Izimfihlo zokudlala ngothando

Isihluthulelo sokuphumelela akusilo lonke ikhono lokuzibonakalisa futhi lihlaba umxhwele, kodwa ikhono lokuzithoba, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo lenza kucace ukuthi othile walithanda. Uma "umgomo" uzizwa ukuthi uyathandeka kowesifazane, khona-ke amathuba okumthanda ayanda kakhulu.


Leli qiniso elilula liye laboniswa ekucwaningeni nasezinhlolweni ezingenakubalwa, kodwa empeleni ngenxa yobufakazi balo akudingeki ukuba yihlakaniphi ebunzini.

Uma kuziwa ngokudlala ngothando, iningi - ikakhulukazi amadoda - gxila engxenyeni yamazwi yalo: ezingxoxweni, ngesidingo sokufaka isiqephu esifanele ngesikhathi esifanele, ukuthola amagama afanele njalo njalo.

Eqinisweni, isici esingekho amazwi sokudlala ngothando - ulimi lomzimba, intonation, timbre kanye nokududuza kwezwi, njll - kubaluleke kakhulu, ikakhulukazi esiteji sokuqala.

Lapho umuntu ehlangana nowesifazane okokuqala, umbono wakhe wokuqala uzoba ngamaphesenti angu-55 kuye ngokuthi ubukeka kanjani nolimi lomzimba, amaphesenti angu-38 endleleni akhuluma ngayo, futhi amaphesenti angu-7 kuphela ashoyo.

Ngokufanayo, izimpawu ezingezona izethulo ezithunyelwe "isisulu" kuzotshela umuntu ngesimo sakhe sengqondo ngaye ngaphezu kwamazwi. Abantu babonisa okunamathiselwe kwabo futhi bangathandeki ngalokho abakushoyo, kodwa ngendlela abazenza ngayo, nangenxa yokubheka, ukubonakaliswa kweso nesenzo okuhambisana namazwi.

I-"yendabuko" yendabuko, isibonelo, ingasho noma yini - kusuka ku- "u, ukuthi ungubani!" kuya "n-yebo, kahle, kahle ..."

Amehlo - lokhu kungenzeka imfihlo ebaluleke kunazo zonke yokudlala ngothando. Ngokuvamile abantu bacabanga ukuthi amehlo ayilungu elibona ulwazi, kodwa empeleni nawo liyisimemezelo esinamandla kakhulu. Ngendlela abantu ababukana ngayo, bahlangana amehlo abo, baphenduka amehlo abo, kulula ukubona ukuthi bathola injabulo elula ngokudlala ngothando noma ukuhoxisa, akukho okunye okudingekayo futhi akunamnandi kakhulu kokubili izingxoxo.

Amehlo esweni - lezi zikhali ezinamandla kangangokuthi ezimweni ezivamile, abantu baphoqeleka ukuba baqede kakhulu isikhathi sokuwusebenzisa. Ukubuka isikhathi eside emehlweni omunye umuntu kungasho into eyodwa kuphela: umuntu ohlangenwe nakho uma eqhathaniswa naye imizwelo engalingani - noma ukuzwelana noma inzondo. Ngokuvamile, ukuhlazeka yizibonakaliso zemizwelo yokuqina okunjalo, abantu bazama ukugcina amehlo abo emehlweni angaphezu kwesibili, nasesixukwini esikhulu noma bezungezwe abantu abangabazi ngisho nangaphansi. Futhi abaningi bazama ukugwema ukuxhumana kwamehlo.

Ngendlela, kusezandleni zalabo abafuna ukubonga isihambi (noma umfokazi okhangayo). Ngisho nasehholo eligcwele, ngamakhulu ezinhloko, umuntu angenza umuntu azi ukuthi akanandaba. Konke okudingeka ukwenze ukubamba iso lomuntu onentshisekelo futhi uyibambe okungaphezu kwesibili.

Uma umuntu ephumelela, khona-ke ithemba lokubambisana, kakade ephaketheni lakhe. Futhi uma emva kwalokhu kuqala ukuhlangana ngamehlo into yokuzingela ibheka kancane umzuzwana, bese uyibuka futhi, umuntu angaqiniseka: usevele engenandaba. Yebo, uma evuzwa ngokumomotheka, khona-ke ungasondela ngokuqiniseka okuthile.

Uma bengahlangabezane ne-glance, futhi uma behlangana, bavele babheke kude futhi bangabuyi futhi, kungase kusho ukuthi inzalo yalo muntu, yebo, yafika phezu kodonga olungenalutho. Kodwa-ke, kusheshe kakhulu ukuphelelwa yithemba: into yokububula ingaba namahloni kakhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abanye besifazane bakubheka njengento ehlazo ukubonisa noma ubani ukuthi bathande yini umuntu ongaziwa. Ingabe kunjalo? Noma ingabe amathuba akhona ngempela?

Ungafunda ngalokhu kuphela ngokubuka ngokucophelela indlela umgomo uziphatha ngayo nabanye. Ingabe uyagwema ukuhlangana nombono nawo wonke amadoda? Ingabe yena (into) ubheka ukwesaba, ukukhathazeka noma, ukusho, oziqhenya lapho ekhuluma nabanye besifazane? Uma u-yebo, khona-ke (into) engafuni ukuphendula umbono wakho cishe akukho lutho lomuntu siqu, futhi ukuzama inhlanhla yakho kungase kuwufanele, nakuba kunokuqapha okukhethekile.

Uma umuntu ekhuluma ngendaba yokudinga kwakhe isikhathi eside, kudingeka aphinde axhumane ne-eye - okungenani ukuze uqale ingxoxo. Uma nje amehlo akho ahlangana, ungaqala ukukhuluma. Lapho nje ingxoxo iqala, ungasusa amehlo akho.

Kuwusizo ukwazi ngesikhathi esifanayo ukuthi phakathi nenkhulumomphendvulwano isikhulumi singabheka cishe noma kuphi; umlaleli uvame ukubuka i-interlocutor. Ngakho-ke, uma umuntu eseqedile ukukhuluma kwakhe futhi efuna ukuzwa impendulo, kudingeka aphinde abuke emehlweni ososizi. Uma umuntu efuna ukubonisa isithakazelo kulokho okushiwo yi-intanethi, kufanele nje uyibuke ngokucophelela isikhathi sesithathu sesine isikhathi sokuxoxa, futhi ubude bokubukeka okunjalo kufanele kube kusuka kumzuzwana owodwa ukuya kusikhombisa.

Umuntu okhuluma njalo uvame ukubheka okungaphansi kwengxenye yesikhathi futhi uhlangane amehlo akhe isikhathi esifushane - kuze kube sesibili. Lapho umngane omusha (umngane) eqeda ukukhuluma futhi enquma ukudlulisela isinyathelo ku-interlocutor, yena (noma yena) uzobukeka ngeso elifushane emehlweni: kumele sithathe i-baton. Amagama abalulekile lapha "abukeka" futhi "ngokufushane": awukwazi ukubuka isikhathi eside emgomweni wokuzingela, noma kwenye indawo.

Iphutha elivame kakhulu ukuthi ukudlala abantu ngothando kubheka isikhathi eside emehlweni noma ngaphambi kokuzama ukuzondlana. Kokubili lokho, futhi okunye, okokuqala, kuholele kulowo nto ukuyeka ukuzizwa ukhululekile, futhi okwesibili, ukuhumusha ngokungalungile isignali etholakele. Amanye amadoda angcwaba amathemba abo esesiteji senkulumo yokuqala, lapho ezama ukuhoxisa ngowesifazane omthandayo, ekhohlwe ngisho nangezinye izikhathi ukuphakamisela amehlo akhe ebusweni bakhe.