Lokho umuntu akwenza ukuheha owesifazane

Ubuhlobo phakathi kowesilisa nowesifazane buhlala bunzima phakathi kobulili. Ukulwa nokuhlonipha, ukwethembeka futhi, ekugcineni, ukunakwa. Ukuheha umuntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi owesifazane noma indoda uyinhloko yamakhono. Lekhono lokuphatha amakhono okukhuluma ngamazwi nokungabi ngamazwi, leli zinga elihle kakhulu lokuphatha ukuziphatha komuntu emphakathini, yedwa, umdlalo owenza kahle kakhulu ukuze ufeze imigomo ebekiwe.

Ngokuvamile amantombazane, isibonelo, basebenzisa kuphela izimfanelo zabo zangaphandle ukuheha umuntu. Ngaphandle kobuso obumnandi, amabele amnandi, imbongolo elula, imilenze emincane, amantombazane azohlale ethola izimonyo ukusiza, izesekeli ezihlukahlukene, izingubo ezikhethiwe ngobuciko ezigcizelela izimfanelo ezinhle kuphela, futhi zifihla amaphutha. Amantombazane abuye ahlomile kuphela ngezinto zokugqoka izicathulo, abangane abangcono kakhulu abazohlala bezosiza, kepha futhi nangengqondo ekhethwe ngobuhlakani, benza kalula izinhlelo zokukhohlisa, indlela yokuguqula ikhanda nokushaya noma iyiphi indoda enhle.

Amadoda angasebenzisi izimonyo, azigqoki izesekeli eziningi ngokwabo, angama-minimalist ekubukeni kwawo, azikwazi ukuziqhenya ngamabele amnandi, izinyawo zazo ezivela ezindlebeni zazo zizwakala sengathi kukhona okungahambi kahle. Yini abanayo nezindlela zabo ezikhethekile nezindlela zabo? Yini umuntu akwenzayo ukuze akhangele owesifazane?

Esigabeni samadoda, kunezindlela eziningana abasebenzisa ukuheha ukunakwa owesifazane omuhle. Indlela evelele kakhulu futhi evelele yokuheha abesilisa kulabo besilisa namanje ukuma kwabo. Amadoda avame ukuba yizo zendawo zabo zobulili ezabelwana ngazo. Ngakho-ke bazama ukubonisa isithunzi sabo besilisa kuphela, njengoba kubonakala ukuze bahlukanise, ngisho noma kufihlwe ngaphansi kwezingubo, kodwa babonisa nokuthi banesibindi. Lokhu kubonisa isithakazelo somuntu owesifazane, kubonisa ukuthi wavula ukuzingela owesifazane ayemthanda. Lokhu kuyibuwula ngokubuka kwethu abesifazane, kodwa noma kunjalo sinezindlela ezifanayo ezingabonakali ngamehlo ahlomile, isibonelo, ukujikijela phambili esifubeni, ukuqinisa isisu, ukuvumelanisa ukuma.

Kulokhu, izindlela zokuthinta owesifazane endodeni azipheli. Yini umuntu akwenzayo ukuze akhangele owesifazane, ngaphezu kokumiswa okuthile kokuxhumana? Ngokuvamile amadoda angena ezandleni zethu izikhali zethu, amahlaya nokuhleka. Lena enye yezindlela eziphumelela kakhulu zokuheha ukunakwa komuntu oyithandayo. Amahlaya afanelekayo, mhlawumbe ama-vulgar, futhi mhlawumbe angenalutho, ngaso sonke isikhathi abe nomuntu omusha kumuntu wabo, kulula kakhulu ukufeza lokhu uma umuntu enemizwa enhle futhi evulekile koxhumana nabo. Futhi, njengoba abesifazane bazi, bathanda ngezindlebe zabo, futhi konke kumnandi futhi kuyathandeka. Ngakho-ke, lokhu kuyindlela ephumelelayo, ngoba into esemqoka ukuqonda amaphuzu abuthakathaka wesisulu.

Isifundo ngowesifazane uthanda ukuzwa izindlebe kahle, le nkulumo idluliselwa kusuka esizukulwaneni kuya esizukulwaneni. Uhlala njalo endlebeni yomuntu wonke. Ngakho-ke umuntu wenzani ukuheha ukunakwa owesifazane omuhle? Akukho lutho olungcono ukudlula ukuhlukile komuntu wesifazane, ukukhombisa ukuthi uhlukile futhi uyingqayizivele, njengokungathi, akekho, noma okungenani indoda enjalo ayizange ihlangane empilweni yakhe. Ukwethula owesifazane oncomekayo kuyindlela enhle yokumnaka kuphela, kodwa futhi nethuba lokuthola inhlonipho yakhe. Yiqiniso kukhona amathuba ukuthi owesifazane ngeke abonge ukuncoma kanye nemizamo yomuntu okungenani ngesizathu sokuthi babenqabile, kodwa amadoda angaphelelwa ithemba futhi avele ngezindlela eziningi futhi zokwenza owesifazane abe mnandi, asho lokho engakatshelwanga ngaphambilini, futhi bayithola .

Lapho ukhuluma nomuntu, isitembu esinjalo sesifazane asiqapheli ngemuva kwakhe, njengokubangela ukuzwela, amadoda akhalazi ngokuphila kwabo, abaphathi babo nezinye izinkinga. Ziyinkimbinkimbi emagama nasezihloko zengxoxo, kodwa yilokho okunye okusetshenziselwa ukuheha ukunakwa owesifazane omuhle. Amadoda abasebenzisi umusa wethu, ukuthambekela kokuqonda, ukuzwelana. Kodwa bajabulela iqiniso lokuthi abesifazane bayakhuluma futhi ngeke bahlale bodwa. Ngakho-ke, umuntu ohlakaniphile, ukuze akhangele, owesifazane uzozilungiselela kusengaphambili umhlangano, ucabange ngezihloko zokuxoxisana, nezithakazelo ezivamile ezingaxoxwa ngazo.

Yini umuntu akwenzayo ukuze akhangele owesifazane hhayi ngokuxhumana naye, kodwa isibonelo ngefoni? Ifoni yakho iyindlela enhle kakhulu yokuphatha umuntu. Phela, lapho sikhuluma ngocingo, asikwazi ukubona ukuziphatha komuntu, ukunyakaza kwakhe, ukuthinta, ukubonakalisa ubuso, singacabanga nje ngesisekelo sezwi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukukhulumisana ngocingo kuvame ukulinganiselwa ngesikhathi, ngeke kube isikhathi eside sokuxhumana nomuntu siqu. Ngokungafani nabesifazane abanobungane nabanokukhulumisana, amadoda ekukhulumisaneni efonini ahluke ngokuphelele kubantu besifazane. Amadoda efonini avame ukungaboni, afushane. Akukhona ukuthi abanakho okushoyo, kungenye yezindlela zabo zokubheka umuntu wabo. Ngaphambi kokubiza owesifazane, indoda izocatshangelwa ngokuphindwe kayinkulungwane ngalokho ezokhuluma naye ngakho. Kodwa ukuze uthole isithakazelo futhi ukhange owesifazane, indoda ngeke ikhulume inkulumo yehora, ngisho noma inesikhathi esiningi samahhala. Uma unaka, ungabona ukuthi ukubiza owesifazane indoda ngokuvamile kuvimbela ingxoxo yefoni kuqala, akuyona yonke i-sponta. Phela, lokhu kuziphatha kungenisa ekukhulumisaneni okungaphelele, ukungahambisani, futhi owesifazane unesithakazelo kulokhu, ngoba uzohlakazeka kuphela engxoxweni, njengoba lapha esetshenziswe khona ngokushesha. Kuthiwani ngokwayo kubangela isithakazelo esikhulu kumuntu, isifiso sokuxhumana naye, ukuhlangana futhi, silinde ukushaya okulandelayo ngokungaphelelwa isineke.

Ungakhathaleli la madoda, ahlakaniphile kakhulu futhi ahlakaniphile, nakuba ngokuvamile ezenza sengathi uyisiwula. Mhlawumbe kunjalo, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi lena ingenye yamaphuzu ecebo labo lokugqilaza inhliziyo yomuntu ongezihambi onomdla onesithakazelo kubo.