Angikwazi ukuthethelela ukuthengisa, ukuthi ngingaphila kanjani?


Washintsha. Iphuzu. Okufanele ukwenze - ikhanda liyahamba. Angikwazi ukuthethelela ukuphinga - indlela yokuphila? .. Kanjani, ukuthi ungenzani (ukuphindiselela, okuyingxenye noma ukuthethelela), kungcono kuwe. Kule ngqungquthela, ukuhlukahluka okuhlukahlukene kokuthuthukiswa kwezehlakalo kubhekwa, futhi izazi zengqondo zomndeni ziphawula ngezihloko zabesifazane abathathu abajwayelekile.

Futhi itafula lombhede phakathi kwemibhede.

"Nganquma ukufaka isehlukaniso, lapho ngibona ukuthi uVolodya wangishintsha okwesibili ," kusho uKatya, oneminyaka engu-32. - Omunye wake wangitshela: umuntu angakwazi njalo ukunikeza ithuba lesibili, kepha akekho - owesithathu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lokhu kuvelele kangakanani, kodwa lapho lokhu kwenzeka okokuqala, sasixoxwa kakhulu. Kodwa konke kwenzeka futhi. Kungcono ukuhlala wedwa kunomuntu ongathembeki! "

"Ukuhlukaniswa kungenye yezingcindezi ezinkulu," kusho u-Anna Kashina, isazi sengqondo somkhaya. - Futhi unganquma ngesinyathelo esinjalo esinokwethenjelwa, kuphela ukulinganisa zonke izinzuzo nezingozi. Njengoba kungabonakala endabeni, uCatherine wafika lapho kungekho khona inkulumo mayelana nokuqhubeka kobudlelwane. Awu, yilokho ilungelo lakhe nokukhetha kwakhe. Into yokuqala engiyeluleka amaklayenti ami ukuvumela ukuhlambalaza. Kulula ukusinda kokubili ukuhlukumezeka nokuhlukanisa. Ngenxa yalokhu, kukhona ukuqeqeshwa okulula - cabanga ngawe. Kulo elinye. Lokhu kuyiqiniso. Ngakho-ke. Wena - into enhle kakhulu, nabangani bakho, umsebenzi kanye nezithakazelo - wahlala okufanayo! Khumbula lokhu bese nje ubuyela esimweni, hlola izisusa zomyeni wakho, imizwa yakho namathemba akho. Ungesabi ukucabanga okusebenzayo. Yenza ngendlela ozizwa ukhululekile, kulula futhi enenzuzo ngaphezulu. Ungacabangi ngaso sonke isikhathi ngalokho abanye abakushoyo. "

Isiteleka emuva.

"Nganginenkinga yokukhulelwa, futhi ngilala esibhedlela isikhathi eside. Indoda ivame ukuletha izipho, kodwa njalo endaweni ethile ngokushesha. Khona-ke angizange ngibambe iqhaza kulokhu, kodwa lapho ngifika ekhaya nomntwana, ngithole izinguquko eziningi endlini , - ukwabiwa kukaLarisa oneminyaka engu-35 ubudala. - Izitsha zihlelwe kabusha, isikhwama sami sezimonyo asicaci lutho, futhi ku-shampoo yokugezela nge-chamomile ngezinwele ezikhanyayo. Ngaphambi kwamaqiniso anjalo, umyeni wami wavuma ukuthi lapho ngingekho, wayehola amantombazane ahlukene. Ngathukuthele kakhulu futhi ngithumela isithombe sakhe kuwebhusayithi ye-gays. Kwabe sekuhlekisayo, kodwa manje izenzo zami zibonakala zingencane kimi . "

"Ngomzuzu wokuqala, wonke umuntu ufuna ukwenza okuthile ukuphindiselela. Futhi lokhu kuvamile! - kusho u-Anna Kashina. "Ukuhlambalaza ukuthi uzwa ubuhlungu futhi uqale ucabanga ngokucasula umyeni wakho noma umphikisi wakho, noma uqale ngokubi kakhulu." Kodwa, njengoba indaba kaLarisa ibonisa kahle, lokhu akuholeli kunoma yini enhle. Ukuze wenze isinqumo esibalulekile, sebenzisa iseluleko samadoda ahlakaniphile aseMpumalanga futhi ulalele ukuphefumula kwakho. Kungakapheli imizuzu emihlanu belalele ukuphefumula kwakho - ukuqonda okujwayelekile kuyobuya kuwe. Ukuphindiselela kuyindlela yokuvikela engokwemvelo, kodwa ukwaneliseka okwenziwe kulandelwa umqondo wecala. Ingabe kufanelekile ukuzitshela lokhu? "

With slate ehlanzekile.

"Lapho uPetya eqala ukuhlala isikhathi eside, ngicabanga ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle futhi wenza inhloli ," kusho u-Xenia oneminyaka engu-25 ubudala. - Into yokuqala engikhuphukela efonini yakhe futhi ngathola ngokushesha i- SMS engavamile . UVolodya othile wabhala kuye: "Ngiyakunanga." Ngabe ngithatha iphasiwedi ye-imeyili yakhe futhi ... Iqiniso lalilicace. Ukuze ngingadabuki, nganquma ukuthatha ikhefu futhi ngahlala nentombazane yami. Emasontweni amabili nganquma ukuthi ngingamthethelela uPetya ngenkani. Sekuyiminyaka emithathu manje siphila umphefumulo emphefumulweni, futhi angikhumbuli lutho ngalokhu . "

"Uma ethanda - uzokuthethelela! Kulesi sisho kukhona iqiniso elithile, - kusho u-Anna Kashina. - Uma unomuzwa wokuthi ungakwenza futhi kufanele ukwenze, ake kube njalo. Into esemqoka - ukhohlwe ngokuphinga futhi uqale konke kusuka ekuqaleni! Le okuthiwa indlela yokuthethelela inezinyathelo eziningana. Okokuqala, kukhona ukuphika iqiniso lokuhlubuka ("Lokhu ngeke kube"), bese ulaka ("Ngiyamzonda!"), Ngemuva kokuqothula ("Angikhumbuli lutho") futhi kuphela ukuqwashisa ("Yebo, kwenzeka") futhi empeleni ukuthethelelwa. Into ebaluleke kunazo zonke akumele ukuma kunoma isiphi isigaba, kodwa ukuhamba yonke indlela. Kungenjalo, uma ungakwazi ukuthethelela ukuphinga - indlela yokuphila? Intukuthelo ngeke ikunike ukuphumula (nomyeni wakho, oyedwa noma omthandayo). Abesifazane abaza kimi abanezinkinga ezifanayo, ngincoma izindlela ezimbili ezilula kakhulu. Into yokuqala okudingeka uyiqaphele ukuzitshela ukuthi "yima." Uma uqala ukuzihawukela - shintsha kwenye into. Ekugcineni, ukufunda indlela yokuphatha imizwelo yakho kuyasiza kakhulu. Yebo, into yesibili okufanele ukwenze ukuthethelela umzuzu. Kungenzeka ukuthi uzothanda inkululeko enkulu kangangokuba umzuzu uzohlala kuze kube phakade. "

I-Typology ye "abahlukumezi".

Hunter

Isiqubulo sakhe silula: abesifazane abaningi bahle futhi bahlukile! Umzingeli akwanele owesifazane oyedwa, ufisa ukuhlukahluka futhi akagcini ukwethembeka, ngisho noma ethanda umlingani wakhe ovumelekile. Akusizi ngalutho ukukhalela unembeza wakhe bese uzama ukubangela ukuzisola. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyamukele njengoba kunjalo, noma ubalekele.

Umfana ompofu

"Kwenzeka kanjalo - ngangingazi, ngangingazi ... Angikhumbuli lutho. Uhlale kahle, kahle, ngiphuza, angikwazi ukusisiza "- lezi zizathu ezivamile zomuntu onjalo. "Ngiyakuthanda, othandekayo wami!" Uzokutshela futhi abuye "ashiye." Ukuqhubeka nokuhlala nomuntu onjalo, ungakhohlwa ukuthi kuyoba nokuphuza okuningi kokuphuza empilweni yakhe. Ingabe uzokwazi "ukubamba" esikhathini esizayo?

Umyeni onesizungu

Ushadile isikhathi eside futhi ngenxa yalokho ukhathele kokubili ubuhlobo nomkakhe. Ukuhlambalaza kuyoba ngaphezulu kwenkathi yesikhathi esisodwa, kodwa okungekho okungenzeka. Kulesi simo, kungcono ukhathele, uzibeke phansi, uthenge ingubo yokuhlukumeza futhi uphinde uhlule umlingani wakho. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi ungayidluli. Ngemuva kwakho konke, othembekile wakho anganquma ukuthi uthole indawo esikhundleni sakhe. Futhi ke ngokuqinisekile uzoqala konke kanzima.

Ingane engumdala

Unomndeni, umsebenzi ohloniphekile, indlu enkulu nemoto. Kodwa lokhu akwanele. Njengomsebenzi webhizinisi ophumelelayo, unkosikazi wakhethwe nguye. Uyavumelana nalezo zimo? Yini engayiqeda ukuhlupheka kwakho? Kunoma yikuphi, zama ukugxila empilweni yakho. Yenze ibe ekhanyayo futhi igcwaliswe.

Iseluleko sochwepheshe.

Ukukhohlakala kungenye yezinkomba ezithinta kakhulu izinkinga ebuhlotsheni. Noma kunjalo, abesifazane abaningi bema esikhundleni sokuthi "bonke abantu bashintshe," futhi uzame ngazo zonke izindlela ukuze ucindezele umuzwa wokufutheka, ubuhlungu, ukudumala. Lesi simo sengqondo kumuntu othandekayo - ngezidingo ezingezansi - sibonisa ukungabi nokuzethemba. Uthethelele noma ungathetheleli ukuphinga? Ngeke kube nezincomo ezingavumelani. Kodwa kunamaphuzu ambalwa okumele uqaphele:

Kungcono ukuqala ngezizathu zobugovu: kuleso simo ungabe uzilimaza kakhulu - uma uhlukanisiwe noma ugcina ubuhlobo?

2. Ungaqondiswa yizizathu ezilandelayo: "Angisitholi muntu ongcono kunabo", "ngubani ongidinga ngo-20, 25, 30+", "lapho ngizokuthola khona ocebile kangaka."

3. Ungazibeki icala ngokukhaphela kwakhe.

4. Ungamangaleli othandekayo wakho komunye wesifazane: bathi, nguye okhohlisayo, otholile iqiniso, ophoqelelwe.

5. Awudingi ukugcina umndeni wakho ngenxa yezingane. Izingane azidingi umndeni lapho ubaba nomama bendlula khona, ungakhulumi bese uzama ukulala ngezikhathi ezahlukene.

6. Ungashintshi ngokuphindiselela, "ukuze aqonde indlela engizizwa ngayo kabi."

7. Ukukhathazeka mayelana nokukhwabanisa, zithule: kuhle ukuthi kwenzeke manje, hhayi kamuva. Ubuhlobo besikhathi eside neqembu lezingane, amafulethi kanye nezimoto kunzima kakhulu ukuqeda.

8. Ungakhohlwa ukukholwa othandweni! Awutsandanga ngokuhambisana nokubala?