Umndeni omncane uhlale unendima enkulu, kungukuqala komcimbi omusha, omuhle, ushintsho olukhulu empilweni yabalingani bobabili. Kodwa emndenini ngamunye kunezinkinga kanye nezingxabano, ngoba ukuxhumana kwabantu kubanzi kakhulu, futhi ingxabano ngokwayo inezinye izikhathi inomlingiswa we-detente, esinikezwa ubudlelwane bomndeni. Isihloko: "Izimbangela zezingqondo zokuphikisana emndenini omusha" zizokutshela mayelana nezinhlangothi ezibucayi zobudlelwane esitokisini esanda kuzalwa somphakathi ngenhloso yokuzigwema esikhathini esizayo.
Ngokwakhe, izingxabano zingavuleka (ukukhuluma, ukukhala, ukuxabana), kanye nokuvaliwe (ukunganaki, ukufutheka, ukuthula). Inhloso yezingxabano ngokuvamile isifiso sokufeza izintshisekelo zabo, zizibophezele, zanelise izifiso zabo ezingokwengqondo, njll. Izingxabano ezingxabano ngokuvamile ziyizingxabano, izingxabano, izinsolo ... Ifomu, ukubonakaliswa kanye nezimbangela zomuntu ngamunye zingase zihluke. Kule ngqungquthela, izimbangela ezisemqoka zengqondo zokuxabana emndenini omusha zizobizwa ngegama.
Ngokuvamile, kungenzeka ukuba zibheke izimpande zawo kanye nezidingo eziyisisekelo zomuntu, okuvela kuyo ngokuvamile. Lokhu kufaka phakathi: ubulili, ukudla, ukukhulumisana ... Izingxabano zizokwenzeka uma kukhona usongo lokuntula ukwaneliseka komunye wabo.
Kusukela kulesi siphetho: izingxabano zingase zivele lapho izinkinga ziqala noma kukhona usongo lokunganeliseki ngezifiso nezilingo zethu. Emndenini kunezinkathi eziningana "zenkinga", lapho ubudlelwane bebuhlungu, futhi ingozi yokuxabana iyanda.
Okokuqala kulaba kuzoba yisigaba sokuqala sobudlelwane, lapho imiqondo ethi "I" ihlehla, futhi "thina" sivela engqondweni yombhangqwana. Lesi yisikhathi sokuzivumelanisa, lo mbhangqwana ufunda ukuhlala ndawonye, uthando nokuthandana kuyanyamalala, futhi endaweni yabo iza impilo yansuku zonke, indlela yokuphila ehluke ngokuphelele, yilowo nalowo wembula ngokwawo uhlangothi, wembula ukuthi uyedwa. Isikhathi sokuqala sobudlelwano bomndeni sinzima kakhulu, ingozi yokuhlukanisa inkulu kakhulu.
Isikhathi sesibili sihlotshaniswa nokuzalwa kwengane. Kunezinkinga ezihlobene nokukhathala kokuziphatha nangokomzimba, ngasiphi isikhathi imibono ehlukene kanye nezikhundla zokuphila zingase zihlangane.
Inkathi yesithathu yiyona "phakathi" kweminyaka yobudala. Abalingani babuyisisa kabusha izimpilo zabo, beqaphela kuyo impilo yokuphila yansuku zonke, isimiso kanye nobuhle, kukhona "ukudluliselwa kwe-oversuration" komunye nomunye.
Izimbangela zezingxabano ngezigaba ezahlukene zingaba ukungahambisani ngokobulili kwabalingani, ukungakwazi ukuveza imibono yabo nokunikeza ulwazi mayelana nezidingo zabo ezingokwengqondo kumlingani.
Isizathu esifanayo sokungqubuzana singase sibe ukunganeliseki ekukhulumisaneni, ukukhathazeka, usizo, ukusekelwa, ukungahloniphi imizwa yowomunye wabalingani, ukususa "i" lakhe.
Isibonelo: Esinye sezimbangela zokungqubuzana emndenini osencane kungaba ukuphuza ngokweqile komunye wabo. Kulesi simo, umlingani ohlukumeza utshwala, ophula imigomo yomphakathi, hhayi kuphela elahlekelwa yimpilo yakhe, kodwa futhi uhlukanisa nawo wonke umhlaba, kuhlanganise nomshado. Ukungqubuzana kubangelwa ukuthi omunye wabashadile unomlutha wokwanelisa izidingo zabo kuphela, ukuveza ukungabi nokuqonda okuphelele kwesibili nokungazinaki imizwa nezidingo zakhe.
Izingxabano zingabuka ngezizathu zokungahambisani namasiko kanye namasiko omshado ngamunye, ukungabi nhlobo kwesabelomali somndeni, futhi, ngokumane, ngenxa yezimo zengqondo ezehlukene zokuzilibazisa.
Ukwazi izimbangela zezingxabano, singakwazi ukuthola izindlela zokunciphisa ingozi yokuvela kwabo, ukuvimbela futhi ukunciphisa. Ukuze udale izingxabano ezimbalwa emndenini, umuntu kufanele afunde ukuxhumana, ngoba ukushada naye okuhle kumakhono omuhle: kufanele usebenze ngokwakho, unqobe u-egocentrism wakho, ugxile ezifisweni zomunye umuntu. Ngemuva kwalokho, umshado ungumbumbano wabantu ababili manje abaphelele, okufanele ukukhohlwa ngendlela yokuzinakekela nezifiso zakho. Khumbula ukuthi umlingani udinga wena, ekusekeleni kwakho, ukunakekelwa nothando.
Ukuthembela komunye nomunye kuzo zonke izindaba, okungenani kubalulekile ukunciphisa umhawu. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi uma umyeni ekukhethile - kakade kusho ukuthi nguwe kuphela futhi othandekayo kuye, ukuthi nguwe, hhayi abanye, owathandana naye, nomshado - lokhu kuwubufakazi. Ungazicabangi wena kanye nokuheha kwakho, ngoba ukuzithoba noma ukuzethemba ngokweqile kuyimbangela yokuxabana, kokubili nomlingani kanye nawe.
Zihloniphe wena nomngane wakho womshado, unesithakazelo kuye nezinto zakhe zokuzilibazisa, uzibonge lokho akufezile, umdumise futhi ubeke izinto eziza kuqala. Yenza isimanga, uchithe isikhathi esiningi ndawonye - impilo yomndeni ingakuvula injabulo eminingi kanye nokumangalisa, ungayithathi imfucumfucu futhi uyayizonda. Kukhona njalo izindlela eziningi zokuzihlukanisa nokuqinisa ubuhlobo bakho.
Zibukele wena nentuthuko yakho, ungazigijimi, gcina amehlo ekubukeni kwakho. Yiba nomnakekeli futhi ucindezele ngomyeni wakhe, kodwa vele ukhombise ukuthi uyamdinga, ngoba ungcono kakhulu kuwe.
Kodwa uma zonke izingxabano ezifanayo zenzeka, udinga ukwazi ukuzixazulula. Lapha into esemqoka akukona ukuheha abantu abangabazi, ukuvuleka nokuthembeka, ukusho kuphela ukuthi ucabangani futhi uzizwa kanjani. Ungabufihli ulwazi, wesabe ukusho into esemqoka, wenze lokho abanye abantu abakwelulekayo, ngoba nguwe kuphela okudingeka wenze izinqumo ezindabeni zakho.
Ukungqubuzana kungcono ukuxazululwa ngesikhathi yengxoxo lapho ngamunye wabahlanganyeli ezama ukuqondana, basizane futhi athole ukuyekethisa. Ungagxila kuphela emibonweni yakho. Uma uqinisekile ukuthi isikhundla sakho kuphela sizoba yisisombululo kuleso simo, ngokuqondile futhi ngokubaluleke kakhulu, uchaze ngokuzithoba ukuthi kungani ucabanga kanjalo, futhi kungani ngamunye wenu edinga lesi sinqumo, esikhundleni sokumemeza nokumemezela umbono wakho , ngesizathu, ngoba "ngifuna kanjalo."
Okokugcina, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi zonke izingxabano zixazululwa, futhi ukubukeka kwabo akufanele besabe. Awukhombisi ukuthi inyunyana yakho iyawa, noma ukuthi awuhambisani ndawonye. Kodwa-ke, yilowo nalowo mkhakha udinga ukwazi ukuthi yiziphi izimbangela zengxabano emndenini omusha. Izingxabano ngokungenani inani labo ziyisici kubo bonke imindeni, into esemqoka, bafunde ukubhekana nazo. Khumbula ukuthi inhlalakahle yomndeni wakho incike kuwe kuphela.