Ngisho nezibalo zikhuluma ngokwazo, imindeni engu-70% ibhekene nesimo esifanayo, njengokushiya umyeni emndenini kuya enkosikazi. Futhi umbuzo wokuqala ngokungangabazeki uhambela ikhanda lomfazi olahliwe: ingabe kufanelekile ukuhlukanisa noma cha?
Ukuze uqonde ngempela kudingekile ukuba uhlukanise noma cha, uma umyeni ehamba nenkosikazi yakhe, okokuqala owesifazane olahliwe kufanele ahlaziye kahle indlela umyeni wakhe aziphatha ngayo, yimuphi isizathu sokuhamba kwakhe emndenini? Kulesi simo, kubalulekile ukubamba ingxoxo ehlangene nabo bobabili bomshado. Ukuze ekugcineni uthole ukuthi yini eyenza oshade naye amshiye umkayo nokuthi ngabe isahlukaniso sidingeka, kunezinketho eziningi ezingenzeka, futhi ngokuvamile zixhomeke kulohlobo lomshado.
Njengomthetho, abafazi abalahliwe bayenqaba ukukholelwa kulokho okwenzekile futhi bazama ukubuyisela umlingani ongenakekile ngokugxekwa. Ngenxa yalokho, ngaleyo ndlela kukhulisa isimo samanje.
Uma ungeke ukwazi ukuxoxa ngazo zonke izicabangela zesimo, khona-ke bobabili abashadile kudingeka bafune usizo kumqondo wezengqondo zomndeni, kodwa nokho banqume ukuthi ngabe bayothatha yini isehlukaniso, uma umyeni eya enkosikazi yakhe? Kulezi zindaba kukhona ochwepheshe abaningi abanekhono abazosiza ekufinyeleleni isinqumo esifanele engxenyeni yendoda nomkayo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, isisombululo esifanele kunazo zonke ukuxhumana nochwepheshe wezengqondo, kepha ngeshwa abantu abaningi abanombono omubi ngomkhankaso ohlangene nomchwepheshe, bakholelwa ukuthi bayakwazi ukuqonda isimo sabo ngokwabo.
Isizathu kanye nokusola kwalesi simo esibuhlungu kutholakala kubo bobabili bomshado. Ukuze umuntu alondoloze umshado oqinile, ithoni ibalulekile ebuhlotsheni, amadoda ayaziwa ngokuthanda amehlo, ahlale efuna ukubona umngane wabo wokuphila esimweni esifanele nesimo somzimba esihle kakhulu. Owesifazane, njengoba eyaziwa kakhulu ngezindlebe zakhe, uhlale elindela kumyeni wakhe ukuncoma kanye namazwi afudumele abonisa uthando lwakhe kanye nesifiso somkakhe, futhi, umkakhe uhlale ejabule futhi ukubonakala komzimba kwemizwa. Futhi into ebalulekile kulabo abashadile kuyisondo.
Njengombuso, ngesifiso isifiso sithatha isikhathi eside phakathi neminyaka, futhi njengoba amadoda efuna kakhulu umkayo futhi afuna ukunakwa nokuqonda okwengeziwe, futhi uma bebhekene nesimo sengqondo esivela kumkayo, ngokuvamile bakhetha ukuthola induduzo ezandleni zekosikazi, ngokuvamile indlovukazi yendoda yakhe incane futhi umfazi omuhle kakhulu.
Noma kunjalo, ngandlela-thile kwakungekho, owesifazane ozithola esesimweni esinzima kufanele enze ukhetho: kufanele yini afake isicelo sokuhlukanisa uma umyeni wakhe eya enkosikazi yakhe?
Khona-ke lona wesifazane udinga ukuzikhethela ngokucacile ukuthi angayigcina yini amehlo akhe ekukhawuleni umyeni wakhe, aqonde futhi amthethelele uma efuna ukubuyela emndenini. Kodwa lokhu kusengelula ukwenza kanjalo, ngakho-ke izilinganiso ziyokwenza ukuthatha isinqumo ngenhloso yesehlukaniso.
Futhi yini engase iphoqele owesifazane ukuba athole izilinganiso ukuze alondoloze umshado? Kulokhu futhi, wonke owesifazane unezizathu eziningi. Isizathu esibaluleke kunazo zonke esikhuthaza ukugcina umshado ngemva kokushiya umlingani kumakhosikazi, lezi ziyizingane ezivamile. Akunqweneli ukucasula ingane yengane esemncane, indoda ivame ukubuyela emndenini, ithole ukuthethelelwa komkakho, futhi iqhubeke iphila, idale umbono womshado oshadile ojabulisayo.
Esimweni esinjalo, ungaletha izingxabano eziningi kunoma iyiphi enye inzuzo. Kodwa uma ukhetho lomuntu lwenziwa, futhi usuvele ushiye umndeni ngenxa yenkosikazi yakhe, umfazi oshiywe yedwa, onendlela efanele nokuqonda lokho akulindele empilweni nasemndenini wakhe wonke, unquma ukuthi uzokuhlukanisa noma cha uma ngabe umyeni uye waya enkosikazi yakhe.