Omunye wesifazane ongashadile wazibuza yena umbuzo othi "Ungakhetha kanjani indoda ngomshado ophumelelayo?" Ngesikhathi esifanayo, hlalani nale ndoda zonke izinsuku zakhe. Ukuthuthukiswa okunjalo kwezenzakalo kwabikezelwa kithi ebuntwaneni, sibeka lo mgomo, kodwa ngesizathu esithile akunakwenzeka ukuba wonke umuntu afinyelele lo mgomo. Kodwa abaningi abakaze bacabange ukuthi ukuthuthukiswa okuqhubekayo kobudlelwane obunzima ne "prince" wakhe kungacaciswa ngisho nasekuqaleni kokuqala kobudlelwane.
Yini okufanele ngiyibheke lapho ngimkhetha umuntu ngomshado ophumelelayo?
- Qala ngombuzo ngokwakho - kungani udinga umyeni? Ukuze ube nomndeni futhi unakekele? Ukubeletha nokukhuphula ingane? Noma unomngane onokwethenjelwa nomlingani othembekile eduze nawe? Ngakho-ke ukuthi othile endlini angalenga ishalofu noma alungise iphampu? Futhi mhlawumbe, ekugcineni, ukuhamba nomsebenzi ongathandeki futhi ubambelele ehlombe lomuntu onamandla? Kuye ngokuthi yini oyifunayo, isithombe somuntu oyidingayo, esizokwanelisa izifiso zakho, sizokwakhiwa. Ukusebenzisa izimpendulo zakho emibuzweni enjalo, phosa isithombe sengqondo somuntu wamaphupho akho. Ungakhohlwa ukukhombisa izici zayo eziyinhloko, ezihlukile.
- Kukhona into oyithandayo kakhulu emadodeni - wengezela uhlu oluyinhloko lomlingani wakho ozayo nalolu hlobo. Futhi izimfanelo hhayi kuphela izici zayo zengqondo, kodwa futhi nezidingo ekubukeni kwayo, isimo senhlalo, imvelaphi, umsebenzi nokuzilibazisa. Qinisekisa ukubhala phansi! Ukwakhiwa kwemicabango ephepheni kuzokukusindisa ekuphindaphindiwe futhi kuzokwenza kucace ukuthi yiliphi uhlobo lomuntu oyidingayo, noma ngabe wazi kahle ukuthi uthandana ubude, amadoda anamehlo aluhlaza obunqunu. Uma kunzima ukuzicabangela ukuthi iziphi izifiso zakho, kuyoba nzima ukuthola ukuthi ungumuntu onjani, umlingani wakho empilweni, ongathanda ukuxhumanisa impilo yakhe yonke ongathanda ukuhamba nayo yonke injabulo nezinsizi.
Ukurekhoda kushidi kuzokusiza ukuthi ubone ukuphikisana okuthile. Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi amantombazane anikeze umuntu onamandla, onamandla futhi onamandla, kuyilapho kufanele abe nomphefumulo ozwelayo nomlingiswa ovelele. Kodwa-ke, izakhiwo eziningi ezingokwengqondo azihambisani nomuntu oyedwa, ngakho-ke kuyadingeka ukunquma ukuthi iyiphi imfanelo ezoba yinto yakho eyinhloko, edingekayo ngezinhloso zakho, nokuthi yini engasayinakwa.
- Ngakho, ukhethe isithombe somuntu omshado wakhe, ocabanga ukuthi, uzophumelela. Isikhathi sokucabanga ngokuthi iphi, "yiziphi" izindawo zokuhlala "ezingatholakala. Ukuqeqeshwa kwebhizinisi? Umphakathi wabathandi befilimu? I-Fitness club? Kuzakhamuzi zama-rally noma ama-paratroopers? Uma usuzimisele isigaba sezenzo ngokwakho, qala ukudala izimo zokumazi kahle nomuntu oye wachaza.
- Uthole ukhetho? Bheka eduze, noma ngabe uyindoda ehambisana ne-portrait yakho ehlanganisiwe - akudingekile nokho ukuthi uzosondelana. Ngempela, kubalulekile ukuhlanganisa amazinga akho: ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo, imikhuba kanye nezinhlamvu zokukhahlela, izindinganiso zokuziphatha kanye nezinjongo zokuphila.
- Ekuqaleni kokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane, imibhangqwana eminingi imane ingaboni "ezinye izinto" ezingaboni ngaso leso sikhathi, ezingase zibe yinkinga enkulu nezinkinga ezingavumelaniyo, ezigeleza ezimpini. Ngakho-ke, kuneluleka ukuba ucabange ngokucophelela uma kukhona ukungabaza ezinyathelweni zokuqala zokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwane. Hlaziya: ingabe ozobhalwayo uhluleka ukudlulisa "isheke somkhwalithi" noma awuzizwa uphila naye, kuvumelaniswe ngokuphelele? Thatha isikhathi sakho ngokukhetha, guqula ingqondo yakho.
- Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukhethe indoda efanele kumshado ophumelelayo, ungathola ngokuvakashela umndeni wakhe. Uzobona ukuthi ubuhlobo buyakhiwa kanjani ngokuphathelene namadoda, abafana. Yeka ukuthi ubulili obuqinile bungabesifazane, odade namadodakazi. Ubheka ngokuqondile ikusasa lomndeni wakho ngokubheka umndeni wakhe. Phila ndawonye - hlaziya impilo yomndeni, kodwa ungalibali ukuphetha komshado osemthethweni. Uma-ke, umgomo wakho awuyona umshado.
Ziqaphele, qaphela.
Futhi ungakhohlwa mayelana nentuthuko yakho. Gcina umzimba unesimo esihle, ubheke kahle, futhi uhlale uhlala emoyeni othokozayo, thanda ukuphila! Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uthando luyabukeka, imikhuba engabhubhisa nokugqwala, "udle" imizwa yakho. Thuthukisa njalo, uthuthukise, ungaphelelwa yithakazelo empilweni futhi uzame ukujabulisa omunye nomunye - yilokho okuhambisana nemigomo yakho kanye nemizwa yakho kuzosiza ukugcina intshisekelo nokuhloniphana komunye nomunye. Ngakho wandisa impilo yomndeni wakho.