Ngakho, uba kanjani ophumelelayo lucky enhle eqinisweni? Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukukhombisa okuthile okwakhe, ngokuvamile okwesifazane ekuziphatheni kwayo. Khumbula ukuthi ubuhle bentombazane enhle nephumelelayo, ngekhono lakhe, lihluke kakhulu kwamanye amantombazane. Ngisho noma kungakhathaliseki ukuthi mangaki amantombazane edolobheni agqoka i-T-shirt efanayo, i jeans noma yekhanda njengawe. Into esemqoka izovela esixukwini futhi ibe yinto ekhethekile. Nazi imithetho emihlanu eyinhloko ezokusiza ukuba uphumelele hhayi kuphela, kodwa into ebaluleke kakhulu ukufeza isihawu esivela kubantu besilisa.
1. Yini ebaluleke kakhulu futhi ekhangayo intombazane? Yini evame ukwenza inhliziyo yomuntu ibambe kanzima bese ikuphonsa emva kwamehlo okubonga? Yebo, lokhu kubukeka. Kodwa lapha, njengento encane, singakwazi ukuvula ngokuphephile: izingubo zakho, isibalo, isifuba, isikhumba, izinqulu, imilenze, izinwele, ukwakheka, umbala wezinwele ngisho nokuhamba kwakho nokunyakaza kwakho. Okokuqala, kufanele ubeke lokhu ngobuciko njalo bese uyithumela. Nakhu, isiqinisekiso esiyinhloko sokuphumelela ne-credo yentombazane enhle. Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi uhlale ubheka ukubukeka kwakho, izinto ezintsha zakamuva emhlabeni wezethembiso, zezinwele kanye nokwenza izimonyo. Khumbula, ukuze ujabule, kufanele uhlale ufana "nezinaliti."
Esimweni sesibili, udinga ukucabanga "ngesimo" sakho emphakathini. Uzobuza, lokho kusho ukuthini ngempela? Impendulo yethu ilula: babe nabangani abaningi ngangokunokwenzeka, bakhombise ukuthi uphathwa kahle ngabantu bonke abakuzungezile (osebenza nabo, othisha nabo kanye nabangane abafanayo nalabo obaziyo). Ukuze wenze lokhu, udinga ukuba ube yi-begetter nomphefumulo kunoma yimuphi inkampani. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungaphumelela eminye imisebenzi ethile (imidlalo, ukudansa, ukucula, ukudlala isiginci nokuningi). "Khuphukela esikhwameni senkazimulo" kunoma yikuphi okuzijabulisa kwakho okuthandayo. Ngendlela, khumbula ukuthi ungadlala "isimo" sakho emphakathini njengoba uthanda, into eyinhloko ukuthi konke kufanele kube ngaphakathi kwemingcele kanye nemingcele yokuvumela. Lapha futhi, kubalulekile ukuzibonakalisa ngendlela efanele futhi kahle. Kodwa qaphela kakhulu, ngoba lokhu kuyisiqalo esiphezulu sempilo yakho. Ngakho-ke, akufanele neze uzikhawulele kulokhu, uma kungenjalo uzovele udumazeke futhi ulahlekelwe yizo zonke izintshisekelo. Ikakhulukazi lokhu kusebenza kumantombazane azokucabangela intombazane eyayiziqhamukayo eyakhela kuye kakhulu kunokuba yona imele yona.
3. Kodwa okwesithathu, ake sithole ukuthi yini okufanele ifihliwe ngemuva kocingo okuthiwa "isimo" sakho. Kodwa lapha kufanele usuvele uqale isiqalo sakho semvelo. Ngamanye amazwi, kuyimvelo yakho yothando, isifiso sokusiza bonke abanye ngesikhathi esibucayi, ikhono lakho lokuba mnene, elingenakuzivikela, obuthakathaka futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo wesifazane oqinile ngokomoya. Khumbula ukuthi lezi zimfanelo zinikezwe yizocansi ezibuthakathaka, imvelo futhi akufanele sibenqabe noma sizigweme. Kodwa wazi ukuthi akunakwenzeka nokuba uphile ngokuphakade, ukuthembela kulezi "tricks" kuphela. Kumele futhi usebenzise kahle ikhono lokuzama nezimfanelo zamadoda. Yilokho, uma kufanele ube namandla, uqine futhi uzimisele. Kule ndaba ukuthi uzokwazi ukuphumelela kukho konke, ngenxa yokungathathi, kuhlanganise nokuphila kwakho.
4. Hlala uhlakaniphile, kuye ngokuthi isimo sakho siphila, uzame wena. Ungalokothi uzame ukuba mnandi kakhulu kuwo wonke umuntu. Uma uhlala uvumelana, unomusa, uzobona ukuthi u "dummy". Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi emadodeni abuye ahlanganise nakho konke, azobona ukuthi utholakale kakhulu futhi "kulula" kakhulu, ngakho-ke akuyona umuntu othakazelisayo. Ngakho-ke ngezinye izikhathi uzama ukuba nesibindi futhi ugobe, ube nenselelo kumuntu. Kholwa, lapha ngokuqinisekile uzothola inhlonipho kusuka engxenyeni yesilisa yemvelo yakho. Khumbula ukuthi umuntu ophikisanayo uthakazelisa kakhulu kunokuthobela futhi kalula. Ngendlela, ungakhohlwa ukuthi usebenza. Zama njalo, njengokungathi ngokwengqondo ukubikezela inkambo yanoma imiphi imicimbi, ungalindeli ukuthi uzoletha "injabulo esitsheni sesiliva". Njalo ulwe kuze kube sekupheleni futhi uma wazi ukuthi kungokwakho, iya endaweni ephumelelayo. Ungesabi ukuncintisana nabanye. Lokhu ngokuqinisekile kuzokunika amandla nokusiza ukuba uphumelele futhi ungaguquki kunoma yisiphi isimo.
5. Futhi umthetho wokugcina wezinhlanu uzoba njalo udingekile ukuba ungaqapheli. Ngokuvamile le ndlela yokuziphatha isebenza namadoda. Bahlale bekholelwa ukuthi bangakwazi ukubikezela kalula ukuziphatha kowesifazane. Okokuqala, bacabanga ukuthi uma bamukele umfazi kumuntu wabo, bangakwazi kalula futhi benze okufunayo. Ngakho-ke, yeka ukuhlala nje njengowesifazane. Ungakwazi ukuphikisana ngesikhathi esilungile nesingalindelekile. Futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, zama njalo ukwenza izinto ngendlela yakho noma njengoba umphefumulo wakho ukutshela. Khumbula ukuthi ukungalindeleki kwabesifazane akuphindaphindi, futhi ngokuphambene nalokho, akudonsi nje kuphela amadoda angokoqobo anempahla enkulu yamagnetic, kodwa emva kwabo impumelelo nokukwazi ukujabula.
Ngakho sihlola imithetho eyisisekelo, ubuhle, impumelelo, inhlanhla nenjabulo kuzo zonke izintombi. Manje, sicabanga ukuthi wena, ngokuzibuka, uzokwazi ukujabula ngempela, futhi uphumelele kukho konke, ukungathathi. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthola injabulo ekuphileni kwakho komuntu siqu. Phela, kuvela kuye ukuthi ingxenye enkulu yenhlalakahle yanoma iyiphi intombazane incike.
Futhi njengesiphetho ngifuna ukusho, kuyindaba nje yokufunda ukuheha impumelelo nenjabulo, ukuyibamba ngezandla zombili. Khumbula ukuthi ngaphansi kwamanzi angamatshe angasese ageleza. Ngakho yenza futhi uzithuthukise ngokwakho, impilo yakho, imibono yakho kuwo nokubukeka kwakho. Inhlanhla kuwe!