Mayelana nalokho ongakhuluma nomuntu?

Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi umphakathi wethu uqukethe abameleli ababuthakathaka nabesifazane obukhulu. Baxhumana nomunye ngezimo nezimo ezihlukahlukene: ezikoleni zemfundo, emgwaqweni, emsebenzini, ekhaya, njll. Kubonakala sengathi akukho lutho olunjengalokhu kuwo. Sonke singabantu abafundela ukufunda nokukhuluma ulimi. Kodwa akuyona yonke into elula njengoba kubonakala ekuqaleni kokubona. Abesifazane abaningi, behamba nosuku nomuntu, babe nomqondo ongacacile wendlela nokuthi bakhulume kanjani nendoda. Ukungabi nalena ikhono lokukhuluma nomuntu kudala ubunzima ekukhulumisaneni nasezingqinisweni zokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwano. Kanjani kulokhu okumele kube khona? Indlela yokukhuluma namadoda? Kulesi sihloko, siyazama futhi ukuzama ukuphendula le mibuzo.

Esigabeni sokuqala

Okokuqala, kufanele kukhunjulwe ukuthi emadodeni isidingo sokukhuluma sivame kakhulu kunabesifazane. Kusukela kulokhu kulandela ukuthi ingxoxo emkhatsini wesifazane nowendoda akufanele ingabi nalutho futhi yinde kakhulu. Ngaphandle kwalokho, umuntu okhathele ingxoxo engenalutho, vele uye ukukulalela. Uma kwenzeka ukuthi ufuna kakhulu ukukhuluma nendoda ngezinye izinto ezincane futhi izinto ezingadingekile, kufanele umxwayise ngakho kusengaphambili. Khona-ke uzosabela ngokufanele engxoxweni futhi angazami ukuzama ukubona incazelo ejulile emazwini angenayo. Le ndoda izobona ingxoxo yomngane wakhe njengenkulumo engekho embophayo, emnandi.

Ingxoxo phakathi kowesifazane nowendoda akufani neze ukukhuluma nentombi. Abesifazane banekhono eliyingqayizivele lokuqondana. Amadoda kule phenenemnogo ahluke. Abantu baqonda ukuthi leli zwe alifani nabesifazane, ngakho-ke ingxoxo nommeli wesilisa ngeke ibe lula njengoba kubonakala. Ukuze ukhulume kahle nendoda, udinga ukwazi imithetho ethile yokwethula ulwazi kwifomu eliqondakala kuye.

Uma ingxoxo emkhatsini wesifazane nowendoda ingathí sina ngokwanele, khona-ke kufanele azame ukungakhohlwa injongo yale ngxoxo. Ukuxhumana nomunye nomunye, abesifazane bangakwazi ukusabalalisa izihloko zabo, bese babuyela esihlokweni esiyinhloko senkulumo. Amadoda, ngokuphathelene nezici zabo zengqondo, lolu hlobo lwenkhulumomphendvulwano lukhuni. Bazama ukukhuluma ngokuqhubekayo ngazo zonke izihloko, baqinise ububanzi obunengqondo futhi bahlanganise yonke le nqubo yokwaziswa okungafaniyo ibe yinye. Mhlawumbe abesifazane abaningi bazovuma ukuthi akulula.

Kufanele ukhulume kanjani nendoda ukuze iqonde kahle imibono ofuna ukuyidlulisela kuye?

Kudingeka senze ngokucacile imicabango yethu kuze kube sezingeni eliphezulu. Imisho kufanele ibe ecacile futhi icacile, amacebo angenandaba nokungaxhunyiwe okungadingekile. Ngaleso sikhathi kuphela abazofinyelela ku-addressee futhi bazoqondakala. Indoda idinga ukuqonda ukuthi uthini ngesikhathi esisodwa, futhi ungalokothi ulahlekelwe ngokucabanga futhi uphazamise ngalokho okwamanje kuyindaba.

Njengomthetho, abesifazane kuphela abakwazi ukudweba iziphi iziphetho kakade phakathi kwengxoxo phakathi kwabo. U-Umuzhchin ungenye into ephawulekayo yokucabanga. Okokuqala bathola ulwazi, bese benza umsebenzi wabo, bakhiwe uchungechunge olunengqondo futhi bese benza iziphetho zokugcina. Ngakho-ke, inkulumo engafanele futhi inkulumo engavamile iyabathukuthelisa futhi ivele idideke. Kanjani kahle ukukhuluma nomuntu, ukuze ungamcasuli ngesikhathi esifanayo? "Kulula kakhulu," ngizokutshela. Kubalulekile ukwethula ulwazi kumuntu ngendlela eqonda ngayo. Kubalulekile ukuthi inkulumo yowesifazane ihlelwe kahle, iqondwe kahle futhi iyaqondakala ekuboneni. Ungalokothi ugijime esihlokweni sendaba yokubandakanyeka nendoda. Veza imicabango yakho ngokucacile futhi ngokuqhubekayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kubonakala kunzima kangakanani ukubuka kuqala.

Ukuze ukwazi ukukhuluma namadoda, udinga ukuba nomqondo ocacile hhayi kuphela ngezindlela zalezi zingxoxo, kodwa nangezihloko. Okokuqala, ake sizame nawe ukuthi uphendule umbuzo: "yini abantu abangayisho?" Awu, mhlawumbe, ngokuqinisekile abaxoxani izingubo zabo ezintsha, ukukhishwa okusha komagazini abamnandi futhi abaxoxani ngehlebo ngamakhomishana. Ngokuvamile amadoda acabanga ngenkulumo yabesifazane njengezingxoxo ezingenalutho. Ngakho kuthiwani ngaleso sikhathi? Bheka ... Abantu bathanda ukukhuluma ngezemidlalo (ngokuvamile ibhola), ezombangazwe, izimoto, amakhompyutha, amantombazane kanye nakho konke okufanayo ngendlela efanayo. Ngamafuphi, mayelana nento ewusizo, phansi-kuya-emhlabeni, ethakazelisayo, ephakamisa izinga le-adrenaline egazini futhi elenza ukulwa.

Kodwa ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi owesifazane angakwazi, ngokwesibonelo, angaziqondi emdlalweni webhola noma izimoto. "Khona-ke yini engingayenza?" Uyacela. Ake sicabange ngokuthi yiziphi izifundo ezingakhuluma namadoda lapho owesifazane angakwazi khona ukukwazi. Qinisekisa ukuthi amadoda amaningi azoxoxa ngokuphumelelayo ngokuphumelela kwawo siqu nawe. Ngakho-ke, ube nesithakazelo ekusebenzeni komuntu kanye nempumelelo yakhe (kahle, uma kunjalo, lokho kuyatholakala). Uma kungenjalo, funda ukulalela ngokucophelela noma uma ufuna ukuzenza sengathi ulalele ngokucophelela. Amadoda athande ngempela lapho abesifazane bewuthokoza izinkulumo zabo. Kodwa ungawudluli, kungenjalo kuyoba cishe njengokungathi ukuvuleka okuvulekile noma ngisho nokuhleka usulu.

Ukukhetha izihloko zesikhathi esizayo zokukhuluma nendoda, udinga ukuqonda ukuthi yini ongayikhuluma naye ngeke ibe yinto engathandeki. Isibonelo, akufanelekile ukukhuluma nommeleli wobulili obunamandla ukuzihlambalaza noma ukumtshela ngezikhathi ezithile lapho wena, ngokushoyo, "ungazange uphumelele." Ikakhulukazi ngokuhluleka kwabo kungcono ukuthula nhlobo. Khumbula okukodwa uma uxoxisana nendoda awukwazi ukuxoxa ngezinkinga zabanye abantu nokuhluleka. Ayinhle kakhulu ngezingxoxo ezinjalo futhi angashintsha ngokucacile imibono yabo ngomuntu wesifazane, emsola inhlebo kuye.

Lawa angamaphuzu aphambili okudingayo ukuze ukwazi ukusetha inkhulumomphendvulwano ngobulili obuqinile.

Ekugcineni, ngingakunika amanye amathiphu:

1. Kulokhu, uma umuntu eqala ukukuphazamisa ngokuzumayo, nawe ungambulala, uqale ingxoxo ngesihloko ngokuzumayo evela ekhanda lakho. Abantu babona isici sabantu besifazane, esihlanganisa ukuphathwa ngendlela enenhlonipho ye-interlocutor ngenxa yamahloni, ukungabi nokuqiniseka kanye nokungafuni amandla. Ngakho-ke, ngezinye izikhathi kubalulekile ukuwaphazamisa nokufaka izingxoxo ezifudumele.
2. Udinga ukuqala ingxoxo nomuntu, ungazami ukumlungiselela isihloko esithile esithile. Engxoxweni udinga ukuba nomusa oqondile. Uma uqala ukukhuluma ngokuyinhloko kwengxoxo hhayi ngokushesha, cishe cishe uzoyeka ukuthakazelisa ku-interlocutor yakho.
3. Isihloko se-Dumayana: "Okufanele ukhulume nomfana", kufanele ukhethe izihloko okungenani okungenani okusemandleni. Indoda kumele ibone kuwe ukuthi ikhona umuntu onokwethenjelwa, oqinile, onamandla okuzibona.
4. Lapho uxoxa nomuntu, udinga ukusebenzisa izitatimende ezicacile, ezixhaswe yizingxabano namaqiniso.