Ayikwazi ukuba yedwa
Amanye amadoda awakwazi ukuhlala ngokwawo. Ngenxa yenkimbinkimbi ethile kanye ne-psychology, umfana onjalo udinga owesifazane ukuba abe ngumfana. Uma ehlukana nenye, khona-ke uthola indawo esikhundleni sakhe. Amadoda anjalo awakhethi ngokukhethekile. Uma owesifazane engaphansi noma ephansi ewahlela ngokubukeka nangokuziphatha, khona-ke uzoba naye ndawonye kuze kube yilapho isimo sakhiwa ukuze kudingeke bahlukane. Laba bantu bangakhuluma ngothando nangemizwa ejulile, kodwa empeleni ababona. Lolu hlobo lomuntu luzilungiswa ngokwengeziwe kuye, njengoba bezama ukubhekana nesizungu sabo nganoma iyiphi indlela, hhayi ngokuyinhloko kulabo abakhethile njengendlela yokuxazulula le nkinga. Futhi ekubukeka kubonakala sengathi banothando futhi banothando. Kodwa empeleni, insizwa enjalo yenza okuthile ngentombazane yakhe kuphela ngoba ifuna ukuhlala iseduze. Uma impilo yomuntu enjalo ingowesifazane, kulula ukubhekana nalezi zinkimbinkimbi. Ukulalela owesifazane omuhle, insizwa enjalo ithola ithuba lokulwa nezinkimbinkimbi zakhe, okungeke azikwazi ukunqoba yedwa. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, angazicabangela ngokugcwele imizwa yakhe njengothando, ngoba ucabanga ngabo ngokungafani. Kumfana onjalo, izinkinga eziyinhloko zihlale zizinkinga zakhe. Ucabanga okuningi ngaye ngokwakhe futhi wenza konke ekuphileni njengoba ezoba lula ngabo. Amantombazane abanjwe eceleni, ngokushesha aqaphele lokhu, kuqala bazama ukushintsha okuthile, bavele bahambe nje. Futhi amadoda, enza umzamo owodwa wokuhluleka ukuguqula owesifazane, "uyiguqule esandleni sakhe" futhi athole umthombo omusha wona ukuze alwe nezinkinga zawo.
Bonisa
Akuwona ngaso sonke isikhathi amadoda athola uthando olusha. Kungokuthi abaningi babo bafuna ngempela ukukhombisa okuthile bese befakazela kubo. Yingakho abantu baqala ukuphola othile. Njengokuhlukile, benza sengathi bahlangana. Kulesi simo, isizathu salokhu kuziphatha yizo zonke izakhiwo ezifanayo kanye ne-ego yesilisa evinjiwe. Umfana ucabanga ukuthi angangishiya kanjani, ngakho-ke ohlakaniphileyo, omuhle futhi ongcono? Cha, ngizofakazela ukuthi ngidinga umuntu futhi wayephutha ngokwenza lokhu. Eqondiswa yizicabango, le nsizwa iqala ukugijimela emakilabhu nakwezinye izindawo, kunamantombazane amaningi amahle futhi uthola umuntu ongaboniswa kuwo wonke umuntu njengokwentando yakhe entsha. Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, abantu abavame ukulalela ukuhlakanipha kwamantombazane amahle nokuhambisana kwabo ekuthandweni nasekuthandeni. Konke lokho kuvela ngemuva, ngoba endaweni yokuqala umfana kudingeka aqinisekise amandla akhe omzimba nokuheha. Futhi ngenxa yalokhu, akadingi umngane onokwethenjelwa wokuphila, kodwa ubuso obunhle, ukuthi ngubani ojwayele ukukhuluma naye kanye namahemuhemu azofinyelela eyokuqala.
Yebo, ukwenza lokhu kuphansi kakhulu futhi kuyisiphukuphuku. Kodwa abantu abaningi abakwazi futhi abafuni ukuqonda ukuthi umhawu ngeke uphindele kowesifazane. Yebo, angaba nomhawu, kodwa uma intombazane eqhubeka eqhuma, ngoba wayengajabuli ngempela ngobuhlobo bayo, ngakho-ke imzungezile ngamamodeli, isoka lakhe langaphambili ngeke likwazi ukumphoqelela ukuba libuyele, ngoba umhawu kuleli cala ulahlekelwe kakhulu ngaphambi kokucabanga okunengqondo ukuthi Yiqiniso, kunenkosikazi enjalo. Ngakho ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukukhathazeka ngoba umfana wangaphambili nje ukhohlwe ngawe, ubheke isimo. Mhlawumbe, kulo mzuzu wenza konke ukubiza lokho okuhlangenwe nakho, futhi awudingi ngempela. Ngakho-ke, ungashukumiseli injabulo yakhe ngemibono yakhe kanye nemibono yakhe ezenzakalweni ezibonisa ukuthi ngubani onakho olandelayo. Futhi nakakhulu ngakho ungakhulumi ngomuntu omusha ngokwakhe. Uma uqala ukusabela ekuziphatheni kwakhe, umphumela uzotholakala futhi uzodinga ukuhamba isikhathi eside kakhulu emjikelezweni ovaliwe, lapho uzama ukuhlukana khona, futhi le nsizwa izokwenza ngazo zonke izindlela ukuthi umhawu wakho ubuyisele.
Wayengathandi nje
Ngeshwa, isizathu sokushintsha okusheshayo kowesifazane komunye wesifazane kungase kube yinto yokuthi insizwa ayithandanga nje eyangaphambili noma ayizange izwe naye isikhathi eside. Mhlawumbe waqala ukuhlangana naye njengaleyo, futhi wabe esebonakala ejwayele. Noma u-ona-uyabulala owesifazane uyamthanda, ngakho wayenaye, kodwa enhliziyweni wayefuna ukuthi onasama aqedele ubuhlobo. Ngokuvamile, abesifazane babhekene naso ngoba le nsizwa yathola ngokushesha ukuthi bayothatha isikhundla lapho abesifazane bebaqashi bokuhlukaniswa. Lapho amadoda enquma ukuhamba, isimo sicacile, ngoba ukunakekelwa kungenxa yomunye, noma ngoba umfana angathandi. Kodwa lapho intombazane iphakamisa ukuqeda ubuhlobo, khona-ke iyacaca ukuthi lo mfana ngokushesha angakhohlwa kanjani ngaye.
Kulokhu, amadoda ngokuvamile ayesaba. Bavele besaba ukuthatha umthwalo wokuhlukanisa, ngakho-ke benza konke okwenza owesifazane afune ukuwashiya, kodwa azithathi isinyathelo ngokwabo. Lapha, yonke into iyoba, njengama-amacala adlule, kuphela ezindlini zabantu. Umfana ufuna ukubi emehlweni omphakathi, wesaba ukulahlekelwa isikhundla sakhe, esaba ukuthi abantu bayodumazeka kuye futhi baphenduke. Yingakho insizwa ivele imangale lapho owesifazane wenhliziyo ezokhathala ngokuziphatha kwakhe futhi uzokwenza isinqumo sokumshiya. Futhi-ke unembeza ocacile uqala ukwakha ubuhlobo obusha. Esimweni esinjalo, abesifazane akudingeki bacabange ukuthi babi kakhulu kunento entsha ngaphandle kwentombazane entsha, ukuzwakalisa ngokwabo kanye nezimpande ezimpilweni zabo zomphefumulo. Kulula nje, sonke singabantu abahlukene futhi ngamunye wethu kufanelekile ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinile, kanti omunye umuntu uyisinyathelo esiphakathi okumelwe sidluliselwe futhi sikhohlwe. Ngakho-ke, akukaze kudingekile ukuzwa nokukhumbula izinkumbulo. Ngokuvamile, uma umfana enza lokhu, ke umuntu obuthakathaka, kuye ngokuthi umbono jikelele. Futhi ngomuntu onjalo kunzima kakhulu ukwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile noqobo, ngoba uzohlale ehlala ngeso lenye. Ngakho-ke, uma ubona ukuthi le nsizwa yaqala ukuhlangana nentombazane entsha, vele umfake inhlanhla futhi uvule inhliziyo yakho ngemizwa nemibono emisha. Ukuthi lowo owayekade engakuthandi ngokwanele akuyona into embi kakhulu futhi eyesabekayo. Uthando ngumzwelo ongafika futhi uhambe, kodwa ngesifundo, ngesigamu sakho sangempela ungakwazi ukuthwala uthando kuze kube sekupheleni kokuphila kwakho. Kudinga nje ukuhlangabezana nalowo muntu othize.