Amadoda aziphatha kanjani emva kokuzalwa komkakhe?

Emibonweni yethu yabesifazane, amadoda angamadalwa angavamile, futhi uyazi ikakhulukazi leli qiniso ngesikhathi umuntu ehlasela umndeni wakho, ngokushintsha ngokuphelele indlela yakho yokuphila, ethatha ingxenye yengonyama yesikhathi sakho, ngakho-ke umuntu ekuphoqelela ukuba unomhawu ngokungapheli oshade naye.

Kodwa kungani amehlo akho ashisa ngenjabulo? Mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi manje unesimo esisha, kodwa asivamile ngesikhundla sakho - "Umama". Kungaba nzima kanjani ukukholisa upapa osandulé ukuthi uthando lwakho lwanele kulaba ababili, abathandekayo kakhulu kuwe.

Emva kokuvela kwengane, umndeni ubhekene nezinkinga eziningi. Phela, impilo yakho yokuphila "engenamntwana" ihlale isedlule, umama uchitha isikhathi sakhe sonke futhi unakekela ingane, futhi upapa uzama ukuthola imali ukuze indodana yakhe noma indodakazi yakhe ibe nakho konke okusemandleni. Mayelana nokuhamba okuthandayo okuqalayo kuma-movie, amathilomu, ukuphuma nabangani emvelweni kufanele kukhohliwe isikhathi esingenamkhawulo. Futhi imidlalo engathandwayo yothando ngokuzumayo iphazanyiswa yi-squealing yomntwana noma inkulumo ethi ngandlela-thile yayithande omama abaningi abasha: "Ngidlale, angikhathaleli ngempela, ngikhathele kakhulu." Ngingathanda ukuchaza ukuthi amadoda aziphatha kanjani emva kokuzalwa komkakhe? Esikhundleni sokungenani ngandlela-thile ukuphulukisa lesi simo futhi ulandise izimbali zomthandikazi wakhe othandekayo, umyeni uyazi kahle noma uyaqaphela ukuthi uqala ukuhawukela lowo osusa kakhulu, okungukuthi umntwana, noma ngabe umntwana uyamukelekile bobabili bomshado. Ngokusemthethweni, indlela indoda eziphatha ngayo ngemva kokuzalwa komkakhe, ngokuvamile iyingxenye yenkinga yokuhlukumezeka kwempi emndenini, ikakhulukazi kulawo macala lapho umfazi ngokwakhe ehlushwa kakhulu ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokubeletha.

Kunombono ophakanyisiwe wokuthi isiko sikababa sibonakala kuphela ngonyaka wesithathu wokuphila kwengane. Kodwa lo mbono ungabhekwa njengokungathandeki uma umama omncane emva kokuzalwa uzokwazi ukuthola indlela efanele ekukhuliseni ingane hhayi kuphela, kodwa umyeni wakhe.

Indlela yokufeza ukuthi umndeni uphinde ubusa ukuthula nothando?

Okokuqala, thola isibindi sokubonisa umkakho kaningi ukuthi manje akayona nje indoda kodwa futhi ubaba. Ngokuvamile kakhulu umuntu uyakwazi ukuqonda lokhu phakathi nezinyanga zokuqala emva kokuzalwa komkakhe. Amakhono okunakekelwa kwabazali kufanele athuthukiswe kancane kancane futhi athuthuke kancane kancane, kancane kancane uthola umyeni wakho uzizwe eyinhloko yomndeni, waqaphela umthwalo ophelele wemfanelo futhi waqala ukuzwa uthando olujulile ngendodana noma indodakazi yakhe.

Kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezithile, omama abaningi, njengokungathi baholelwa umqondo ongenakuqondakala wecala, bazama ukuthatha imisebenzi yabo yokubuyisela emuva, futhi nje abakwazi ukunikeza umzuzu wamahhala ngezidingo zabo. Uhlobo luni lomuntu ongazizwa njengenhloko yomndeni, uma engakaze ashintshe amathaya, engamondli umntwana ebhodleleni, engazange ageze umntwana? Awukwazi ukukhuthaza ubaba wakho ukuthi akakwazi ukwenza le misebenzi elula.

Amadoda aziphatha ngendlela efana nokuzenza sengathi ayinandaba futhi ayinelisi. Eqinisweni, bayakwazi ukubhekana nemithwalo yemfanelo yomama osemusha lapho engekho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, phawula ukuthi ngaphambili ubaba ufunda ukuthi uyedwa nomntanakhe, ekuqaleni uyazibona njengobaba, naphezu kokuthi uzokhathala ukuxhumana nomntwana okungenani kunina. Lokhu kubambisana kubaluleke kakhulu kubo bobabili: i-kid izoqala ukuqaphela uPapa ngaphambili, futhi ubaba naye uzoqonda kangcono ukuthi kungani ingane idinga ukunakekelwa kanye nothando nobaba nabomama.

Qinisekisa ukuthi ukhuluma nomngane wakho womshado ngalokho okwenza ukhathazeke. Yenza konke okusemandleni ukwenza lo muntu aqaphele ukuthi ingane ayiyona imbangi, kodwa ukuqhubeka kwakhe, igazi lakhe. Mchaze ukuthi ingane yakho ngeke ihlale ingenasici, futhi maduzane uzokwazi ukuchitha isikhathi esengeziwe ebuhlotsheni bakho.

Khumbula ukuthi amadoda emva kokuzalwa komfazi abhekana nokucindezeleka okuncane kunomama ekubelethweni. Kuye, naphezu kwakho konke, lokhu kuyisinyathelo esinqumayo, unezikhathazo ezintsha nemithwalo yemfanelo.

Ubudlelwane emndenini emva kokuzalwa ngokuqinisekile. Ukuvela kwengane akunakwenzeka kodwa kuthinte ubuhlobo bombhangqwana. Futhi ngokuvamile lezi zihlobo zishintsha kakhulu. Into esemqoka kule nkinga ukukhumbula ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi amadoda aziphatha kanjani emva kokuzalwa komkakhe, kuphela manje ongabizwa ngokuthi ungumndeni ophelele. Ingane yakho ibonisa izici zabazali bobabili. Ubaba osemncane angajabula ngamazwi: "Indlela ingane yakho ibukeka ngayo!". Uma ngabe umama uzovame ukukhomba ukufana kwengane nobaba, mhlawumbe lokhu kuzosiza lo mfundi ukuba aqaphele ingane ngokuqhubekayo.

Ngisho noma ungazange uthole umuthi omusha wesifo esingelapheki, awuzange usungula idivayisi entsha, ungasho ukuthi impilo yakho yayiphila ize uma othile kuleli zwe ekutshela "Umama".

Njengoba izazi zezengqondo ziphawula, amadoda emva kokuzalwa komfazi ngokuvamile azizwa engaphephile, futhi owesifazane, ngokuphambene nalokho, uyaziqinisa ngokweqile, athuthukise isimo sengqondo esihle ekuphileni. Umama oneminyaka yonke wabonisa owesifazane, waba nemiphumela emihle emhlabeni wakhe wangaphandle nangaphakathi.

Ososayensi osanda kuhlola baye baqinisekisa ukuthi owesifazane emva kokubeletha - ehlakaniphile. Isizathu salokhu sisezinguquko ze-hormonal ezenzeka emzimbeni womama onesihlengikazi, okugqugquzela ubuchopho. Futhi ingane ngokwayo isishukumisele ukuba siqoqwe, sihlakaniphe, sifune futhi sithole izixazululo ezihlukahlukene zezimo eziyinkimbinkimbi.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, abayeni bethu baphinde bashintshwe ngokwengqondo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi baziphathe kanjani ngokushesha ngemva kokuzalwa, ngemva kwesikhathi esifushane baqala ukuziqhenya ngoyise. Ngokomphumela wezifundo zamuva, kubonakala ukuthi amadoda nawo akhathazeke kakhulu ngokuzalwa kwengane, njengabesifazane.

Ngamanye amazwi, ukuzalwa kwengane yokuqala kuyilingo olujulile lomndeni osemusha. Futhi akekho ongaqinisekisa ukuthi uzobhekana nalolu daba ngenhlonipho, ukuthi uzokwazi ukusinda ngokumamatheka zonke izinkinga ezivele zihlobene nokuzalwa kwengane. Kodwa into eyinhloko, khumbula, kungaba yini ukuziphatha komyeni: ngokuqinisekile noma ngokungafanele, manje nje ungumndeni ophelele futhi ungenza lo mndeni ujabule ngempela.