Kodwa, ngeshwa, ungavame ukuhlangana empilweni yakho ebuhlotsheni bentsha, ukuthi umuntu uyayithanda eyodwa. Uma intombazane ithanda, kodwa umfana ayithandi, uzothola isizathu sokushiya umngane wakhe. Futhi uma umfana ethanda, futhi intombazane ingamthandi, kodwa ivele isebenzise ukuzuza komuntu siqu noma ngokwayo, ngakho-ke kuleso simo, ukungenelela kwamanye amaqembu kuyadingeka. Indlela yokukholisa umfana ukuba ahlukane nentombi yakhe?
1.Qondanisa lo mfana ukunaka izingcingo zomngani wakhe, ukuthi uphendula kanjani efonini kwabanye abantu nokuthi uphendula kanjani izingcingo zakhe. Uma ephendula ngenjabulo yakhe futhi ekulungele ukukhuluma isikhathi eside, ukuyeka ezinye izinto ezibalulekile - uyakuthanda, akaphenduli noma uphendula ngokusheshisa, ngaphandle kokubiza igama lakhe nhlobo - akenzi. Lokhu kuqinisekisa.
2.Ifoni ayiwumthombo wolwazi olukhulu kuphela, kodwa nolwazi olubaluleke kakhulu. Yeluleka umfana ukuthi abone amakholi angenayo naphumayo, imiyalezo ye-SMS, okuningi kuzosuswa ngokushesha, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ngabe intombi ithanda umfana. Inani lemiyalezo ye-SMS namakholi aqondiswe kwabanye abantu abasha bangafakazela okuningi. Lokhu nakho kuqinisekisa.
3. Ungakutshela ukuthi ufunde amakhasi akhe kukhomputha, umngane wakho ehlala naye. Uma umbuthano wokukhulumisana kwakhe kungewona amantombazane kuphela, kodwa futhi nabafana, ungacela intombazana ukuthi uhlangane kuphi nokuthi nini lapho ehlangana nalokhu noma leyo nsizwa, ukuthi ubuhlobo bayo naye. Ubuhlobo besikole noma somfundi kuyinto eyodwa, futhi ukujwayela nge-intanethi noma kwenye indawo enye, ngenkathi ubheka inkulumo ebusweni bakhe. Ngokuvamile amantombazane azinikela ngezwi eliphansi, kumamatheka uma kuziwa kubathandekayo bakhe.
4. Ukugqugquzela umfana ukuba ahlukane nentombi yakhe kubaluleke kakhulu uma uqiniseka ukuthi uyamkhohlisa, uhlangana nomunye umfana. Cabanga ngendoda ethatha izithombe zezintombi zakhe zibopha noma zibanga omunye umfana. Mtshele ukuthi bahlangana nini nokuthi kuphi. Futhi kangcono nakakhulu, ulethe umfana kule ndawo, masiqiniseke yena ngokwakhe ekuhlukumezeni kwakhe. Kulesi simo, ukuqinisekisa umfana ukuthi ayingxenye ngeke kube nzima.
5. Impendulo ekholisayo yokuthi umfana ayingxenye yentombazane kuyoba ukuyeka kwakhe ukulala naye (ikakhulukazi uma behlala emshadweni obizwa ngokuthi "umshado"), kubhekisela ezinhlobonhlobo zobuhlungu, ukukhathala, ukucasuka.
6. Uma intombazane isebenzisa umfana, kodwa ingamthandi, zonke izingxoxo zakhe nazo ziyancipha zibe yizidingo zempahla nezidingo zomzimba. Nakani lo mfana. Umfana kufanele aqiniseke ukuthi ayikho indawo yokomoya ebuhlotsheni babo, futhi ngaphandle kokuthandana okungokomoya akukho uthando. Ubudlelwano babantu abasha, ngokusekelwe kuphela kwisici, kubonakala sengathi behlukana.
7. Umfana waseRasstavanie nentombazane ngeke akwazi ukugwema uma ebuhlotsheni babo bungekho izingxenye ezimbili zomndeni wenjabulo ehambisanayo: ukusondelana okungokomoya (lokhu kufanele kube okokuqala) nokukhangwa ngokocansi. Ngokuqondene nomcebo wezinto ezibonakalayo, ukuthanda abanye abantu kuzobahlanganisa ndawonye ngesikhathi sokuphila.
Ukuphoqa umfana ukuba ahlanganyele nentombi yakhe kungenzeka kuphela uma uqiniseka ukuthi akukho ukuhlangana okungokomoya phakathi kwabantu abasha nhlobo, futhi ngaphandle kocansi umndeni ngeke kwenzeke, ngoba lokhu kungukuqala komzimba womuntu nowesifazane. Uma uqiniseka ngokuqinile ukuthi intombazane ayithandi umfana futhi ihlangane nomunye, imkhohlisa, iveza lobu buqili ngamaqiniso, hhayi nje ngezithombe ezingafakwa kwi-photoshop ye-intanethi, bese uqhubeka ucindezela umfana ukuba ahlukane nentombi yakhe.