Kungani ashintsha? Izizathu zokuthi ukwethembeka kungazelelwe ngokuzenzakalelayo empilweni yakho, kungaba okuningi njengoba ufuna. Lokhu akuyona neze iphutha lomuntu, kodwa bobabili abalingani.
Bathi amadoda isithembu futhi angeke azinikeze ukuphila kwabo kowesifazane oyedwa. Lokhu akulona iqiniso, kodwa kuphela inganekwane, elula kakhulu ukufakazela ukuhlukunyezwa. Kunezibonelo lapho amadoda ngaphandle kokuhlupheka ahlala khona nowesifazane oyedwa ngokuphila, ngaphandle kwesidingo sokuthanda omunye umuntu. Eqinisweni, abesifazane bashintsha okungenani, ososayensi abathile bavame ukucabanga ukuthi ngaphezulu, kodwa musa ukukhangisa.
Akulona iqiniso ukuthi ingelosi yesilisa kuthiwa ihaqwe yi-razluchnitsa embi, imphoqa ukuba ibe nobuhlobo obuseduze nobuhlobo obuseduze. Ngiyaxolisa, kodwa ingabe lo muntu omkhulu, onamandla futhi okhulile ubheka njengethole elingenalutho, wonke umuntu angashayela ngendophi? Uma umuntu enquma ukuhlubuka, kwakuyisinqumo sakhe kuphela.
Kukhona umbono wokuthi bahamba kuphela kubafazi ababi, abayisiphukuphuku, abanomhawu nabaphikisanayo. Yiqiniso, zonke lezi zimfanelo azikho ubuqotho obukhulu kakhulu, kodwa kuthiwani ngabesifazane abahle bakhohlisayo, abahlakaniphileyo, abanomusa nabanomusa? Ubuqili buvela ngezindlela ezihluke ngokuphelele.
Yiqiniso, ngeke kube umqondo omubi ukucabanga ukuthi ulahlekelwe yini umzuzwana lapho ubuhlobo bakho buqala ukuguquka, lapho izinkinga ziqala ukuphakama, futhi yimuphi iphutha lakho elingenzeka. Into eyinhloko, ukuhlaziya impilo yakho ndawonye, ungazami ukuloba ukukhwabanisa ukuthi ubhekene ne-borsch kabili noma uke ungayifaki ihembe. Kungenzeka ukuthi awuboni ukuthi bobabili behlile komunye nomunye.
Esinye sezikhathi ezibaluleke kakhulu kule nkinga sinquma ukuthi uzokwenzani ngokulandelayo. Uma ungakakulungele ukuthethelela, zama ukubuyisela ubudlelwane nokuhlangenwe nakho ndawonye, lesi sihloko asikho kuwe.
Yini okumelwe ukwenze?
Ukusabela kokuqala ezindabeni zokungathembeki komngane womshado kuyoba yiqiniso, ukufutheka nokuthukuthela. Umfazi ongavamile angavimbela imizwelo yakhe futhi angaphonsa inhlamba. Ama-scandal ahloniphekile futhi aqhubhise ibanga elingaphezu kwamanye omunye.
Awudingi, futhi akufanele uthule. Ngaphandle kwalokho, usitshele ngokuqinile ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, kodwa ngaphandle kokuhlambalaza nokukhathazeka ngokweqile. Oshade naye kufanele azi ukuthi isenzo sakhe sikubangele ubuhlungu futhi kufanele sithwale umthwalo wawo.
Kubalulekile ukungahlambalazi, kepha nje ukukhuluma amaqiniso, ngoba ukuhlambalaza kungabangela ukuphikisa kanye nokungafuni ukuxhumana.
Isisusa sesibili ngokuvamile sifisa ukuhawukela nokuphindiselela razluchnitsu. Kuyafaneleka ukugwema kulokhu. Uzovela ekukhanyeni okungathandeki kuwo wonke umuntu nangomngane wakhe womshado, futhi, njengoba umncintiswano uyobe eseqede upende futhi abe emehlweni omyeni wakhe isisulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuphindiselela ngeke kwenze lutho futhi ngeke kushintshe noma yini. Umsebenzi wakho ukubuyisela umyeni wakhe emndenini, kungani ukhathazeka, uma usengumuntu olahlekile?
Akudingekile ukubandakanya zonke izihlobo, abangane, ozakwabo ekuxazululeni le nkinga ebuseduze. Yiqiniso, uzobe unikezela abasondelene nabo ezinkingeni zakho, kodwa ungababuza ukuba bafundise umyeni wabo ukuba abe yiqiniso, ukukhuluma naye noma kumthelela ngenye indlela - uzokwenza izinto zibe zimbi nakakhulu. Ungathathi ilineni elingcolile ngaphandle kwendlu.
Yini okufanele uyenze?
Ezweni lanamuhla, imali eningi kakhulu, ukuze uphume kunoma yisiphi isimo esicindezelayo ngokulahlekelwa okungenani. Kungaba yinto engavamile ukungayisebenzisi.
Ikheli kumqondisi wezengqondo - kule nkathi enzima, usizo olufanelekile luvele ludingekile kuwe. Uzokwazi ukuziqonda ngokwakho, wenze izinqumo ezifanele futhi ugweme amaphutha amaningi.
Ungalinganiselwe yile nkinga kuphela. Ngokuqinisekile, ukuphila kwakho kwakungagcini kuphela kumyeni wakhe nezithakazelo zakhe. Manje unethuba elihle lokuzidela kuphela ngesikhathi esithile, ngoba ngeke kube nomthengisi ukuphikelela ukuthi uqhubeke uhlala eceleni kwakho? Hlangana nabangani, bhalisela ukudansa, ehholo lokuzivocavoca, noma yini, kodwa zama ukuchitha isikhathi sakho samahhala nezinto eziningi ozithandayo.
Isikhathi lapho izinkinga zenzeka emndenini zingasetshenziselwa ukuhambisa amandla kwenye indawo. Isibonelo, ungakhokha kakhulu ukusebenza futhi uphumelele impumelelo ethile ezosiza ukuqinisa ukuzethemba.
Yenza okuthile okujabulisayo kuwe kuphela. Vakashela i-salon, shintsha izinwele zakho, shintsha ikhabethe. Bathi ukuhlubuka yisikhathi sokushintsha okuhlukile, futhi kuyiqiniso. Shintsha, ungabuki emuva.
Zama ukulwa nomuzwa wecala, ngentukuthelo nesifiso sokuphindiselela. Le mizwelo iyingozi, yenza ukuthi uhlupheke. Ekugcineni, awuzange uhambe kancane: umsebenzi, mhlawumbe, izingane, izintombi, izinto zokuzilibazisa. Ukuphila akuzange kube yize, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubonakala kanjani.
Kungani ezobuya?
Abesilisa abavame ukushiya umndeni ngenxa yabathandi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kubonakala kanjani kithi. Isizathu sokungabikho kwalokhu ukungafuni ukulahlekelwa imali etholakalayo phakathi neminyaka nokulahlekelwa yinduduzo ejwayelekile.
Indoda ingase ibuyele emndenini, ngoba inkosikazi yakhe ayimazi kanye nawe. Uzokwazi ukwenza amaphutha, okwakulokhu usithethelelwe isikhathi eside, kodwa okuyinto enzima ukuthethelela umuntu ongaziwayo.
Ekugcineni umninimzi uzodinga ukuthi ubuhlobo bube khona, futhi amadoda ngeke abekezelele noma yikuphi ukugcina. Ngokumelene nesizinda sakho - ukuzola, ukuqiniseka, ukulungele ukuxhumana, inkosikazi ingabheka inzuzo encane.
Ngokungeziwe, uthando lokudlula nokuthanda, nokunamathiselwe okudala nokuqinile kunzima ukukhohlwa. Unethuba elihle lokubuyiselwa ubuhlobo ngisho nokubuyisela imizwa, amadoda amaningi ajabule ukulungele lokhu.
Uma uzama ukubuyisela umyeni wakhe emndenini, kubalulekile ukuzibheka wena nobuhlobo bakho kancane kusuka ngaphandle - kuzosiza ukugwema ukweqisa ekuthatheni izinqumo. Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuqiniseka ukuthi yini oyifunayo kanye nokulungele ukuthethelela oshade naye. Uma ukuziqhenya akukuvumeli ukuba uthethelele, futhi ukuhlukanisa kubonakala sengathi kuyindlela engcono kakhulu, akufanele uzame ukuqinisa umndeni wakho - cishe, akukho lutho oluzovela kulo.