Umshado emva kobudlelwano besikhathi esifushane - ingabe uzoletha injabulo?

Bathi umshado uyisinqumo esingenakususwa ngokushesha. Kodwa wazi kanjani ukuthi umshado uzoletha injabulo? Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuba ndawonye ukuze usho ngokuqiniseka: lo mshado uzoletha injabulo, hhayi ubuhlungu nokudumazeka. Ngokuvamile, ngemva kobudlelwane obuyeke ukuphumelela, abantu abakholelwa ozakwethu futhi balinde isikhathi eside kakhulu, futhi ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kuholela ekuphuleni. Kodwa abanye, ngokuphambene nalokho, bashesha futhi badumala. Indlela yokwenza futhi isikhathi esingakanani esidinga ukuqonda umuntu. Amanye amantombazane azibuza: umshado emva kobudlelwano besikhathi esifushane - ingabe uzoletha injabulo?

Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo, umshado emva kobudlelwano besikhathi esifushane - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuletha injabulo, udinga ukwazi imininingwane eminingi ethinta ubuhlobo.

Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukucacisa iminyaka yabantu abazimisele ukushada emva kobudlelwano obufushane. Uma laba basha, noma kunalokho, intsha, cishe kungenzeka, umshado onjalo ngeke ulethe injabulo. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngethenda elincane, mhlawumbe, sonke sibheke futhi sibone ngepinki. Kubonakala kithi ukuthi uthando lokuqala luyoletha injabulo kuphela futhi ngeke kube khona okungalungile. Kodwa, eqinisweni, umphumela wobuhlobo obunjalo buphukile izinhliziyo kanye nenzondo komunye nomunye. Esemusha, umshado ubonakala ngathi into emilingo futhi enhle kakhulu. Ngemuva kwesenzakalo esinjalo, kufanele kube nenjabulo ngokuphelele nokuqonda okuhlangene. Yiqiniso, zonke izintombazane ziphupho zenjabulo nenjabulo. Kodwa, ezinyangeni eziyishumi nesithupha-nesikhombisa akaqondi ukuthi umshado ngumthwalo omkhulu, ukuyekethisa njalo nokuphila kwansuku zonke. Efuna ukungena enkulumweni yamantombazane, intombazane encane iqala ukusebenza. Yebo, udumazekile. Ngemuva kwemishado enjalo, abantu abaningi abakholelwa enjabulweni yabo isikhathi eside futhi besaba ubudlelwane obungathí sina. Lona ngumncintiswano wemishado esemncane emva kobudlelwano besikhathi esifushane. Yiqiniso, kukhona okuhlukile. Ngezinye izikhathi kukhona ukuhlakanipha kakhulu futhi hhayi iminyaka ukuqonda impilo yabashadile. Bathandana hhayi ngendlela enjengomntwana, kodwa ngendlela endala, ukuqonda yonke imithwalo yemfanelo abazithatha yona. Labafana, ngisho nangemva kobudlelwano besikhathi esifushane. bazana kahle futhi bangabhekana nokujwayela kanye nokucasula okuvame ukwenzeka ngonyaka wokuqala wokuphila komndeni.

Lapho uneminyaka engamashumi amabili kuya kwengamashumi amathathu, abantu abasasashesha ukushada. Iqiniso liwukuthi nakuba amantombazane eqhubeka ephupha, abasawuboni konke okubomvu. Bafunda ukubala imali futhi baqonde ukuthi umshado uyinto enhle kakhulu ongayithola kuphela uma usuphila. Ngakho-ke, intsha yesikhathi eside ihlala emishadweni yomphakathi, itadane futhi igcine imali yomkhosi womshado. Imibuzo mayelana nobuhlobo besikhathi esifushane nomshado kule minyaka cishe ayifuni. Intsha ibheka ukuthi ingozi ibe yisiwula futhi ayifuni ukutshala imali into engakwazi ukuwa ngokushesha.

Kodwa imishado emva kobudlelwane obambe isikhathi esifushane, namanje ukuhlangana. Futhi lokhu kwenzeka phakathi kwabantu abaneminyaka ehloniphekile kakhulu. Kungani benza lokhu futhi yini ebangela ukuba banqobe ukwesaba okwakuyiminyaka engamashumi amabili? Eqinisweni, ngokuvamile, abantu abanjalo bayashada okokuqala. Bahlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu ebuhlotsheni futhi bafunde ukuqaphela ukungazi kahle shazi. Uma, lapho sisencane kakhulu, sibona okuhle kuphela, bese siqala ukuphatha konke okungabaza ngakho-ke emva kwamashumi amathathu kakade kukhona ukuhlakanipha kokuphila. Kule minyaka yobudala, owesifazane ngokushesha uqaphele ukuthi umuntu unomuntu oqotho kangakanani. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izinto eziza kuqala zizoshintsha. Ukubukeka nesitayela kudlulela ngemuva. Okubalulekile yizici ezifana nokuthembeka, ukubekezela, ukuqina. Emva kwabantu abangamashumi amathathu abangenza okuthile, kakade bakwenze. Ngakho-ke, abesifazane akudingeki ukuqagela ukuthi lokhu okuthembisayo noma lowo muntu. Wonke amathemba alo aboniswa ngemali engenayo, umsebenzi kanye nendlela yokuphila. Ladies masinyane ukubona ukuthi kufanelekile ukuxhumana nomuntu onjalo noma ngabe uzohlala engumdwebi wamahhala okumele umuntu athole okuningi ngokuphila futhi angondli yena kuphela kodwa naye.

Uma iminyaka yabantu ingaphezu kwezingamashumi amathathu, asisadingi izinyathelo zezinkondlo. Kungenzeka ukuthi babe nendawo yokuphila, kepha abazange balethe injabulo. Ngakho-ke, isitembu epasipoti yabantu abanjalo yiqiniso eliqinisekisa uthando lwabo nothando lwabo komunye nomunye, futhi akukho lutho.

Abantu bakhona bashada ngokushesha futhi ngezizathu eziningana. Isibonelo, abantu abasha bahlola njalo imizwa yabo kanye nokucabanga, kodwa ingabe lolu thando lwangempela noma lufanelekile ukubukeka? Labo abangaphezu kwengamashumi amathathu, abafuni uthando. Badinga ukwesekwa nokuqonda okubili. Ezimbini ezinjalo, awunakubona ngeso lengqondo ukukhathazeka nokuzizwa okuphazamisayo. Ngokuphambene nalokho, amadoda nabafazi baxoxisana ngokuthula, kodwa ngokuhlonipha nangokuhlonipha. Lokhu akumangazi, ngoba isipiliyoni sokuphila sikwenza ukuba sikwazi ukugwema izingxabano eziningi, ukuthola ukuyekethisa nokwenza izinto ezimbi futhi ngaphandle kwesizathu. Ngakho-ke, lapho behlangana futhi beqaphela lokho, ngokuyisisekelo, bafanele omunye nomunye, abantu abanjalo abadonsa ukubhaliswa komshado. Ngezinye izikhathi bahlela imikhosi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi basayina bese beqala ukuhlala ndawonye. Kulokhu, iqiniso lokugqoka ezimhlophe kanye nemikhosi yabantu akusebalulekile. Imishado enjalo ingenye yezinamandla kakhulu, njengoba abantu bengacindezeli izidingo eziphezulu zezulu. Bayazisa ngempela amathuba futhi bawenze ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlangana. Imishado enjalo, ngisho nangemva kobudlelwane obude kakhulu ngaphambi komshado, ulethe injabulo.

Iqiniso, kunesigaba esisodwa sabantu. Ngokuyinhloko, laba bangabesifazane abakwazi ukushada isikhathi eside futhi bashesha ukubhalisa ubudlelwane nabo bonke abantu. Lokhu, futhi, ngeke kulinde isikhathi eside, futhi kunoma yikuphi ithuba kuzodonsa u-sucheno kubhalisi. Kodwa, imishado enjalo ayihlali injabulo njalo. Iqiniso liwukuthi abesifazane, ngokuvamile, bagxuma ukuyoshada umuntu wokuqala, bengayiqondi ngempela ukuthi ufana nobani. Ngenxa yalokho, abesifazane abanjalo bathola umshado ongajabule namadoda angathembeki, aphuza noma ahambayo. Lapha abesifazane abanjalo kufanele bacebise nganoma isiphi isimo ukuthi bangasheshi ukushada, ngoba esikhundleni senjabulo ungathola izinyembezi nobuhlungu kuphela.