Abantu abavami ukufuna ukushada. Abantu bafuna ukushada kaningi. Yiqiniso, kungabesifazane. Kuvame ukuthi kwenzeke ukuthi indoda yamemela ikhofi kuphela, kanti lona wesifazane usuvele wazama ngomqondo wengubo yomshado futhi waqaphela amagama abantwana abasazayo. Lapho ubudlelwane beqala ukuthuthukisa, kubonakala sengathi lolu daba luyomshado. Futhi kanjani! Kungani-ke, wamemeza ngosuku lwesibili, wanikeza izimbali, wabonisa indawo yakhe yokulala, wahlela ubusuku bothando, waphawula ukuthi lona wesifazane ukhohliwe ukuphuma kwakhe, futhi wathi angayikhetha esikhathini esizayo? Kubonakala sengathi le ndoda inezinhloso ezijulile. Kodwa nansi inyanga noma ezimbili noma ezintathu, futhi ubudlelwano buyathuthuka cishe esifanayo. Ukwesaba kuqala ukukhuphukela kowesifazane: ingabe lo muntu uyazibandakanya ngobuhlobo nobuhlobo njengoba ayecabanga? Indlela yokuqaphela izinhloso ezinkulu zomuntu?
8 izibonakaliso ukuthi umuntu akayinto engathí sina ngobuhlobo
Isibonakaliso 1. Ukuphila kwakhe kugcwele imfihlakalo
Indoda okuthi, izinyanga ezimbili noma ezintathu, ivikela ngokucophelela leyo ngxenye yokuphila kwakhe ehlala ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho, kufanele ixwayise. Uma engathuli noma ekhuluma ngomsebenzi wakhe, abazali bakhe, izihlobo, abangane, kanye nezinkathazo ezibuhlungu mayelana nemibuzo yakho mayelana nayo, kungenzeka ukuthi akafuni ukuhlanganyela isikhala sakhe nomuntu ongeke avumele. Indoda ingathanda ukuchitha isikhathi sokuhlanganyela, ubulili, izingxoxo ezithandanayo, amathalenta okugcoba, kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi unesisusa esingathí sina.
Isibonakaliso 2. Asifaki abantu abavela kubangane abaseduze
Ebudlelwaneni nezinhlelo ezifinyelela phambili, umuntu uzama ukulibaziseka ngokuthi "abashadikazi". Ukwethula owesifazane embuthanweni wabathandekayo, ufuna ukubonisa othandekayo wakhe, ukuthola imvume kulabo abangamkhathaleli futhi abonise ukungathí sina kwezinhloso zakhe. Uma umuntu wakho engasheshi ukutshela umndeni wakhe nabangani bakho ngokuphila kwakho empilweni yakhe, nakuzo izicelo zakho ukuhlangabezana nezihlobo zakhe ngezimpendulo ngokuphakade futhi ukondla izithembiso, cabanga ngakho. Mhlawumbe uyakwenza ngoba unamahloni ngobuhlobo bakho noma unesizathu esihle sokungakhangisi lokho onakho empilweni yakhe. Kulokhu, akanaso imibono engathí sina kuwe.
Isibonakaliso 3. Akukho ukuphikelela ebuhlotsheni
Indoda engathandi futhi ayihlose ukwakha ubuhlobo obungathí sina, ivumela yena ukuba akhohlwe ukushayela, angakwazi ukuhamba ngosuku, noma, hhayi ngokuzikhethela ngokukhethekile, enganaki umhlangano nawe isikhathi sokuzijabulisa nabangani. Noma yikuphi ukukhathazeka okuphazamisa okhethiweyo wakho kuzoba okubaluleke kakhulu, kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu. Kungenzeka yini ukuba nethemba lokubambisana nokuqala nalabo abasebenzisa njengendawo yokuthutha noma "indawo yokuhamba emoyeni"? Uma umuntu ebonakala empilweni yakho kuphela uma ekhululekile, ungabambeli izinkolelo futhi ungachithi isikhathi kuye ongakunikezelwa kumuntu ofanele ngempela.
Isibonakaliso 4. Awunandaba noma ufuna ukusiza
Ukubambisana kwabantu ababili abanothando kusekelwe ekusekelaneni, usizo, ukunakekelwa. Lesi yisisekelo sokwakha umndeni ogcwele. Uma indoda yakho ethandekayo ingenasithakazelo ezinkingeni zakho zansuku zonke nezinsuku zansuku zonke, iyanyamalala uma umcela ukuba asize futhi ungasheshi ukuchitha isikhathi sakhe ekuqedeni ubunzima bakho - isibonakaliso sokunganakwa sibonakala. Umbono wakhe ucacile: kungani uchitha amandla angokomzwelo, emzimbeni nangokwenyama kumfazi ophethe "ukuhamba" noma ubudlelwane bombhede? Uma lokhu kwacaca kuwe, qeda lokhu kuxhumano okulukhuni.
Isibonakaliso 5. Sindisa kowesifazane futhi asisize ngokwezimali
Amadoda amaningi aqaphela ukubaluleka kwawo kanye nesidingo ngokusebenzisa usizo lwezinto ezibonakalayo nokuhlanganyela empilweni yowesifazane. Ngenxa yamakhono abo, bathatha umthwalo wezimali ezingxenyeni zobudlelwane. Uma indoda yakho ebuhlotsheni ithatha isikhundla lapho - "siqala ukusebenzisa imali yakho, bese kuthi wonke umuntu wethu", akanayo imali yezipho, futhi, ngokujwayelekile, uthanda ukuhlala ngezindleko zakho, ungalindeli ukuthi lokhu kungokwedlulele, nokuthi uma kukhona ubudlelwane obunzima, khona-ke uzoba nomthwalo wemali. Ngeke. Uzoba nawe uma nje unayo imali, noma aze athole enye ongayigcina ngayo ngaphezulu.
Isibonakaliso 6. Asinasithakazelo embonweni wesifazane
Bonke abantu bazibona bezimele, bengadingi imiyalelo nemiyalelo. Yiqiniso, kufanele kube njalo, ikakhulukazi ezinqumweni zesilisa kuphela. Kodwa ngisho lapha amadoda adinga ukusekelwa kanye nezeluleko ezingenakuphika, ezakhayo, nakuba igama lokugcina ligcinwe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Izinkinga zomkhaya nezomndeni, izindaba nezinkinga kufanele zihanjiswe izingxoxo ezihlangene, ngoba ubudlelwane bobabili buphila komunye. Uma umuntu ohlela naye ukudala umndeni akakaze abuze umbono wakho, azinqabe izinqumo ezibalulekile ebuhlotsheni bakho noma acindezele ngeso lengqondo noma yikuphi ukuzama ukuveza iphuzu lakho lokubuka, ungacabangi ukuhlanganisa impilo nayo. Akaboni nhlobo umbono wakho, futhi ngenxa yalokho, wena ngokwakho awumeleli inani elikhethekile.
Isibonakaliso 7. Sibonisa inqola nokubandisa emphakathini
Amadoda ahlelwe ngendlela engokwemvelo kangangokuthi angacabangi ngokucophelela ukuthi owesifazane othandekayo ube yinqaba ngandlela-thile. Lapha, bathi, bheka, yimuphi "umzingeli" ohlakaniphile engangiyikho, yikuphi ukubamba "okubaluleke" okubalulekile engikuthole kumanethiwekhi wami. Uzoveza konke okusemandleni akhe, ukukhathalela nokuhlonipha, ikakhulukazi phambi kwabantu abanombono obalulekile kuye. Uma umngane wakho ezindaweni zomphakathi ekugwema ukukubamba ngesandla, ukuncintisana noma ukuxhumana, kufanele ucabange ngalokho okungafanelekile ukukushiya. Ingabe uyakuthanda? Noma uthanda, kodwa hhayi wena, wesaba ukuvuleka? Noma mhlawumbe unamahloni ngawe nangobungane bakho, yingakho esaba ukuthi labo abakuzungezile bayokwesaba isimo sakhe sengqondo esibi kakhulu, okungekho futhi ngeke kube khona.
Isibonakaliso 8. Asenzi izinhlelo zekusasa elihlangene futhi akhulumi ngezingane
Umuntu onzima onenhloso embi akafuni ukuchitha isikhathi sakhe ebuhlotsheni obungenalutho. Ufuna ukuqonda kakade ezimeni zokuqala zobudlelwane, ukuthi uhlangana ngqo nalowo wesifazane onamanani omndeni afanayo, unesifiso sokuba nezingane kanye nekusasa elivamile. Indoda izohola ngempela izingxoxo ezinjalo ukuze zizitholele lezi zikhathi ezibalulekile. Uma umlingani wakho akuyona into akuthathi ngale ndaba, kodwa futhi ugwema kwakho ukuthatha lesi sinyathelo ukuqonda imibono, ungaqiniseka - ke noma awunasithakazelo noma akanandaba neze, ngoba ukuphila kwakhe unezinye izinhlelo.