Kufanele indoda ivulele owesifazane imizwa yakhe

Ukutshela imizwa yakho kuyisinyathelo esibi futhi lesi sinyathelo siwumphumela wobudlelwane obuqotho phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane. Bathi abesifazane abathandani umzimba wonke, umphefumulo, kodwa nezindlebe. Kodwa, ngempela, kuhle ukuzwa amagama afudumele ekuqondeni kwakho. Amadoda athande futhi lapho etshelwa ukuthi yiyiphi emangalisayo, enhle kakhulu, yiziphi ezihlukile futhi eziqinile. Futhi kufanele yini indoda ivule imizwa yayo kowesifazane?

Ukubonakaliswa kwemizwa yisigaba esiphezulu sokubaluleka kobuhlobo. Lowo owawela futhi wakhula, wafinyelela ezingeni eliphakeme lokuqonda okufanayo. Konke kuhle ngokulinganisela, ikakhulukazi lapho imizwa ihlangana, ngakho-ke kuhle futhi kubalulekile ukukhombisa ukuthi ubuhlobo bwakhiwe kanjani ekuthembekeni, ngobuqotho nokuqonda okufanayo, kuyoba kuhle ukuthi bobabili owesilisa nowesifazane babe ndawonye. Ngokuvamile, abesifazane basheshe bebuhlobo. Babonisa ubuthakathaka babo kuqala. Bakhuluma ngalokho abazizwa ngendoda, baphupha ngamaphuzu ngekusasa, bakha ama-air locks ngamafu omnyama. Futhi amadoda amaningi ayaqaphela ezindabeni zemizwa yabo. Bayaqaphela futhi ekukhetheni kwamagama nangezenzo zabo. Ngokuvamile abazi ngisho nokuthi bayavuma nini nokuthi bangayithanda kanjani, abazi ukuthi bangavula yini owesifazane. Bavame ukuzibuza ukuthi owesilisa kufanele avule owesifazane imizwa yakhe?

Njengabesifazane, amadoda angabantu ngabanye, anamahlamvu ahlukene, acabanga, enza. Umuntu ngamunye uhlola ngokuhlukile isimo esithile, ngasinye sibonakala ngezindlela ezahlukene. Amadoda angahlukaniswa ngasese zibe yizinhlobo eziningana, izinhlobo, amakilasi, ungabiza noma yini, kodwa okuyisisekelo sokuhlukanisa ngamaqembu anjalo asishintshi. Ngakho-ke, yilezi: umfana omnene - noma yikuphi iphupho, i-Casanova nomthandi okwazi ukuzethemba, ozizethembayo, umlindi, indoda enhle. Ngamunye wabo uziphatha ngendlela ehlukile. Ngamunye wabo uzizwa futhi uyakwazisa lo mbuzo olula, uma indoda ivulela owesifazane imizwa yakhe?

Ake siqale, mhlawumbe, nomuntu ozethembayo. Lona uhlobo lomuntu ohlale ekwazi ukuthi yini ayifunayo nokuthi angayithola kanjani, akanandaba nezithiyo ezima phambi kwakhe. Amadoda anjalo akhetha ngokukhetha abakhethiweyo babo, ngoba azi ukuthi yiziphi izimfanelo okufanele babe nazo. Uma kungazelelwe owesifazane amthande, ke ngokuqinisekile uyazi ngakho, amadoda anjalo ngeke akwenze ulinde ukunyakaza okusebenzayo kuye. Lolu hlobo lwamadoda ngeke lucele ukuthi uthole iseluleko, uzokwenza. Uma ezwa okuthile, uzokutshela ngemizwa yakhe, uzoyivula. Futhi lokhu kuyimpumelelo, ngoba onjalo, akulona ukwesaba ukuba nxazonke, uyazi ukuthi uyazethemba yena kanye nekusasa lakhe, kuye akufanele alindele izimanga ezingamangalisa.

Umfana omnene, noma ungabizwa ngokuthi iphupho nganoma iyiphi enye indlela. La madoda angumuntu omnene, oqotho, ozwelayo, othandekayo, kumnandi ukuba uhlale nabo uvumelane futhi ucabange ngekusasa. Lolu hlobo lomuntu luyakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano ebuhlotsheni bakho, ngoba uthando luyingxenye yendaba yakhe. La madoda anhle, ngisho nangezinye izikhathi. Yiqiniso, zifana namakhittens amancane, acela ukuba anconywe futhi acindezeleke, kodwa, noma kunjalo, ahlanzekile kakhulu. Lolu hlobo alubuzi ukuthi ngabe owesilisa kufanele avule owesifazane imizwa yakhe. Uzolokhu umangale ukuthi kulo mbhangqwana wokuqala, phakathi nemihlangano yokuqala, uvuma kuwe ngothando lwakhe olukhulu futhi oluhlanzekile. Ngilungele ukuphikisana, kuzokumangaza, ngoba ngokuvamile ukuqala ukubona amantombazane othandweni, ngenxa yobungozi babo nothando lwabo. Kodwa cishe cishe kuzokukukhathaza ngokushesha, ngoba ngisho nomunye umuntu otholile, umphefumulo osengozini, okungukuthi, owesifazane, ukwanele emndenini.

Ngokuqondene nalolu hlobo lwamadoda afana neCasanova nomthandi okhono, lokhu kunalo igama elikhulu, elibamba igama, igama, igama elibizwa nge-slang of men, bathanda ukuzibamba. Yebo bafana namakhophi avela eNcwadini Ebomvu, abayinto engavamile esikhathini sethu. Futhi emva kwakho konke, zama ukuthola umuntu owazi abesifazane kahle, ukuthi kufanele akhulume kanjani futhi nini, ukuze aneliseke. La madoda angcono ngomqondo wokuthi abacabangi nje kuphela ukuthi bangazijabulisa kanjani, kodwa futhi nomngane wabo. Yebo, ngokuya ocansini, kungenzeka ukuthi abanakho ukuncintisana, abanenhlanhla, abanesithakazelo, bayazi kakhulu ngalolu daba. Ingabe indoda kufanele ivulele owesifazane imizwa yakhe? Akaze abuze umbuzo onjalo kuye nakumeluleki bakhe. Lolu hlobo lwamadoda alufuni ukuba nomuntu kuze kube phakade, ukucabanga ngomndeni omkhulu, ojabulayo. Uyaneliseka ngoshintsho oluqhubekayo lwabambisene nabo. Futhi othandweni lomunye wabo, ngokuqinisekile ngeke avume, ngaphandle kokuthi angaphonsa inkulumo enjalo ukuze adonsele isisulu esilandelayo embhedeni. Kodwa akasoze ambula imizwa yakhe kumfazi, okungukuthi, ngaphezu kwesithunzi sakhe. Mhlawumbe laba besabe besaba ukungathí sina ubuhlobo, besaba ukulahlekelwa inkululeko yabo, besaba ushintsho, abazange bakhule futhi baziphathe njengezingane ezincane ezifuna ukuthola amathoyizi amasha.

Enye into ingumusa. Ziyakwazi kuzo zonke izindaba, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ziyibhizinisi, zingabangane kuphela, noma zibuhlobo nowesifazane. Uhlale eyazi ukuthi uzokukhuluma nini, ngezinye izikhathi uyobe esekela, hhayi nje ukudala izimo ezihlazo. Embuzweni ukuthi umuntu kufanele adalule imizwa yakhe kowesifazane, uma engumfana angaphendula kalula. Amadoda anjalo azovuleka kuwe, uma ezwa ngempela, noma okungenani aqonde ukuthi kukhona okuzokwenzeka kuzo. Yiqiniso, bangatshela ngemizwa yabo, bavulele ngaphambi komama, ukukhombisa ukuthi bangobani abafana nabo bonke, okumele bakwenze kuqala. Uyayithanda yini isenzo esinamandla kangaka?

Uhlobo lokugcina lwamadoda ngumuntu ophelele. Lena yilapho esikholelwa khona futhi silinde kusukela ebuntwaneni. Lesi yisikhulu esinamandla esizogibela ihhashi elimhlophe bese sisindisa inkosikazi enhle ekuboshweni. Azikho izikhulu ezinjalo, thina ngokwethu sibhekisela kulolu daba kuwo wonke umuntu. Ngakho-ke, asazi ukuthi ngabe indoda kufanele iveze imizwa yakhe kowesifazane, uma kunjalo noma kunjalo akunjalo nhlobo.

Akunandaba ukuthi uhlobo luni lomuntu oyikhethile. Akunandaba, uzokutshela ngemizwa yakho ngesonto noma ngenyanga, kubalulekile ukuthi livule ngaphambi kwakho futhi liyoba njengesipho esamukelekile, esifanelekayo sezulu. Into eyinhloko yindoda akumele icindezele futhi icacise ukuthi yikuphi okungakutshela yona.