Ake sizame ukuphendula lo mbuzo. Ake sicabangele okunye okungafani, ukuthi kungani amantombazane engasondeli ukuze azijwayele:
Okokuqala, intombazane ngeke ikwazi kuqala owokuqala, uma izibona ihle, inhle, inhle. Ngalesi simo kuphela, uqinisekile ukuthi angathanda isithakazelo noma ubani ngokubukeka kwakhe, kodwa akukho lutho. Angamane nje aqhube kancane ukuze amazi (ukumomotheka, ukudubula amehlo akhe, ukudlala ngothando), futhi uma kwenzeka le nsizwa ingasabele, khona-ke ukuya kuye akufanelekile, njengoba kunamadoda amaningi kakhulu alungele ukubukeka okulodwa ezinyaweni zakhe. I-logic yensimbi-kungani uchitha amandla akho kumuntu ongakunaki? Kodwa lena akuyona indlela efanele.
Okwesibili, kusungulwe emphakathini wethu ukuthi indoda kufanele ibe ngowokuqala ukubonisa isinyathelo futhi ngokungajwayelekile kakhulu amantombazane afuna ukuphula imithetho yawo ngokuziphatha kwabo. Lokhu kungenzeka ukuthi yisona sizathu esiyinhloko esenza intombazane ngokwayo ingafanelanga ukujwayela. Futhi umuntu uzosabela kanjani emzamweni wokuzijwayeza? Amanye amadoda ayesabisa nje amantombazane anjalo akwazi ukuthatha izinto ezandleni zabo. Inkolelo evamile yokuthi indoda uqobo kufanele ifune owesifazane iqiniswe ezinhliziyweni zabantu abaningi. Yingakho intombazane ebonakala ejabule futhi ejabule, esesimweni esivamile, engayikukhuphukela ephaketheni lakhe, esaba lapho ebona insizwa ayithandayo, kodwa engayitholanga isibonakaliso sokuthi uyayibona, akakwazi ukunquma ukufika kuye kuqala. Noma akunjalo? Futhi ngokuzumayo, uma engahlolisisi kahle ukuziphatha kwakhe, noma ngaphezulu, ingabe uzokwesaba? Kodwa kungase kube ukuthi insizwa engayamukeli ngokufanele lesi senzo sintombazane kanye nokudideka okwamanje i-nahamit. Vumelana, hhayi isimo esimnandi kakhulu.
Ukukhuluma ngokuziphatha.
Amanye amadoda aqonda amantombazane anjalo "amanga" akwazi ukwazi omunye nomunye njengoba afinyeleleke kalula futhi kaningi awawabheki ngokungathí sina. Futhi lena enye ingxabano enamandla kakhulu ngokumelene nomuntu onjalo.
Kukhona namantombazane anjalo abangeke aqiniseke ngokwabo, ngobuhle bawo noma ngokujwayelekile azicabange ukuthi awathandeki. Amantombazane anjalo awasondeli kumfana ukuba ajwayele ngisho nokudubula kwesibhamu, ukuze uNkulunkulu angakuvumeli ukuzihlambalaza noma ukubangela ukuhleka usulu ngabanye nento yokuzijwayeza.
Yiqiniso, kunabantu abanjalo abazethemba ngokugcwele, bazi ukuthi bakhulume ngani nokuthi yini okufanele bayithakazelise, benza ngokushesha izinqumo ezihlukahlukene futhi ngokujwayelekile bangakwazi ukuza kalula futhi bajwayelane ne-counter yokuqala. Kodwa-ke, imvelo yabesifazane iwukuthi cishe bonke abesifazane, ngaphandle kokunye, bamane nje bawahloniphe lapho bewunqobile ngamadoda aqinile, azimisele futhi anesibindi. Yingakho kaningi abafuni ukujwayele kuqala, kodwa balinde lo muntu ngokwakhe ukuba athathe lesi sinyathelo.
Futhi, nabantu abajwayele ukujwayele emgwaqweni wamantombazane, kukhona njalo ingozi yokudlwengulwa, ngoba awukwazi ukuthi ubani othanda ngempela. Ibukeka ithulile futhi ikhuluma kahle, kodwa ekugcineni ... Futhi, ngeshwa, ukwesaba okunjalo akusilo lutho. Yiqiniso, awudingi ukujwayele endaweni ethile emhlane ngemuva kokuhlwa, futhi uhlale phansi emotweni engahleliwe, ikakhulukazi uma kungekho mshayeli owodwa, kodwa ngaphezulu. Kodwa emini, futhi ekukhanyeni okukhulu, ngisho nasezindaweni ezinabantu abaningi. Ngokuvamile, amantombazane abathandekayo, aqinanga, angaliqapheli leyo ngozi.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukujwayela emgwaqweni kwakho, akulona iqiniso, akulutholi lutho, ubuhlobo buzokhula kancane kancane njalo, uma kukhona okungahambisani nawe, ungakwazi ukumane uwamise.
Ngezinye izikhathi kwenzeka uma intombazane eqiniseke ukuthi akukho okufana nalokhu okujwayelene nakho kuzophela. Kodwa-ke, cabanga, "akukho okuhle" kungaqeda ngisho nalapho uziswa kumuntu nabangani noma abazali. Kusukela kulokho, akekho omzimba, futhi lokho kungukuphila.
Futhi nakuba ukubonisa isinyathelo intombazane uqobo lapho ukujwayela indoda kusengumqondo wokuthi kunengqondo kakhulu futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho "ezithakazelisayo", kodwa kusukela esikhundleni somuntu, umuntu angasho ekugcineni: Amantombazane athandekayo athandekayo, unganqikazi, ube nesibindi futhi uzame ukwenza okuthile isimo. Kungenzeka ukuthi umfana oyithandayo uzokuzenzela yena, kodwa uma lokhu kungenzeki, ungesabi ukuthatha lesi simo ngezandla zakho ezithobile. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ukhululeke kakhulu, ungesabi ukuthi abanye bazokubona ngokungalungile, ngemuva kwakho konke, kungenzeka ukuthi manje ulwela ikusasa lakho. Ngezinye izikhathi kwanele ukumane nje uthi: "Ngingazijwayela na?", Futhi ngezinye izikhathi kuyadingeka ukuba usungula into engaphezulu. Yiqiniso, ukukhuphuka kuqala nokuqala ingxoxo, ubeka ingozi yokuhlukanisa umuntu oyithandayo, ngisho noma engekho ngaphansi kwamaphethini wokuziphatha. Kodwa lapha kufanelekile ukucabanga, kodwa udinga indoda enjalo? Futhi khumbula ukuthi ngokwemvelo umuntu uyinkosikazi ngakho-ke kaningi kaningi kunokuba afune ukuba "oyinhloko", ikakhulukazi endabeni enjengokuzijwayeza, kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi akufanele uthathe isinyathelo. Ake ucabange ukuthi lokhu owaziyo nomfana kuyinhlobo yemidlalo okudingeka uyenze. Yiba ngokwakho, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nokungazinaki ngokuqondile imithetho elamukelwe ngokuvamile. Akuzange yini uphinde umbone lo muntu ngokuzumayo. Ukungaqapheli noma ubani, ngena ngesibindi empini, uma kwenzeka ukunqotshwa kwakho, uzobe usushiywe ngaphandle kwakhe. Okuhlangenwe nakho okuzuzile, noma ngabe akuphumelelanga kakhulu, kuzobe kukusiza kuwe empilweni yamuva, okuzobe igcwele abantu abasha nabajwayele.