Yini okufanele uqale ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinile: emabhandlela angu-4 ebalulekile we-psychologist yomndeni

Ezingqondweni zowesifazane wesifazane ukhonjiswe "ikhodi yezinganekwane". Sithatha i-postulates nobisi lomama, lapho le "chip chip-fairy chip" nayo ihlala kahle, futhi lapho sisezingeni eliphansi siqala ukuhlukanisa umhlaba emibusweni, abesifazane babe ngamakhosazana kanye nabathakathi ababi, namadoda ezikhulu neziphambululi. Kuyiqiniso, thina sinikeza indima yenkosikazi enhle kunabo bonke, othando lwazo izixuku nezicelayo nezikhulu zizolwa, kodwa ukufinyelela emphefumulweni nasemzimbeni kuyothola okufanelekile kakhulu ukufaneleka. Futhi emva komshado wasebukhosini obuhle kakhulu, isikhulu kanye nenkosikazi zizohlala isikhathi eside futhi zijabule, njengalokhu kule ndaba yezinganekwane. Kodwa ingabe kukhona inganekwane emva indaba inganekwane?

Ngeshwa, akusikho indaba yezinganekwane ukuthi kubhalwe kanjani ukuthi umbhangqwana ongokoqobo wezinganekwane uphila "isikhathi eside futhi ngenjabulo" futhi "ufe ngosuku olulodwa." Abatshele ukuthi abathandanayo banqoba kanjani izinkinga zansuku zonke, izinkinga zomndeni, ukuthi bavikela kanjani uthando lwabo ngomhawu, ubugovu nokufutheka. Noma kunjalo, yini ekhona yokona ezindabeni zezinganekwane? Asifundiswa le mithombo eqinisiwe kakhulu. Abazali, noma isikole, noma umphakathi awuqapheli ukuthi, lapho sisabadala, sishiya imibono emihle lapho kufanele khona-ebuntwaneni. Futhi ekwakheni umndeni, oqondiswa ulwazi lwezingqondo zesilisa nabesifazane, bekwazi ukuthethelela nokucela ukuthethelelwa, ukufuna ukulinganisa nokuthola ukuqonda okufanayo. Lena yindlela eya ebuhlotsheni obuhlakani kanye nothando oluvuthiwe. Ngakho-ke ukuthi uqale ukwakha ubudlelwane, ukuze baqine futhi baphile?

Bakha, wakha futhi ekugcineni wakha!

Isisekelo sanoma yiluphi ubudlelwane - isisekelo esiqinile, esabekwa ekuqaleni kothando. Futhi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lizwakala kanjani lihlambalaza futhi lingenangqondo, kodwa uthando luthanda ukubala okunzima. Kulo, njengokwakhiwa kwezindlu, kumele kube khona uhlelo olucacile, imiklamo kanye nemidwebo. Kuzikhukhumeza kakhulu ukukholelwa ukuthi into esemqoka othandweni imizwa, konke okunye kuzokwengezwa. Izoxhunyaniswa, kodwa kuphela uma kuzoba khona. Futhi akuyona nje indaba. Kuzophinde kuqiniswe uma isisekelo sothando sihlonipha imithetho yezwe langaphakathi lomuntu, elimethembayo ngokuzethemba, nesifiso sokungalawuli khona, kodwa ukuvumelanisa ngokubambisana okuzuzisayo. Yebo, yebo! Ukubambisana! Ngoba uthando lusebenza. Kunzima kakhulu, kodwa kuyamnandi kakhulu futhi kunezithelo. Yiqiniso, amagama "isivumelwano", "inzuzo", "ukubambisana" banquma izindlebe zabathandi. Kodwa ngaphandle kwabo, akukho ndawo, uma umgomo ukwakha ubudlelwane besikhathi eside nobujabulisayo. Futhi yiziphi abakhi bomshado obunxilisayo? Kulungile, cha! Abakhiqizi bezakhi eziyingozi. Abathandi abakucabangi ngesisekelo sendlu yabo, bephethe izakhiwo nokuxhumana. Bathi, ngomuzwa othukuthele, bakha izindonga zekhonkrithi kusukela emathembeni nasezinganekwane, izifungo ezithandweni eziphakade nezithembiso ze-swan loyalty. Futhi lapho umuzwa ongeyinto engapheli umthwalo onjalo, bayamangala kakhulu: kungani izindonga zawa? Funa onecala. Futhi abakhi kufanele babekwe icala, futhi bobabili ngesikhathi esisodwa. Ngakho-ke, ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukudala umndeni, thatha inkathazo ukuqedela "isakhiwo sokwakha umndeni".

Ungaqala kanjani ukwakha ubudlelwane?