Maye, namuhla ngisho ngisho nengxenye yemishado ephelile ihlukana, kodwa iningi labo. Njengomthetho, izingane zihlala kule mishado, kamuva ziba izingane zokutholwa nabazali abathintekayo emibumbano elandelayo yabazali babo. Inkinga? Cha! Namuhla usuvele uhlazeka ukwenza inkinga ngaphandle kwalokhu ...
Ngaphambi kokuba uhlobanise impilo yakho (kanye nempilo yengane yakho) nomuntu omusha, kufanele ulungiselele umcimbi wale mcimbi obalulekile. Ngenkathi ungakaphothiwe yiziphi izibopho, kubalulekile ukuthola izinto eziningi ngokuphathelene nomuntu ozoshada naye, kanye nokwenza umsebenzi othile nomntwana. Phela, ukuxhumana okulandelana phakathi kukababa nomntwana emshadweni wesibili kuyisibopho senqaba nenhlalakahle yomndeni wakho omusha.
Buza oshade naye esikhathini esizayo imibuzo elandelayo (futhi okungcono kunabo bonke bazama ukuthola ngezindlela ezingaqondile):
♦ Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyathanda izingane ngokusemthethweni;
♦ kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukulungele ukudela imikhuba yakhe futhi lula ngenxa yenjabulo nokuthula kwengane;
♦ kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyayithanda yini ingane yakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ayithandi:
♦ noma ngabe uzoba nomhawu kuwe kumntwana;
♦ Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unina angeke aphathe kabi ingane yakhe.
Uma kuvela into engalungile, kufanele ikuxwayise ngokushesha: cabanga, kufanele uphuthume nalomshado?
THUMA UKUTHI ...
♦ Vumela umyeni wakho ukuba alungele izinguquko ezinkulu empilweni yakhe: uchaze kuye ukuthi ubuholi bakho bosuku bubukeka kanjani manje, futhi mabize ukuthi ngokubukeka kwakhe akukho lutho oluzoshintsha, okungukuthi, kuzodingeka azilungiselele kunokuba wena nomntwana. Ekugcineni, njalo ulalele iningi.
♦ Mqaphelise ukuthi ngeke anikezwe yena kuphela futhi ingane ingadingi ukunakwa kwakho (akeke abe nomhawu).
♦ Mxwayise ukuthi umntwana angeke akwazi ukujwayele ukujwayele ilungu elisha lomndeni, kodwa okokuqala uzobonisa umhawu ngisho nobutha. Chaza kumyeni wakho ukuthi akukho lutho olungalungile ngalokhu, futhi ukuthi izazi zengqondo zicabanga ukuthi lokhu kuyinto evamile. Izingane zinzima kakhulu ukunqoba lesi simo, ngakho-ke abantu abadala kufanele babonise ukubekezela okukhulu nokuthembeka.
♦ Mtshele ukuthi usulungele ukwamukela ukuthi akubona bonke abantu abakwazi ukuthanda ngempela ingane engeyona ingane, kepha ucabanga ukuthi kunoma yikuphi, kufanele uhloniphe, uhloniphe futhi ubonise isimo sengqondo esihle (chaza lokhu njengesimo sakho somshado , ungenza ngisho nesivumelwano esibhaliwe).
Khuluma NOMNGANE ...
♦ Qinisekisa ukuthi ingane ilungele izinguquko emndenini: ayikho into ephikisana nomshado wakho ngokuyisisekelo futhi ngokumelene nomakhethi wakho ngokukhethekile. Uma ungaqiniseki ngalokhu, kungcono ukuhlehlisa umshado kuze kube yilapho zonke izimo zicaciswa noma zilahle ngokuphelele.
♦ Dweba impilo yakho yesikhathi esizayo nobaba omusha kumntanami, zama ukufakazela ukuthi naye uzoba ngcono kakhulu kuye (ngoba ubaba unomndeni ohlukile futhi wenza kahle lapho, ngoba umama ufuna nokuba nabathandekayo bakhe, njengabo bonke abanye, ngoba ndawonye kuhlale kulula ukuhlala futhi kunamathuba amaningi, njll).
♦ Bhala izinzuzo ezithile ezivela empilweni yakhe ngokubonakala kwendoda endlini (umfana angadlala nobaba omusha ebhola, ubheke umdlalo we-TV ndawonye futhi afunde amasu okuzivikela, futhi intombazane iyozizwa ngaphansi kokuvikelwa okuthembekile).
♦ Mthembise ukuthi uzokwazi ukuhlangana noyise ngendlela ayithandayo, nokuthi akekho ozomphoqa ukuba athathe isibongo esihlukile. Phela, uxhumano phakathi kukababa nomntwana lungcwele futhi ngeke uluhlukane.
♦ Chaza ingane ukuthi akekho ozoyifuna kuye ukuthi uyamthanda ubaba omusha njengeyakhe, kodwa kuyoba kuhle uma ubungane phakathi kwabo busungulwa.
♦ Vumelanise ngokushesha, njengoba ebiza uyise oyise (leli gama elibi, ngendlela, awukwazi ukusho). Okuhlukile: Ubaba uLesha, Uncle Lesha, ngegama-patronymic, ngegama nje. Ungagcizelele ukuthi umntwana ubiza umyeni wakho ubaba.
♦ Chaza ingane ukuthi kunzima ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthi umuntu angene kwenye umndeni, ngakho kufanele usekelwe, hhayi ukulimaza nokuvusa izingxabano.
♦ Mtshele ukuthi umndeni wendoda yakho yesikhathi esizayo akuyithathi njengokwakho - uma kunjalo, wonke umuntu kufanele abone okungenani ukuhlonishwa nokuhlonipha.
UMNTWANA UBALULEKILE!
Uma uqaphela ukuthi umlingani wakho wesikhathi esizayo akajabuli ngokuthi ubanjwe owesifazane "onomthwalo," cabangela ukhetho lokuqeda ubuhlobo obunjalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uyamthanda kangakanani lo muntu. Ekugcineni, le nhlangano ngeke ilethe injabulo kunoma ubani, ngoba uthando olunzima ludlula, nobuhlobo bakho nengane - ngokuqinisekile ngokuphila. Uma emshadweni wesibili ubaphazamisa ngephutha lomthandi wakho, khona-ke wena ngokwakho uzakuzonda, okubi kakhulu, futhi uthando lomntanakho ngeke lubuyiselwe kuwe.
IZINHLANGANO EZIKHULU
Umsebenzi womama ukwakha ubudlelwane enxantathu "ubaba-ntambama-ntambama", ukuze bonke balwele ukuhlala ndawonye ngokuthula futhi baphathane ngokuhlonipha. Akunandaba ukuthi kungani futhi wahlukana kanjani nomyeni wakho wokuqala - manje umlando. Kumele sicabange ngalamuhla. I-leitmotif eyinhloko kufanele ibe yinkinga elula: "Sonke singabantu, wonke umuntu angaba namaphutha namaphutha." Futhi enye enye: "Ningahluleli, ngakho-ke ngeke nihlulelwe." Lokhu kuzokulondoloza wena nomntwana ekulahlweni kobaba wangempela. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo kuzolinganisa umhawu womyeni wakho wesibili. Ngenxa yalokho, ungaba ngisho nabangane futhi uxhumane nemindeni. Mhlawumbe ubudlelwane obunjalo abukazanga emphakathini wethu, kepha uma ucabanga ngakho, kuyinto engokwemvelo futhi elula. Futhi kubantwana lokhu kuhle kakhulu kunobutha nokuhlekwa njalo ngamehlo.
IZIMPENDULO EZIKHULU
♦ Ungalindeli ukuthi ingane nomyeni bayothandana masinyane: isikhathi esincane sokujwayela isimo seminyaka engu-2, kanti ubuningi - iminyaka engu-7.
♦ Ungalindeli ukuthi indoda izothanda ingane yakhe kanye nezingane ezithandayo - umndeni uvame ukuthanda kakhulu. Into esemqoka ukuqinisekisa umyeni ukuthi akufanele abonise izingane.
♦ Ungalandeli ingane: ubuhlobo bomshado buyabalulekile, futhi kufanele uqinisekise ukuthi konke okuphambili kuhlelekile.
♦ Ungasheshi ukulahlwa uma ubaba omusha engakutholi ngaso leso sikhathi ngesikhathi esisodwa (into kuphela okufanele imiswe ngokushesha ukuqina kanzima komuntu wesilisa ngokuphathelene nengane).
INSTRUCTION FOR THE BEGINING FATHER
♦ Ungasheshi ukufundisa umfazi wengane, ikakhulukazi uma engumfana (imfundo enhle isibonelo somuntu siqu).
♦ Akudingekile ukugcizelela futhi ukuthi nguwe oyinhloko yomndeni: ngalokhu awunakwenzeka ukunqoba ukwethenjwa kwengane (kangcono ugcizelele isimo sakho sengqondo nesithando ngunina nangenxa yakhe).
♦ Ungabuyeli ekujezisweni: ngokuqinisekile ngeke kumjabulise ingane ekhulelwe, futhi ungakwazi njalo ukuxazulula izinkinga ngenye indlela (ngokusebenzisa izincazelo, izingxoxo kanye nokwehlisa).
♦ Ukukhulumisana nomntwana ngokulingana okulinganayo, njengomuntu omdala, umbonise inhlonipho yakho.
♦ Qinisekisa ukudlala nengane, iya emidlalo yaseshashalazini nasemabhayisikobho nomndeni wonke.
♦ Thatha nawe ukuze usebenze ukuze abe nomuzwa wokuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ubaba wakhe wesilisa owenzayo, wabona ukuthi uhlonishwa.
♦ Zama ukudonsela ingane lokho okuthandayo.
♦ Nika amacebo "Angiboni lutho, angizwa lutho" ngokuphathelene nezinyathelo zomntwana, ngakho anganquma ukuthi awukhathaleli ngaye.
♦ Lungele isikhathi esithile ukubekezelela ukuhlukunyezwa nokwenqatshwa kwengane (ikakhulukazi uma isencane), bonisa ukuzithiba bese uzama ukubeka endaweni yengane: izingane, njengombuso, zithola ukuhlukana kwabazali babo isikhathi eside kakhulu.
I-EXPERT:
U-Elena Nikolaevna UVORONTSOVA, udokotela-wengqondo
Ukudala umndeni kuwumsebenzi omningi. Abantu, ngokusemthethweni, kunzima ukuhlangana kanye nokuvumelanisa izithakazelo zabo ezithakazelweni zomunye umuntu. Endabeni yomfazi womshado wokuqala womkakho wabo bonke abathathu (hhayi nje ubaba ongase abe khona), izinkinga zokuxhumana phakathi kukababa nomntwana emishadweni yesibili ziphindwe kabili. Ingane yayivele ihawukela unina kuyise, futhi manje isimo sakhe siyinkimbinkimbi nakakhulu, ngoba kwavela isihloko esisha somhawu. Futhi uma ubaba, ngokucacile noma ngokucacile, kodwa eveza uthando lwakhe, awaziwa ukuthi umyeni omusha uzophatha kanjani ingane entsha. Izingane zonke zizwa futhi ziqonde: abadala bayazi ngokugcwele, futhi izingane zisezingeni elingenakuqonda. Le ndoda uqobo, nakuba ezama ukuzamazama, kodwa ejulile enhliziyweni yakhe, futhi, izinkathazo nezinkathazo mayelana nokuthi yini engayithandi ingane, iyoba uthisha ongabalulekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, naye futhi endaweni ethile ekucabangeni ukufihla umhawu ngomyeni odlule, futhi ingane yenza lokho njengento ekhuza njalo (njengesikhumbuzo esiphilayo). Futhi-ke, umfazi: uzolahlwa ukuba njalo, phakathi kwemililo emibili, njengoba bekushoyo, ukwakha njalo, ukulungisa nokulungisa "ubuhlobo phakathi kwengane nomyeni omusha. Ngelinye igama, kunezinkinga ezanele. Kodwa zonke ezimweni eziningi zixazululwa, uma kunjalo, ziyabona futhi ziyiqonde kahle. Into esemqoka isifiso somuntu ukubona owesifazane wakhe othandekayo ajabule, ngakho-ke ingane yakhe.