Okokuqala, qaphela izimpawu zangaphandle zokuziphatha komuntu.
Uma u-interlocutor wakho ekhwehlela ngenhliziyo, ephefumula kakhulu, ama-stutters, evame ukukhanya, ebunzini lakhe limbozwa ngamaconsi okuthuthumela, ubuso bakhe bubukeka bubomvu noma bubuhlungu, ngokuvamile bukhohlisa izindebe, konke lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi ukhuluma amanga.
Ukuze uqonde ukuthi ngabe umuntu uyakhohlisayo noma cha, udinga ukwazi okuyisisekelo kakhulu sokuxhumana okungakhulumi. Qaphela izinyathelo zakhe nezibonakaliso umzimba wakhe onika zona.
Umuntu okhuluma iqiniso, ufihle amehlo akhe, ugweme ukuxhumana kwamehlo nomxhumanisi. Ngokuvamile uthinta ubuso bakhe, uhlanganisa umlomo wakhe ngokungathinteki, uthinte isifuba sakhe enhliziyweni. Ukuthinta kwe-interlocutor kunomkhawulo futhi akuphephile. Ngesinye isikhathi, ngokuphambene nalokho, umqambimanga anganikeza ukugaya ukuguquka okukhulu. Isibonelo, njalo ulungisa izingubo, izinwele, ususa emotweni, ama-gloves okugcoba, iminwe eminwe, ukugubha izandla. Ngesikhathi umuntu ekhuluma amanga, angakwazi ukugoqa unyawo lwakhe phansi, ahlele kabusha izinto etafuleni. Ngelinye igama, ukuziphatha ngokungapheli.
Ukusabela kokuqala kuyiqiniso kakhulu. Uma, emva kombuzo wakho, amehlo e-interlocutor aveza ukungabaza, ukudideka, ukungaqiniseki, futhi uthi kulo mzuzu sengathi uqinisekile, kufanelekile ukudweba iziphetho.
Umuntu angacabanga okwesikhashana ukuba aphendule impendulo oyithandayo noma eyoyihlela, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele. Vumelana ukuthi uma umuntu ekhuluma iqiniso, ngeke acabange. Qaphela futhi ukuxhumana kwezenzo namagama. Uma, ngempendulo enhle, i-interlocutor igubha ikhanda lakhe kabi, noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, ihlobanisa ikhanda lakhe ngokuqinisekisile, ukubiza amagama amabi, cishe, kusho ukuthi utshele ukuthi ufuna ukuzwa, hhayi iqiniso.
Njengomthetho, abantu abaqamba amanga, bathathe isikhundla sokuzivikela, zama ukuzithethelela ngokwabo. Labo abakhuluma iqiniso baya phambili. Kodwa-ke, ungakhohlwa ngezwi elidumile "ukuzivikela okungcono - ukuhlaselwa".
Ukuqamba amanga akujabulisi, ngakho-ke umxhumanisi wakho angazama ukushiya insimu yakho yombono, isibonelo, ukuxhomeka emnyango, cishe efihle ngemuva, ehluleke esihlalweni sezingalo, njll. Ngaphandle kokuqonda, umqambimanga angakha umgoqo phakathi kwakho ngendlela yendebe, incwadi, isitimela, i-vase, noma yimuphi omunye into ongayifinyelela.
Lapho uphendula imibuzo yakho, umuntu usebenzisa amagama akho, ephendula ngesifingqo esifingqiwe. Uzama ukukhuluma ngamazwi, esikhundleni sokukusho ngokuqondile. Umkhohlisi uzokusho amazwi amaningi, echaza yonke imininingwana encane, ezama ukungakuvumeli ukuba ufake igama. Naka ithoni ye-interlocutor. Izwi eliphakeme lezwi lizokutshela ukuthi umuntu uhlangabezana nokukhathazeka nokuzizwa kabi. Inkulumo ekhohlisayo yomqambimanga yenzelwe ukuqapha.
Uma usola ukuthi umuntu ukukhohlisa, zama ukuhumusha ukuxhumana kwenye isihloko. Umqambimanga ngenjabulo enkulu uzosekela lo mbono, ngoba ufuna ngempela ukuqeda ingxoxo engathandeki ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Abangenacala bayakuphikelela ekuqhubekeleni ukucacisa ubuhlobo kuze kube yilapho ubulungiswa behlula, futhi zonke izinsolo ngeke ziphakanyiswe kuye. Ubuningi bokuthuka nokuhleka usulu enkulumweni ye-interlocutor kuyimpawu yamanga. Uma, empeleni, ekuphileni okuvamile lokhu akuyona into evamile yokuxhumana komuntu othile.
Uma uthola zonke lezi zimpawu engxoxweni nomndeni wakho noma abangani bakho, ungenzi iziphetho ngokushesha. Mhlawumbe lokhu kuyindlela yabo evamile yokuxhumana?