisikhombisa, emva kwalokho kukhona ushintsho - singanezela nje into ethile, okunye okufanele sikulungise. Kukholelwa ukuthi yonke iminyaka eyisikhombisa umuntu uya esigabeni sokuzalwa kwakhe: ngalesi sikhathi ukubunjwa kwegazi kushintsha ngokuphelele, isakhiwo somzimba siyavuselelwa. Eminyakeni ephindaphindiwe yesikhombisa, ngamunye wethu usezinselele. Ukwesaba kokucindezeleka kwesizwe kuyanda kakhulu: kukhona umuzwa wokungabi namandla, ukwesaba ubumnyama, ukuphakama, isizungu, isikhala esivaliwe. Kodwa esikhathini esibucayi abantu bazalwa kabusha, baya esiteshini esisha ekuthuthukiseni kwabo. Sishintsha, kodwa isisekelo asihlali singashintshi.
Ukuzihlonipha okuyisisekelo komuntu kuyini ?
Kusuka ekukhulelweni kuya eminyakeni emibili, izinga lomzimba lokuthuthukiswa libekwa. Kusukela ebuhlotsheni bomzali ababili kuya kwezingane kumntwana, ukucabanga kwakhe ngokwakhe nezwe kwakha, ikhono lokuthi cha. Kule minyaka, izingane zithatha ulwazi mayelana nazo, ezizokholelwa zonke izimpilo zabo. Ekuqaleni, umntwana uzalwa enezimpawu eziningi, kepha ngaphansi kwethonya lemishwana-ama-cliches ("intombazane ehlakaniphile", "umfana olalela") uqala ukubona abambalwa kuphela. Cabanga ngalesi sithombe: Umama ugxile phezu kwentombazane eneminyaka emibili ubudala, wamanga futhi uthi: "Yeka intombazane enhle!" Amantombazane ahle, afudumele, uzizwa emukelwa futhi evikelekile, futhi esikhathini esizayo uzokhokhela ukunakwa kwangaphandle. Ukungabaza ngokuhehayo kuyoba uphawu lwe-alamu, isongo ekubhujisweni kwezwe lalo. Kuyasiza kakhulu ezinganeni ukusekela, hhayi ukudumisa. Futhi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ungabhaleli, hhayi ukufaka izinhlelo nge "uzoba udokotela" noma "ushade nesikhulu." Ingane kufanele ikwazi ukuthi ihlukile: ngezinye izikhathi ithukuthele, ngezinye izikhathi ikhungathekile, ngezinye izikhathi ihlaziye, futhi inelungelo lokuzikhethela indlela yakhe. Khona-ke izingane zikhula ziphelele.
Ngakanani ingane engcono kunazo zonke ongayinika enkulisa?
Kunconywa ukuthi umama ahlale nengane esondelene naye kuze kube yiminyaka emibili. Eminyakeni emithathu ingane ibhekene nenkinga yokuhlukana kwengqondo kumama - lesi sikhathi kungcono ukulinda. Isikhathi esiphezulu sokuthumela enkulisa siyiminyaka emine. Kusukela eminyakeni emine kuya kweyisishiyagalolunye, umgudu wokusebenzisana nentuthuko wengane ukhiwa, usevele eqonda ukuthi kukhona ME futhi thina, unesithakazelo emidlalweni yokudlala, angakwazi ukugcina isikhathi eside. Kodwa kungcono ukuya esikoleni hhayi kweyisithupha, kodwa eminyakeni eyisikhombisa. Kungemva kweminyaka eyisikhombisa ukuthi izinga lezenhlalo lentuthuko libekwe. Khona-ke kuphela lapho abantwana beqala ukulalela imithetho, ukusizwa kuthuthukiswa (izingxenye zobuchopho obamba umuntu omncane ngesimo esisodwa kufakwe emsebenzini). Ngalesi sikhathi ingane kufanele imelwe ezindaweni ezintathu zomphakathi - isikole, isigaba esihlobene nokuthuthukiswa komzimba, nakwezinye izindawo, lapho angazizwa khona inkululeko ephelele.
Yini enquma uhlobo lendlalifa?
Ngokwengqondo, ngo-80% singabantu bomndeni womndeni, i-20% esele iyisinqumo sethu samahhala. Ngezinye izikhathi lezi zingu-20% ziba yimpumelelo. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali bungakwazi ukuguqula umgomo wengane kunoma iyiphi indlela. Njengomthetho, izingane zikopisha imodeli yokuziphatha kababa nomama, noma zikhethe ukuphikisa. Izingane ezilutha izidakamizwa ngokuvamile ziba izidakamizwa noma izidakamizwa. Kunoma imuphi umndeni, izinhlelo zabo zomndeni zisebenza: "ungabambeli ikhanda lakho", "kuyingozi ukuba ucebile," "isinyathelo siyajeziswa." Ukumemezela lezi zimiso, abantu abadala bazama ukudonsa ingane ekugcineni kwabo, ekuhlaleni kwabo. Kodwa lokhu akubulali: kusengenzeka ukushintsha. Akulungile ukushintsha zonke izinsolo zokuhluleka kwami kubazali bami: Nginguye ngoba ngakhulelwe ngumama nobaba. Siyafunda kanye nabazali, futhi uhlelo lomndeni ngaphandle kokuzibonela lusinika amandla. Naphezu kwe-slide yamalebula omzali kanye nezimo zengqondo zamanga, kufanele sibonge ngabo ngobunzima esasizobhekana nabo, siwaphule, saqina, sinamandla.
Indlela yokukhulisa ukuzimela kwengane futhi unganiki isinyathelo eziyinkimbinkimbi - ukukhuliswa nokuthuthukiswa kwengane esikhathini esizayo?
Ukwaneliseka akukwazi ukufundiswa, kungenziwa kuphela. Isithombe esivamile: inyane ligijima elizungezile ekamelweni, futhi kuthiwa: "ungawubambi", "wehla phansi", "uwubeke noma awuphule", ukunyakaza kwengane kusebenza kancane, inzalo yocwaningo ilahlekile futhi uhlala phansi phambi kwe-TV. Izingane ezihlala sonke isikhathi esikrinini se-holo yilabo abangaphephile ukuzibonisa. I-Hyperopeka - isevisi ye-bearish yengane, eyimvimbela ukuba aziveze emphakathini. Lapho befika esikoleni "i-aquarium" izingane ziphoqa, ziphule. Kunzima kakhulu kubo ukwakha umndeni wabo esikhathini esizayo. Umuntu omdala ongazange ahlukane nonina (izilungiselelo zisebenza: "ngaphandle kwami uzolahleka," "kungcono kunina kamama ngeke abe"), akunakwenzeka ukwakha ubudlelwano obuvumelana nomkakhe. Ngakho-ke, abazali kufanele banikeze ingane ilungelo lokukhula, ngokwengqondo ukuyiyeka. Futhi kudingeka wenze lokhu eneminyaka engu-7.
Yini engcono yengqondo yengane: lapho abazali behlala ndawonye hhayi ngenxa yothando, kodwa ngenxa yengane, noma isehlukaniso?
Ingane ayithokozi ukuzidela kwabazali ababehlala ndawonye ngenxa yakhe kuphela. Kungenzeka ukuthi emva kweminyaka lapho umama ethi: "Yebo, ngingowakho ..." - uzophendula: "Futhi kwakungadingeki kimi". Uma abazali bengathandani, ukuxabana nokungaqondani kuzovela njalo phakathi kwabo, kepha ukuthuthukiswa okuvumelanisiwe kwesimo esivamile sokukhulisa kuyadingeka. Kubonakala ezimpilweni zezingane kanye nabazali bomama kanye nabesifazane bokutholwa (futhi akudingeki babheke ingane yesibili kayise noma umama wesibili - bayohlala beyingqayizivele futhi beyingqayizivele). Ngokuvamile, ubudlelwane nabomama abathandekayo banomusa futhi bafudumele kunabobaba babo. Umama ongumama angaba umngane ongasiza futhi aqonde, futhi lokhu kungcono kunomzali ophuzile. Ukuphila ezinhlakeni nasezingane ezingathandeki kungabuyela emndenini wabo.
Iyiphi iminyaka engavumelekile kakhulu yesehlukaniso?
Ingane nganoma yisiphi isikhathi yobudala iyayibona le mcimbi. Kubantu abadala lokhu kuyinkinga. Ngomntwana - ukwephulwa kwemibandela yokuphepha. Isizathu sesehlukaniso siwukuthi izingane ezincane zivame ukuzicabangela ukuthi: "Ngazalwa, kodwa abazange bangifuni", "Ngidla kabi, futhi ubaba wasihlahlela." Uma uneminyaka engama-4 ubudala ungazichaza lesi simo: yebo, akusijabulisi, kodwa ingane iyayamukela, bese-ke isehlukaniso eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila yenza imfihlo ekuphileni, uhlobo lwenkinga. Kukhululekile kakhulu ukuthi indodana noma indodakazi ihlale kuphela nonina noma ngoyise kuphela, uma abazali bobabili bejabula futhi beqaphela kunalokho okuthiwa umndeni ogcwele ngokumelene nesizinda sokungavumelani komhlaba.
Yimiphi imithetho yokuziphatha yehlukaniso uma abazali kufanele baqaphele ukuze ingane iphile ngalesi sikhathi ngokulahlekelwa okuncane?
Into ebaluleke kunazo zonke izingane uma zizwa: kukhona okwenzekayo, kodwa abantu abadala bazenza sengathi bahamba kahle. Kubonakala sengathi ingane ilahlekelwa ukuthinta imizwa yakhe. Njalo ukwazi ukuchaza konke. Tshela ingane ukuthi yenziwe ngamaseli kapa nomama, futhi umzimba wakhe wonke uqukethe uthando lwabazali. Futhi nomaphi lapho abazali bekhona, lolu thando luhlala ezinganeni. Kunzima kakhulu kwengane uma ubaba nomama behlanganyela ebuhlotsheni obukhululekile, basho kabi ngomunye nomunye, futhi wonke umuntu uqala ukukudonsa. Izingane ezinjalo zihlale zizizwa zinecala ngaphambi komzali angahlali nabo. Kubalulekile ukuthi abashadile bahlanganyele ngendlela enokuthula futhi baqinisekise ukufinyelela okujwayelekile kumzali ingane engaphili.
Ingabe kuyiqiniso ukuthi uPapa ngentombazane ungumboniso wendoda yakhe ekahle?
Ngempela, indodakazi ithatha isibonelo somuntu esivela kumfanekiso kayise, nendlela yokuziphatha nobulili obuhlukile - kusuka kumama. Upapa udala indlela yokuzivikela yokuvikela ingane - kokubili amantombazane nabafana. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ubaba usiza indodakazi yakhe ukuba iqonde ubuhlobo bobulili obuhlukile. Ngokufanayo, umama angachaza ukucabangela kokuziphatha kwengane kwendodana yakhe. Ukusondelana nokufudumala kobudlelwane nopapa intombazane esikhathini esizayo kuyoxhomeka ekubeni khona / ukungabikho kwezinkimbinkimbi - ukukhuliswa nokuthuthukiswa kwengane. Uma umzali engazange amangaze indodakazi yakhe kakhulu, wayevame ukugqoka izandla zakhe futhi akajabuli ubuhle bakhe - uyoba nokunganeliseki okuningi nomzimba wakhe kanye naye.
Kulungile ukuthuthukiswa kwengane ekuqaleni?
Ukuthuthukisa ingane usencane kufanele kube mnandi kakhulu. Uma uthanda ukufunda, dweba, funda - ukuthuthukisa, uma kungenjalo - ungaphoqeleli. Ngokuvamile ukugqugquzela ukuthuthukiswa zakuqala akuyona neze ukukhathazeka yindlalifa, kodwa ukwesaba abadala kuba ngabazali ababi noma isifiso sokuqhayisa izihlobo nabangane bamakhono omntanakhe. Umphumela ohlangothini wokufunda okusebenzayo eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila ukungabi nesifiso sokufunda esikoleni. Ukuqala iminyaka engamatshumi ayisikhombisa ngumdlalo, kodwa uma ingane idlala ngaphambi kwesikole, ichithe isikhathi ekufundeni nasezikhundleni, angeke athathe izifundo. Kukhona ukugqama okunye okunye. Eqinisweni, eminyakeni engaba yimi-4 ubuchopho bufinyelela emaphesenti angama-80% kolwazi, kusukela eminyakeni emithathu ukuya emine yengane ongayifundisa izilimi ezine kuya kwezihlanu, kodwa uma ngemuva kwalokho engakhulumi nabo, lonke ulwazi luzokhohlwa ngokushesha. Lapho eneminyaka engu-7 ubudala, ingane izofunda ngokushesha lokho ayekufundiswa kusuka kulesine kuya kweyisikhombisa.
Ingabe kuyiqiniso ukuthi ingane eyodwa emndenini ikhula ngobugovu?
Ingane ingakhula ibe yindoda emndenini omkhulu. Indlalifa kuphela emndenini kubalulekile ukufundisa ukukhathalela abathandekayo, ikhono lokuxhumana nezinye izingane. Futhi kubalulekile ukuthi abazali bangabeki ukunakekelwa nokuphila kwabo kuphela. Kunalokho, izingane ezakhulela zodwa azijabuli. Ngokushesha abazali bayagula bese begugile, futhi ukunakekelwa kwabo kuwela emahlombe womntwana oyedwa. Uma kukhona umzalwane noma udadewethu, umthwalo usatshalaliswa kabili, kukhona usizo lomunye nomunye. Ukusekela okubalulekile nokwemzwelo, ukuqaphela ukuthi kunomuntu oyedwa ozalwa emhlabeni. Ngempela, lapho abazali befa, ingane ihlala yedwa.
Kungani kukhona izingane eziningi ezingasebenzi kakhulu maduzane ?
Izimbangela zokungabi nakakhulu azikakacaciswanga ngokugcwele. Manje lokhu kuyisifo esitholakalayo esifanelekayo, esingafakwa ngaso sonke isikhathi. I-syndrome yokuzibulala ingatholakala yizintathu ezintathu (i-neurologist, isazi sezifo zengqondo, isazi sezokwelapha) futhi nje emva kweminyaka engama-4, uma nje ingane iziphatha ngokungafani ezindaweni ezingokwemvelo (isibonelo, enkulisa, ekhaya, emgodini). Ngokuvamile ukungahloniphi kudidekile nokubonakaliswa kwesimo se-choleric. Kunzima ngempela kubazali bezingane ezinjalo. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ukuziphatha kwabo akuyona isici somlingiswa, kodwa ukubonakaliswa kwesimpawu. Namuhla, ukukhokhela ukulimala (ngaphezu kwezidakamizwa zakudala), ukudlala kwekhaya kusetshenziswa, ukudla okunempilo kakhulu (lezi zingane zizwela ekukhuleni amazinga e-glucose nokudla nge-chemistry yokudla). Ukungabi nokuzizwa ngempela kuyatholakala, kepha hhayi umusho. Ngesineke, ukukhathalela, indlela ehambisanayo yabazali, othisha, odokotela, lezi zingane zingaqaphela.
Yiziphi izici ezihlukanisayo zezingane zanamuhla?
Izingane zanamuhla azihambisani nokuhlelwa kwengqondo kwengqondo nokudala, okwenziwe eminyakeni edlule. Yingakho ekufundiseni izingane kanye nengqondo yengane yezinkambiso, hhayi zezinkambiso, kodwa okwenziwe ngentuthuko manje isethuliwe: ukukhula, isisindo, inkulumo. Ngakho-ke, inkulumo kubantu abaphila isikhathi eside iqala iminyaka emine, futhi lokhu sekucatshangwa ukuthi kuyinto evamile. Izingane zangekhulu lama-XXI zihlukaniswa nobugovu obuphephile, ukuzihlonipha kanye nomqondo onokuzimela. Ukuzibonga nokuzidela, okuhlakulelwe emashumini eminyaka adlule, kakade akusizi ngalutho. Namuhla, izingane zi-hypersensitive: lokho esizizwayo kwandezwa yizinhlanu ekuboneni kwabo. Isizukulwane, esithinta ngokuqinile kulokho okwenzekayo, sikhula noma sinolaka noma singakhathazeki. Imemori yokusebenza kanye ne-coefficient yokusebenza okusebenzayo kobuchopho bayo kuthuthukiswe kangcono kunabantu abadala. Ijubane lokuphila nokuphendula lidlula imigomo yasedlule. Izithombe zanamuhla eziye zaphuthumisa isigqi se tempo zibonakala zinamandla kakhulu kithi, abadala, kodwa hhayi kubo. Namuhla, izingane cishe azifundi futhi azidlali emidlalweni eqoqweni. Kuzo, ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ngasodwa phambi komqapha wekhompiyutha, ubuchopho buhlanganyela ngokubambisana nozwela (ukuzwelana) sekuphuzile kufakwe emsebenzini. Ngeshwa, manje izingane azidlali nabazali bazo. Abokugcina abanaso isikhathi salokhu, futhi abazi ukuthi bangayenza kanjani. Kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izingane zamanje zihluke kanjani ezizukulwaneni zangaphambilini, nsuku zonke basadinga okungenani imizuzu engamashumi amathathu yokuxhumana nabazali babo (ngaphandle kwe-TV nomakhalekhukhwini) ukugcwala ukufudumala nokusekelwa okungokomoya.
Izingane zanamuhla zikhula kakhulu. Ukuthuthukiswa kokuqala kwendlela yokuphila ngokobulili kuyithinta kanjani ingane?
Ngempela, amantombazane ayaqala namuhla eneminyaka eyisishiyagalolunye (abafana ekuthuthukisweni ngokobulili cishe eminyakeni emibili ngemuva kwamantombazane). Kodwa ngokujwayelekile, abazali kufanele bazigxile kubo: bebaneminyaka engakanani abanesithakazelo kobulili obuhlukile - kule minyaka uzovuka futhi kubantwana. Ubuhlobo bobulili bokuqala cishe buyisimo esibuhlungu. Ukuhlangenwe nakho okuthandwayo (ukuhlangana, ukuhlukana, umthandi abe nomunye) kuyabuhlungu kumuntu omdala, nangomntwana - kabili. Ubuhlobo bobulili ekukhuleni buphazamisa ukuthuthukiswa kwamanye amazinga. Kuyaziwa, ngokwesibonelo, ukuthi abantu abasuka ezintandane zivame ukuba nesisindo esiphansi. Ukushaya indlwabu kaningi nokuqala ngokocansi kuvuselela uhlelo lwe-genitourinary futhi ngaleyo ndlela kuphuthukise ukuthuthukiswa kwezinye izindawo. Okokuqala, ukuthuthukiswa kwesistimu ye-osseous iyeka. Lokhu kungase kube ingxabano kubazali bomfana abafuna ukumvimbela ekusebenzelaneni ngokocansi okusebenzayo. Abazali kumele baxoxisane nezingane ngalesi sihloko, bachaze ukuthi ubulili kungcono ukuhlehlisa emuva kwesikhathi: kamuva, ngcono. Tshela ukuthi uthando olunamandla kunazo zonke luyisimo somzwelo. Kodwa uma ingane isenomngane noma intombi, abazali kufanele bakhulume nabo bobabili. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba umama wentombazane akhulume nomfana - ukuthi indodakazi idinga ukubonakala, ingacasuli futhi ivikelwe. Umthwalo womfana phambi kwabazali bentombazane uphakeme kakhulu kunangaphambi kwakhe. Akulimazi ukuthi ubaba watshela indodakazi yakhe ukuthi abafana bavame badinga amantombazane. Kubalulekile ukwazisa izingane ukuthi abantu abadala kuphela abangakwenza lokhu.
Amathoyizi-ama-monsters abamba amashalofu esitolo esinezingane abathinta kanjani ingane yengqondo ?
Akudingekile ukucabangela izinguquko ezimbi nezindlovu-izidakamizwa kuphela njengezinto eziyingozi. Emntwaneni ngamunye kukhona ukuhlala komuntu othile, okwesaba okuthile. Isibonelo, ubumnyama. Ukuthatha ezandleni ze-transformer enamandla noma wesicabucabu-wesilisa ongenesibindi, ingane ibonakala ingahlaselwa, ingathola ukufinyelela kwamandla emithombo ethile. Ngemuva kwakho konke, konke engikuphethe ezandleni zami kuyaphatheka, ingxenye yami. Ngamathoyizi anjalo, izingane zingabonisa imizwelo ecindezelekile. Lapho ingane ifuna ukuthi cha, kodwa ayikwazi, ikhetha ithoyizi elikhukhulayo, kanti yena ngokwakhe uhlala emhlophe futhi ehlanza.
Iziphi izinkimbinkimbi esikoleni esikhulayo?
Izingane zamamaki aphansi azikwazi ukuhlolwa. Futhi, ngenhlanhla, ezikoleni eziningi lokhu akukwenziwanga. Ingane ithola le nkinga, hhayi njengokunganaki uthisha nencwadi yakhe engcolile, kodwa njengengqondo yomuntu siqu. Ukuhlola yilebuli eboshelwe esikoleni esikoleni. Ukumemezela kwakhe: "Ngimbi, angithandi" - futhi lokhu kulungiselelwa kubumba ukungafani kokuziphatha "komfundi omubi", "olahlekile." Ngokuvamile, ukungena esikhungweni, isikole dvoechniki and troechniki siqala ukufunda kahle. Akukho ukuhlaziywa, lokhu kuyisimo esisha lapho ungazibonakalisa khona, kunesithakazelo ekufundeni. Kubalulekile ukuchazela ingane ukuthi uthisha unomuntu ofanayo nalowo wonke umuntu ophelile, unesimo esibi futhi angenza amaphutha. Kulesi simo, izingane ngeke zibone isimo sengqondo somfundisi ngokwazo, njengomthetho. Ngaphezu kwesikole, ingane kufanele ibe nenye indawo lapho ingabonisa khona. Futhi ukuzivikela kwengqondo kwenzelwa emndenini. Uma kuthandwa lapha, kungakhathaliseki ukuziphatha nokuhlolwa kwayo, kuzohlala kuphelele.
Indlela yokukhulisa ubuntu beqiniso?
Ubuntu abukwazi ukuvuswa, bungasiza ekuboniseni. Futhi umthetho wokuqala ukuhlonipha kwabazali ngobuntu bomuntu siqu. Uma ngithintana nami ngokwami, kuphela lapho ngingakwazi ukuxhumana nomunye umuntu. Uma ngiqaphela, ngizokwazi ukusiza ukubona omunye. Abantu bangempela bakhula emndenini onempilo, lapho abashadile abaxhomeke komunye nomunye ngokomzwelo nangokwezimali, lapho kukhona ukuqonda nothando. Uma umama ekhula, uyigunya lakhe, uma enesithakazelo ekuhloleni umhlaba nengane nokufunda kuye, lokhu kuyindawo efanelekayo yokuthuthukisa ubuntu obuqinile. Ngokuvamile, abantu abadala banabantwana okumele bafunde kusukela, isibonelo, ngokushesha, ikhono lokubamba umzuzu wamanje, ukwethembeka kwemizwa nemizwelo.