Kodwa, uma kungumshado lapho owesilisa engaphansi kunowesifazane, ungabheka kanjani ubuhlobo obunjalo? Yiqiniso, okokuqala udinga ukubhuka ukuthi akekho onelungelo lokunyuka emndenini womunye umuntu bese uxoxisana okwenzekayo lapho. Kubantu, akunandaba ukuthi ubudala, asebekhulile noma abancane. Izingxoxo zalolu hlobo ziphela kulabo abahlala begrey futhi bezonda, benomona abanye injabulo futhi bazame ukuzijabulisa ngandlela-thile.
Ukugxeka umbuzo: umshado lapho owesilisa engaphansi kunowesifazane, ungakhuluma kuphela nge-psychology futhi uqondisise isimo kulesibili ngokwayo. Okokuqala, konke kuncike ekutheni umfana uncane kangakanani kunentombazane. Uma le minyaka ingakapheli iminyaka emihlanu futhi kokubili kwayizinkulungwane ezingamashumi amabili, ngakho-ke, ngokuvamile, akukho okungajwayelekile futhi, ikakhulukazi, okungenangqondo. Noma kunjalo, kunabantu abasha abaseneminyaka engamashumi amabili abanokuhlakanipha nokuhlangenwe nakho kokuphila. Bathembekile futhi banothando ngenhliziyo yabo yamantombazane futhi, kulokhu, iminyaka yobudala ayiyona inkomba.
Isimo sasihlukile uma owesifazane ekhulile kunomuntu iminyaka eyishumi noma ngaphezulu. Lapha, abesifazane kudingeka baqonde ngokucacile lokho abakufunayo kumfana wabo, futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi uyabakhathalela kanjani.
Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi emishadweni enjalo engalingani, empeleni, umuntu udlala indima yendodana. Abesifazane bathambekele ekuhlonipheni abathandekayo babo, futhi banomuzwa wokuthi banesibopho kulabo abasebancane kunabo. Yingakho, empeleni, kungase kuvele ukuthi emshadweni akakho indoda nomfazi, kodwa ingane nomama. Amadodana afana kakhulu, ngokuvamile, ayencane futhi angenangqondo. Awukwazi ukuthola umsebenzi ohloniphekile, azenzile ubuciko obungenalutho futhi acele imali. Empeleni, lokhu - u-Alfonso, okulula ukuhlala ezindlebeni zomunye umuntu. Yingakho abesifazane bengafaneleki futhi bahloniphe abathandekayo babo. Uma ebona ukuthi umfana obala akafuni ukushintsha impilo yakhe, azuze okuthile futhi akhulile ngempela, angeke akulimaze ukucabanga ngesimo. Emva kwakho konke, wonke amaphupho wesifazane, kanti labafana banobubi obukhulu kakhulu kubababa. Empeleni, lokhu akumangalisi. Ngokucophelela nangokwengxenye, umfana ujwayele ukuba yedwa "ingane" emndenini. Umfazi uzama ukumenzela konke okusemandleni akhe, azalise zonke izinkomba futhi athethelele zonke iziphambeko. Kodwa, uma ingane ivela endlini, ukugeleza okukhulu kwethenda nokukhathalela kuyodlula kuye. Futhi le mpikiswano ayiyona into emnandi kakhulu kubayeni-izinsana. Banoba nomona obala ngomntwana, basola ukungabi nabathandekayo kwabathandekayo babo, futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngokuvamile bavele bahlukanise. Iqiniso liwukuthi la madoda angase angakulungeli ukuthatha imithwalo yempilo yawo yonke. Bashada nabesifazane abakhulu kunabo ngokwabo, ukuze umuntu ahlale elungisa iphutha futhi axazulule zonke izinkinga. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umyeni onjalo angashintsha futhi aphile nje enjabulweni, kuyilapho umfazi eyokudonsa impilo yakhe kanye nelobhothi.
Futhi, kunezikhathi lapho abesifazane bekhetha amadoda amancane kunabo ngokwabo ukuba bazizwe basha, bazizwe ukunambitheka kokuphila. Eqinisweni, lokhu kuyinto ejwayelekile yokukhohlisa. Uma umuntu esemncane enhliziyweni, uzohlala enjalo nontanga yakhe. Futhi ukuzama ukujoyina impilo yentsha futhi kubonakale esemncane ngokuchitha umlingani wakhe, kubukeka sengathi kuyisiphukuphuku futhi kuyinkohliso. Ngaphezu kwalokho, insizwa ingaxoxa ngomkakhe ngamehlo futhi ihlazeke ngaye. Imishado enjalo iqhutshwa kuphela uma le nkosikazi inenzuzo eyanele yezimali, eqinisweni, eyithandayo umyeni osemusha. Uhlala ezindlebeni zakhe, kodwa hhayi ngenxa ye-infantilism, kodwa ngokubala. Umfana uqonda kahle, kungani lo wesifazane ethanda futhi ewusebenzisa nje. Angadlala futhi abonise lolo thando olungekho. Phakathi kwalaba bantu abasha kunabalingisi abanolwazi. Abafazi ngeminyaka abazi ukuthi abayeni bayashintsha, banamahloni futhi bangacabangi imizwa owesifazane abhekana nayo. Ebudlelwaneni obunjalo, yiqiniso, akukho lutho oluhle. Ngakho-ke, abesifazane badinga izikhathi eziyikhulu ukuba bacabange ngaphambi kokuba bashade nomfana osemusha, ukuze agcwalise impilo yakhe ngemibala emisha.
Amacala amabili achaziwe ngenhla cishe yizimo ezithandwayo kakhulu lapho umshado ongalingani ungalungile. Kodwa, yiqiniso, lokhu akuwona umthetho. Kwenzeka ukuthi umfana omncane angathanda ngempela owesifazane ovuthiwe. Kulokhu, umshado lapho owesilisa omncane kunowesifazane kunokwenzeka. Into esemqoka ukuthi le nkosikazi ibone ukuthi indoda yakhe isivele ikhulile isinyathelo esinzima njengomshado. Uzama ukufeza okuthile ekuphileni futhi ume ngokuqinile ezinyaweni zakhe. Noma kunjalo, ebuhlotsheni namadoda abancane kunabesifazane, kudingeka uqaphele ukungena ekuthandweni kothando. Intombazane ngayinye ithambekele ekucabangeni othandekayo wayo futhi ibone kuye okuhle kakhulu. Ungenzi lokhu. Lokhu kungaholela ekutheni owesifazane umane nje akaqapheli lokho okuyiqiniso kwelo mfana kanye nezizathu zangempela zomshado wabo. Njengoba bethi: themba, kodwa hlola. Ngakho-ke, abesifazane abavuthiwe abengeziwe abakudingi ukukhohlwa ngokuphila kwabo nokuhlakanipha, futhi basebenzise ngokusebenza. Yiqiniso, lokhu kuhle uma uthando luguqula amakhanda ethu, kodwa, noma kunjalo, akekho ofuna ukuwa ezulwini evela emhlabeni. Ngakho-ke, ngaphambi kokuvuma ngokugcwele le nsizwa enhliziyweni nasomphefumulweni, yiphathe kahle futhi uma uqonda lokho, naphezu kweminyaka yakhe, useyindoda yangempela, iseluleko kuwe futhi sithande.