Ngakho-ke iyiphi inkinga ukuthi indodakazi yakho ingumuntu onamahloni futhi onokuphepha? Kukhona okungenani izimpendulo ezimbili kulo mbuzo: konke kuqukethe isimo sengqondo somuntu noma ukukhuliswa kwakhe. Ngokuvamise kakhulu kuleso simo, impendulo yokuqala iyinhloko. Ukungaqiniseki ukuthi yisinye sezici ezivame kakhulu zomlingiswa womuntu. Ngendlela, iqiniso elithakazelisayo ukuthi lesi sici sifike cishe sonke, hhayi nje wonke umuntu obonisa yona. Ukungavikeleki emantombazaneni amaningi kuyindlela ekhethekile yokusebenza kwengqondo. Ukuzibonakalisa ngokwabo, lokhu kuphendukela kuqala, cishe, eneminyaka engamashumi amane nanhlanu futhi kwanda emva kweyishumi. Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi amantombazane abaneminyaka yobudala angakwazi ukuhoxiswa, hhayi ukukhuluma nesizungu ngothando. Ngaphezu kwalokho, wonke lawa mantombazane anezingane ezimbalwa kakhulu futhi isikhathi eside akakwazi ukuthola isoka. Futhi bonke ngenxa yesikhundla sabo esibalulekile ukuwela ukuvakashelwa ezindaweni ezihlukahlukene zomphakathi nezesidlangalaleni, futhi, okokuqala, kwenzeka, ngoba intombazane izwa zonke izinkinga zayo futhi isolisa kakhulu. Izinzuzo zabo abanjalo abaziboni nhlobo futhi abazi ukuthi bangabonisa kanjani, ngoba besaba ukungena esimweni esingenangqondo. Futhi konke lokhu ngenxa yokungaqiniseki okuphelele nokubona ukuhluleka okungenakugwemeka kuzo zonke izindaba kanye nokusebenza. Ukungaqiniseki ukwesaba lokho okuyoba khona. Uhlala ebhuqa ekhanda ezingeni elingenasikhathi esinqunyiwe futhi uba yi-harbinger yokuhluleka okulindelekile nokugxeka. Ngamanye amazwi, kungukuthi kunzima ukudala ukuqina kunoma yini. Ngingathini, hhayi emnandi kakhulu, uma indodakazi yakho injalo nje. Ngakho-ke, ungasiza kanjani indodakazi yakho ukuba iqiniseke ngokwengeziwe?
Ekuqaleni, kubalulekile ukukhomba izici eziyinhloko ezithonya ukungaqiniseki kwendodakazi. Esinye salezi zici kulesi simo singase sibe nomuzwa wokukhathazeka njalo. Lapha, yebo, inkinga yonke ekukhuliseni indodakazi. Ukuhlambalaza njalo, ukugxeka nokuhlambalaza okuvela kubazali ngokucacile akuwenzi lutho oluhle. Isihlamba, okokuqala, isikhumbuzo seziphambeko. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuxazulula noma yikuphi isimo ngokuthula. Ngendlela, ukunakekelwa ngokweqile nakho kuyakwazi ukukhiqiza inqwaba yabantu abangaphephile. Ngakho, konke kufanele kube ukulinganisela.
Ngokuvamile, ukusiza indodakazi ukuthola ukuzethemba akulona nzima kakhulu. Ekuqaleni, qaphela indlela oxhumana ngayo nendodakazi yakho. Zama ukuchitha naye isikhathi ngangokunokwenzeka, uxhumane ngezihloko ezihlukene bese uzama ukuphendula yonke imibuzo ebuzwa nguye. Zama ukuba umngane wengane. Ungathola ngisho nendodakazi yakho emcimbini omkhulu, lapho inani elikhulu labantu lihlangana khona. Into esemqoka ukusekela lapho futhi ungashiyi eyodwa. Khumbula, ngokuphindaphindiwe ukuthi "uphuma kubantu" nayo, amathuba amaningi ukuthi uzoqala ukuzizwa eqiniseka ngokwengeziwe esimweni esingakajwayele ngaphambili.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ufuna ukusiza intombazane ukuba iqiniseke ngokwengeziwe, akufanele neze uqhathanise ingane nezinye izingane. Ngokwesibonelo, abazali bavame ukusola izingane zabo ngokusho ukuthi intombazane engumakhelwane u-Alla igqoka njengomuntu, hhayi ukuthi unabangane abaningi, kodwa uhlezi ekhaya. Ngikholelwa, ngala mazwi ngeke uphinde uthuthukise ingane, futhi ngokuphambene nalokho, vele ingane yakho ivalwe ngokugcwele kuye. Umgomo wakho - ukukholelwa enganeni yakho kangangokuthi wazizwa futhi wenza okufanayo. Khumbula ukuthi ungakwazi ukufeza konke ngokukholwa kwakho, amakhono akho namandla.
Ngendlela, uma ucabanga ukuthi kunesidingo ukuveza indodakazi yakho-yenza yedwa ngaphandle kofakazi abangadingekile, ukuze ungamshayeli esimweni esiyinkinga.
Futhi, ukuze usize intombazane ukuba iqiniseke ngokwengeziwe kuye nasemandleni akhe, imfundise ukuvikela kahle imibono yakhe. Ukuze wenze lokhu, phikisa naye futhi umcele ukuthi amqinisekise ukuthi ulungile kuwe. Kodwa ungakhohlwa ukubuza indodakazi yakho ngemibono yakhe bese uthola izimpendulo eziyinhloko ukuthi kungani ecabanga kanjalo. Yenza kuphela lokhu kuye engxoxweni.
Zama ukufundisa intombazane ukuthi iqonde kahle amahlaya abanye, ikakhulukazi abafana. Mchaze ukuthi awudingi ukuthatha konke ngokwezwi futhi ikakhulukazi uthathe okunye okunye ekhelini lakho.
Futhi ungakhohlwa ukuthi umuntu oziqinisekisayo ungumuntu onomqondo owanele futhi ngokuqinisekile ongazitholi phansi. Memezela indodakazi yakho nsuku zonke, emi esibukweni, ukuba uzikhulume kanje: "Nginesibindi", "Ngiyaqiniseka mina", "Ngizokwazi ukuqeda konke engingayenzi" nokunye. Ukuqeqeshwa okunjalo kusiza noma yimuphi umuntu ukuba azizwe eqiniseka futhi enesibindi.
Okokugcina, cela intombazane yakho ukuthi ihlangane nabangane kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka. Bhaka into enhle futhi uvumele ukuba badle. Emva kwakho konke, abangane abangaphezulu, ukuzethemba ngokwengeziwe. Ngendlela, uma iminyaka yakho yentombazane imvumela ukuba ahlangane nabafana, kodwa akenzanga ngenxa yokunganaki kwakhe, amethule nendodana yentombi yakhe (uma kunjalo, yiqiniso). Akuyona iqiniso lokuthi kukhona okuzovela, kepha umngane omusha endodakazini wakho ngeke ahlukumeze.
Ngenxa yalokho, ngifuna ukungeza: maduze intombazane yakho izoshiya izindonga zendlu yayo iphinde ihambe ezweni elikhulu. Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzoba ngumuntu oqinile futhi onesibindi, ngokuyinhloko kuxhomeke kubazali. Yazi, ngokuqiniseka ukuthi indodakazi yakho izokwazi ukusiza kuphela ukuba ube nesineke nokukholwa kwakho kuye. Yiqiniso, konke kungenzeke ngesikhathi esisodwa, kodwa kancane kancane uzobona imiphumela emihle futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke kuyoba ukufaneleka kwakho. Inhlanhla kuwe!