Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi indoda ijwayele intombazane, imthanda kakhulu, ilungele ubuhlobo naye, futhi ibonakala nayo. Wena, bobabili kungenzeka kakade baba yindoda enhle, futhi abavinjelwe lapha. Kodwa lo muntu, ngenxa yezizathu ezingaziwa, ungena esimweni "sokumisa okwesikhashana", lapho engenzi lutho, kodwa imizwa yakhe ngentombazane iyaqhubeka ikhula. Kodwa, empilweni, kwenzeke ukuthi amantombazane angenalo umbuso onjalo, okungukuthi, abanayo "imodi yokumisa". Futhi kusho ukuthini lokhu?
Njengoba intombazane ingeke ithathe isinyathelo sokuqala, akukho lutho oluzokwenzeka, kodwa imizwa yakhe ngaye ... Uzobe ngumngane wakhe kancane kancane. Futhi indoda enjalo enobudlelwane ngeke ihlele. Bayoba abangane kahle iminyaka eminingana, kodwa emva kweminyaka embalwa uzamazama ukusondela kuye, naphezu kwezakhiwo zakhe ezahlukene. Kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Ngenxa yokuthi le ndoda isivele ibheka kahle le ntombazane, iyayazi kahle manje. Ungakwazi ukusekela njalo esimweni esinzima, kodwa intombazane ayiyidingi ... Kunomthetho othakazelisayo ochaza nokuthi kungani amadoda ethanda ukubuyela kumuntu wangaphambili.
Okokuthi, kufanele uqonde ukuthi abesifazane bathanda ukufunda okuthile okusha, futhi amadoda ahluke kakhulu, balungele ubuhlobo obuseduze nentombazane kuphela ngemuva kokuthi bamazi kangcono, ngoba lokho kuzobangela izinkinga ezincane.
Ungacabangi ukuthi wonke amadoda ahlangana nomlingani wabo womphefumulo ngale ndlela - akunjalo. Amadoda angaqala ukuthatha izinyathelo ezinkulu futhi ekuqaleni - lokhu kwenzeka kaningi. Futhi yilokho kanye lezi zibini eziphikisanayo, kanti intombazane iqala ukuzibuza umbuzo emva kokuba umfana ashiya: "Kungani indoda ithanda ukubuyela kumuntu wangaphambili? ".
Amadoda afana nokubuyela kumuntu wangaphambili ngesizathu esihle. Kukhona izincazelo eziningi kulokhu, kodwa manje sizozama ukuthola lokho okubuyela kithi ngemuva kwakho konke.
Ekuqaleni asizange sitshele ngokungaziwa ngokuhluleka kwamadoda, khumbula? Mayelana nendlela eba ngayo umngane ngezikhathi nezinto. Isimiso esifanayo nesehlukaniso. Ake sicabange isimo esimisiwe: uhlala nomyeni wakho iminyaka emibili, konke kuhle; Sekuyiminyaka engu-6 manje, uqala ukuthukuthela, umyeni wakho uqala ukukugqugquzela, kahle, kanye namanye amaqiniso angalungile angavela esikhathini eside impilo yomunye nomunye. Ngemuva kweminyaka eyi-10 yokuhlala ndawonye, uyaqonda ukuthi awuhambisani ndawonye. Kunezinhlobo ezimbili zokuthuthukiswa kwemicimbi: unabantwana, wena wedwa. Yilokho okuyiyona nto ebalulekile ekuhlukaniseni. Uma unabantwana, uzobahawukela, futhi ngeke uhlanganyele, futhi ekugcineni uzoqonda ukuthi wenze konke okulungile. Kodwa uma ungumndeni ongenamntwana ... konke kungaqedwa kalula ekuhlukaniseni.
Ngakho-ke, manje sidinga ukulandelela indlela yokuphila yowesifazane ngamunye emva kwesahlukaniso. Le ntombazane inamathuba amaningi okushada futhi, ngeke imiswe. Yena, ezimweni eziningi, uzokwenza lokho nje. Ngokuqondene namadoda, ngakho konke kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Kodwa noma ngabe uyothanda lokhu, ngoba umshado wakhe wokuqala waphela ekuhlulekeni, kukhona kungenzeka ukuthi okwesibili kuzophela ngalendlela. Ngeke athande lokhu, uqala ukucabanga ukuthi uzochitha kanjani impilo yakhe. Uqala ukukhumbula izikhathi ezinhle zokuphila ne-ex-intombi yakhe, ukuthi konke kwakungcono kanjani, njll. Futhi uyaqaphela ukuthi yena, oyedwa kuphela, uyamdinga. Uqala ukumbiza, baqala ukuxhumana futhi konke kuqala ukuphucula, futhi noma ngabe banenhlanhla, bazophinde baphinde baqale umshado wabo. Khona-ke konke kufanele kuhambe "njenge-clockwork", ngakho-ke ngokuvamile kwenzeka. Lena yindlela yokuqala.
Kunesinye isizathu esenza uhlukanise, kahle, amadoda afana nokubuyela kumuntu wangaphambili. Konke mayelana nomgomo ofanayo. Njengoba esehlala ndawonye isikhathi esithile, uyaqaphela ukuthi ufunde kahle kakhulu, angenza konke okungahle kukuhle kuwe. Waqoqa lonke lolu lwazi iminyaka eminingi, futhi waphumelela. Manje yena, okwamanje, uhlala ngokwakhe futhi uyaqonda ukuthi le ntombazane entsha izokwazi ukuqoqa lolu lwazi futhi. Kodwa kungani, ngoba kukhona kakade intombazane eyazi kahle, naye naye? Emva kwakho konke, ungaqhubeka ubuhlobo futhi uqhubeke uphila, njengokungathi akukho okwenzekile. Ngakho-ke kwenzeka kaningi, futhi ufanelana nomuntu wonke, ngoba akenzi noma ubani kube nzima nakakhulu.
Isizathu esivamile sokuhlukanisa siyisikhathi esinjenge "umlutha". Uhlala isikhathi eside kakhulu komunye nomunye, ukhathele omunye nomunye, ufuna okungenani uhlobo oluthile lokuhlukahluka. Kukhona isehlukaniso, futhi ukuqhubeka, ngezinye izikhathi, akunakwenzeka. Ukuze ugweme lokhu, udinga ukuhlala kahle emshadweni. Yenza okungenani ezinye ezihlukahlukene empilweni yakho ndawonye. Zama okusha. Ngempela, amadoda aqotho kakhulu, afuna ukuhlala nomunye intombazane embhedeni, kodwa akakwazi ukwenza lokhu. Futhi, yebo, akeke umvumele enze lokhu. Khona-ke, ejulile ekuzileni, unomqondo. Ngizohlanganyela nawe isikhashana, uhambe kancane, bese ubuyela kuwe. Yilokho, kucacile ukuthi umyeni wakhe uzofuna ukubuyela emuva, ngoba wakwenza okwesikhashana. Wayefanisa konke emshadweni, wayefuna nje ushintsho, yilokho kuphela.
Yingakho abesifazane besondelene kakhulu kudingeka bazinake izifiso zomyeni wakhe. Phela, hhayi kuphela eyakho, kodwa futhi izifiso zakhe kufanele zigcwaliseke. Khona-ke amathuba okuwa komshado aphansi kakhulu. Ungagwema izingxabano ezingadingekile ezivela ezintweni ezincane.
Sihlaziye izizathu eziyinhloko zokuthi kungani amadoda eshiya abesifazane bese ezama ukubuyela. Lezi zizathu zifanelekile kulabo abashadile abanobuhlobo obuhle, futhi bahlangene ndawonye, kodwa imishado emide manje iyinarity. Iseluleko esiyinhloko: emva kokuhlukaniswa akukasheshi ukukhohlwa othandekayo wakho, ulindele ukuba abize, noma, nakuba ukuziqhenya kwakhe kungavumi, mbize yena. Khuluma naye ngokuphila, buza ukuthi wayengathandi ngani ngokuhlala nawe, mhlawumbe ungalungisa lezi ziphutha futhi konke kuzokukusiza.