Ngeminyaka engu-5-6, i-"ideal" isivele ilungele 90%. Lokhu kwenzeka kanjani? Intombazane ithandana nopapa, idonselwa kuye. Ngokuvamile, lokhu kwenzeka ngokungazi. Yile ndlela inkimbinkimbi ye-Electra, eyaziwa nge-psychology, ibonakala. Le ntombazane ingakwazi ngisho nokumemezela obala ukuthi: "Baba, ngishade!" Uqala ukumhawukela nonina, kuyilapho enza konke okusemandleni ukuze abe njengoye. Ngakho-ke izivivinyo ezingenangqondo nge lipsticks umama wami kanye nezinwele zezinwele, coquetry. Konke ngenhloso eyodwa: ukuheha umuntu obaluleke kakhulu emhlabeni - ubaba wami othandekayo. Ngokweqiniso, ukuxilongwa ngokobulili kungenjalo, kodwa akubonakali ingane. Yini okufanele ibe yindoda ekahle - funda encwadini yethu.
Okokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu
Uma abazali bethola amagama afanele - isiphepho semizwelo sidlulayo, ingane ikhohlwa mayelana nezinhlelo zakhe zokushada, kodwa isithombe sikapapa njengendinganiso yomuntu uhlala. Kodwa uma ubaba enesifo sokuphuza utshwala, unesihluku, uphakamisa isandla sakhe kunina, akaqapheli indodakazi yakhe - ngokujwayelekile, kude nekhanda elihle lomndeni - indoda izokhetha umuntu noma yini emfanekisweni nasemfanekisweni. Iqiniso liwukuthi ukungazi lutho akuhlukanisi izenzo nokuziphatha kukapapa kokuhle nokubi. Ngokungafani nomama, intombazane iyamamukela njengoba enjalo. Ikakhulukazi uma ubaba emnika ingane yonke into edingekayo ngenjabulo. Ngakho-ke, inhloko yomndeni ingakwazi ukuzwakalisa usuku lwabo nge-vareniki, kodwa sekwephuzile kakhulu futhi sekwephuzile kakhulu ukubuyela emsebenzini. Noma ube yindodakazi, sebenzisa ubusuku ngaphandle kwendlu, kodwa ngempelasonto uqale nendodakazi yenyoka ehamba ngezinyawo. Futhi kulokho, futhi kwezinye izimo, ukuhleleka kukapapa enhloko yengane akukho ngaphansi kokungabaza.
Futhi ngiyaqaphela ukuthi uyathandeka ... Iphunga
Ekugcineni uhlangabezane nalowo owaphuphayo - ikhophi eqondile yophiko noma cha. Kodwa kukhona okungalungile. Mhlawumbe, awuvumelani namakha amanoni, ososayensi bathi. Imvelo ibone konke: lokhu kumnandi okungahambi kahle kuphethe ulwazi olubalulekile lwezakhi zofuzo, okuyinto ubuchopho, njengekhompyutha, efunda. Ngakho-ke, uma umlingani afanela iphunga, ulwazi lwakhe lofuzo luhluke kakhulu neyakho. Lokhu kwandisa amathuba okuthola inzalo enempilo, enamandla. Kodwa "ukusabela kwamakhemikhali" akude nenjabulo yomndeni. I-Pheromones ingavusa ukuhlakanipha, ukuphakamisa ukuthi ubani onguhle wokuzala, kodwa abeluleki ekukhetheni umlingani wokuphila.
Emfanekisweni nofana ...
Umndeni ka-Alena ungabizwa uhhafu uphelele: Ubaba womngane wami wayekude kuze kube semkhatsini wempilo yakhe - kuze kube yiminyaka eyi-10. Khona-ke waya komunye umndeni. Kodwa u-Alena ngokoqobo ngonyaka ozayo uyise wakhe wesifazane wabonakala - enhle futhi enakekelayo. Yini eyamangalisa u-Alena Mama, lapho uGosh, indodakazi ekhethiwe, efana nobaba wakhe. Futhi wayengenakucabangela impilo ngaphandle kokuzingela futhi wayesebenze ebusika. "Ngiyamthanda nje, futhi ubaba akahlangene nalokhu," umngane wakhe wanxusa unina. "Futhi mayelana nokucabangela kukaPapin ngokugeza emgodini weqhwa, ngangingazi." Akungabazeki ukuthi u-Alain uphonse amahhashi ngokuvumelana nesimiso sokufana - akafani noyise. Kodwa okukhethayo ku-Goshi akukwazi ukubizwa ngokuthi ngengozi. Umqondo wengane ongathà sina unjengokuthi "udwebe" upapa, ulenga ilebula "ekahle" esithombeni, futhi uyithumele ekujuleni kwawo. Le ntombazane ikhula, futhi isithombe sesikhathi esizayo siqala ukwakha ngaphandle kokuqonda. I-Electra complex ayikwazi ukukhula. Uma engavunyelwe ngesikhathi, impilo yomuntu ingafana nokuhamba emibuthanweni yesihogo. Uqonda kahle ukuthi akathandi abantu abagcwele, ukuthi ukuhaha kuyisimo esibi, futhi kungcono uma othandekayo wakhe enemfundo ephakeme nefulethi kunomfundi ompofu. Le ntombazane yenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukukhetha amadoda abonisa isibonelo, kodwa engazi lutho futhi imdonsa ngempela kulabo ababukeka sengathi ubaba nombukiso. Futhi kubo uzama ukufezekisa lolo thando nomfudumalo owawunqatshelwe ebuntwaneni bakhe. Kufana nokwakhiwa kwemigomo. Uma kwenzeka wonke umuntu ethi: "Ungumuntu ophuza utshwala ophelele, unkosikazi, ungahlala kanjani naye?" - intombazane yona ibonakala iqonda lokhu, kodwa ayikwazi ukuzisiza.
Kusuka okuphambene ...
Ekuphileni kukaKatya, uPapa wayehlala njalo. Akayena umuntu omubi, kodwa akakaze abe oyinhloko emndenini wabo. Kwakukhona isikhathi lapho ethanda ukuphuza, khona-ke wayezoshiya omunye umndeni, futhi kwenzeke, wanyamalala emasontweni ambalwa. Ushada u-Catherine - okuphambene ngqo noyise: akaphuzi, akabhemi, unomsebenzi wakhe, unomuntu oyedwa. Kwenzekani, esikhathini esizayo umyeni uzoba njengobaba? Hhayi kahle. Kulokhu, ingqondo ivuliwe. Lapho eseneminyaka eyishumi nambili, intombazane iyazi ukuthi ngubani ongafuni ukuyibona nayo, futhi ifuna umyeni wakhe "kusuka ekuphambene". Kodwa, njengoba kungase kubonakale kungajwayelekile, imishado enjalo ibhujiswa kaningi kunezinyunyana zothando. Into yukuntuleka kokwaneliseka. Indoda ekahle, ngokungafani noyise, "ayibambe". Sekuyisikhathi, konke kulungile, kodwa kancane kancane owesifazane uzoqala ukugubha ngaphezu kwezinto ezincane. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kubonakala sengathi kukhishwa amandla wezinhlamba. Indoda yeka ukuhlonipha umkayo futhi ihambisa isahlukaniso. Ngenxa yokuthi le ntombazane inakelela okuphambene nobaba, kunomqondo omuhle womama. Ukuxwayisa ingane yamaphutha, umama uthi: "Bheka, uyini uyihlo - waphinde wagijima." Emva kwala mazwi, khetha indoda kumuntu ofanayo nalowo ohlukumeza umndeni, angafuni.
Ubaba ...
Awu, uma uyise engumndeni omuhle futhi eba yindodakazi yakhe. Kodwa ubaba oyisibonelo ngezinye izikhathi ngomlilo awuyikuthola - kuvela, inhlanhla kulabo abakhulela ngaphandle kwakhe? Hhayi ngempela. Kulesi simo, amadoda angakwazi ukuphuma ebhenkimeni noma kunjalo. Ukuthi kuyoba kanjani kuncike kumama, okungukuthi, ngesimo sakhe sengqondo sabantwini, ikakhulukazi kumntwana wentombazana. Uma umama engenakho okwanele ukuzivikela ekukhulumeni kabi ngaye, ingqondo yengane ingavuthisa umbono: "Abantu baletha ukuhlupheka kuphela!". Ngakho-ke ukungahambi kahle kobulili obuhlukile kanye nokuxilongwa kochungechunge oluthi "umqhele wokuqothula". Kodwa, uma le ntombazane ingenabo ubaba, imodeli yendoda ekahle kuye ingaba ngumuntu onomndeni-onomusa onakekela ingane. Ubaba kuningi, kodwa hhayi bonke. Yiqiniso, kubalulekile ukuthi intombazane ibonakale njengengane njengowesifazane ohlakaniphile, omuhle futhi ongcono. Futhi lezi zimpawu kufanele zizwakale zivela kubaba. Uma kungenjalo, ekubeni ngumfana osemusha, intombazane iqala ukufuna ukuqinisekiswa "kobuhle" bayo kwamanye amadoda. Njengomthetho, ukusesha kwayo kusebenza: amadoda avame ukuphumelelana, futhi wonke ahluke kakhulu kangangokuthi akunakwenzeka ukuqonda ukuthi ubani othanda ukunambitheka. Yena ngokwakhe akazi. Uthanda nje labo abathanda kuye. Umsebenzi oyinhloko ukukhokhela ukunakwa kukababa ekubuntwaneni. Kodwa akukwazi ukusho ukuthi upapa wahlangana nokukhanya ngedaka. Ukukhetha komyeni kuncike ezimisweni zokuphila, i-genotype, imfundo, ukuzihlonipha nokuningi. Ngakho-ke, inkimbinkimbi ye-Electra, njengombuso, ihlushwa abantu ababuthakathaka abathanda ukuhluleka ukukwazi ukuguqula impilo ngokuthi "Ngingowesifazane, yingakho ngikhuthazelela konke ..."
Ungubani yena, indoda yakho ekahle?
Ukuze uhlangabezane nokufanelekile, akudingeki ulinde ukuthi avele, ehlezi embhedeni, noma ngokuzama ukukhathazeka-ngokukhathazeka ukuzama kukho konke okulinganayo. Kufanele ihambe ngenye indlela. Yakha isithombe somuntu ofanelekayo - hhayi ekhanda, kodwa ephepheni. Bhala phansi ukuthi yiziphi izimfanelo okufanele abe nazo, futhi uchaze ngokuningiliziwe ukubonakala kwakhe. Nquma ngesimo sakhe sengqondo kuwe. Ukuthi kufanele akuthande akukhulunywe ngisho nokuxoxwa. Kodwa bhala izimo zokuphila kanye nokuphendula kwayo, okuyinto, ngokubona kwakho, kuyoba yindlela enhle kakhulu kuwe. Ungumuntu onjani nomuntu wakho? Chaza konke ngokuningiliziwe: ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, ukuthi yini oyifunayo, ukuthi yini oyiphupha eceleni kwakhe. Njengoba uzenzele isithombe esinjalo sothando, uzokwazi ukuthi ubani onethuba lokuba oshade naye, futhi ngubani ongafanelanga ukuchitha isikhathi sakho esiyigugu.