Ukuziphatha okungafanelekile ngenxa yokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo

Ngaki kaningi siyamemeza: "Akunakwenzeka ukuqonda lo muntu - uziphatha ngendlela engafaneleki!" Noma khumbula umngane: "Emva kokuxhumana naye ngizizwa ngiphukile ..." I-psyche yethu ihlelwe kanjalo: into yokuqala eyenzayo izama ukuthola isizathu sokuthi isethi yaziwa izinto zakhe kanye nezenzakalo. Kuvela uhlu lonke: imfundo embi noma umlingiswa, "uqobo nje, ungenzenjani?", "Ungumuntu wokuqala" ... Uma lezo zembonakaliso ziba ngaphezulu kakhulu, sibuza umbuzo - mhlawumbe awusenjalo futhi lokhu kuyichazwa ngokwesayensi? Ngempela, imbangela yokuziphatha okunganele kungaba ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo, okuyinto umuntu ayithola ngesikhathi esemncane. Njengomthetho, akakuboni, kodwa kuthinta ukuziphatha ekukhuleni. Cabanga ngezinhlobo ezintathu ezivame kakhulu: umuntu onobuthi, onobuchopho futhi othembekile. OKUNGENYE NOKUVELA
Ngokuvamile sibhekene nesimo lapho umngane (noma ngokuvamile ongaphandle) uphonsa kithi ukusakazwa okungadingekile kithi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nje nolwazi olubi. Ake ucabange, ufika enhle salon ukuze uthathe izinwele ezintsha, futhi inkosi engumsebenzi iqala ukukutshela ukuthi konke okusemandleni akhe kubi yini: futhi izingane azifuni ukufunda, futhi indoda ayitholi kancane, futhi ifenisha iyabamba inja ... Uhlala, poddakivaete, futhi wena ngokwakho ucabanga, lapho lesi sikhukhula siphelile. Futhi ngemva kokushiya i-salon, uzizwa unjenge-lemon, nakuba ngaphambi kokuba uhambo oluya e-hairdresser ube nesimo sengqondo esithokozile nenjabulo.

Ubani ongaphambi kwakho?
Ngalolu hlobo, kukhona amagama ajwayelekile: umuntu onobuthi noma isiphephelo "sevampire" yengqondo. Uphawu lwesimo - uzizwa unamandla obuthakathaka obunamandla. Ukukhulumisana, uyaqonda ukuthi awunasithakazelo kuye - endaweni yakho ingaba yimuphi. Abantu abanobuthi baxoxa ngokuqondene nabo kuphela, abalaleli imibono yabanye. Abaze, noma yini futhi akukho muntu owanelisayo. Bagxeka, balahle, bahlebe noma badinga usizo lwakho, futhi kaningi - ngokuphuthumayo. Ngokuvamile kubonakala sengathi "kudlula" okuhamba phambili komunye, endleleni ehlazisa futhi ehlambalaza. Ngokwenza kanjalo, bakwenza njengokungathi akukho okwenzekile - kusukela ekuboneni kwabo, kumongo wengxoxo yezwe.

Ngakho, umngane oyedwa emhlanganweni njalo uthi: "Ubheka ukhathele ... Isikhumba sakho sibi, sifunga. Awuzange uphumule kahle? Futhi akunakwenzeka ukukhipha u-dandruff, kwesokudla? "Kuyacaca ukuthi isimo sengqondo ngemuva kokuthi" ukuncoma "okunjalo kuphelile, njengombhaluni okhishwe ngengozi kwengane ... Abantu abaningi, bebona lo wesifazane, badlulela kolunye uhlangothi lomgwaqo. Kodwa ungazisola: ukubukeka okungenakuphikwa, ukungakwazi ukugqoka kahle, ukunganeliseki ngomsebenzi (esikhundleni somsebenzi womculi, lokho ayekuphuphile, isikhundla somhlengikazi) nokuphila komuntu siqu. Kubonakala sengathi uhlale esaba ukuthi uzobuzwa ukuthi kungani engashayi futhi kungani umyeni wakhe emshiyile? Ngakho-ke, uhlasela kuqala. Indlela yabantu abanobuthi ivuselela imizwelo emibi.

Kungani beba njalo?
Banesimo sengqondo esingalungile sokuziphatha emphakathini, futhi izimpande zenkinga kufanele zibhekwe ebuntwaneni. "Utshwala" lungaba umphumela wokungabi nabuhlungu kwangaphakathi komuntu - ubona yonke indawo ukubamba, kungabonakali futhi kungalokothi kuvuleke kwenye. Uthatha isikhundla sokuzivikela ngokuqondene nabanye, kodwa ngokuvamile ukuhlasela kuqala.

Uziphatha kanjani?
Uma lo osebenza naye, qaphela ibanga. Ukhononda ngomunye umsebenzi? Yithi: "Kungcono ukukhulumisana nalokhu kumphathi" noma "Mhlawumbe kufanele uphendukele kumqondo wezengqondo?" Akunakwenzeka ukuthi uzokwenza lokhu (khumbula ukuthi uzwa kuphela uqobo - umbono wakho awunandaba nabo), kodwa ngakho uzothola umthelela omubi. Khuluma ngokuthobeka futhi kumamatheka - lo muntu onobuthi ulindele okungenani. Okufanelekile, akufanele uvumele umuntu onjalo empilweni yakho. Uma ehlala ebiza, ungathathi ifoni. Uma uqale ngencazelo yokuthi kungani ungafuni ukuxhumana, usazokwazi ukuthola lokho akudingayo - ukusabela kwakho. Ungabi yisisulu ngokuphikisana naye. Uma izinwele zezinwele zakhe zingasebenzi, maduzane uzokuyeka ukukucasula.

UKUSEBENZWA KWETHANDO
Intombazane eneminyaka emihlanu ubudala ithi: "Mama, ngingayidlala ebhokisini le-sandbox?" "Cha, ungangcolisa ingubo." - "Ngingadlala nabantwana egcekeni?" "Cha, angifuni ukuthi ube mabi njengabo." - "Ngingakwazi yini ukuba ne-ayisikhilimu?" "Cha, ungakwazi ukubamba umphimbo wakho." - "Ngizodlala nalesi puppy?" "Cha, angaba nezibungu." Ekupheleni kwalenkhulumomphendvulwano, ingane iqala ukukhala, futhi umama, ephendukela kumngani, owakhuluma naye ngentshiseko ngesikhathi sonke futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ephendula imibuzo yendodakazi yakhe: "Nginentombazane enjalo! Angikwazi ukuma ama-whims akhe njalo! "

Ubani ongaphambi kwakho?
Ubuntu obuthakathaka. Ngaphambilini, abantu abanjengomama babizwa ngokuthi "bafuna futhi," "basolisa ngokweqile," futhi "baphazamisa." Enhliziyweni ye-neurosis iyingxabano yangaphakathi.

USigmund Freud wayekholelwa ukuthi lapha kukhona umzabalazo wokucindezeleka (amandla) nokucindezeleka (isiko, ukuziphatha). Futhi uNoo-Freudian u-Karen Horney wayekholelwa ukuthi "ukuphazamiseka kwegazi kuphela kuvela uma lokhu kuxabana kubangela ukukhathazeka." Ubuntu obuthakathaka bulokhu buzama ukuheha - abahlaziyi (i-hysterical neurosis), ukwesaba nama-phobias (ukukhathazeka-phobic), ubuthakathaka (neurasthenia).

Kungani beba njalo?
Abantu abanesifo sezwe bafuna izinkinga, hhayi izixazululo, baxoxe ngezinkinga, bathole izithiyo ezintsha. Ukukhathazeka kukwenza ukhathazeke ngabathandekayo bakho, kuyilapho kunciphisa izenzo zabo. Enhliziyweni umuzwa wokuthi abanye ababalaleli futhi abaziqondi nakancane. Kukholelwa ukuthi ubuntu obunempilo obuthakathaka bathola ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo ebuntwaneni, engakwazi ukubhekana nayo, futhi wasabela ngokukhathazeka okukhulu ngenxa yokungabi namandla. Isifiso sokwamukelwa ngabanye siyamshayela futhi sikhulile.

Uziphatha kanjani?
Isidingo sothando esingasizwa asinalo lutho kuwe. Umkhiqizo womuntu onesizotha onomfanekiso womunye wabazali, obengenakwa ngaye. Ngakho-ke, uthando lwakho luzohlala luyingcosana ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngezinye izikhathi uzothola umqondo wokuthi emva kokuxhumana naye usuke ukhathele kakhulu, noma usuke ulaka ngoba kungekho isizathu esicacile. Lesi isibonakaliso ukuthi udinga ukuzikhathalela manje. Ukunakwa "ukuphawula" kukhishwe - izinsiza zakho ngeke zinde isikhathi eside.

NGAPHANDLE UKUQALA
Owesifazane konke ukuphila kwakhe kwakunzima kakhulu ukuxhumana nodadewabo osekhulile - phakathi kwabo kweminyaka engu-10 ehlukile. Owokuqala - umndeni: indoda kanye nezingane. Udadewethu omdala uhlukanisile, uhlala ngokwehlukana. Futhi njalo kusihlwa ubiza omncani ukuba axoxe ngezindaba ezithile. Futhi akaceli ukusikisela ngokuqondile, kodwa ubuza umbuzo futhi ulindele ukuba ahanjiswe kulokho okumele akwenze, kusukela ekuthengeni esitolo ngaphambi kokuba udinge ukuhlangabezana namakhasimende amasha mayelana nabancane abasazi lutho ...

Ubani ongaphambi kwakho?
Umuntu othembekile. Isidingo sabo esiyisisekelo ukushintsha izinqumo eziningi kanye nemithwalo yempilo yabo kwabanye. Bahlale beguqukayo lapho kudingeka ukuveza umbono, abakwazi ukwenza isinqumo sokugcina, ngisho nalapho kubonakala khona. Bacabanga ukuthi bazobe benza iphutha noma bakhethe okungalungile. Bahlala nomzwelo wokungabi nalutho, ngakho-ke uma umuntu onjalo ehlukana nomlingani, kufanele ngokuqinisekile agcwalise nomunye noma into ethile.

Kungani beba njalo?
Enhliziyweni yalokhu ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo okungenzeka ukuthi bakuthola ebuntwaneni basencane. Abazali bomuntu othembekile, mhlawumbe, abahlakazekile futhi abazange bachaze ingane ukuthi kwenzekani, uma bezinikezela yona. Empeleni, washiya yedwa, futhi isizungu somntwana kufana nokufa. Ngakho-ke, ngokuphila kwabantu abadala, kuqhutshwa ukwesaba isizungu somhlaba wonke kanye nesidingo sokwenza izinqumo ngokwakho ... Njengasebuntwaneni, lapho kungekho muntu omdala owayeseduze.

Uziphatha kanjani?
Uma isihlobo noma umngane wakho esondela kule ncazelo, khona-ke usuvele wazi ukuthi kwenzekani kubo nokuthi yini engayilandela. Yilalela umuntu onjalo, kodwa uvikele imingcele yomuntu siqu - lowo othembekile uyawaphula kalula. Ungaqhubeki mayelana - ukunciphisa iseluleko okungenani, ungangivumeli ngishintshe yonke imithwalo yakho. Abazali awukwazi ukumthatha esikhundleni sakhe, futhi esikhundleni sokuphila kwakhe, phila omunye umuntu.