Lapho kuvela izinkinga ezingokomzwelo, abazali kanye nezingane ngokuvamile basola icala lokuqala, ngokunembile, umzila wokuziphatha ngokomzwelo kwabazali ngokuphathelene nomunye nomntwana, ngenxa yalokho ingane ibuye ibe nemvelaphi ethile engokomzwelo, hhayi njalo inomusa. Lokhu kukhulunywa ngokukhethekile lapho umama nobaba bedlula ngokweqile: kungabanda kakhulu futhi kuyabuhlungu, hhayi ikakhulukazi ngokomzwelo mayelana nakho konke, kanye nengane yabo kanye. Noma abazali bajabule kakhulu futhi bacindezelwa imizwelo kukho konke okungahambisani nokuziphatha okulinganiselayo.
Ingane iyisiponji encane, ngakho-ke emva kwalokho ayinayo izinkinga ezingokomzwelo, kufanele uqale uzibheke: ngeke yini ube yindawo yokuzalanisa lezi zinkinga?
Manje masihlale sibhekene nezinkinga ezihambisana nesizinda sengqondo sabazali - ngoba kamuva ziveza izinkinga ezifanayo ezinganeni.
Izinkinga zemizwelo ezitholakala kubazali
Ingxenye yengonyama yalesi sigaba salesi sihloko esizoyibeka esimweni sengqondo somama, njengoba kunjalo, ake sithi, ukuhlolwa kwe-litmus okukhomba imizwa yengane yakhe.
Abaningi bamama omncane bahlala besesimweni sokucindezeleka. Kungani? Impendulo ilula. Sizwile okuningi kubomama nogogo ukuthi thina, isizukulwane esincane, asiqondi lutho emfundweni ngendlela ephelele, esingenakukwazi ukubhekana nayo ngisho nangenjazi - singakhulumi ngane, ukuthi thina ngokwethu siqala ukungabaza amakhono ethu. Futhi, endleleni, kakhulu kakhulu ngeze. Phela, izazi zezokwelapha zihlola ubudlelwane obungokomzwelo phakathi komama nengane, ziye zafakazela isikhathi eside ukuthi omama nabantwana abanokuthula nabanokuthula bazolile.
Kodwa uma ukhathazekile nganoma yisiphi isenzakalo: hhayi kakhulu esifubeni, ukondla kakhulu / kancane, awunamatheli kahle / ungabuki nhlobo, kodwa akufanele uthathe izandla zakho ngaleyo ndlela, ungamangali ukuthi ingane yakho iphendula ngokujulile ezungezile ukuthula futhi kuvame ukukhala nokukhala. Ngemuva kwakho konke, usesidleleni ukukhala nokukhala, ucabanga ukuthi awusebenzi. Ngakho-ke, iseluleko sami kuwe: siphala ngemibono yezihlobo, uma kungavumelani neyakho, bakhulisa izingane zabo, unezinye izimpilo neminye imithetho. Uma bekungakusizi, zama okungenani okwesikhashana ukuhlangabezana nabo, bavumele bavakashele kaningi. Uma kunzima kuwe ukukusho kubantu bakho bomuntu siqu -ukuthi umyeni ake achaze lokho, achaze ngobuhlakani futhi ehlakaniphile, ngoba ukuphikisana nezihlobo kuphela ngoba awunayo imibono efanayo ekukhuliseni kwengane, kuyisiwula.
Ngokuvamile abazali banezinkinga ezingokomzwelo ezihambisana neqiniso lokuthi zidinga kakhulu emvutheni. Ngikubiza ngokuthi usizi emqondweni, futhi kuyaqondakala ukuthi kungani. Namuhla, ulwazi oluningi olungafihliwe lufinyelela ekulahleni ngokugcwele kwabazali abasha nabangenalwazi, ukuthi bangakwazi ukulahlekelwa kuwo futhi badonse iziphetho ezingalungile. Okuyingozi kakhulu kulo mqondo kuyi-Internet. Ngemuva kwalokho, uma umama noma ubaba efunda, isibonelo, ukuthi ingane yabo kufanele sikwazi kanjani ukuyenza eminyakeni eyodwa noma enye, isekelwe kudatha eyabonwa enye ingane. Futhi bazama ukudlulisela emntwaneni wabo, bekhohlwa ukuthi zonke izingane zikhula ngendlela ehlukile, futhi ngezinye izikhathi kudingeka zikwazi ukulinda okuthile.
Kudingeka ukwazi ukuhlunga ulwazi - lo ngumthetho wokuqala wokusesha kwawo emithonjeni evulekile. Khumbula iqiniso elilodwa elilula: uma umakhelwane ephendukile ezinyangeni ezingu-5, kanti ingane yakho isivele isu-6, futhi engakwenzi ujabule ngokukhishwa kwakhe - akusona isizathu sokucabanga ukuthi ingane yakho ibuhlungu kakhulu. Futhi ngokuqinisekile asikho isizathu sokumsola ngalokhu. Ucabanga ukuthi akaqondi ukuthi awujabuli naye? Uphutha: ngisho nengane eneminyaka eyisithupha ubudala iyakwazi ukuyiqonda izwi lakhe futhi iqonde ngokubonisa ubuso bukababa nonina ukunganeliseki nokugxeka - futhi lokhu akusizi ukuthi uzizwe ephephile nawe. Ungamceli ingane into engenakuyenza. Ikakhulukazi kubakhathalela labo bazali abacatshangelwa zonke izindlela zokuthuthukiswa kwengane zakuqala.
Kubonakala sengathi yiziphi izinkinga ezingase ziphakame ngoba ingane isencane isifunda kakade izinto ezinzima kakhulu? Ukuqeqeshwa kobuchopho - futhi kuphela, usho. Kodwa cha, zonke izizukulwane - ukuqeqeshwa kwazo, akufanele uhlale nezinyane leminyaka eneminyaka emithathu edeskini bese uzama ukwengeza itafula lokubuyabuyelela ekhanda lakhe. Kulokhu kukhona isikole, kuneminyaka elula kakhulu futhi efanelekile - ngakho-ke ungazami ukugxuma ngaphezulu kwekhanda lakho. Into esemqoka eneminyaka emine yimidlalo, emidlalweni ungafundisa imvuthu cishe yonke into engqondweni yakho. Ngakho-ke, kungcono ukungabi nobuvila nokudlala okuningi, usebenzisa izinto zokufundisa, ukudlala ezinganeni zesikole - futhi izinzwa zomzali zizonakekelwa. Ngemuva kwalokho, uzobe usaqonda ngokushesha noma kamuva ukuthi umntwana akakwazi ukufunda konke okuzama ukumfundisa. Khona-ke inkani iyothathwa esikhundleni sokucasuka, okuyinto abazali abazoqala ukuyiveza emntwaneni. Futhi lokhu ngeke kuthinte ukuthuthukiswa kwayo ngendlela enhle.
Ukukhathazeka ngokweqile kwabazali kungenye inkinga engokomzwelo ebaluleke kakhulu kubazali, okungeke kwenzeke kodwa kuthinte ingane. Lokhu kubanda kungasuka ngqo kusukela ebuntwaneni bomama noma ubaba futhi kubonakale ekusithekeni kanye nokubonakaliswa okungavamile kwemizwa. Nakuba, mhlawumbe, kanye nezinye izenzakalo ezingathandeki empilweni yakudala zaphoqa abazali ukuba bavikeleke kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi ingane ayikwazi ukuthuthukisa ngokujwayelekile ngaphandle kokusekelwa, ukufudumala nokubonisa obala uthando, okungenani kunina. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu, kanti abanye odokotela bathi kubaluleke kakhulu! Lo mama noma ubaba angabhekana nalokhu kubanda, kubalulekile ukusekela - akukho lutho oluthanda uthando kanye nesizukulwane sokushisa phakathi kwabantu ngaphezu kokuxhumana ngokomzimba. Ngakho-ke, uvame ukumbumbana bese ucindezela enhliziyweni yengane yakho: ngakho-ke, kusuka enhliziyweni, ukukhombisa ukuthi uyithande kangakanani kuwe.
Imiphumela yezinkinga ezingokomzwelo ezivela kubazali ingaba izijeziso eziningi futhi ezingenangqondo ezithatha amagama angabangela impendulo evela kumntanakho. Futhi abazali bathukuthele, becabanga ukuthi uvele nje engenacala futhi engafuni ukubalalela, nakuba empeleni inkinga ibuyela emuva ngokujulile. Manje ngizokutshela ngamaphutha amathathu abazali abavame ukuwenza uma befuna ukujezisa ingane - futhi uthola iziphetho futhi ungawavumeli, ukuze ungaphuli ingane yengqondo yakho kusukela ebuntwaneni.
Uma ungajabuli - ke unganeliseki hhayi ngezingane, kodwa ngalokho akwenzile. Kufanele azi ukuthi wena, isibonelo, awujabuli iqiniso lokuthi udwebe iphepha lodonga, hhayi ngoba "ungumfana omubi futhi ongeyena, onguphi indawo ekhoneni."
- Ungamgxeka kakhulu futhi ungathandi imizwa ingane yakho ehlangabezana nayo. Uma ehudula ikati lomakhelwane ngomsila ekuthukutheleni, umgxeke ngokungahambi kahle, hhayi ngenxa yentukuthelo - ngemuva kwalokho, cishe kungenzeka, ngenxa yezenzo zekati. Mhlawumbe wanciphisa? Kodwa ukuchaza ingane ukuthi akulungile ukudonsa ikati - kuyadingeka
- Ungacabangi ukuthi uma uvame ukubonisa ingane ukuthi awujabuli ngezenzo zakhe, uma ulalela ngokwengeziwe uzokhula. Uzovele ujwayele ukuphendula ngendlela enjalo kuzo zonke izenzo zakhe futhi uzoyeka ukuqonda imfundo njengesikhalazo.
Izinkinga zomzwelo ezenzeka ezinganeni
Uma kulula kubantu abadala ukuthi banqume imbangela yenkinga yomzwelo, isimo nezingane sinzima kakhulu. Abakwazi ukuchaza ukuthi kungani baneziqu noma ezinye iziqhumane zomzwelo omubi ongalawulwa. Kodwa-ke, abazali bayakwazi ukuqonda umsuka womzwelo, uma bebazi ingane yabo ngokwanele. Ngakho-ke, isizathu salokhu kuziphatha kungaqedwa ngokuzimela noma ngosizo lwesazi sengqondo.
I-"iphuzu" lokuqala elingokomzwelo elivimbela ukuphila kwezingane eziningi kungukuhlukunyezwa. Ngokuqinisekile abazali abaningi baye baqaphela ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi izingane zabo zibonisa ukuhlukumeza ngokweqile kubo bobabili abadala kanye nezinye izingane. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuqeda ukuhlukumeza: lokhu kungumzwelo oye wasungulwa kithi ngamunye kusukela ekuzalweni. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ingane ibonisa imizwa enjalo. Mhlawumbe uyakunakwa, futhi uzama ukumheha ngale ndlela? Noma ingabe ufuna okuthile bese ekhala ezama ukuthola lokho akufunayo? Mhlawumbe, ngale ndlela uzama ukukhombisa ukuthi nguye oyinhloko: emndenini noma ekuhlanganyeleni kwezingane - akunandaba, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi ngokuziphatha okunonya ukukhwabanisa kwengane noma isifiso sakhe sokuphindiselela siboniswa komunye umuntu.
Ngokuvamile lokhu kuziphatha kubonakala ezinganeni ezinokuhlakanipha okuthuthukiswa kancane kunalokho okudingwa yisigaba sonyaka, noma le kid aziwazi ukuthi ingaba kanjani emphakathini futhi idlale nabangane, kaningi uyazihlonipha. Kukhona futhi amathuba okuthi ukuziphatha komntwana okuhlukumezayo kuxhomeke ekubeni nokwesaba okuqhubekayo kwesimiso sezinzwa esenzeka ngemva kokulimala kanzima noma ngenxa yezifo ezithile.
Abantu abadala bavame ukubhekana kanjani nalesi simo sezingane? Ngeshwa, basabela ukuhlukumezeka kobudlova, bezama ukuvimbela ukuzwa kwengane. Ngakho-ke, bavele bahlehlise lokhu kungavunyelwanga intukuthelo ekujuleni kwenhliziyo engaphansi, okuvusa ukukhanya okukhulu kwemizwelo emibi emva kwesikhathi.
Ngesikhathi umzali kufanele:
1) thola ukuthi yisiphi imbangela yokuziphatha okubi komntanakhe;
2) thumela amabutho othukuthele, abe esinye isiteshi: isibonelo, emva kokuqonda isimo, unikele ingane ukuthola enye indlela yokuphuma kuyo;
3) ukugxilisa emakhono amancane okuziphatha emphakathini;
4) kaningi ukuliphonsa emvelweni yezinye izingane, ufundise izinto eziyisisekelo zokuxhumana.
Izazi zengqondo zeluleka lapho umntwana ethukuthele, mema ukuba adlale ebhokisini le-sandbox, ngoba imidlalo nemhlabathi iyathulisa kakhulu ingane yengane.
Enye inkinga engokomzwelo evela ezinganeni yikhulu lokukhathazeka - okungukuthi, isimo sokukhathazeka njalo. Ukukhathazeka kubonakala kulabo bantwana, ngaphakathi kwabo okunye okungazibonanga okungabonakali okwenyukayo, okuyinto ephikisana nabo, ngokuvamile ngenxa yokuthi imvelo yabo idinga kubo into engenangqondo.
Futhi, ingane ingase isabe uma abazali bayo noma izihlobo eziseduze naye exhumana nabo njalo. Izingane zithinteka kakhulu umoya wesaba nokwesaba futhi zizithathele zona.
Lezi zingane zithemba - noma ngabe zenzani, zikholelwa ukuthi imiphumela iyoba yinto engalungile. Uma udweba izibalo zisuka esihlabathini - kumele uphule ezinye izingane, uma zidweba, bacabanga ukuthi unina ngeke athande umdwebo wabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izingane ezikhathazekayo zizithoba kakhulu, ezivela ekungaboni.
Abazali kufanele bazi ukuthi ukususa izinkathazo ebuntwaneni kuwumthwalo wabo wokuqala, ngoba ingane ayikwazi ukuthuthukisa ngokujwayelekile ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, ezibucayi kuye. Ngakho-ke, ngezindlela zonke zama, okokuqala, ukuqinisekisa ingane yakho ukuthi ayikho embi kakhulu kunabanye, kodwa wena ungcono kunazo zonke ezinye izingane emhlabeni. Mdumise nganoma yikuphi, ngisho nokuphumelela okuncane kakhulu, ukukhuthaza, ukudlala, ukukhukhuma nokukhuluma njalo ngokuthi uyamthanda kanjani nokuthi uyithande kangakanani kuwe. Mchaze futhi ukuthi yiziphi izimo eziphazamisayo - zama ukuyiqonda ndawonye ukuze ingane iqonde: akukho lutho olwesabekayo, akufanele ukhathazeke.
Omunye umzwelo ovimbela impilo evamile yengane ukwesaba. Asikhulumi ngokwesaba okujwayelekile okuvela kuzo zonke izingane: akusona ukwesaba ubumnyama noma "babiki". Omunye kufanele aqaphele ukwesaba uma kuningi, kakhulu kakhulu, futhi abengekho "ubudala" (okungukuthi, kubantwana).
Udinga ukuqonda ukuthi yini eyesabisayo ingane yakho nokuthi lokhu kwesaba kuvelaphi. Kodwa-ke, abazali abaningi abakwazi ukubhekana nale nkinga ngokufanele - kungcono ukungadabuki imali kanye nesikhathi futhi uthathe umcwaningi ochwepheshe ojwayelekile ozosiza ukuthola nokuqeda ukwesaba kwengane. Umsebenzi wabazali ukusekela ingane ngangokunokwenzeka bese uzama ukuvimbela isimo lapho umntwana esaba khona.
Njengoba ubona, uhlangothi lomzwelo empilweni yomndeni wonke lubalulekile, kubaluleke kakhulu, futhi awukwazi ukuzinaki - kungabangela imiphumela emibi, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa kumntwana. Ngifisa sengathi ukuthula kwengqondo nokuthula, ukubona nokuzwa okuzokwenza izingane zakho zikhule ngokomoya futhi zijabule!