Empeleni, ukuphendula, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuqili ebuhlotsheni buzosiza, kubalulekile ukucabangela ezinye izici. Okokuqala, ubuqili ebuhlotsheni buhlukile. Ngezinye izikhathi kubhidliza konke, futhi ngezinye izikhathi, ngokuphambene nalokho, kusiza ebuhlotsheni. Kodwa, leli qhinga lisiza nini, futhi libuhlungu nini?
Owesifazane angabonisa ukukhohlisa ngezindlela ezahlukene. Isibonelo, ngamunye wethu unamacebo akhe amancane ukuhlela umfana kuye noma ukumphoqa ukuba enze okuthile. Khona-ke siyasizwa yiqoqo lamasu ethu. Kodwa, kufanele kuqaphele ukuthi uma owesifazane ehlala esebenzisa lokhu, liphenduka amanga ebuhlotsheni. Yiqiniso, kungenzeka ukuthi lokhu akulona amanga, kodwa ukuziphatha okunjalo, okungenani, akunakuthiwa ukwethembeka ngokuqondene nomuntu othandekayo. Lokhu kuziphatha akusizi, kepha kuyaphenduka. Uma owesifazane eqhubeka ephethe ubuthakathaka obuthile nokuhlangenwe nakho kwendoda, khona-ke lokhu akusekho ngobuqili, kodwa kusho ukuhlakanipha. Ngakho-ke, ngokushesha kufanele uqaphele ukuthi ebuhlotsheni, kukho konke okudingayo ukwazi isilinganiso futhi ungalokothi uhambe kakhulu. Uma wenza kanjalo, ubuqili ngeke bulimaze.
Ngakho-ke, yiziphi izinto ezimbalwa esizisebenzisayo ukwenza umfana athande futhi aqonde. Okokuqala, ubuqili besifazane yisayensi ekhethekile. Ukuqamba okulungile akusoze kwabizwa ngokuthi inkohliso. Kulula nje, sikwazi ukukhuluma futhi senze kanjalo endleleni yethu, kodwa akekho ongamsola owesifazane ngokuxhashazwa.
Okokuqala, ngosizo lobuqili, sikwazi ukuphuma ezimo ezinzima futhi sivimbele ama-scandals. Isibonelo, uma umfana ethukuthele, futhi unecala kule ntombazane, inkohliso ukuguqula futhi ungavumeli ukushaywa indiva ukuvuvukala. Ungakwenza lokhu nganoma iyiphi indlela. Abanye besifazane bayakwazi ukumboza amagama omfana ukuze, ekugcineni, anecala, hhayi yena. Kulesi simo, into esemqoka akumele ibuyele ngokufutheka futhi ixolele ngomusa insizwa. Leli qhinga ngezinye izikhathi liyadingeka ngempela ukuze ugweme izingxabano ezingadingekile. Futhi, abanye besifazane bayaphazamisa ukukhwabanisa ngokukhukhumeza nokubamba. Lokhu futhi kuyinkinga yabesifazane. Kulesi simo, udinga ukukwazi ukugcina umugqa phakathi kokukwenyuka, ukuphazamiseka nokwehla. Uma owesifazane engayitholi, ngokuvamile, indoda imane iyixoshe futhi ihlazo livuke ngamandla amakhulu nakakhulu. Futhi labo kuphela abakwazi ukwenza izinto ngendlela efanele bangabathulisa amadoda abo futhi bajabule.
Futhi, ubuqili besifazane bubonakala lapho intombazane ifuna ukuthandana nendoda. Kulokhu, ukukhohlisa akukona ukukhombisa umfana ukuthi uyathanda naye, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ukubonisa isithakazelo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, amantombazane azama ukungazibikezeli. Kodwa, ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukukhohlisa kungenakwenzeka. Amadoda emva kwabo bonke abazingeli abadinga ukuthola indlela yabo bese bebamba isisulu. Uma kungekho muntu ozingelayo, khona-ke isithakazelo siyanyamalala. Ngakho-ke, amantombazane abonisa umusa, abanda, avele futhi aphele. Ngezinye izikhathi abawuthathi ifoni, ngezinye izikhathi bathi bayamatasa futhi banokuphumula emkhatsini wabantu, okuyiqiniso ukuthi bangabangane kuphela. Izindlela ezincane ezinjalo zenza abantu babe nomona futhi bangaphumuli. Into eyinhloko akuyona ukuyiqeda ukuze umfana angaqali ukusola nokuhlukumezeka futhi lokhu akuzange kuholele ekuhlazisweni okukhulu nokuhlukana.
Abesifazane abakwazi ukudlala ngothando bahamba ngezinkinga ezahlukene. Ukubukeka kwabo, ukubuza, ukumamatheka kubonakala kungokwemvelo, kodwa, empeleni, kuklanyelwe ukuheha umuntu othile.
Futhi, ukuqamba kwabesifazane abaningi kuyimfihlakalo yabo. Amantombazane akwazi ukuziphatha ngendlela yokuthi amadoda ahlale ethanda ukusondelana nawo futhi athole izici zemiphefumulo yawo. Abazange bahlasele futhi bangazami ukumnyama abanye besifazane. Lokhu kuyinkinga, ngoba, ngalendlela, indoda iqala ukucabanga ukuthi le ndoda inhle kakhulu. Ngokungafani nabanye, akazivumeli ukuba akhulume kabi ngokuncintisana, okukhuluma ngomusa wakhe nokuqonda kwakhe. Futhi le ntombazane yilokho abazama ukukufeza. Ngisho noma kunjalo, eqinisweni, ukulungele ukuphuma amehlo abo abaqhudelana nawo, umuntu ngeke aqagele ngakho. Ukuba mnandi futhi kuphuza - lokho kungenye yezinkomba zamantombazane esebenza nakanjani emadodeni.
Enye yokuqamba kwethu, okusebenza ngaso sonke isikhathi - kuyisondeza futhi i-naivety, "esiyivula" ngezikhathi ezithile uma kunesidingo. Abesifazane abakwazi ukuziphatha ngobuqili bayazi ukuthi abantu badinga ukuzizwa behlakaniphe kakhulu futhi banamandla. Bawavumela ukuba bawuthole, ngezikhathi ezithile bazenza sengathi bayisiphukuphuku futhi bayabuthakathaka. Ngokuvamile, ukuze athole ukunakwa, intombazane yenza sengathi ayinasici futhi indoda iyagijima ukuze imlondoloze kuzo zonke izifo, ingazi ukuthi le ndoda ingakwazi ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga zayo yedwa.
Ubuqili obuhle ebuhlotsheni, kungcono kunamaqhinga abesifazane abalulekile abasiza ukuheha ukunakekelwa kwamadoda nokusekela ilangabi lemizwa kubo. Kodwa-ke, kukhona nokukhohlisa okungathandeki lapho owesifazane egcina khona indoda lapho eqonda ukuthi maduzane uzomshiya. Le nkohliso ayikho into ehle kunazo zonke, ngoba iba yintuthuko namanga. Kulokhu, labesifazane baqala ukwakha izindaba ezahlukene futhi balale amantombazane, ukuze akwazi ukuphenduka ahambe. Ngezinye izikhathi, lokhu kwamanga kungenasisekelo ngokwanele, futhi ngezinye izikhathi abantu baqala ukuhamba bonke ubuso. Amantombazane akhuluma ngokukhulelwa okucatshangelwayo, izifo ezingelapheki nezinye izinto ezenza abafana bahlale besondelene. Lapho iqiniso livuleka, futhi livula noma yiliphi icala, konke kuholela ekuphuleni ekuxabaneni nezimpikiswano. Ngakho-ke, befuna ukuba nobuqili, abesifazane kufanele bakhumbule ukuthi ukukhohlisa akukaze kulinganiswe nobuzwe. Yingakho, ukuze ube nobuhlobo obuhle nomthande wakho, ungakhohlisa futhi usebenzise ubuqili bakho besifazane. Kodwa, awudingi ukuguqula impilo yakho ibe yi-farce futhi uhambe noma yikuphi ubunye ukuze uthole lokho okufunayo.