Abaningi bayazi ukuthi kunenkinga enjalo njengebudlova basekhaya, okuye kwabonakala iminyaka eminingi. Isixazululo saso singaphezu kwamandla ayo nentuthuko eqhubekela phambili, futhi sikhulisa izinga lamasiko emphakathini. Inombolo yabesifazane abamelela isisulu sokuhlaselwa kwesilisa iphakeme nakakhulu emazweni asathuthukile kakhulu. Nakuba osukwini lwethu lokushaywa yindoda, owesifazane unelungelo lokubika ezinkampanini zokuphoqelela umthetho futhi ngaleyo ndlela amlethele icala.
Kodwa ingabe bonke abesifazane bayanquma ngalokho? Kuvela ukuthi akusekho. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi abantu abaningi, futhi sisho nabesifazane abanele ngokwabo, baqhubeke bephila futhi bekhuthazelela ukuhlukumezeka kusukela engxenyeni yabo yesibili, kuyilapho bebonisa ukukhathazeka kwakhe nokubeletha izingane kuye. Kungani kwenzeka? Iyini isizathu salokhu? Akekho owaziyo impendulo ethile kulo mbuzo. Mhlawumbe bayaqhubeka bekhuthazela, beqondiswa yisixwayiso eside-esingasasebenzi futhi esiyiphutha-bezingabe bayakuthanda? Futhi mhlawumbe banethemba lokuthi ngolunye usuku okuhle kwabo kuzoshintsha futhi konke kuzoshintsha empilweni yabo.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, singasho into eyodwa: uma indoda ishaya umkakhe, kubalulekile ukulwa nalokhu futhi uthathe izinyathelo ezithile. Inkinga ixazululwa, futhi nakanjani - umshado onjalo kufanele uqothulwe futhi ungaqedi. Kodwa ngesinye sezizathu, akubona bonke abesifazane abakhethayo ngalokhu. U-Asli akakwazi ukuxazulula le nkinga ngale ndlela, umuntu kumele enze imizamo yokuvimbela ukuthi kungenzeka ukuqhubekwa okunye. Indlela yokwenza ezimweni ezinjalo?
Yini okufanele uyenze uma umuntu eshaya umkakhe ?
Kusobala ukuthi owesifazane ozethembayo, owesifazane oqhoshayo akasoze abe yisisulu sobudlova besilisa. Uma ngabe isimo sibheke ngendlela yokuthi umshayeli wesibindi uwile esicupheni, owesifazane onamandla ngokuzikhandla kanye nemizuzu ngeke azihluphe ngokungaqiniseki ngalokhu. Sula ubuhlobo, nephuzu. Futhi kumelwe ngithi ezimweni eziningi ngeke aphinde aphinde aqhubeke nobuhlobo naye.
Ukuba unesifiso esinesibindi, ukuzethemba ngokweqile owesifazane uphelelwa ukuhleka usulu konke ukuphila kwakhe, ngaleyo ndlela uyazakhela yena kanye nezingane zakhe ekuhluphekeni. Akuveli kubantu ababuthakathaka ukwenza izenzo ezinqumayo, futhi akusizi kakhulu ukushintsha isimo sabo ebusuku. Futhi ukuze angabonakali eminyangweni yomyeni wesibindi, umuntu kufanele azame ukutadisha umlingiswa wakhe, ukuthambekela kwakhe kobudlova futhi athathe izinyathelo ezifanele.
Labo abahlukumezela ekubuseni okuqedile okuphelele emndenini wendoda kaningi, ngeshwa, bayathandeka kakhulu. Njengoba ephendule ikhanda lentombazane futhi lizungezile ngokucophelela futhi elinakekele, likwazi ukufeza kalula isimo sabo sengqondo. Ngothando nentombazane engenalwazi, ukholelwa ukuthi ukuba nendoda enamandla eduze kwakhe kuyohlale ivikelekile futhi ikhululekile impilo eyinikezwa yona. Inkinga yeNoot, uma nje uhamba emshadweni, njengodonga, okusemuntwini womyeni wakho okufanele ube ngamatshe, uba yisigwebo. Ebudlelwaneni phakathi kowesifazane oshade naye kuyisimangaliso, esisebenza esimisweni sobuhlobo phakathi kwe-boa nekrolikom.
Ngakho kufanele kube yini uphawu lokuqala futhi uqaphele intombazane?
I-Despotism, njengomthetho, ngaphandle kokuphoqelela ngokwayo ukulinda isikhathi eside, ngokushesha iqala ukuziveza emazwini angenacala aqondiswe kubangane kanye nalabo abajwayele ukujwayele intombazane. Ezama ukumnaka indlela abanye besifazane abasebenzisa ngayo i-nimflirtuyut, umyeni oyisiphambeko esizayo uzama ukubangelwa intombazane yokuzizwa. Ukuphikisana ngezimpikiswano ezinjalo njengomzamo wabantu abaseduze nabesifazane (ubaba, umama, udadewabo) ukubhubhisa ubuhlobo babo, uzama ukufeza ukuhlukaniswa okuphelele kwezihlobo.
Indoda yalolu hlobo ivuselela ngokushesha yonke into encane futhi ngaleyo ndlela ilahlekelwe ukulawula.
Ekuqaleni, ngaphandle kokugijimela ebusweni, lezi zenzakalo ziyabonakala intombazane njengehlaya. Emandleni omuntu onobuqili, engabonakaliswa ngokuphelele, kuvela kamuva, lapho izihlobo nabangane bexoshwa eceleni, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nokunyamalala ngokuphelele.
Konke kuqala ngeqiniso lokuthi umyeni othandekayo uhlambalaza futhi uphuma kuye ngaphandle nangaphandle kwakhe, uqala ukuhlazisa futhi asebenzise amandla akhe. Owesifazane uqala ukuphoqa ngokuphelelwa yithemba, zama ukujabulisa, kodwa konke lokhu akuholele emibhalweni elindelekile.
Yini engingayenza uma konke lokhu kuthatha isimo sokuhlala njalo? Into esemqoka ukuvumela konke lokhu. Akufanele uziqede futhi ukhale ikusasa lakho elidabukisayo nelingaqediwe. Udinga nje ukuzama ukuzigcina usuphethe futhi ucabange ngokujulile isimo samanje nezizathu zenzeke. Futhi ngokujwayelekile - kuwufanelekile ukuqhubeka nokuhlala nalo muntu? Zama ukuhlola isimo ngokucophelela futhi ulinganise konke okuhle nokubi ezicini zomlingani wakho. Yebo, uma izimfanelo ezinhle zingaphezu kwezinto ezimbi, zama ukushintsha i-microclimate endlini.
Okokuqala, zama ukuphakamisa ukuzethemba kwakho, ngoba kunezindlela eziningi ongayifinyelela ngazo inhlonipho nothando ngokwakho kusuka kolunye uhlangothi. Ukukhethwa kwalokhu noma leyo ndlela kuyokuvumela ukuba ufeze ngokwakho ngaphandle kwezinkinga ezikhethekile. Kubalulekile ukuqeda ubunzima obuncane bokuthi umyeni wakho uphefumulele. Izimfanelo ezinjengokungaqondi, ubuwula, ukuxoshwa kanye nezinye izinto eziningi sezivele zibe, isimo somphefumulo wakho. Nokho, umuntu ngamunye ufanelwe injabulo. Awunakholelwa, futhi akekho onelungelo lokukunciphisa lokhu.
Uma ufuna ukusindisa umndeni, phuthukisa isimo sekhaya, yenza ngendlela encane futhi eqhubekayo. Ukuqeda ukwesaba umyeni wakhe, umdonsa empini. Khumbula ukuthi ukhululekile, inkululeko ye-apocalyptic ikunika ukukhetha okuphila, okuyinto ehlala njalo kuphela. Futhi uma unqume ukugcina umshado, zama ukushintsha ukuziphatha kwakho kumyeni wakho. Mdumise kaningi ngenxa yezimfanelo ezitholakala kuye, zibeke phansi futhi zithande kakhulu, zama ukukhanya okungcono.
Umphumela uzoletha lokhu kuphela uma isigamu sakho sesibili siqaphela izinkinga zayo ezihambisana nokuzithiba futhi unqume ukusebenza kuwe. Futhi uma kungenjalo, kungaba ngcono ukuthi uhlanganyele naye, ngoba izicelo zakhe ezingapheli zokuthethelelwa nokuzama ukufakazela uthando lwakhe oluthandekayo alukwazi ukuthathwa ngokungathí sina ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi ukushaywa kuzophela. Njengoba okuhlangenwe nakho kwempilo kubonisa, ukuzenzela komuntu kuyoba yinto evamile uma owesifazane ehlala emthethelela njalo. Ngakho-ke, umuntu akufanele enze isandulela "ukushaya-kusho, uthanda" ngokubaluleka kwakhe okubalulekile. Ufanelwe uthando lwabo abangaqedi izandla zabo ukuze baveze imizwa yabo.