Kulo mzuzu, umsindo ojabulisayo ozwakalayo uzwakala njengezwi elithi "isehlukaniso" imisindo. Ngesikhathi i-Leo Tolstoy omkhulu ethi imindeni ejabulayo iyafana, futhi yonke imindeni engajabuli ayijabule ngendlela yayo. Emakhulwini amabili eminyaka adlule kusukela la mazwi, akukho lutho olushintshile. Uma umndeni ukhiwa futhi ujabule, khona-ke lesi sizathu asifunwa, futhi uma into emndenini ihamba kabi futhi ingekho, ke ngifuna ukuthola imithombo, nginqume ukuthi ubani ozolahlwa, ukuthi yikuphi okusolakala ukuthi nguye osola.
Ngifuna ukuqonda ukuthi yini ephule ngokuphelele ubuhlobo babantu ababukeka ubuso babo obujabulisayo kusuka emifanekisweni yomshado nokuthi kungenzeka yini ukuyilungisa, noma uma konke kuphukile ngempela ngokungenakuqhathaniswa, akukho ukuthutha okuphambene nokuhlukana yiyona ndlela kuphela futhi engcono kakhulu yokuphuma.
Naphezu kwazozonke izimbangela zesehlukaniso, izinguqulo eziningi zithuthuka zombili izinhlangothi - izizathu eziyinhloko eziholela ekuhlukaniseni zinganciphisa amaqembu alandelayo.
Iqembu lokuqala lapho ukuhlukaniswa khona ngempela yithuba elilodwa lomunye wamalungu omndeni ukusindisa izimpilo zabo, impilo nokuzihlonipha. Ngokuphathelene nemindeni ewela ngenxa yobuhlungu bomunye womshado, kokubili ngokomzimba nokuziphatha. I-Pogoi, ukuhlambalaza, ukuxhashazwa - yilesi isizathu sokuhlukanisa, okungesiyiphuthumayo. Ukungabaza noma ukuzindla kulesi simo akunakwenzeka.
Iqembu lesibili liyisihlukaniso ngokuphathelene nokulutha komunye wamalungu omndeni. Ukuphuza, ukulutha izidakamizwa, ukulutha ukugembula. Lezi ziphutha zinempahla yesifo kanti ngezinye izikhathi ziphathwa kahle. Ngakho-ke, isinqumo sokuhlukanisa ngeke sithathwe ngentukuthelo, ngaphandle kokwenza izinhlangothi zombili ukubhekana nalezi zinto ezimbi ezimbi. Kodwa, uma imizamo yenziwa iqembu elilodwa kuphela, umphumela omuhle awunakwenzeka ukufezwa. Ngezinye izikhathi ubudlelwane bomshado bomshado buya phansi ngenxa yezizathu ezihluke ngokuphelele, futhi noma yikuphi ukuphuza iwayini kunikezwa ukuphuza utshwala kanye nesizathu esiyinhloko sokuxoxa ngendaba yesehlukaniso.
Mhlawumbe, zonke ezinye izizathu zesehlukaniso azikho izizathu ezizwakalayo. Izimpande zabo zisezimbangela zokuzithoba. Lezi zizathu zichazwe ngamagama ahlukene, izizathu ezihlukahlukene kanye nezikhathi ezinikezwayo, izinsolo zokuhlambalaza kanye nokuhlambalaza. Abashadile ngesikhathi sokuhlukanisa baxoxisana konke okuqoqene futhi abilisiwe ngesikhathi sokuphila ndawonye. "Uthola kancane," "Ungenasisekelo," "Akasizi ngemisebenzi yasendlini," "Akakwazi ukupheka," "Ufika emva kwesikhathi emsebenzini," "Usephuzile emsebenzini." Lezi zizathu ziba yizona eziyinhloko zesehlukaniso eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila, futhi ngemuva kwazo zonke kukhona ukukhathala ngokuhlala ndawonye, ukungakwazi noma ukungathandi ukulungiswa komunye nomunye, i-maximalism yezingane (hhayi ngokweminyaka yobudala) ngokusuka kokuqedwa komzwelo wokuthakazelisa nokuthakazelisayo wothando.
Ubuhlobo bomshado bomshado ngesikhathi sokuhlukanisa obangelwa yizizathu zizinzile kakhulu futhi zishintsha. Bazungezela njengokungena ngokuzondana kuya emaceleni yesikhashana ngisho nasezikhukhuleni ezintsha zothando, baphinde baphazanyiswe ukuhlambalazana. Izinkathi ezinjalo zingahlala isikhathi eside, njalo ziphindaphindiwe, futhi ekugcineni ziholele ekupheleni kwesikhathi sokugcina, noma zibuyele ngokuthula esikhathini esedlule futhi kube nokuthula nokuzwana phakathi komndeni, noma okungenani ukubekezelelana kokubili kanye nekhono lokungagxila ekuphutheni komlingani.
Ezimweni ezinjalo kubaluleke kakhulu ukungaphazamisi ebuhlotsheni bomshado, hhayi ukusekela ohlangothini olulodwa noma olunye uhlangothi, ukungabi nesimo esimweni somndeni ngisho nasesisusa esihle. Ngokuvamile lesi sinzo sizalwa kubazali bomshado, ngezinye izikhathi abangane abangcono kakhulu. Noma yikuphi ukungenelela ezindabeni zomndeni kusuka ngaphandle (uma inkulumo ingenzi isongo empilweni noma empilweni) igcwele imiphumela engalindelekile. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuhlobo bomndeni bukhula kanjani esikhathini esizayo, ukuphazamiseka kwangaphandle ngeke kukhohliwe. Ngegama elilodwa elingenandaba, ungakwazi ukubhubhisa umndeni wakho kuze kube phakade futhi uzithole engxenyeni yommangalelwa waphakade kulokhu kubhubhisa. Uma umndeni usaphila kuzo zonke lezi zinhlekelele zokuphila, okufanayo, ubudlelwane nomunye wabalingani bazobhujiswa unomphela.
Okubuhlungu ikakhulukazi ubudlelwano phakathi kwabashade ngesikhathi sehlukaniso sezingane zabo. Ekubuntwaneni konke kubonakala kuphakade. Injabulo ayinakuvinjelwa, izinkinga azitholakali. Ngakho-ke, noma yikuphi ukungqubuzana, ngisho nangaphezulu kakhulu inqubo yesehlukaniso, kuyathinta kakhulu ingqondo yengane, kokubili incane futhi incane. Ukungalingani kwengqondo okukhulu kwezingane zanamuhla kubangelwa ukuthi abangaphezu kwengxenye yabo bahlala emindeni engumzali oyedwa noma nomzali ongumzali (ngokuvamile ubaba, kodwa umama osamukelayo akavamile). Ngakho-ke, ngesikhathi sokuhlukanisa, abazali kufanele baqaphe ngokukhethekile ekukhulumisaneni nezingane futhi bangashintshi izinkinga zabo emiphefumulweni yabo kanye namahlombe abo.
Uma ngabe le nkulumo isifinyelele esivumelwaneni sezomthetho, ukweqa nokuhlukaniswa kwempahla, zonke izizathu eziyisizathu sokuqhafaza futhi zibe yizinto zokuphikisana okubabayo futhi zisetshenziselwa ukuphikisana nokuzama ukubuyisela emuva ngaphezulu kwempahla yabo etholakalayo. Akekho ophikisana ngokuthi konke kuwumsebenzi onzima kithi, kodwa kungcono ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle komunye nomunye kunanoma yiziphi izimpahla ezibonakalayo. Ekuphileni, ungathola izibonelo eziningi lapho oshade naye emva kokuhlukanisa baqhubeka nokugcina ubuhlobo obuhle, ngokubambisana nokunakekela izingane, basizane uma kunesidingo. Futhi, kuningi abantu abaqhubeka bezondana emva kweminyaka eminingi yokuphila okuhlukile. Bheka labo nalabo abanye, ulalele futhi uzame ukuhlala abantu ngisho nasesimeni esinzima sokuhlukana. Cabangela zonke izifundo zokuphila kwakho, khumbula amaphutha akho nezinye amaphutha abantu, ukuze ungaziphindi esikhathini esizayo. Ngemuva kwalokho, emva kokuhlukana komshado, isimo sethu sengqondo sincike kulokho okuyoba khona.