Lo mbhangqwana uchitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, futhi azikho izihloko ababengazikhulumi ngazo. Kodwa-ke, njengemibhangqwana eshadile, abalingani abasha abakhulumi ngisho nangezocansi, noma lesi sihloko asikhulumi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi emphakathini, igama elithi "ubulili" lishintshwa yimibono enjengokuthi "mayelana nayo" noma "isihloko esiqondile". Nakuba phakathi kwabantu kanye nesihloko socansi, nakwezinye izihloko zokuphila akufanele kube yikuphi ukuvinjelwa. Kodwa amantombazane angakwazi ukwabelana kalula nazo zonke izimfihlo zabo eziseduze nezintombi zabo, kunokuba nomngane noma umyeni wabo. Kukhona inkolelo yokuthi izingxoxo ezinjalo zivame ukuholela ekubhujisweni kwenyunyana.
Ubuhlobo bobulili buyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu futhi bubucayi. Ukungahambisani nalokhu kule ndaba kungaholela emiphumeleni enzima. Ukusebenzisana ukwabelana ngezinkinga zabo zocansi kungathinteka kakhulu. Ukuhlupheka kwabantu kuhambisana nokucindezeleka, i-migraines nezinye izinkinga zempilo. Ngendlela, i-World Health Organisation - I-WHO iye yafaka izinkinga zobulili ekubhaleni kwayo izifo ezibi kakhulu.
Uthando ngumzwelo omuhle owenza abantu bathembele. Ngakho-ke, ubudlelwane obuthandanayo bungaba yisifo sangempela. Kungabangela izimo ezihlukahlukene zengqondo nezinkinga. Izimo ezinjalo zingaxazululwa kuphela ngezingxoxo nezingxoxo.
Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi akuwona wonke uthando nomzwelo wezocansi ongaba nempilo. Izazi zemiqondo zithi imizwa evamile yothando kanye nezifiso zobulili zivela ezintweni ezivamile kanye nokuhloniphana. Ebudlelwaneni obunjalo, abashade nabalingani kufanele baxhasane, baxoxe nganoma yisiphi isihloko bese bethola izimfanelo ezingenalo. Ukuze lezi zici zivele, akudingeki ukuthi uchithe isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, kodwa futhi ukukhuluma ngezihloko ezingenacala.
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bokuthandana, abantu abathandekayo bazizwa bephakanyiswa ngokomzwelo, bahlukana nokuyiqiniso. Ngisho noma abathandi belele kancane, badla kancane, bazizwa bejabule futhi beqine. Kodwa noma yisiphi isigaba sokuxhumana esidlulayo.
Odokotela bangaqinisekisa ukuthi uthando lunobuthi. Emzimbeni womuntu othandweni, izinto ezikhethekile ezifana nezikhuthazo ziqala ukuthuthukiswa. Izakhiwo zifana kakhulu nezidakamizwa - yi-serotonin ne-phenylethylamine. Lezi zinto zingabangela ukuqhuma nokudlulela kwe-adrenaline. Eminye amaphuzu ebuhlotsheni, kungase kube khona ukukhathazeka nomlingani. Lapha kumacala anjalo kuyadingeka ukuthi ukhulume, kepha uma amadoda ekulungele ukukhuluma, amantombazane akafuni ukukhuluma ngezihloko ezingenacala.
Ukukhuluma ngezihloko ezifanele kungabaxazulula imibuzo enzima kakhulu. Ngokushesha ngemva kwengxoxo, intombazane iqala ukukhanya, ngaphezu kwalokho, iyanyamalala izikhathi zokulimaza nokuzizwa kabi. Othandayo embhedeni baqala ukuzwa imizwa emisha. Indoda iqala ukubonisa ukunakekelwa ngisho nokwenza izifiso zobulili. Amantombazane aqeda zonke izizinda zabo. Ngemuva kwengxoxo enengqondo okuningi sekuvele kunqunywe embhedeni. Amantombazane aqala ukwenza izinto ezingazange zenzeke ngisho nangabathandi abathandekayo. Khumbula ukuthi ukugwema ingxoxo engaqondile, kungabangela ukuhlukana kothando noma ubudlelwane bomndeni, abalingani bazoqala ukufuna enye into.
Amantombazane azikhethela bona abalingani bobulili, bese kuthiwa ama-satellite okuphila, anemfanelo ephuphayo. Ngemuva kwemihlangano ethile, angathola ukuthi umlingani wakhe akayona indoda yamaphupho. Ezimweni ezinjalo, amantombazane aqala ukuziphatha ngendlela ehlukile. Amanye amantombazane, elahlekelwe izibuko zawo ezinemibala, aqaphele ebuhlotsheni bawo. Abanye baqala ukubheka ngokwengeziwe nangokwengeziwe, babe ngabodwa futhi bazame ukungamthwalo lo muntu ngezifiso zabo. Futhi lawo namanye amantombazane ama-psychologists batusa ukukhuluma nomlingani wabo.
Ososayensi bathole ukuthi ukungafuni ukubhekana nezinkinga noma ukuhlehlisa isinqumo sabo esikhathini esizayo ngeke kusize ebuhlotsheni. Phela, izindaba eziningi zobudlelwane bocansi zingasombululwa kuphela ngosizo lomlingani.
Usosayensi owaziwayo waseMelika waseNew York, uSara White uphatha iziguli zakhe ezinamahloni ngekhadi. Ngokuvamile iziguli zivula imiphefumulo yazo kubazi-psychologists. Nangu udokotela oneminyaka engu-24 ubudala uSara White uqobo wakhe wanquma ukuzibopha phambi kweziguli zakhe ngomqondo wangempela. Okokuqala, isazi sezokwelapha sihlangana neziguli ezembatho. Phakathi nendaba yabo, uqala ukuthatha izingubo zakhe. Ekugcineni, uthatha ama-panties akhe futhi asakaze imilenze yakhe. Ngokwesazi sezengqondo saseMelika, ubunqunu benza abantu baqonde ngokwengeziwe. Ingxoxo ephukile iqoqa ama-interlocutors kuya emgodini. Isikhathi esisodwa se-thrapie ye-nude sinenani lika-$ 150. Ngendlela, iningi lala maklayenti kaSara White ngabesifazane. Nakuba izazi ze-psychologists zibona le ndlela yokwelashwa kwengqondo njengokuziphatha okubi kocansi, kungani amahloni amantombazane angazange aqiniseke ngalokhu. Intombazane ingadlala indima yesiguli, futhi indima yodokotela ohambayo izofika kumfana. Kungenzeka ukuthi le ndlela iyinguquko, kodwa le ndlela izokusiza amantombazane ukuba anqobe amahloni abo emvelo futhi abe nengxoxo enengqondo mayelana nobulili.
Amantombazane akafuni ukukhuluma ngezihloko ezingenangqondo, elandela ukucwasa okuningi. Kodwa kuzodingeka ngikhulume ngokukhululekile noma kunjalo. Ngezinye izikhathi kudingeka nje uqale ingxoxo, mhlawumbe indoda iye yafuna lokhu isikhathi eside futhi inokuhlakanipha ukusekela intombi yakhe. Kungomunye wabalingani okudingayo ukuthola amandla kuye, futhi uvule kuqala. Amantombazane akufanele asabe izingxoxo ezithandanayo. Kubalulekile ukutshela ngazo zonke izinkinga zakho noma izifiso zakho. Akufanele kube khona izinkinga phakathi kwabantu abanothando ababakhathazayo. Yebo, nomlingani ngeke ahlukumeze ukuthola ukuthi bangenzani okungalungile. Kungcono ukwabelana ngalokhu ngesigamu sesibili kunomngani.