Yebo, ngisho nama-anecdotes kulesi sihloko aziqambi, ngokumelene namahlaya ngomamazala nomalokazana.
Mhlawumbe, ngoba ubudlelwane obuphakathi komalokazana nomkhwekazi kaningi buyakheka ngokungahambisani nezwe noma ngenzuzo.
E-Russia, ubaba ngokwakhe wakhetha indodana yowesifazane, yingakho, uninazala akazange aphathe umalokazana kakhulu - umuntu oyinhloko endlini kwakungumuntu. Umuntu oyinhloko uhlala eRussia yanamuhla. E-Ukraine, olunye uhlobo lobuhlobo bomndeni: ukubusa komthetho wesifazane kusobala, okufakazelwa ngisho nangokweziko. Kithina lona wesifazane uvame ukuhola, ngokufanayo, nokuxabana phakathi kwabesifazane bezizukulwane ezahlukene. Uninazala unecala ngokuphathelene nomalokazana wakhe, ngoba uphatha indodana yakhe ngendlela ekhethekile (njengoyise uyenzela indodakazi yakhe). Futhi, mhlawumbe, umyeni kaningi uthatha ohlangothini lomfazi empini nomalokazana?
Ebudlelwaneni phakathi komkhwezala nomalokazana omncane, kunesimo esinjalo: umkhwezala angaphatha umalokazana emacaleni amaningana. Owokuqala - uma engumkhuhlane, ezama ukujabulisa umkakhe kukho konke. Okwesibili - uma umkhwezala noninazala banezihlobo ezinhle zomlingani, futhi umalokazana uthinta izithakazelo zemithetho yakhe. Khona-ke, uyisezala uzokuvikela ukuyigugu kwakhe ekuqotheni owesifazane osemncane.
Uma umkhwenyana akhangwa nomalokazana, kodwa akavumelani nalokhu kucabanga ukuthi uyazi, ngoba ubudlelwane obunjalo buphikisana nomphakathi njengento engathandana naye ngokuqondile - ukukhanga okungaqondakali kuyobonakala ngokucasuliwe nolaka. Ikakhulukazi uma umalokazana ngokwayo eveza isithakazelo sikayisezala. Abesifazane abaningi abasha abacabangi ukuthi uyisezala uyindoda, futhi ugijimela egumbini lokulala egumbini lokugezela egqoke izingubo zokugqoka emzimbeni wesifuba. Uma umfazi osemusha engenayo uyise (abazali bahlukanisile noma ubaba usefile kakade), uyomfuna e-beetroot, futhi angaziqondi ngokungafani namantombazane amaningi enza nopapa.
Uyazi ukuthi unesithakazelo futhi akafihli ubuhlobo phakathi koyisezala nomalokazana omncane. Yebo, futhi kwenzeka, futhi akuyona into engavamile. Njengomuthi wobuchwepheshe bomndeni, ngifuna ukugcizelela ukuthi isimo esinjalo singavela kuphela ngaphansi kwezimo ezithile eziye zavela ohlelweni lomndeni, okubandakanya kokubili umndeni omncane wabantu abasha kanye nendlu yonke yomndeni. Kusukela ukuthi umkhwezala nomamazala basebenzisane kanjani yonke iminyaka yokuphila kwabo ndawonye, indlela ababhekana ngayo nezinkinga zomndeni (ukuzalwa kwendodana, ukuzibandakanya kwakhe, isikhathi sokukhulelwa, "ukundiza kwakhe esidlekeni"), yiziphi imizwa abazizwayo lapho beshiywa bodwa lapho bebodwa indodana yakhula. Kukho konke lokhu kuncike ekutheni umkhwekazi angavivinya umalokazana yini isithakazelo somuntu nanoma yikuphi ubudlelwane bokuthandana phakathi komkhwezala nomalokazana omncane.
Uma umkhwezala nomamazala benabobudlelwane obuhle bomlingani, uma bevumelana ngokwengqondo ukuba bagugile ndawonye, akungabazeki ukuthi uthathwe ngumalokazana wakhe. Umuntu okhukhumezekile, ephupha ukuphunyuka emlonyeni oqinile wowesifazane okhohlisayo, angabheka umalokazana ngokumangalela nje.
Ngaphezu kwalokho , kubalulekile ukuthi yisiphi isigaba sokuphila umuntu ngokwakhe. Mhlawumbe usuvele enenkinga yokuphila esikhathini esizayo, futhi, mhlawumbe, iyingxenye yokuya esikhathini sokuya esikhathini samadoda - konke kuxhomeke kuhlobo lokuziphatha kwakhe ngokobulili, ukuvuthwa okusheshayo noma kokuphumula kwesikhathi. Isimo sezulu sinciphisa amandla?
Akugcini nje kuphela futhi kunciphise kakhulu amandla, njengenkinga yokuphila, ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuguga akude kakhulu, ngakho-ke ukufa. Ake sithi umkhwezala usuvele esenomvuthwandaba, okusho ukuthi udinga ukuzibonakalisa yena kanye nabanye (kubandakanya nendodana yakhe) ukuthi usazohamba-ke!
Ingabe ikhona into yokuncintisana nendodana kulesi simo? Yebo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubaba ubona indodana njengoba eqhubeka futhi ecabanga: ngoba indodana yami yamkhetha lo wesifazane, khona-ke kukhona into kuye. Ngokungafani nomkhwekazi wakhe, akakwazi ukuqonda kuphela amakhono okugcoba nezomnotho womalokazana, kodwa futhi nezimfanelo zakhe zesifazane. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abazali bathambekele ekwenzeni amaphupho abo angagcwaliseki, impilo engakafiki, kubantwana. Ubheka umalokazana wakhe futhi ucabange: ingabe ufuna ukuba nomfazi onjalo? Noma mhlawumbe umkakhe wayenjalo, kodwa eminyakeni engaba ngu-30 eyedlule ... Sekufuze kube nemicabango eyingozi nanoma yibuphi ubudlelwano phakathi komkhwezala nomalokazana omncane. Kodwa uyise akayesabi yini ngomthunzi osobala we-incest kule simo? Yonke into ehlobene nobuhlobo bobulili nezihlobo eziseduze (umalokazana cishe uyintombazane) iyinhloko emphakathini!
Ngaphezu kwalokho , emazweni amaningi kukhona imithetho ehambisanayo yobudlelwane phakathi komkhwezala nomalokazana omncane. Ngokwesibonelo, eBrithani, imishado phakathi kowesifazane kanye nonkosikazi wakhe owayengumkhwenyana wavinjelwa ngokomthetho, kuyilapho umyeni wangaphambili esaphila. Okufanayo kusebenza emishadweni ephakathi komkhwenyana wangaphambili nomamazala. Kodwa osanda kushada, indoda eneminyaka engu-60 ubudala kanye nomalokazana wakhe owayeneminyaka engu-40 ubudala, isifiso sokushada, babelokhu bephikelela kangangokuthi bafika eNkantolo yeStrasbourg bathola imvume yokushada. Indodana yami ayizange isebenze nalona wesifazane, kodwa ubaba wayesehle. Ngendlela, leli cala libonisa isimo esinjalo, lapho umalokazana efinyelela kumkhwezala. Insizwa isithembiso kuphela, isifiso somuntu, kanti eceleni kwakhe yindoda enomuntu owazi kahle, owaziyo ukuthi ufunani kowesifazane nakubomi. Kulesi sihloko kukhona ifilimu elimangalisayo "Ukulimala" noJuliette Binoche empilweni eyinhloko - mayelana nesifiso esiphezulu sezombusazwe ophezulu osezingeni eliphansi kanye nomakoti wendodana yakhe. Ngokushesha ngezinto eziningi.
Okokuqala , leso sithando socansi kanye nobuhlobo phakathi komkhwezala nomalokazana omncane (nakuba kungenzeka) kungenzeka ukuthi bahlangane futhi babonakaliswe umuntu onesiko eliphansi kuphela. Indoda eneminyaka ephakathi, ethathwe yimizwa yakhe, iyakwazi, nayo yonke imigomo nemigomo, ukuzitshela ukuthi: "Indodana yami iqala nje, isenakho konke okukhona ngaphambi kwayo. Impilo yami isivele iphelile. Manje ngithanda futhi ngifuna ukubona uthando lwami. Lokhu kungukuphila kwami, futhi akekho ongangivimbela ukuba ngiphila ngendlela engiyifunayo. "
Okwesibili, kungenxa yokuthi sibacabangela kanjani abazali bethu. Ngendodana yakhe, isenzo sikayise kwakuyinto engavamile, wabhekana nokushaqeka futhi, engakwazi ukubhekana nokudumazeka ngendlela efanele, wazibulala. Kumele sikhumbule njalo ukuthi abazali bafana nabantu abanjengathi, nabo banobuthakathaka babo, futhi banamandla okushisa okukhulu. Kwenzeke kimi manje ukuthi i-anecdotes mayelana nomalokazana nomkhwezala (futhi, ngokusobala, ngomalokazana nomkhwekazi) kungenzeka ukuthi ayibhaliwe ngoba isihloko sibuhlungu kakhulu, futhi asihlezi ukuhleka.
Kodwa, mhlawumbe , ezinye izinguqulo "ezithambileyo" zobudlelwane phakathi komama nodadewabo nazo kungenzeka? Bathi, ngokwesibonelo, bangabonisa izithakazelo ezivamile. Ngikhumbula umlando wabangani abathile. Lapho lo mfana efika ekhaya ukwethula intombi yakhe, wayethanda ngempela ubaba. Wayengumuntu ofundele kakhulu, uprofesa, ehlakazekile, ephakade emafwini. Umkakhe wazinikela ekhaya, wayengenakho ukuhlakanipha okukhulu, futhi akazange anake lokho okubukeka.
Akumangalisi ukuthi lo profesa wayethanda intsha, enhle, futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, intombazane ehlakaniphile. Bahlala amahora amaningi egumbini lokuphumula futhi baxoxisana ngezinkinga zokubambisana kwezwe, ukuthuthukiswa kwamasiko omhlaba - ngokufingqiwe, izihloko ezingaphinde zikhulume nomkakhe. Watshela nendodana yakhe ukuthi le ntombazane ihle, yamncoma. Ngicabanga ukuthi uma lo mbhangqwana osemusha engazange aphule, kodwa washada, ubuhlobo nomalokazana kaprofesa bekungaba kuhle, kepha umamazala angase abe nomona.
Esinye isibonelo. Emndenini kukhona "owokukhipha" oyedwa: uyisezala. Sekuyisikhathi esidlule wahlukanisa nomkakhe, wahlukana nonina (futhi manje unina uhlala nomalokazana wakhe, okungukuthi, uninazala). Ngendodana yakhe, lo muntu naye akagcini ubudlelwane. Kodwa kanye ngonyaka, ngosuku lokuzalwa komalokazana, uhlale ebonakala emnyango wakhe, egqoke izingubo, ephethe izimbali kanye ne-dollar eyi-$ 100 emvilophini.
Uyakwamukela lezi zipho, nomyeni wakhe konke kuhunyushwa ngokuthi ihlaya - bathi, $ 100 akalokothi aphazamise. Ngicabanga ukuthi izisusa zobuhlobo phakathi kukayisezala nomalokazana omncane zihlangene: kukhona isifiso sokucasula zonke izihlobo zami, nokuncintisana nendodana yami, futhi, mhlawumbe, ukuzwelana nomalokazana. Masibuyele emuva encwadini yomfundi. Ucela iseluleko - indlela yokuziphatha, ukuze ingxabano ingahlali ... Abantu bazama njalo ukugwema izingxabano, bakholelwa ukuthi lokhu kubi. Kodwa-ke, ukuxabana nakho kuyintandokazi, noma ngabe kukhona uphawu olungenayo. Kubalulekile ukucacisa ubuhlobo.
Okokuqala , kufanele uxoxe ngesimo nomyeni wakho. Ukusabela kwakhe kuncike ekutheni ubuhlobo babo nobaba babo bwakhiwe kanjani. Uma ethanda uyise, uzothuswa futhi, mhlawumbe, ngeke akholelwe umalokazana wakhe. Kodwa kunoma yikuphi okudingeka ukuthi kukhulunywe ngakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanelekile ukuqala ukwakha imingcele eqondile - umndeni wakho nomndeni wakho omncane. Unelungelo lokuzwa lokho akuzwayo, ucabange ukuthi ucabangani, uphile impilo yakhe njengoba ebona kufanelekile, futhi angazizwa enecala ngakho.
"Angikuphoqeleli lutho kuwe, kodwa awuyikuphoqelela noma yini", lokhu kufanele kube isikhundla sakhe, kokubili kuleso simo nasesihlotsheni sabazali bomyeni wakhe nabantu abaningi. Mhlawumbe kufanele sikhulume noyisezala. Kodwa konke lokhu - izinyathelo zesikhashana, udinga ukuphikelela ekuxazululeni ngokwehlukana.
Noma kunjalo, konke kuxhomeke kunjani uhlobo lobuhlobo emndenini. Kodwa-ke, ingxabano iyozuzisa wonke umuntu - into ezoshintsha, izogeleza ngokuhlukile. Akusizi ngalutho ukufihla izigcawu ekamelweni - ngokushesha noma kamuva bazobe besadingeka bazuze.