"Izinkinga zengqondo zentsha nezindlela zokuzixazulula" - isihloko sesihloko sethu sanamuhla.
Ukukhula kwentsha kuyisigaba esithile ekuthuthukisweni komuntu ngamunye, okukhona ezingxenyeni zangaphakathi nangaphandle zangesikhathi sokubuntwana kanye nesiteji sokwakheka okuphelele kommeleli womphakathi, ngokulandelana, isici esiyinhloko esihlukanisayo esiyizinguquko ezinkulu, eziboshwe ngesisekelo sokukhulelwa.
Kule nkathi ekhonjiwe ngenhla, lesi sidalwa esincane sithola injabulo engakaze ibe khona emiphefumulweni, ephindaphindiwe phakathi kwalokhu noma leso sinqumo, izikhathi eziphindaphindiwe ezihlanekezela lokho okwakubonakala sengathi kungokwezifiso ezingenakunqotshwa, ubuqiniso bokuba khona kwazo, bese bekhuphukela phezulu, bese behamba belahla kwalasha, baya elasha kanye nezinqumo ezingacatshangelwe, okuzokwenzeka esikhathini esizayo futhi kuzosithinta ukubuka komhlaba okuyisisekelo, ngoba abaningi bethu bathambekele ekusebenziseni umhlaziyi weqiniso wokuziphatha kwabo ukuze bathole ukuvumelanisa okuqondile nangaphakathi kwabo.
Isici esibaluleke kunazo zonke ekuguqulweni kwesimilo sokuziphatha ngokuphathelene nokuziphatha ukuvela komqondo wokuvunywa nokuqina, ukukhuluma ngokuphindaphindiwe ekhanda lakhe amagama athi "umuntu omdala, ngingenza okuningi", kunqabile ukuthi noma ubani empeleni uhlola isimo samanje, isikhathi eside ngaphambi kwendlela yokuphila yendawo yonke, yingakho kuleso simo kubaluleke kakhulu ukunikela inani eliphakeme lokunakekelwa nokunakekelwa kumuntu obhekene nethonya elibhubhisa lonyaka wesiguquko, Kuphela ngale ndlela ongayifinyelela ngayo kuphela ukugcwalisa ukuqonda okubili, kodwa futhi ngokugcwele ngokuthinta kahle uhlamvu lwethu.
Izinkinga zalesi sikhathi empilweni yomuntu zixoxwa ngokuningiliziwe ngokwanele yizingane ezisencane, kodwa, ngokuyinhloko, kusukela ekuboneni kwabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, intsha ngayinye ibonakala sengathi inkinga yakhe iyiphuthumayo futhi ayitholi ukuqonda phakathi kwanoma ubani.
Kodwa-ke, njengoba kuvela kamuva (okumangalisa kakhulu kulabo abasha ngokwabo), iningi lezinkinga liyancipha laba abambalwa, elihlelwe kahle.
Izinkinga zangaphandle
Izinkinga zangaphandle, isb. ukubukeka, kuthinta izinga elifanayo labafana namantombazane. Kungokuthi nje abafana bakhuluma ngakho kancane, becabanga ukuthi kufanele babhekane nakho konke ngokwabo.
2. Ukuziphatha ngokobulili
Ngalesi sikhathi, ukukhulelwa kakade sekuqala, okubhekene nokushintshashintsha kwezinga lamahomoni. Ukwenyuka kwesihloko se-hormone zobulili kubangela ukushisa okushisayo kwesifiso socansi, kokubili kubafana nasemantombazaneni.
3. "Nginguye ohlakaniphileyo"
Uma sicabanga ukuthi abantu abadala abaqondi kahle inkinga yabasha, izingane, ngokusekelwe esigabeni sesi-2, zama ukugwema ukukhuluma nabazali kuqala ngezihloko "zomuntu siqu," nangemva - ngokujwayelekile.
Ingxenye yama-maximalism ebusheni ihlotshaniswa nezici ze-psyche yenkathi yokuguquka, enye-ngesenzo se-hormone kanye ne-metamorphopsia (umbono ophikisayo womzimba), okwenza intsha isengozini kakhulu kunoma yikuphi ukugxekwa. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lapho isimo somzimba sigxilile, "izinkinga" eziningi zikhohliwe.
Ungakhohlwa ukuthi ukucindezeleka okubangelwa ama-hormone ebusheni kungabangela ezinye izifo futhi kwandiswe ukuhlukunyezwa.
Akungabazeki ukuthi umphakathi wesimanje wesimanje uthola umthelela omkhulu kwezobuchwepheshe bezokwaziswa, ngezinye izikhathi kuyingozi kakhulu.
Izigidi zabantu abasha kanye nabantwana abancane, umbono, umbono wabo hhayi abazali babo, kodwa izithombe zomculo, izinkanyezi ze-movie, ziba kuqala. Yini engalungile ngokuthi ingane ithathwe ngumlingiswa kusuka kusikrini sekhompyutha noma ithelevishini, ngoba lokhu kuyinto evamile kumuntu osemusha? Akukho lutho olubuhlungu, akunjalo, lokhu akusikho, ngoba wonke umuntu omdala wayeseyinsizwa yakhe kanye nomculo noma i-cinema. Umbuzo awukona ukuthi ukuvimbela ingane ukuba ibukele i-TV noma ikhuphuke kwiWebhu Yonke Yezwe, kodwa ukuthi ingane ayilahlekelwa isithakazelo kumbono womzali, ukuthi ilalela imibono kanina noma ubaba ukuze ingalahlekelwa isifiso sokukhuluma nabo, ukwabelana ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo noma injabulo. Ukuze ingane iqhubeke nokukhathazeka ngemibono yabazali, ngingathanda ukuchitha isikhathi hhayi esikrinini noma ekuqapha, kodwa emphakathini womndeni, abazali kufanele babonise isinyathelo esilungele njalo ekuhleleni imicimbi ehlangene engayithokozisa ingane yabo, kungaba ukuhamba ebhayisikobho, emakhonsathini womculi wakho ozithandayo, noma nje ukuhamba epaki, kuye ngokuthi isimo sengqondo noma isifiso somntwana. Iphutha eliyinhloko abazali abangayenza alikho ukubonisa isithakazelo ezithakazelweni zentsha, noma ngabe zihluke kakhulu ezifunweni zabazali ngokwabo. Ngenxa yokuthi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ingane izwe ukusekelwa kwabazali bayo, kulesi simo angeke amfune emndenini, ngaleyo ndlela asuke kuye. Kuyafaneleka futhi ukukhuluma ngalezo zimo lapho intsha, ifuna ikhompyutha noma ithelevishini, ayixhumani nabazali bayo nhlobo.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, kufanele kukhunjulwe ukuthi izimo ezinjalo azivuki ngokushesha, kodwa kungenxa yokuthi esikhathini esithile abazali bayeka ukunesithakazelo empilweni yengane yabo, futhi ngaleyo ndlela bazibophezela ngokuphelele ezweni lakhe langaphakathi. Indlela yokuphuma kule simo ibonakala kimi okulandelayo. Abazali kudingeka bazame ukuthola ukuthi yini intombazane enesithakazelo kuyo, iqinisekise kuye ukuthi akutholaki isifiso sakhe nje ukuchitha isikhathi. Ngemuva kwalokho, kungenjalo ingane izohamba ngisho nangaphezulu emndenini futhi kuleso simo kuzodingeka ukuthi uphendule usizo lwabachwepheshe.
Ngakho-ke, iseluleko okufanele sinikezwe abazali ukuze sigweme ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba kanye nesithakazelo engxenyeni yengane ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ngangokunokwenzeka nengane yabo, kubonisa isithakazelo ekubukeni kwayo kwezwe, ethonywe yizindaba ezimbi, ezama ukumthakazelisa futhi, okubonakala kubalulekile kuwe. Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, usuku olulodwa ukuya efilimu ngokuhlanganyela kwengane yakho ethandekayo, futhi ngosuku olulandelayo uzoya enkundleni yemidlalo nomndeni wakhe wonke.
Esimweni esinjalo, lo mfana ngeke avaliwe kuye, engafuni ukwabelana nabazali bakhe okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe nemicabango yakhe, futhi abazali, ngokwazi izinto ezithandwayo zomntwana, kuzomsiza ukuba afunde ezinye izindawo zokuzijabulisa.