Mhlawumbe, sonke siyazi inkulumo ethi "kusukela othandweni ukuzonda isinyathelo esisodwa". Yiqiniso, akusiyo isayensi, kepha kuyisizwe esivela kuso, kodwa naphezu kwalokhu, cishe sonke sivumelana naye, noma ngisho sithinteka nesenzo sakhe kusuka ekuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lesi saga kufanele sichaze okungaphezu kokudideka, kodwa kuvela okuphambene nalokho: kuhamba kanjani? Kwenzeka kanjani-ke? Kungani ukushintsha okunjalo okulula okuvela okuphambene nemibono esemqoka? Ingabe lokhu akusikisela ukuthi ahluke kakhulu komunye nomunye? Ngamunye wethu udonsa iziphetho zethu ngothando nangenzondo. Kodwa ngokuwahlukanisa ngezigaba, singakwazi futhi ukuqonda kangcono isikhundla sethu futhi sinqume ukuthi lezi zimzwa zifana kangakanani, noma ngokuphambene ziyahlukahluka komunye nomunye.
Okokuqala, ake sibheke izigaba zothando. Isigaba sokuqala yiqiniso, uthando. Lesi sigaba ngokwayo singahlukana sibe ngamanye amaningana, anembile kakhulu futhi senze kancane kancane, kodwa lokhu akusona isidingo esikhulu. Kubalulekile ukwazi isici esivela kule sigaba, esaziwa cishe bonke abantu abaye bathandana, ngoba yilesi sigaba wonke umuntu abhekana nakho. Lena yinkathi yemicabango ephakeme, intshisekelo kanye nesithakazelo. Awucabangi ngisho nokushiyeka komlingani wakho, buka yonke into ngokusebenzisa izibuko ezinemibala evelele kanye nesigqoko se-maximalism ne-idealism. Lesi yisikhathi esithandana kakhulu nesithandekayo lapho umzimba wethu ukhiqiza ama-hormone enza inhliziyo yethu ishaye ngokushesha, kumamatheka kakhulu futhi ujabule. Lesi yisikhathi lapho umbhangqwana engazi ukuthi yiziphi izinkinga nempilo. Isiteji sifushane kodwa sibalulekile.
Isigaba sesibili yisikhathi nje lapho izingxabano, izinhlangothi ezimbi, impilo yansuku zonke ziqala ukuzibonakalisa ngokwazo. I-fragile kakhulu futhi inzima yazo zonke izigaba, ngoba manje lo mbhangqwana uhlangabezana nokuhlolwa kwangempela kothando. Ngakho-ke, obambisene nabo, hlola ukuthi bahlangane ngempela kuleli sigaba. Ngakho ukukhuluma, konke kubonakala lapho kufika ubuhlungu nokuphila, kodwa hhayi ukuthanda futhi kumnandi. Uma lo mbhangqwana uhlangene nakho futhi udlula ngalesi sigaba, okwesithathu kuza - ukuvumelana okugcwele kwemiphefumulo nomzwelo. Manje i-hormone iqala ukuthuthukisa, hhayi uthando nokufutheka, kodwa isisa nokuthandana. Lo mbhangqwana empeleni uzizwa njengomunye, usizana, usekela futhi uqonda. Kufika ukuvumelana nokuthi yini ngempela engabizwa ngokuthi uthando. Abantu bayaqaphela futhi bayathandana ngokuphelele, nayo yonke imikhuba kanye nezinselele, bafunde futhi bahlonane, bahlele ndawonye ikusasa futhi basebenzise isikhathi samanje. Babheka ngakwesinye isiqondiso, bese behamba ngokuphila, bebambe izandla, eduze komgomo wabo. Lesi yisigaba sokugcina sothando.
Uma ubonisa izigaba zenzondo, khona-ke kunezinhlobo ezimbili zezigaba - inzondo emva kothando, noma lowo oza ngokushesha ngemva kokumazi. Uma ubona izigaba ezijwayelekile, khona-ke owokuqala kuzoba nokucasuka noma ukuhamba phambili kokubi. Uzizwa uthukuthele uma ubona noma uzwa lo muntu, uyesaba lapho usebenzisana naye futhi konke lokhu akujabulisi kakhulu kuwe. Uyanciphisa ukuxhumana naye nayo yonke imizwelo emibi ngokuphathelene nalomuntu uqala ukuthuthukisa kuphela, futhi eqhubeka ekhungathekile, eqhubeka kakhulu ...
Isigaba sesibili yilokho ukupheka kufinyelela emkhawulweni, futhi empeleni uqala ukuzwa ukuthi uyamzonda lo muntu, futhi wena ngokwakho uyaqaphela lokhu. Kodwa nokho kufanele kuqaphele ukuthi izigaba zenzondo, ngokungafani nezinyathelo zothando, zihlobene kakhulu futhi zingalungile, ngoba inzondo yimizwa yomuntu ngamunye, futhi izinyathelo zayo ziyahlukahluka kokubili ezimbangela nakulohlobo lobuhlobo obandulela inzondo, kusukela umuntu ngokwakhe, izimo. Ungamzonda umuntu owake wakuthanda, kodwa wadumala kuye, wazizwa ehlukile, futhi waqala ukukucasula, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kwavela izingxabano ezinkulu. Futhi, inzondo ingafika ngokushesha kumuntu onecala phambi kwakho, noma okuthile okucasuliwe, kushintshile noma kukuhluleka. Inzondo ingafakwa kusukela ekuzalweni, isibonelo, uma kunabantu abanobudlova noma imindeni, ngakho-ke asikwazi njalo ukukhuluma ngenzondo njengemzwa efika ngezigaba.
Akubona bonke abantu abanamandla okuzwa uthando lweqiniso, njengenzondo, ukuhamba kuzo zonke izigaba zabo. Ukuze ukwazi uthando lomunye umuntu, kufanele uqale wazi ngokwakho, uzivuselele futhi uzame ukwazi omunye umuntu, ukuze ufunde uthando, njengobuciko. Sifunda leli khono kusukela ebuntwaneni, lapho samukela uthando lwabazali futhi sihlangana nomfana noma intombazane ebusheni. Uthando, ngokungafani nenzondo, luhle, futhi lubuciko obuphezulu kakhulu bokusebenzisana nomuntu. Ngokusho kwengqondo, ungakwazi ngisho nokwandisa izigaba zothando, unikezwe ukuthi sifunda ukukuqonda kanjani, sihlupheka futhi sijabulele impumelelo. Akuveli ekuboneni kokuqala, noma ngokuzumayo kusuka endaweni ethile kubonakala - kudinga isikhathi ukuhamba ngezigaba ezithile futhi, ngenxa yalokho, ukuzuza unomphela ekuphileni kwabantu ababili, ukuwanika injabulo, ukuthula, amandla nokusekela.