Abesifazane bathanda ngezindlebe zabo - futhi lokhu kuyiqiniso eliqashelwa emhlabeni jikelele. Yingakho akufanele sithule nathi. Sifuna njalo ukuqhubeka nengxoxo, lalela ukuncoma nokunye okunye. Akubona bonke abantu abangasinika lokhu. Singaxhumana kanjani nentombazane engathuli? Ufunda kanjani ukusabela ekuthuleni kwakhe ngendlela efanele?
Abesifazane abaningi benza amaphutha amaningi kuphela ngoba abaqondi izizathu zokuthula komfana. Kubonakala kubo ukuthi le nsizwa ayithandi, ifihla into nokunye. Kodwa empeleni, konke kuhluke ngokuphelele. Manje sizoxoxa ngokuthi kungani abanye abantu bethule.
Zonke izinkinga zixazululwa yedwa
Bonke abantu abathandi ukukhuluma ngezinkinga zabo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo. Kodwa uma iningi labo lingadonsa okuthile, khona-ke abanye abantu bacabanga ukuthi izinkinga zabo akufanele zithinte noma ubani, ngakho bazama ukungabonisi engqondweni. Ngokuvamile, kubo kunzima ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani okuthile. Kodwa ngokuvamile ngezikhathi ezinjalo abantu abasha bathula kakhulu kunokujwayelekile. Uma ubona ukuthi umfana uthula, akudingeki umbuze imibuzo, futhi ngisho nangaphezulu, faka ingcindezi kuye. Abesifazane abaningi baqala ukuvela ngezihumusho zabo, ukuthuthukisa izenzakalo futhi, ngenxa yalokho, bazenze sengathi benze izicelo futhi baphonsa izinsolo ezitholakala kakhulu. Ngakho ukwenza okuthile akunjalo, ngoba ubulimaza lowo omthandayo. Akathuli ukukukhubekisa, kodwa uqala abahlaziyi bewazi ukuthi ungamthuka. Amameshi amaningi azama ukuthola abafana ukuthi batshele konke. Ngeshwa, lokhu akunakwenzeka ngokuphelele. Lolu hlobo lwamadoda alusoze lwafaka izinkinga zabo emahlombe abanye, ikakhulukazi uma lawa mahlombe amancane entombazane ethandekayo. Yingakho esikhundleni salokho ukuthi umsole ngazo zonke izono, kungcono nje ukupheka isitsha sakho ozithandayo noma uhambe naye endaweni ethile lapho ethanda khona. Ngakho-ke, ukusekela ngokugcwele insizwa, uzoyeka futhi akhohlwe izinkinga zakhe ngokushesha kakhulu.
"Ukugcoba"
Esinye isici sohlamvu lwabantu abathulile, okuyinto ecasula abesifazane - ayithandi ngalokho okubizwa ngokuthi "u-tender veal". Abazali abanjalo abathandani ukutshela uzwela oluhlukile, kodwa bangasho ukuthi "Ngiyakuthanda" kumaholide akhethekile kuphela. Yiqiniso, abesifazane abathandekayo abanakho okwanele, futhi baphinde bahlele ama-scandals futhi baqale ukufaka icala lokuhlukunyezwa ngisho nobuhlukumezi. Othandekayo besifazane, awukwazi ukwenza lokhu nganoma iyiphi indlela. Uyakuthanda, futhi kakhulu. Uma engathandanga, ngabe ngabe ushiye kakade emva kokuhlaselwa okuqala. Akawazi nje ukuthi angafuni kanjani futhi akwazi ukukhuluma ngothando. Kulula ukuthi abantu abanjalo basindise iphrinta kusuka kudrako kunokuba babhale okungenakuqondakala. Noma kunjalo, abafana abaqondi kahle ukuthi kungani bekhuluma njalo ngothando. Uma eshilo ukuthi uyayithanda, kusho kuze kube phakade. Uma kwenzeka, lapho eyeka ukuthanda, uzokwazisa ngokushesha ngakho. Uma lo mfana engasho ukuthi imizwa idlulile, khona-ke kuye kuba yimfihlakalo enkulu ukuthi kungani abesifazane besabela ngokuhlambalaza ngokuthula nokuntuleka kokuncoma. Ngemuva kwalokho, ngezinye izikhathi abantu abathulile bayabatshela, kodwa kuphela lapho ukubukeka kwakho kubangelwa khona. Futhi-ke, kungani ugijima amazwi, lapho ungabheka nje owesifazane, futhi konke kucaca. Kodwa kuphela abameleli bobulili obuhle abaqapheli njalo imibono futhi bahlole ngokufanele izenzo abafana abazenzayo kulabo abathandayo. Uma insizwa ihamba futhi ishintshe le ndlela endlini, ngoba wawungekho kahle noma uthola into ethile futhi wanikeza okuthile owaphupha njengengane, kodwa ayikwazanga ukuyikhokhela - lokhu kubonakaliswa kothando olukhulu. Futhi uma engaphenduli ngempela ekubongeni kwakho, wavele ebambe isipho ezandleni zakhe, ngendlela, khumbula ukuthi lezi zenzo zikhuluma ngothando lwakhe olukhulu nangempela. Ngakho esikhundleni sokwenza amanga futhi ukusola le nsizwa ngazo zonke izono ezilinganisiwe, ngithi ngiyabonga kuye futhi wenze okuthile okuhle kuye. Isenzo sakho sibaluleke kakhulu kunamagama amaningi.
Indlela yokukhuluma nomuntu ongathuli
Amadoda alungile lokhu futhi athule, ukuze kuzo zonke izingxoxo zikhulume inombolo encane yemisho noma amagama. Kwabesifazane, akuvunyelwe nje kuphela. Ngisheshe ngiqale ukubonakala sengathi umfana akabalaleli, ukuthi akafisi. Baqala futhi ukuhlambalaza nokuphonsa izinsolo cishe kuzo zonke izono. Nakuba empeleni abafana babengazicabangi ngisho nokuzinaki. Iqiniso liwukuthi labo abathanda ukuthula, empeleni, abalaleli abahle kakhulu. Ngokungafani nabafana abakhuluma okuningi, abagcini nje ukulalela umbhalo ukuze bakwazi ukukhuluma izwi labo. La madoda alalela futhi azwe abesifazane. Uma babuza inyanga kamuva ukuthi ingxoxo yayikhuluma ngani, khona-ke indoda enjalo cishe izokwazi ukuthola impendulo efanele. Yini ongayisho mayelana nabameleli abakhuluma ngensimu enamandla. Ngakho-ke, uma umuntu wakho ethule, akusho ukuthi "uqhuma emafwini." Uyakukulalela ngokucophelela, akanekho okushoyo noma akaboni ukuthi kuyadingeka ukufaka imibono yakhe okwamanje. Uma ummangaleli enomqondo othile ngalokho akuzwile, uzokutshela ukuthi ucabangani, weluleke njalo njalo. Kodwa uzilungiselele ukuthi imibono kanye nezeluleko zakhe zizobe zifushane kakhulu, noma zikwazi ukwenza lokho. Abesifazane abaningi bathanda ukuba "pobsasyvat" yonke imininingwane ngezikhathi eziyikhulu, beza futhi babuyisele imicimbi eyizinkulungwane. Njengoba wazi, umuntu othulile ngeke nje akwenze. Uvele engaboni umqondo wokubona kuqala izenzakalo noma ukuxoxa nabantu. Laba bantu bathi empeleni futhi abafuni ukuxoxa ngenhlebo. Ngisho noma elalela izindaba zakho ngokuphila komuntu siqu noma lo muntu, ungalindeli ukuthi le nsizwa izoqala ukuphawula ngalokhu. Ngokuvamile, abantu abanjalo abathandi ukukhuluma ngomuntu ongaziwayo noma impilo yakhe.
Ukukhuluma ngomuntu siqu
Ngendlela, into yokugcina okuyikhunjulwa yizingxoxo mayelana nomuntu siqu. Kubantu abathule kunzima kakhulu ukudweba imininingwane ethile yokuphila kwabo. Laba bafana bakholelwa ukuthi konke okwenzekile kubo, kufanele bahlale. Yiqiniso, ngezinye izikhathi bavula isembozo semfihlo esiseduze. Kodwa ukuthi abazange bakhulume, kungumaphesenti amancane kuphela. Futhi, ngale ndlela, abafana abazami ukuzibeka ekusithekeni futhi bazibophezele isithakazelo sakho. Ngokuphambene nalokho, ngokuvamile abafuni ukusebenzisa noma yiziphi izindlela zokubopha umuntu. Kuphela nje ukuthi bakholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi konke okwenzekile empilweni sekudlule. Futhi lokhu kungokwabo, okuhle nokubi. Ngakho kungani utshela othile ngalokho okwenzeka eminyakeni eyishumi edlule. Ngaphezu kwalokho, lokhu akuthinti isimo okwamanje. Ngakho-ke, uma umfana wakho engakutsheli ngothando lwakhe lokunciphisa nokulahlekelwa, cishe ukuthi unabani nabesifazane kanye ne-kakietragedii naye, akusho ukuthi uyasithembisa noma, uNkulunkulu akavumelani, awuthembi. Ngomuntu wonke unelungelo lomuntu siqu, kodwa ngenxa ye-muzhchin elungile leli lungelo alinakususwa. Ngakho-ke ungazami lutho kuye futhi ungazami ukudalula izimfihlo wena. Mhlawumbe yena uzokutshela okuthile uma ethola ukuthi udinga ngempela ukwazi lokhu. Kodwa ngisho noma engakutsheli izimfihlo zakhe, ungajabuli, ngoba okudlule akuthinti imizwa yakho kuwe.