Izinkimbinkimbi zobulili zamadoda aphelele

I-Psychotherapists iyaqiniseka - asinayo amakhilogremu engeziwe. Siqala ukuthayipha okungavamile ngenxa yezinkimbinkimbi, njengoJehova, nabantu abaseduze nathi. Futhi ikakhulukazi kubantu abagcwele, izinkimbinkimbi zesigaba sezocansi zibonakala. Ziyini lezi zinkimbinkimbi, kungani zivela nokuthi zingabhekana kanjani nazo?


Ngokuvamile, izinkinga esiteshini esiseduze sabantu abagcwele zivela ngenxa yechungechunge elibi kakhulu eliphansi. Izinkimbinkimbi eziphathelene nobulili kanye nenhliziyo, njengombuso, zinemibala engokomzwelo emibi. Imizwelo, evela eminye ekucatshangweni kobudlelwano bocansi, ingabangela ukwesaba, ukudideka, ukuhlangana nokunganeliseki nokona kwesenzo. Ngenxa yalokhu okuyinkimbinkimbi, umuntu angabhekana nenkinga hhayi kuphela kwisigaba socansi - ithonya linganikezwa empilweni yakhe yonke.

Ngokuvamile izinkimbinkimbi ngezizathu zocansi zibonakala kubantu abakhuluphele ngokweqile. Futhi akukho okumangalisa ngalokhu: uma ungahlangabezani nezindinganiso ezamukelwe emphakathini, kungenza kube nzima ukukhulumisana obuseduze. Kulesi simo, kunezindlela ezimbili nje zokuphuma: noma ngabe uhlala ekudleni bese uzithuthukisa wena nomzimba wakho emzimbeni owodwa noma ongaphansi, noma uzamukele njengoba ukhona emzimbeni wakho wamanje.

Yiqiniso, kuhle uma umuntu ezwa ukhululekile ngesibalo esikhulu futhi engakhathazeki ngakho. Kodwa-ke, isikhathi eside lokhu akukwazi ukuqhubeka futhi ubunzima ekukhulumisaneni nobulili obuhlukile kuzokwenzeka. Ngenkathi wenza uthando embhedeni, ngeke ube ngamabili, kodwa abathathu: umlingani wakho, wena nesisindo sakho esiningi, ukudala isimo esingakhululekile nokuphazamiseka ebuhlotsheni obuseduze. Ucabanga nje ukuthi kunzima kangakanani ukuthatha noma yikuphi ukuphakama lapho ibhande elilodwa lonyawo lwakho likhulu kunomlenze wentombazane ejwayelekile. Futhi lapho intaba yamafutha ikushaya, ngisho nasebhekeni elithambile - injabulo ayiyona emnandi.

Kusukela ezinkampanini zocansi kungabhekana nabameleli bobulili bobabili. Kodwa ngokuvamile kwenzeka, lapho ngenxa yezimo eziyinkimbinkimbi zomzwelo womuntu okungahambi kahle kuye kumlingani wakhe. Izinkimbinkimbi ezinjalo zahlukaniswa futhi zaqanjwa ngamagama amaqhawe adumile kanye nezinhlamvu zomlando.

Isixazululo seDon Quixote
Indoda ingacabanga ukuthi ingumkhono ohloniphekile ngezembatho ezikhazimulayo, othanda indodakazi ethandekayo yenhliziyo. Okwokuqala, owesifazane ogcwele, lokhu kungase kuhlanganise, uma eba into yokukhulekela. Le ndoda ekuqaleni ngeke ilalele ukushiyeka komdwebo wayo, ibonise indodakazi ngokuncoma kuphela. Kodwa ngokuvamile isimo sakhe sengqondo ngokuqondene nesifazane sishintsha ngokuphawulekayo: ngokuzumayo uyaqaphela ukuthi owesifazane wakhe akalungile futhi akukho lutho oluthandwayo luthando oludlule. Ngenxa yalokho, umnumzane akaqondi nje ukudumazeka (nguye kuphela osola ukuthi: kwakudingeka abheke owesifazane ngokubukeka okunengqondo kusukela ekuqaleni), kodwa futhi kubangela ukuhlukumeza okukhulu kumuntu owayengumthandi wakhe wangaphambili - akazange ashintshe, kodwa ngesizathu esithile bayeka ukufisa ukunikeza ukuncoma. Ngakho-ke, ngokumelene nalesi sizinda, cishe ngamaphesenti angu-100 amacala owesifazane angase abe nesimo esiphansi, ngisho noma engakaze abe nayo ngaphambili.

I-Don Juan Complex (uDon Juanism)
U-Donorism kwenzeka kulawo madoda angenalo ithemba emakhono abo obulili. Kodwa ukuba kwenzeke futhi uzizwe njengendoda yangempela, uzama ukudukisa abesifazane abaningi ngangokunokwenzeka. Umgomo oyinhloko ngaye ukuthi ulale ocansini nowesifazane, futhi emva kokuthandana nobusuku, isithakazelo sakhe kumngane wakhe sishabalalisa ngokushesha. Owesifazane akaqondi ukuthi kwenzekani, kungani le ndoda isilahlile kakhulu futhi iqala ukubheka izizathu ngaphakathi kwayo, ibambe iqhaza lokuzimba futhi ekugcineni kuholela ekubukeni kokungaqiniseki kanye nezinkinga ezihambisana nokubukeka kwayo.

Ngokuvamile, ubunzima bukaDon Juan bubonakala kumadoda anamafutha, ngoba amakhilogremu engeziwe kanye nomzimba okhukhulayo awunani ekwenzeni ukunakekelwa komuntu kumuntu wakhe. Amadoda amancane awabukeki emehlweni abesifazane. Futhi lokhu, ngendlela, isisekelo esenzelwe isayensi ngokwesayensi: amafutha amaningi kakhulu avimbela ukuthuthukiswa kwamahomoni ocansi. Futhi uma kukhona amahomoni ambalwa abesilisa, ukuziphatha kwalowo omela ubulili obunamandla akulona owesilisa. Lokhu kuzama ukudonsa emgqeni njengamantombazane amaningi ngangokunokwenzeka ukufakazela ukuthi "uyindoda".

I-Macho Complex
Le nkimbinkimbi ifana kakhulu neyaphambilini. Indoda enesisindo somzimba izama ukubonisa wonke umuntu ukuthi "uyindoda yangempela, owesilisa onobudlova", ngakho-ke angase abe ngamabomu ngamabomu, ebhizinisini futhi ngaphandle kokusebenzisa amagama ahlukile ngezwi, ekhombisa ukubukeka kwakhe kwesilisa ngokubonakala kwakhe konke. Ingxenye yesibili yomuntu onjalo akuyona enhle. Kumele abe ngumpumelelo ngokuphelele kuye, aphule izinhlayiya zothuli futhi zibe ezintathu kwelinye: unkosikazi embhedeni, intombazane endlini kanye nomngane wempi emphakathini. Futhi uma owesifazane engapheleli emfanekisweni (isibonelo, uphinde wabuyela kakhulu ngemva kokubeletha), khona-ke ingxenye yokugxeka okungaqondakali ngisho nokuhlukunyezwa komuntu kungase kuxoxwe ngakho. Umuntu ofanayo onenkinga ye-macho angaqonda ngokucacile ukuhluleka kwakhe embhedeni (futhi njengoba sekushiwo kakade, angase ahlotshaniswe nesisindo sakhe esinqunyiwe), okuyinto, empeleni, kuphela esonakalisa impilo yomuntu wonke.

I-Romeo Complex
Lapho umuntu ovelele waseRomao ethandana (ngokuvamile shazi), uqala ukucacisa uJuliet wakhe futhi akaqapheli amaphutha kuye. Uma intombazane yakhe ivele yabuyiselwa ngokuzumayo, khona-ke ingakwazi ukuhlanganyela ngokuphelele kulokhu. Ngokwemvelo, owesifazane uyoba buhlungu kakhulu ukubhekana nekhefu elinjalo futhi ukuthuthukiswa kwezinkimbinkimbi kuye kulokhu kuqinisekisiwe.

Kunezinhlobonhlobo zezinhlobo ezimbalwa zezintambo ezingaphansi kwezocansi kumadoda: Okucasula kakhulu ukuthi lezi zinkimbinkimbi zivimba indlela abesifazane abathanda ngayo, injabulo, inhlalakahle yomndeni kanye nokuphumelela komsebenzi. Ngokombiko, cishe u-50% wezocansi ezithandanayo aziwanelisekile ngemigomo yesibalo sabo, futhi abangaphezu kwezingu-90% banamahloni ukuba nobulili ekukhanyeni, okuzikhulumela ngokwaso: owesifazane othembekile uzobonakala ehamba enqunu phambi komuntu othandekayo. Uma lokhu kwenzeka kuwe, zama ukukhumbula: mhlawumbe othile wake wakubiza ngokuthi ukhuluphele futhi wakulimaza kakhulu? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi, akufanele ukhathazeke ngempela ngakho, ungayeki "ujamu" izinkimbinkimbi zakho nezinye izitsha ze-chocolate. Kungcono ukuthatha isibalo sakho, ngaleyo ndlela ubulala izinyoni ezimbili ngetshe elilodwa: uthole umzimba omuhle, unempilo futhi ulahle izinkimbinkimbi.