Yiqiniso, umbuzo wokuthi ngabe "owesifazane wesifazane" uyadingeka yini kumadoda afanelekile, ngoba abesifazane bafuna ukuqonda uma kufanelekile ukushintsha. Ngakho-ke, okokuqala, ake sibone ukuthi ngubani owesifazane "ekhaya" futhi kungani. Yebo, okokuqala, akekho ozobiza owesifazane onjalo u-bitch, i-tigress, i-vamp. Owesifazane onjalo akazi ukuthi angazi kanjani nokuthi angafuni kanjani ukuziphatha ngale ndlela. Futhi, akekho oshiwo ukuthi amantombazane anjalo azi ukuthi angazinakekela kanjani, abe ngowesifazana nenhle. Indoda yowesifazane onjalo uhlale ezama ukwenza ukuphila kube mnandi futhi kukhululekile. Uyakhathazeka ngokuthi lo mfana uhlale ejabule. Futhi lokhu kubonakala kukho konke. Indoda yakhe ihlale idla ukudla okunomsoco, ihamba ngezambatho ezihlanzekile futhi zinezinsimbi futhi ingaqiniseka ukuthi njalo ilinde endlini ehlanzekile futhi ekhanyayo. Uma bekhuluma ngabesifazane abanjalo, intombazane enamashubhu kanye nokugqoke izingubo kaningi kunokuba kungenjalo, lapho ivele iphefumle futhi iduduze. Kodwa ingabe indoda idinga owesifazane onjalo? Phela, kwaziwa ukuthi abantu bathanda ukuba abazingeli, ukufuna izinqaba ezingathembeki, ukuxazulula konke ngokuzimela nangendlela yonke yokufeza inhliziyo yenkosikazi. Indoda ayifinyelele leyo ntombazane isikhathi eside. Futhi akusiyo ukuthi akazi ukuthi ufanelekile. Intombazane enjalo "ekhaya" iyakwazi ukubona okuhle kubantu abathanda kuye, futhi ubathethelele amaphutha amaningi. Ngokungafani "nabangqongqozi" abaqabulayo futhi bagijimela ngaphandle nangaphandle kwesizathu, intombazane "yasekhaya" izama ukuqonda ukuthi kungani umfana enza lokho, ukhulume naye, uthole ukulinganisa noma uvumeleke emehlweni abo. Kodwa, ingabe ukuhlolwa okunjalo kwezenzo kuyadingeka kumuntu?
Ngaphezu kwalokho, la maantombazane angasiza njalo umuntu ukuxazulula izinkinga. Abadingi isisusa esikhethekile salokhu. Bathanda futhi bakholelwa ukuthi kubalulekile ukusekela njalo nokusiza labo abathandekayo kuwe. Kodwa, ngezinye izikhathi, amadoda aqala ukuthatha lokhu kuziphatha kalula, futhi, ngokusho, "uhlale entanyeni yakho." Yingakho, uma unquma ukuthi ushintshe noma ngabe udinga ukuhlala ngendlela efanayo, owesifazane kudingeka aqonde ukuthi yiyiphi indoda yakhe. Noma kunalokho, uhlobo luni lomuntu oludinga. Ngempela, eqinisweni, kunezinhlobo eziningi zobunjwa bamantombazane, kunezinhlobo eziningi zamadoda. Kukhona amantombazane ahlale efuna ukufeza okuthile futhi aqinisekise emhlabeni wonke ukuthi angcono kakhulu futhi afaneleke kakhulu. Umfana onjalo cishe ngeke abe nesithakazelo entombazaneni enomusa nokuqonda. Udinga impilo ukuba ihlale igcwele izithako kanye nemizwelo ehlukahlukene. Owesifazane okhathalela ubudlova nokududuzeka, akasoze anikeze umfana inani lemikhuba ayidingayo. Kungenzeka ukuthi uyakwazisa futhi ahloniphe owesifazane onjalo, futhi abuyele ekhaya, kodwa uzobheka imizwelo ohlangothini, nalabo besifazane abangeke bamhloniphe, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, kuzokwenza izinkinga, ziphoqele ukuba zifune. Ngomunye onjalo, indoda ayikwazi ukuthi yini okufanele ilindele ngomzuzu olandelayo. Yilokho okuyiqhuba. Ngakho-ke, uma ukhangwa abantu abanjalo, akufanele ube nomusa futhi uhambe kalula. Yiqiniso, lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele uhlale uvuselela ama-hysteric futhi uthole ubuhlobo nawo. Kulula nje, indoda kufanele iqonde ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukusebenzisa umusa wakho, futhi wazi kahle intengo yakho, unemfihlakalo futhi ungenakufinyeleleka, futhi uma ephindaphinda, uzokuthatha kancane, khona-ke uzolahlekelwa.
Futhi, kukhona isigaba samadoda abazama ukuthola konke okusemandleni ukuqinisekisa ukuthi imvelo ibaluleke ngani. Eqinisweni, indoda enjalo idinga umfazi onothando nonomusa ozomsiza ukuba aqede izakhiwo, azosekela, futhi, wakhe, umusa, avikele. Abantu abanjalo banomuntu obuthakathaka futhi badinga ngemuva okuqinile. Kodwa, ngenxa yenkimbinkimbi yabo, baphosela abesifazane abanjalo futhi bafinyelele ezingenakutholakali. Umfana onjalo kufanele aqonde ukuthi uyintombazane abazakwazisa abangane bayo. Noma kunjalo, kufanelekile ukucabanga ukuthi udinga yini umuntu ongakwazi ukuzikhethela empilweni futhi abuke umbono womphakathi kukho konke. Kodwa, uma usafuna ukuba nalo mfana, ungabonisi emphakathini ukuthi uyabathanda kanjani nokuthi ulungele ukwenza konke. Kumelwe ube khona ngokungafanelekile futhi uhlale wazi ngokwakho intengo. Kodwa, ngesikhathi esifanayo, yedwa, kumele ube ngowona wesifazane ozokwazi ukusekela njalo nokusiza, kodwa, ngesikhathi esifanayo, akufanele uxazulule izinkinga kuye. Amadoda anjalo akakwazi ukuvulwa ngokuphelele futhi avumele konke. Kuzo ukuthi indlela eyaziwa kakhulu ye "isanqante nokunamathela" isebenza kahle kakhulu. Uma ungabona leyo nkinga ebuhlotsheni naye, ongenakukwazi ukuya kuwo, ungajabula naye.
Kodwa, kukhona futhi esinye isigaba samadoda. Bayazintombikazi abathulile abathanda ukuzola ekhaya labo, "echwebeni" labo. Kunzima kakhulu kwabesifazane abaqeda imizwelo futhi okungekho owaziyo ukuthi yini okufanele balindele emzuzwana olandelayo. Labafana bafuna nje amantombazane "ekhaya". Bayakujabulela umusa nokuqonda, kanye nenduduzo oyobadala yona. Amadoda anjalo ayazithengisa ngokwabo, azama ukuxazulula izinto ngokuthula futhi azonde lapho abesifazane beqala ukuthola ubudlelwano emathonjeni aphezulu. Ngakho-ke, uma wazi ukuthi uhlale ulungele ukuthanda nokusiza indoda yakho, khona-ke umfana onjalo uyoba yindlela enhle kunazo zonke. La madoda aqotho futhi aqinisekile ngokwanele ukuba angaqala ukukusebenzisa. Bayazisa ngempela lokho okwenzela yona, futhi ungabathinti kalula. La madoda azoba amadoda afanelekayo kulabo abangadala induduzo nobumpofu, futhi bavikele umphefumulo, inhliziyo kanye nezinzwa zomuntu othandekayo ekucindezelekeni, okuhlangenwe nakho nokuphikisana.