Kufanelekile ukukhuluma ngamaforamu omndeni ku-Inthanethi mayelana nesimiso sikababa, futhi izimpi ezinzima zidlalwa phakathi kwezivakashi, ikakhulukazi abesifazane. AmaMama ephikisana ngokuthi ukuchaza kahle kakhulu umqondo ka "ubaba omuhle", yiziphi izimfanelo lo muntu okufanele abe nazo, omunye umuntu umele isikhundla sokuthi akukho nhlobo lwesimo sokhokho futhi abapapa baqala ukuxhumana nenzalo yabo kuphela uma kuba mnandi (ungakhuluma, udlale ibhola, njll.) Amanye omama abiza lokhu okungenangqondo futhi bakhulume ngokuhlwithwa ngokuzalwa kwabo okuhlangene, mayelana nokuthi ubaba osanda kuwenzelwa ngothando washintsha kanjani izinwele kusukela ekuzalweni futhi ngaphandle kokucasuka kwavuka ebusuku kumntwana obuhlungu , HaVaYaH ubuthongo bakhe obuyigugu off nengxenye eyodwa isikhundla eshaweni "UPapa-getter", umsebenzi kabani main -. Ukutlhogomela umndeni, ingasaphathwa sibhekane ngokuphumelelayo umama ingane yena. Abanye abakucabangi ngempilo yomndeni ngaphandle kosizo nokusekelwa komlingani kuzo zonke izinyathelo: kusukela ekukhathalelweni kwekhaya ezindabeni zokuzilungisa. Uma ukusatshalaliswa okunjalo kwezikhundla kufaneleka kokubili abashadile, akukho lutho lokuphikisana ngalo, njengoba besho. Kodwa kuthiwani uma isimo singahambisani nenye yezinhlangothi?
Izovuthwa nini?
"Lapho u-Alyosha wethu ezalwa, ngangisezulwini lesikhombisa ngenjabulo," kusho uNastya. "Futhi umyeni wami ubonakala sengathi ukhona njalo." Uzobuya ekhaya uvela emsebenzini, udle isidlo sakusihlwa bese uya kwikhompyutha noma ku-TV. Ngimtshela ukuthi usuku lwethu kanye nendodana yami idlula kanjani, uyagxuma, kodwa ingxoxo ayisekeli. Njengalapho engenasithakazelo. Muva nje ngamcela ukuba ahlale no-Alyosha ngenkathi ngidla. Ngemuva kwemizuzu engu-5, usevele eshaya emnyango, ngoba indodana yakhe yayingcolile, futhi uyise akayikuguqula. "Isimo lapho omama besenosana kuthiwa yi-one-on-one akuyona into engavamile. Kwanele ukufunda yonke imiyalezo efanayo kumasimu ukuqonda lokhu, kodwa ukuthi yini okumelwe uyenze? Indlela yokuvusa isimo sikababa kubaba osanda kuzalwa? Ngokuphambene nalokho okungaqondakali okungakahleleki, umsuka kababa ukhona, kubonakala ... ukuvikela inzalo yakhe Ngamanye amazwi, ngenkathi wena nosana lwakho ningesongelwa , Ubaba uzolile. i-diaper, eyazi ukuthi i-diaper, yebo, ayifuni ukuphoqelela izinkinga ezinkulu ezisongela impilo yengane, ngakolunye uhlangothi, konke kungabhekwa ku-physiology, bese uzama ukushintsha isimo sakho sengqondo esimweni uma ungenakukwazi ukuguqula wena ngokwakho. Yonke amehlo akho, yi-hormone yakho evuthayo, futhi izinkomba zakho zomama zihamba ngokuzenzekelayo, zize zibe khona ukuzondla .Le ndlela yokulala iyakuthinta, ithinta isifiso sayo esihle noma isihlalo esihle. Futhi umyeni angakwazi (unelungelo!) Ukungabelani nawe ngokuthakazelisa kwakho, hhayi ngenxa yokuthi u-chump ongenandaba. Myeke ngendlela yakhe siqu ukuba athole injabulo yokuba ngumzali wakhe - ngokuziqhenya ngendodana yakhe, ngokuthakazelisa ukucabanga ngempumelelo yakhe, enkolelweni yokuthi ungumama omuhle futhi nawe umntwana ugcwele, ulungele kahle futhi ujabule. Yazisa lokho ikhanda lomndeni lenzelwa inhlalakahle yakho yonke: unikeza umndeni, usebenza (kuphi, indlela, mhlawumbe ukhathele), uyakhathalela wena nomntwana.
Awufuni ukubekezelela ibhalansi yamandla enjalo? Yenza ngokuhlakanipha. Qala kancane ukudonsa ndawonye ubaba nezingane. Futhi hhayi ngokushintsha i-diaper, kodwa ngezinto eziningi ezimnandi - uthembela ubaba ophethwe kahle futhi ojabule ukuba ubaba uhlale ekhulumayo okwesikhashana, ake adlale. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, hlala eceleni futhi uhlanganyele inqubo ngokwakho, ulungele nganoma isiphi isikhathi ukuthatha i-baton.
Ngaso sonke isisa
U-Ella uthi: "Ubaba wethu ngokuzalwa kukaMashka ushintshile. - Izwe lonke manje libheke indodakazi yakhe: Kuphela ngizwa: kanti uMaska wadla? Futhi yini oyigqoke ukuhamba? Kungani ungamfundisi ukuthi afunde? Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ubaba ngokwakhe ufunda izincwadi ekukhuliseni izingane, unquma ukuthi uzoletha nini ukudla okuhambisanayo. Abangane bami bangihawukela, futhi ngizizwa ... ngiyintombazane endodakazini yami. "Ngempela, i-heroine yendaba ibonakala ijabule, futhi ayijabuli - kubonakala sengathi umyeni wakhe uphazamisa kakhulu ezintweni zonke, engenakho indawo yokuhamba, kanti enye ingase igubhe ngokukhululeka, ekushintsheni konke ukunakekela ingane kumapapa, kodwa lapho bekukhona, kulesi simo, ukushintsha okuthile noma ngisho nokufaka esikhundleni sezindima zenzeka. Upapa, ngaphezu kwezenzo zakhe eziqondile, uthatha omama, eshiya owesifazane engasebenzi Uma owesifazane ngaphambi kokuvela kwengane kulokhu E udlala indima ingane kumyeni wakhe, kodwa manje ihlanganisa nemizwa exubile -. Umhawu, umuzwa yokulahlwa Ngaphezu kwalokho, umsebenzi daddy sika esinjalo asisho ukuthi akudingeki ukwendisa owesifazane ukuzizwa ngokugcwele kakhulu kuhle kukamama Ngakho Ukunganeliseki kwenzekani ..
Ngezinye izikhathi ubaba ubonisa ukugcinwa kwecala futhi ... ezama ukujabulisa umkakhe. Izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi obaba abanobubele bangamadoda anamazinga aphezulu e-estrogen - ama-hormone e-sex female. Kusukela ekubukeni kwezinto eziphilayo, konke kuyiqiniso: kukhona ama-hormone aphethwe ukubonakaliswa okuthile komuntu, ngokulandelana, uma lezi zibonakaliso ekuziphatheni komuntu zigcinwa, ke, namahomoni amaningi. Yiqiniso, kunoma yimuphi umuntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubulili, kukhona kokubili amahomoni wesilisa nowesifazane. Uma kungenjalo, abesifazane abangu-100% bazobe besithambile futhi besondelene, futhi amadoda angu-100% ahlukumeze kakhulu, ngoba umbuzo awukho phambi kwamahomoni, kodwa ngokwesilinganiso sabo. "Amahomoni angamawesifazane angaphezu kwendoda, izimfanelo ezingaphezu kwesifazane zibonakala kuye. Imindeni ejabulayo itholakala lapho isilinganiso samahomoni kulabo bobabili sihambisana: isibonelo, nobaba onakekelayo, umninikhaya uziphatha kahle ngumama-umklomelo ohambisana nomsebenzi nokuthola ingane neg (ngamanye amazwi, ama-hormone wesilisa esiveze ngayo insada wakhe). Ukuze Ezweni lanamuhla lolu exchange of izindima eyamukelekayo ezivamile. Izinkinga zenzeka lapho kufakwa ama-hormone "basakaza" ngokulinganayo. Isibonelo, bobabili abazali bafuna ukusebenzisana nomphakathi, ngakho-ke umama, ngemuva kokuzalwa komntwana ovela "ekuboshiwe ngesandla," uqala ukucindezeleka ngendima yakhe, uzama ukuqinisekisa ukuthi imithwalo yemfanelo isatshalaliswa ngokulinganayo, okuvela kuwo omama ukuthi: "Lo mntwana futhi mina ngingowokuqala, angikwazi nokuthi ngingamnakekela kanjani, kodwa uma ngifunda, kungani upapa akufanele akwenze? " Sebefinyelele ukuvumelanisa, wonke umuntu kulo mndeni uphenduka: baphenduka ukumelela umntwana phakathi nobusuku, baphendukele ukuze badle (uma kungekhona ngokubeletha, yebo), baphenduke ngokuhamba. Futhi imali kwisabelomali semindeni, njengomthetho, ihlungwe ngohhafu.
Ake sibambe imiphumela
Ubaba, njengomama, bahlukile, futhi akumane kungamukeleki ukubalinganisa bonke ndawonye. Umndeni ungumzimba ophilayo, futhi noma yiziphi izinguquko kuwo kumele kube oboyudozhelannymi. Futhi-ke, uma ume endaweni, "Angikugxeki, futhi wena, njalonjalo, idiot," awunayo imiphumela emihle. Bheka ukuyekethisa, hamba komunye nomunye, futhi ungazishiyi. Kodwa cabanga kuqala ukuthi ungubani upapa ongayifaka ikhanda lomndeni wakho.
• Ubaba ungumtholi. Ubaba usebenza okuningi futhi usekhaya kancane. Futhi uma ebonakala, ukhathele futhi "kungcono ukungaphenduki." Uma ufuna ukuba nobaba okhukhumezayo nendoda ethandekayo eduze kwakho, wena ... kuzodingeka ushintshe indoda. Futhi kuwufanele yini? Akuyona into yokuthi, ngokuba nomngane onjalo ekuphileni noma "Isikhumbuzi" esivele sikhona, uzokwaneliseka. Phela, kungase kuvele ukuthi esikhundleni sokuthola imali, ubaba angathanda ukuhlala nawe ebhokisini le-sandbox. Futhi ngubani ozohlinzekela umndeni?
• Ubaba-hen. Uhambisana nomntwana ngokucophelela, ufunda izincwadi, udlala naye futhi ukhuluma ngokuphila isikhathi eside. Noma yikuphi "umsebenzi wokudabuka" emini nasemasontweni, ngokungangabazeki uzokhetha ukuzithokozisa komndeni.Ngaphandle kokuba umuntu onjalo uyozizwa ethandwa njalo.Uma umholo kababa eyanelisa izidingo zomndeni kanye nezifiso, khona-ke lo mdwebo we-conjugal ungashukunyiswa kuphela. Lobuhlobo bungcono kubantu abashadile, Kufanele uqinisekise kuphela ukuthi uyihlo akayithathi indawo yengane yakho.
• Ubaba ongumfokazi. Kubonakala sengathi ukhona nawe, kodwa njengokungathi akaqondi lutho. Kuyathakazelisa kakhulu ukuba nabangani kunomndeni. Ubaba uhlala njalo, futhi akukwazi ukusho ukuthi usebenza ngokuphila komphakathi - uyakhathalela inhlalakahle yosuku nosuku lomndeni. Imodeli enjalo ivame ukutholakala phakathi kwamadoda ababa "obaba" ngokungabandakanyeki "- engazange athuthuke ngokwengqondo, abe ngumntwana ngokwakhe, indoda iphikisa, njengoba kungenzeka, ibuyele kuye imithwalo yemfanelo. Ngamanye amazwi, umane ubalekela kuye.Awu, lesi senzakalo sivame ukutholakala ama-latitudes ethu, futhi cishe awaziwa eNtshonalanga - lapho athola khona isikhathi esisheshayo futhi abe nezingane kuphela lapho evuthiwe ngaphakathi.Ungenzenjani esimweni esinjalo esivele sikhona? Zama ukusiza oshade naye ukuba akhule kodwa hhayi ngokuhlambalaza kodwa ngokuphambene Lokho akwenzela wena nomntwana, uthi ujabule ukuthi uyabakhathalela kanjani nokuthi uyakunakekela kanjani, ukuthi uyakusiza kanjani (ngisho noma kungenjalo!). Uma esebenzisa iqiniso lokuthi unguyise wento yonke ekuphenduleni futhi ngokugcwele ngalokhu konke ukubhekana nalokhu, inhloko yomndeni ingaba yiyo futhi isebenza.
• Ubaba ungumntwana. Ubaba onenjabulo enkulu usebenza ezinganeni, kodwa kuphela lokho. lokho kumnandi futhi kuyamthakazelisa kuye. Dlala nezingane? Sicela! Yebo, ngenjabulo! Ngomntwana ubaba, njengomthetho, izingane azifani nezezingxabano, uhlela ukuhamba ngezinyawo, ucabange imidlalo ethakazelisayo, ikuvumela ukuba udle amakhekhe ngesandla, futhi uqede isijeziso somama. nobaba, nobaba - iholidi lomuntu .Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuhle, izingane zijabule, futhi kwenye - akunakwenzeka ukuthi umama "omubi" uyothanda. Ingabe kuyadingeka ukulungisa kancane ukuziphatha kukapapa, ngokuvumelana naye ukuba angenzi "iphoyisa elibi" kusuka kumama, futhi, mhlawumbe, bajoyine imidlalo yabo yama-gay? Futhi wonke umuntu uyokwaneliseka!
Uma ubaba ehlala ngokwehlukana
Ngezinye izikhathi kwenzeka ukuthi umndeni uhlakazeke ngenkathi owesifazane ekhulelwe, noma uhlela ukukhulisa ingane yedwa. Singaluthola kanjani ilungu ilungu lomndeni elingekho esimweni esinjalo? Okokuqala, kumelwe samukele lesi simo futhi singakuphathe njengento ephutha. Ehlushwa umuzwa wecala phambi kwengane yakhe ngoba ekhula emndenini ongaphelele, owesifazane ubeka imayini ngomphumela wokulibazisa ebuhlotsheni nomntwana. Okokuqala, nginomuzwa omubi womama, ingane esivele isukela eminyakeni encane kakhulu ingafunda ukuthi kukhona okungalungile kuye. Ukugxila esimweni ngokwawo, umama njengokungathi utshela ingane: "Asifani nabo bonke abantu." Futhi uma ukuhlukana kumuntu okwenzekile kungenzi ngentando yowesifazane, ukungabi nandaba kwakhe kungase kuqinisekiswe yizinsolo zakhe kumyeni wakhe futhi kuthiwa empilweni. Yini ongayenza kuleso simo? Thatha wena umthetho: umama ojabule ujabule kanye nengane yakhe.Uma uphatha izimo njengenhlekelele, ingane izoyiqonda ngendlela efanayo, ngoba ibheka umhlaba ngamehlo akho. Yebo, isimo UMnu. kuhle, kepha lokhu akusho ukuthi wena noma ingane yakho kukhona ngendlela engalungile, ngakho kwenzeka kanjalo! Okwesibini, kufanelekile ukunakekelwa ukuthi kukhona amadoda emvelweni wengane-umkhulu, umalume othandekayo, abangane bakho. imodeli yokuziphatha, cwilisa lokhu okuyingxenye yokuphila. Ngakho-ke, isithombe sakhe sezwe sizokwakhiwa ngokugcwele futhi kulungile.Kulesi simo, ubulili bomntwana abubalulekile. Ukuba khona komuntu empilweni yengane kubuye kubalulekile kubafana abafunda kubo ukuba babe ngamadoda, kanye namantombazane, kufana nokuhlukahluka kokuxhumana Ngingu nengxenye enamandla lesintu.