Njengomkhuba wokubonisa, obaba abaningi manje abajabulayo, isikhathi eside abakwazanga ukunquma ngesinyathelo esiyisisekelo. Qiniseka ukuthi indoda ethandekayo ukukhulelwa kwengane inzima kakhulu, kepha indlela yokukholisa indoda ukuba ugcine ukukhulelwa iba yinkinga enzima kakhulu kowesifazane, ngoba ukukhipha ingane kanye, awusakwazi ukwazi injabulo yobubele.
Ngokwezengqondo zengqondo, amadoda amaningi asekuqaleni kokuphila, akukho lutho olwesabekayo, njengamahhashi omshado kaMendelssohn nomqulu omhlophe onomnsalo obomvu noma obomvu emngceleni wesikole sokubeletha. Abameli abanesibindi noma abanomthwalo wemfanelo wobulili obunamandla, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, perebaryvayut ngokwabo, bashade futhi babe nabantwana. Kodwa-ke baba ngabayeni nabathandekayo abanothando, kubalulekile ukuthi lo muntu ngokwakhe eze kulokhu, nakuba owesifazane angamsiza kulokhu engaboni. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuphoqa umyeni wakhe ukuba ahlale ekhulelwe, udinga ukuthola ukuthi yini eyimvimbela ekwenzeni isinqumo esifanele.
Lo mbuzo empeleni unzima kakhulu futhi uyifinyelela kufanele ube ngamabomu futhi ungabi nongqondo. Ekuboneni kokuqala, ukungafuni komuntu ukuba nezingane kulele ekungathandi kwakhe ukunakekela ingane futhi angalali ebusuku. Kodwa empeleni, lokhu akuyona ukwesaba okulula kokushintsha, indlela evamile yokuphila, kodwa into engathà sina.
Ngokuvamile amadoda ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwamazibulo abesaba kakhulu umbono wokuthi ebuhlotsheni nomfazi othandekayo othile uyophazamisa, ngisho noma kungumntwana wabo.
Amadoda ayesaba ukuthi umfazi wakhe okhangayo, omnenekazi wesifazane okhulelwe uyoba amanoni, alahlekelwa ubuhle bakhe futhi abe nomdlalo omuhle, ngaleyo ndlela aphenduke eqenjini elizenzekelayo elingaphansi kwejazi eligqoke.
Ukwehlisa indoda yakhe ukuba ishiye ingane iba nzima ngoba wesaba ukuthi uma owesifazane eba umama, uzolahlekelwa yinoma yisiphi isithakazelo ebuhlotsheni bokuhlukunyezwa kwangaphambili. Futhi-ke, akukho muntu ongathandi ukulahlekelwa isithakazelo kwezocansi nomkakhe othandekayo.
Amadoda ayesaba nokuvela kwengane ngenxa yokuthi umfazi othanda ukuthanda futhi onakekelayo uyoba mncane kakhulu ukuba amnake. Bayesaba nomuzwa wokuthi awunamsebenzi ku-union indissoluble of "umama nengane".
Futhi uma kungekho imali?
Esinye sezizathu ezizwakalayo ukuthi kungani indoda ingavumeli umkakhe ukuba ahlale ekhulelwe isimo sezezimali esizobunzima kakhulu, lapho kuzalwa khona. Ngaphambi kokukhulelwa, ukukhwabanisa kwakuncane kakhulu, futhi inkokhelo yomibili yabesilisa nabesifazane. Ngemuva komcimbi obalulekile, ukuhlinzekwa kwenhlalakahle yempilo yomndeni kuhlala emahlombe omyeni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, akusona imfihlo ukuthi esikhathini sethu kunzima ukusekela ingane.
Kuyini isono ukufihla, ngokuvamile ukumesaba komuntu kulungile. Kubonakala kubonakala kuqala ukuthi owesifazane wesifazane angabhekana kalula nakho konke, kodwa empeleni kuwumsebenzi omkhulu. Ngokuvamile, ngubani ovela kwabamele abathintekayo abangakwazi ukukwenza izinto eziningana ngesikhathi esisodwa: ukwenza umsebenzi wesikole - ukupheka, ukugeza, ukuhlanza, ukuqapha ukubukeka nokunikeza isikhathi esingakanani sokukhululeka kwengane, futhi sisasebenza. Umthwalo onjalo omkhulu ungama eyodwa kuphela, noma ubuyela kumhlengikazi oqashiwe ukuze uthole usizo.
Kodwa uma ufuna ukubeletha ingane, bese uthatha lesi simo ngezandla zakho, futhi uqondiswe iseluleko sethu, zama ukuphoqa umyeni wakho ukuba agcine ukukhulelwa.
Indoda ayikwazi ukunqoba ukwesaba kwayo, idinga usizo, owesifazane udinga ukukhuluma ngokujulile naye. Esimweni esinjalo, njengoba inkokhelo yendoda yokugcina ukukhulelwa, ayikho indawo yokulala. Awukwazi ukuqinisekisa ikusasa likapapa ukuthi ungowesifazane ongu-super ozobhekana naso ngaphandle kokucindezeleka kancane ngakho konke okungenhla. Lesi sikhundla sivame ukulahlekelwa. Ngoba uma ekholelwa izinkolelo zakho, iqiniso livame ukungenakwenzeka, ukudumazeka kwakhe okungadala kungabangela ingxabano enkulu kakhulu emndenini wakho.
Isenzo esengqondo kakhulu nesilungile nje ukutshela othandekayo wakho umbono wakho wenkinga. Indoda iyavuma ukusindisa ukukhulelwa kuphela uma ikholelwa ukuthi ingane noma ngeke ibe "okwesithathu okungeziwe". Akuyona into engafanele ukukhumbuza umyeni wakhe wothando lwakhe. Chaza ukuthi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ubelethe ingane yakhe.
Sitshele ukuthi awuhlezi isidleke sesikhukhula sekhanda kanye nekhilogram eyengeziwe yekhulu leminyaka elilandelayo. Ngoba kubalulekile ukuba ube mnandi kakhulu futhi omuhle emehlweni omyeni wakho othandekayo. Ukuphikisana okunzima kuyonikezwa yisibonelo sabesifazane abathi, ngemva kokubeletha, baba ngabafazi futhi bekhangayo.
Kuzophumelela futhi ukutshela, ukuthi ubulili besifazane buvezwe ngesilinganiso esigcwele ngemuva kokuzalwa kwengane. Kukhona kungenzeka ukuthi kusukela emlonyeni wakho indoda ayikwazi ukukholelwa, bese ufaka endaweni evelele kunazo zonke umagazini onendaba ekhanyisa lesi sici somzimba wesifazane. Ngemva kokukufunda, umyeni uzokwenza iziphetho ezifanele.
Izazi zengqondo aziphakamisi ukusebenzisa imishwana phakathi nale ngxoxo:
"Ungumuntu ongenathemba";
"Awuthandi nhlobo";
"Ucabanga ukuthi ngubani ozosisiza ekugugeni kwethu? ".
Ochwepheshe bathi izimpikiswano ezinjalo ngeke zilethe owesifazane ukunqoba, ngisho nendoda enkulu evuthayo.
Ungakwazi futhi, ngokuqinisekile ithoni ezolile, cela umyeni wakho imibuzo embalwa, lokhu kuzomsiza ukuba aqonde imizwelo yakhe nemizwa yakhe.
Isibonelo, cela umbuzo oqondile: "Ingabe ufuna izingane manje noma ngezikhathi ezithile? ".
Kodwa kunengqondo ukubuza imibuzo eminingana ethile ezosiza indoda ukuba iqonde imizwelo yakhe nokwesaba. Isibonelo, mbuze umbuzo oqondile: "Awufuni yini ukuba nezingane njengamanje, noma ungalokothi ube nesimiso? ". Uma uphendula ukuthi izingane aziyona ingxenye yecebo lakhe lokuphila, zibuze: "Ingabe uyazinikela ngokulandisa ngalokho okukuvimbela injabulo yokuba ngumama?" "Imibuzo enjalo iyakhathazeka kakhulu ngengqondo yesilisa, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nokumsiza ukuba ashintshe isinqumo. Kodwa-ke, uma ungaqondi ukuthi kungani umyeni wakho ephikisana nokuzalwa kwengane, zama ukuxhumana nomqondo wezengqondo zomndeni.