Imodeli ngayinye yobudlelwane bomndeni inezinhlanganisela zayo nezincane, ngakho-ke akukwazi ukusho ukuthi imodeli eyodwa inhle kakhulu, kanti enye ingalungile. Umuntu ngamunye kufanele akhethe ukuthi yikuphi ubudlelwane bomndeni obamukelekayo futhi obuhle kuye, futhi lokhu kuxhomeke esimweni nasesimo sengqondo, nasekukhulisweni komuntu.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi umuntu azi: yiyiphi imodeli yobudlelwane eyamukelekayo kuye, futhi yikuphi ayamukelayo. Phela, ngokusho kweningi labangqondo, injabulo yabantu ebomini elihlangene ixhomeke kuqala kunoma yikuphi ukuthi imibono yabo mayelana nokuthi abalingani kufanele baziphatha kanjani ekuphileni komkhaya kuyavumelana. Ngemuva kwalokho, uma umuntu ekholelwa ukuthi into esemqoka emndenini kufanele ibe nguye, futhi owesifazane uyaqiniseka ukuthi igama lokugcina ekuxazululeni izinkinga zomndeni kufanele lihlale lingemva kwakhe, ngakho-ke umbhangqwana onjalo cishe uzolahlwa ukucaciswa okuqhubekayo kobudlelwane nokuphumula okusheshayo, ngisho naphezu kokufisa komzimba kanye nesifiso esiqotho sokuba khona.
Akuyona indlela engcono kunazo zonke izinto ezizobe zikhona kumlingani, uma indoda isetshenziselwa ukucabanga ukuthi umfazi kufanele axazulule izinkinga zomndeni wonke futhi enze izinqumo zokugcina kunoma yiziphi izinkinga, kanti lo wesifazane, ngalesi sikhathi, uzolindela kumuntu wokuzimisela nesinyathelo futhi akholelwe ukuthi uma engumuntu , kusho ukuthi kufanele axazulule izinkinga zakhe kanye nezakhe. Ngakho-ke, izazi zengqondo zomndeni zikholelwa ngokufanele, ziphikisana ngokuthi azikho amadoda nabafazi ababi nabalungile, kodwa kukhona abantu abahambisanayo nabangavumelani.
Amamodeli ayisisekelo ebuhlotsheni abathathu:
1. Imodeli yezinzalamizi. Kulesi sibonelo somhlobo, indima eyinhloko emndenini inikezwa oshade naye ozinikela ngesibindi ngomthwalo womndeni wakhe kanye naye, ngokuvamile ngaphandle kokubonisana nomkakhe, wenza izinqumo ezibalulekile mayelana nomndeni wonke. Umfazi, emndenini onjalo, ngokuvamile uthatha indima yomama wendlu nomgcini wendawo yokulala noma intombazane engenangqondo engabonakali lapho izifiso zayo zigcwaliseka ngokushesha ngobaba onothando nozinakekelayo.
Inzuzo ebuhlotsheni obunjalo ukuthi owesifazane uzizwa njengodonga lwamatshe ngemuva komyeni wakhe futhi akhululekile ekuzikhandleni kwakhe nezinkinga ezihlukahlukene zezwe nezinkinga. Indoda, nalesi simodeli sobudlelwane, ngokuvamile ayinalo kuphela uhlamvu oluqinile nolunqunyiwe, kodwa futhi luzuza kahle. Ukukhathazeka okuyinhloko kobudlelwane bomtjhado phakathi kwalabo abashadile ukuthembela ngokuphelele komyeni wakhe, ngezinye izikhathi kuthatha amafomu okwedlulele kakhulu futhi kusongela owesifazane ngokulahlekelwa ngokuphelele njengomuntu. Ukwengeza, uma umuntu ekhetha ngokuzumayo ukuhlukanisa, owesifazane oseneminyaka eminingi engazange ajwayele umzabalazo wokuphila, angazizwa engenelisekile futhi engakwazi ukukwazi ukubhekana nokuphila kahle, ikakhulukazi uma izingane zihlala naye, futhi lowo owayengumlingani uyobe esinciphisa indaba sisiza okungenani.
2. Imodeli yamatriarchal. Emndenini onjalo, indima yenhloko yomndeni yenziwa ngumfazi, ongekho kuphela olawula isabelomali futhi uthatha zonke izinqumo ezibalulekile emndenini, kodwa futhi njalo uzama ukuthonya izithakazelo nezokuzilibazisa zomlingani wakhe. Ubuhlobo obunjalo buvame ukubunjwa emndenini lapho owesifazane, okokuqala, ehola kakhulu kunomuntu, futhi okwesibili, unomlingani onamandla futhi akesabi ukuthatha kokubili umndeni futhi asebenze ngokujwayelekile emithwalweni yemadoda. Indoda ingabuye ijabule nobuhlobo obunjalo, uma ingafisa kakhulu ubuholi, futhi ikakhulukazi uma ebuntwaneni wayeseyisibonelo esifanayo sabazali. Ukuphazamiseka kobudlelwane obunjalo kungase kube yinto engenzeka ngokungazelelwe komfazi ngendoda enamandla, uma kuqhathaniswa nalowo oshade naye othobekile futhi othulile angase abonakale engamkhathazi futhi engathandeki kuye. Nakuba owesifazane oqinile futhi ohlukumezayo engenakwenzeka ukuba ahlale ngokuthula nomuntu onamandla futhi onamandla, ngakho-ke, kaningi kunalokho, abesifazane abanjalo, ngisho nalapho bakha ubudlelwano ohlangothini, bavame ukuyeka umyeni wabo okhululekile futhi ocolile.
3. Isibonelo somlingani. Ngalesi simodeli sobuhlobo, abashadile bavame ukulingana emalungelweni bese babelana ngamalungelo kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo. Okungcono, banesithakazelo esifanayo, futhi babhekwa njengehlukile kwabo, izithakazelo zomlingani. Emndenini onjalo, abashadile bavame ukuba nesimo esifanayo kanye neholo, elinganiki ithuba lomunye wabashade ukuba bazicabange kokuthile okungcono futhi baphumelele kunomlingani. Izinqumo ezibalulekile zomlingani zithathwa kuphela ngokubonisana kanye nemisebenzi yezomnotho yasendlini isatshalaliswa ngokulinganayo. Inzuzo yobuhlobo obunjalo yikhono lomlingani ngamunye ukwembulwa emshadweni ngokwawo njengomuntu kanye nokuzikhethela okuhlukile. Futhi okuncane kungase kube umqondo wokuphikisana okuvele phakathi kwalabo abashade kanye nesifiso sokuthola umlingani ngendlela ethile, okungaholela ekupholiseni kancane kancane phakathi kwabashade nokuhlukaniswa ngokuhlanganyela. Ukuvimbela lokhu ukuthi kungenzeki, akufanele kube nje ukukhathazeka nokuzwelana phakathi kwalabo abashadile, kodwa futhi kufanele bahloniphe.