Ngokuvamile, abantu abavamile abakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi kungani owesifazane ekhetha "indoda endala" lapho ebona umbhangqwana, lapho ebuka khona eminyakeni engama-20 ubudala, futhi usevele engaphezu kuka-50. Lapho ebona amadoda anjalo, akekho omangazayo ukuthi akhangwa ubuhle obuhle, kodwa kungani amantombazane amancane alalela omalume abavuthiwe, bangaqondi bonke. Kungani abesifazane abancane baxosha abontanga, kodwa bakhetha amadoda amadala?
Umbono wezinto zokuqala zokuphila
Le mbono iyona eyinhloko kakhulu futhi elula. Uma ubheka ngombono ongokwenyama, khona-ke ngombono wezinto abesifazane, ngokuphambene nalokho, kufanele bakhangele abafana abasha abanempilo enamandla nempilo eqinile abazoba namandla, abanesibindi, amandla, mobile nokunye. Kodwa uma ukhumbuza imibhalo ngezici zobuningi bokuthi uyaphuma, ungasho ukuthi kukhona ulimi lwesiRashiya okuthi amantombazane akhula unyaka ngaphambi kwabafana. Kodwa-ke, uma ufunda ulwazi kuze kube sekupheleni, ungabona ukuthi abafana basheshe bakuthole izingqondo zabo, babambe amantombazane ekupheleni kwebanga leshumi nantathu ngaphambi kokuthuthukiswa. Mhlawumbe amantombazane aqhubeka ezwa sengathi ungcono kubafana beminyaka yabo?
Ithiyori yesiBili - Freudian
Khumbula inkolelo kaFreud, ebizwa ngokuthi "Edipovkompleks"? Okuyinhloko yale ncazelo ukuthi wonke umuntu ufuna umngane wakhe, okungukuthi, intombazane kufanele ibukeke njengomamazala, futhi ilungiselele i-vareniki futhi ingakekele "indodana encane". Ezinye izazi zengqondo ziqinisekisa ukuthi kunezinye eziyinkimbinkimbi - "i-Electra complex". Ngokusho kwakhe, zonke izintombi zifuna indoda ebukeka njengoyise. Owesifazane ngamunye ufaniswa noyise wakhe. Umfana kufanele abe nomlingiswa ofanayo, imikhuba noma ukubukeka njengoyisezala. Isibonelo, abesifazane abathile abancane abasha nje kuphela lapho bezwa kumuntu iphunga elifanayo le-cologne, njengobaba wakhe noma lapho ephuza njengo-cigar, njengoyise. Kunesinye isichazamazwi se-Elektra complex, lapho kuthiwa i-satellite kufanele ithathe isikhundla sikayise wentombazane. Ikakhulukazi kwenziwa lapho intombazane ikhuliswe kuphela ngumama.
Umbono - jikelele
Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi ukuze ube ngumkami jikelele, kufanele uqale ukushada nesosha. Kodwa-ke, akuwona wonke owesifazane ofuna ukulinda futhi abale izinkanyezi emahlombe akhethiweyo. Kulula kakhulu futhi okusheshayo kumnandi jikelele jikelele! Ngakho-ke, amantombazane futhi afuna indoda esele ifinyelele okuthile futhi inezibusiso ezibonakalayo zomphefumulo wakhe, ngakho-ke izokwazi ukuhlinzeka abathandekayo bakhe ngokuphila okuhle. Nokho, kukhona enye inketho. Abesifazane abaningi bacabanga nje ngalokho abazokudla, kodwa nabantwana babo. Uma ungaba mnandi ngothando, khona-ke izingane zidinga okuthile okungathí sina. Ngaphezu kwalokho, akukho ntombazana enesiqiniseko sokuthi ngelinye ilanga isosha lizoba yinto evamile.
Umbono we-Fourth-topical
Wonke umuntu uyaqonda kahle ukuthi umuntu oye waphila ukuze abone iminyaka ethile, okokuqala, ungumuntu! Okwesibili, umuntu ohlakaniphile, onolwazi, ohlakaniphile. Ngakho-ke, kuyathakazelisa kakhulu, futhi kukhona into ongayikhuluma ngayo, ungacela iseluleko futhi uthembele kukho konke. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amadoda aneminyaka yobudala obunamaphesenti ayikhulu asebevele ewakhiwe. Uma indoda ngaphambi kwakho ishade izikhathi ezingu-6, ngokuqinisekile, ngeke ube ngumkakhe wokugcina. Uma usephuzile iminyaka engamashumi amabili, ngeke usishintshe. Uma umngane wakho ezama ukufeza okuthile, wayehlukumeze okuthile, wayezimisele, futhi ngokuzumayo enye yalezi zinsuku wamiswa njengomengameli wenkampani, ngakho-ke awukwazi ukungabaza ukuthi lokhu kungukungathembeki kwesikhundla sakhe somsebenzi. Okuncane futhi izingane zakho zizoba nomongameli-ntando yenkampani. Kodwa nabantwana abancane akuyona into elula kakhulu, udinga ukushintsha ingqondo yakho, uma engakuguquli eminyakeni emihlanu noma eyishumi, wakwazi ukufeza okuthile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, iningi labafana abanalo ulwazi olwanele ekusebenzelaneni nabesifazane, akuyona ngisho nocansi lobuhlobo obuhlosiwe. Ebusheni akekho ukuhlakanipha kwezwe, ngakho abakwazi ukuchaza lutho nhlobo, abazi ukuthi bangasho kanjani lokhu noma into. Yiqiniso, imvelo inikeze kokubili ingqondo kanye nokunye kwamadoda, kodwa, ngeshwa, futhi encane kakhulu ...
Imfundiso yesihlanu isihlobo
Ubani empeleni "amadoda amadala"? Yini okufanele ibe yindinganiso yokuhlukanisa wonke amadoda abe abasha nabavuthiwe? Ngokuvamile, udinga ukuqhathanisa iminyaka yabalingani. Unyaka wakhe kufanele ube yisikhathi esithandana nentombazane. Abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi umehluko omkhulu phakathi kwama-satellite unyaka wesi-5-7, uma nje usekhulile. Uhlu olungavumelekile lungaphezulu kweminyaka eyi-10. Kodwa-ke, esikhathini sethu imishado evamile yabesifazane abaneminyaka engu-70 ubudala abaneminyaka engu-19 ubudala kubhekwa njengokwejwayelekile. Yebo, kuyamangaza! Kodwa yini ongayenza ngakho? Bakhetha kanjalo, futhi banelungelo!
Ngakho-ke, ake sithi, kungani abesifazane bekhetha amadoda amadala?
- Indoda evuthiwe yindoda echithe impilo yakhe, inempahla ethize owesifazane akudingeki ukuba enze iminyaka eminingana ngokusebenza ngokweqile noma alinde amashumi eminyaka kuze kube yilapho konke kuvela. Asikho isidingo sokucabanga ngombono oniwona. Ngemuva kwakho konke, konke sekuvele kubonakale. Ngokuqinisekile unomsebenzi omuhle, isimo emphakathini, isikhundla noma nje imali engenayo enhle.
- Umuntu omdala ungumuntu. Uhlakaniphile futhi unolwazi. Kuyoba mnandi kakhulu kuye kunabantwana abancane, abanoba "nomoya" emakhanda abo. Abafana abacabangi ukuthi badinga ukwakha umndeni, kodwa amantombazane ayayifuna kakhulu.
- Ngokuvamile amantombazane ku-"daddies" athola imali. Ngokwezibalo, amantombazane ampofu akhethwanga ngokuvamile. Umuntu onjalo akaziphiki lutho kunoma yini, kepha enhlekazi angakwazi ukuhlela iparadesi emhlabeni. Kuhle ukuba osemncane futhi abe emazweni amaningi, zama izinto eziningi ezahlukene, uthenge izingubo ezimhlophe futhi ugibele emotweni enhle kakhulu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, akudingeki ulinde noma yini, uzonikezwa lokhu esitsheni sesiliva. Ngakho owesifazane angaphila usuku olulodwa ngaphandle kokucabanga ngalokho okuzokwenzeka kuye kusasa.
- Wayenempilo eminingi ekuphileni kwakhe, ngakho uyazi ukuthi kufanele aziphathe kanjani kahle, ukuthi kufanele aphike, nokuthi ungabonisa kanjani umlingiswa. Ubekezela kakhulu, okusho ukuthi uzothethelela futhi abekezelele izinkomba zakho ezincane kanye nezifiso zakho ezincane. Uzothola ngokuzithoba "izigcawu" zakho namahlaya. Kuyoba ukuphila okulula nokuthula.
- Njengomthetho, usuvele unezijwayele ezidingekayo nokuxhumana. Uma ufisa, angakusiza ukwakha ubuciko bakho, umsebenzi wakho, noma ukuxazulula inkinga enzima.
- Abesifazane abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi abantu abanjalo bayoziqhenya njalo futhi bahloniphe ubusha babo nobuhle babo. Ngeke alishintshe, ngoba ingane encane imlindele ekhaya futhi kubalulekile kuye ukuba abe naye. Uzobonakala sengathi nguye okhangayo, ofanelekayo futhi omuhle uma eqhathaniswa nabanye. Kodwa-ke, kufanele kukhunjulwe ukuthi kunezinhlobo ezifana nalezi "Casanova", ezothola kalula enye intombazane, kuphela ukushaya umunwe.
- Akudingekile ukuba ucabange ukuthi lapho amadoda asebekhulile enenkinga yokubonakala. Amadoda amaningi anganika izinkinga kunoma iyiphi inyane. Ngokuvamile, amantombazane abheka amadoda angewona abampofu, futhi azama ukuzigcina ehlelekile futhi anakekele impilo nokubukeka kwabo. Ngakho-ke, abanazo izinkinga zokuphila ngokocansi noma. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abesifazane abaningi bafuna "ukuzama" embhedeni yindoda enolwazi, ukwenza impilo ebuseduze ibe yinto ehlukahlukene futhi ethakazelisayo.
- Ngokuncane kakhulu ungahlala uyingane, ozoyiqeda futhi axazulule zonke izinkinga. Ngenxa yengqondo yakhe ehlakaniphile nehlombe eliqinile, uyohlale uphephile.
Naphezu kwazo zonke izinzuzo, ngiyeluleka le ntombazane ukuthi ibheke ukwehluleka kwalokhu kukhetha:
- Uma umuntu esevele esekhulile, ngabe uzokwelula isikhathi esingakanani? Ungukufa kwasezulwini. Uzoba nesikhathi esincane kuwe, uma sonke sishiya kuleli zwe.
- Imali elula ayikwazi njalo ukwenza intombazane ejabule. Wonke umuntu kufanele enze okuthile ngokwabo, ukuze kamuva bakwazi ukunambitha ukunambitheka kwenjabulo.
- Ezimweni eziningi, amantombazane athola ezandleni zabantu abanjalo nje ngamathoyizi. Angakwazi nganoma yisiphi isikhashana ukukhahlela intombazane noma ukumane umvimbele ekuboniseni umbono wakhe.
Kuwe. Qaphela lapho ukhetha. Futhi ngokuvamile, into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuba khona kwemizwa, inhlonipho nothando. Futhi yobudala ... Ubudala buyingcosana nje epasipoti ... Akusilo?