Kungani kwenzeka ukuthi intombazane noma owesifazane akakwazi ukuthola umuntu ofanelekayo, nokuthi angayilungiselela kanjani impilo yakhe emva kwakho konke? Eminyakeni engaphambi kuka 25-30, ithuba lokuhlangana nomuntu ofanelekayo ngendima yomyeni wesikhathi esizayo liphakeme kakhulu. Uma, naphezu kokuthi owesifazane ufuna lokhu, akukwenzeka, umuntu kufanele aqonde izizathu. Isizathu sokuqala singamahloni alo wesifazane. Kulesi simo, kubalulekile ukuqonda izizathu zalesi shyulu, zama ukunqoba izinkimbinkimbi bese uqeqesha ukuzethemba nokuheha. Mhlawumbe owesifazane akajabuli ngokubukeka kwakhe. U-stylist nesazi sengqondo angasiza lapha. Kudingeka sizithuthukise, samukele futhi sithande ukuthi singobani. Kukhona abesifazane abanemininingwane emihle yangaphandle yemvelo, kodwa bamane abavilapha futhi abafuni ukuzinakekela ngokwabo.
Esinye isizathu esingahle - isipiliyoni esidlule esingalungile ekusebenzelaneni namadoda. Owesifazane angadumazeka ebuhlotsheni nasemadodeni emva kokuhluleka kwakhe okuhlangenwe nakho. Owesifazane onesizungu angahlela kanjani ukuphila kwakhe siqu? Kulesi simo, kubalulekile ukukholelwa ukuthi akubona bonke abantu ababi kakhulu ukuthi kudingeka nje uthole umuntu "wakho", futhi lokhu udinga ukuqhubeka ukholelwa kubantu, funa umuntu ofanele, uzame injabulo yakho.
Abesifazane, ikakhulukazi beqede umgca oneminyaka engu-30 ubudala, ngezinye izikhathi abakwazi ukuhlela impilo yomuntu siqu, njengoba beqaphela izimfuno nezicelo zamadoda. Ngaphezu kwalokho, njengoba sekushiwo kakade, amadoda amaningi asematasa ngalesi sikhathi. Kodwa lokho okukhethwa kukho kungalinganiselwe, kodwa konke kusele okufanayo. Abanye besifazane bafuna ukuhleleka, kodwa kudingeka sikhumbule ukuthi abakho abantu abahle, wonke umuntu unezinkinga zakhe, okumele kuvezwe futhi kuhlolwe njengamanye, hhayi "ngokusho kwezitini". Into esemqoka ukuqonda ukuthi uhambisana nomuntu noma cha, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi amaphutha ayo aphikisana nezimiso zakho nezimfanelo zakho.
Abanye besifazane, ngokuphambene nalokho, balungele ukuvala amehlo abo kunoma yikuphi ukungaphumeleli, uma nje bekukhona umuntu oseduze. Lokhu nakho akulungile. Ungasheshi. Yazisa ukuthi ungahambisana nalomuntu, ngokushiyeka kwakhe, imikhuba, ukuzilibazisa njalonjalo. Emva kwakho konke, ukushintsha umuntu omdala akunakwenzeka ukuba kwenzeke.
Ngokuvamile, abesifazane abangashadile abanekhanda baya esikoleni, emsebenzini, ukukhushulwa emkhakheni wezemisebenzi. Bafumana imfundo enhle, bafinyelele ezindaweni eziphakemeyo, baqiniseke, bazimele, futhi kuhle. Lapha into esemqoka ukukwazi ukunikeza isikhathi sokuphila komuntu siqu kanye nobuhlobo esimweni esimisiwe.
Kukhona abesifazane abakhetha isizungu ngokucophelela. Babenqaba ngokuphelele ubuhlobo, bazicabangela ngokwabo ngokwanele futhi bagcwaliseke. Ngesizungu esilutho, kukhona izinhlangothi ezinhle nezimbi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, owesifazane oyedwa oyedwa oyinkosikazi, angasebenzisa isikhathi sakhe samahhala njengokuthi, kuphi nanoma ubani. Akufanele aphendule kunoma ubani, ngesikhathi esifanayo angaholela ebuhlotsheni obungenakuphoqelela. Akalithwalwanga ukuphila kwansuku zonke, isibonelo, ufuna ukulungiselela ukudla, akafuni - akapheki. Owesifazane onjalo anganikela isikhathi esiningi kumthandekayo wakhe. Kodwa kukhona futhi ukungalungi. Isibonelo, owesifazane kumele ahlangane futhi axazulule izinkinga zokuphila eziseduze. Kukhona-ke, abangane, kodwa banomphefumulo wabo, futhi yonke imithwalo yezinkinga zabo kuzo ngandlela-thile kuyinkimbinkimbi yokufaka. Kuyathokozisa uma kukhona ukusekelwa okunokwethenjelwa eduze kwakho, umuntu oseduze oyosiza futhi asekele kokubili ukudabuka nenjabulo. Ekugcineni, kuhle ukuthanda nokuthandwa.
Inkinga yesizungu ingaxazululwa, into eyinhloko akufanele ilahlekelwe inhliziyo futhi ikholwe empumelelweni. Abaningi basiza abangani ukuba bahlangabezane nomphefumulo womshado nabangane, ikakhulukazi abashadile nabashadile, kanye nezihlobo. Ungakwazi ukuhlangana nomuntu ofanelekayo uma ungahlali ekhaya, futhi usebenzise isikhathi sokuzilibazisa ezindaweni eziningi lapho ungamazi ngempela lo muntu. Emva kwakho konke, manje awuvamile ukuhlangana nombhangqwana ohlangane nomgwaqo.
Owesifazane onesizungu angahlela kanjani ukuphila kwakhe siqu? Namuhla, abaningi bazama ukuthola umuntu, ukwazi i-Internet, ezinye ziphumelela kakhulu. Kunezinhlangano eziningi zomshado ezinikezela ngamasevisi wokudlala, izindawo ezihlukahlukene zokuphola nokunye okunjalo. Izinsiza ezinjalo zinikeza wena ukusetha yonke imingcele edingekayo: yobudala, ukuphakama, isisindo, izithakazelo, injongo yokuzijwayeza njalonjalo. Kukhona abantu abanelisekile ngokwanele kuyi-intanethi, kodwa uma uhlangana futhi uxhumana, udinga ukulandela imithetho ethile. Cabanga ukuthi uma ukhuluma nge-intanethi, isithombe somuntu omele naye nomuntu wangempela singase sihluke kakhulu. Phela, lapho ukukhulumisana nomuntu kuveza ukukhanya okukhulu, kuyilapho kunjalo, uzama ukufihla amaphutha. Ngakho ungayeki ngokuphelele umuntu oxhumana naye kwinethiwekhi, ukuze empilweni yangempela ngeke udumale.
Ngokwabo lapho bekhuluma nge-Intanethi ngenhloso yokuphola futhi ubudlelwane obuningi abuzenzisi umuntu ongekho, ungafaki isithombe somunye umuntu. Ukukhulumisana, ukuhlakanipha, ukufunda nokubhala, zama ukwenza i-interlocutor ezithakazelisayo, ubhale ngokuyinhloko, ungasebenzisi imishwana ye-hackneyed, ukwazi ukushaya umuntu ngomqondo omuhle wezwi. Ungalweli masinyane, cishe ngosuku olulandelayo ukuhlangabezana, ukukhulumisana okuningi nendoda, ukuthola okungcono futhi uqonde, nokuthi ngabe kufanele yini ukuhlangana naye.
Uma ngemuva kwesikhathi esithile uhlangane, ungazami ukuzenza umuntu ongekho, ungazami ukuba ngokwakho, ngoba isifiso sokuqamba maduzane sizoyeka, futhi ngeke kube ngcono kunoma ubani.
Owesifazane onesizungu angahlela kanjani ukuphila kwakhe siqu? Nomaphi lapho unquma ukuthola umlingani womphefumulo wakho, ungayeki uma ungawutholanga ngokushesha. Kholelwa ukuthi uzohlangana nomthandekayo wakho futhi wakhe ukuphila okujabulisayo naye.