Ngokwabo, amadoda angathandi ukukhuluma ngothando futhi angazi ukuthi kanjani, ngakho akumangalisi ukuthi omunye wembuzo evame kakhulu evela kumuntu uzwakala sengathi: "Uyangithanda?"
Umehluko ngokukhululeka lapho owesilisa nowesifazane besho izimemezelo zothando akufakiwe nje kuphela emphakathini, kodwa futhi futhi ngokomzimba. Emadodeni, ngokuyisisekelo, isidingo sokukhuluma sichazwe kahle. Phakathi kwabo, hhayi abantu abaningi abanelungelo lokufunda ulimi, njengabesifazane. Futhi nakuba abesifazane behumusha kalula imibono nezithombe zibe ngamazwi, bancane phakathi kwabalobi kanye nezimbongi ngoba nje ngokomlando ukubhala kwabesifazane akukhuthaziwe. Wazibandakanya ezintathu "K" - ekhishini, enomusa nangombhede - lo wesifazane wazama ukungaboni imibono yomphakathi futhi uma ebhala, wabe ebhala etafuleni. Kukhona amacala amaningi emlandweni wezincwadi lapho umbhalo wesandla somlobi omkhulu noma isazi somthetho wehliselwa engqondweni ngumfazi wakhe, unobhala noma umninindlu.
Ubuchopho besilisa buhlelwe kakhulu ukuze uxhumano phakathi kwama-hemispheres lubuthakathaka kunabesifazane. Ukudluliselwa ngesignali phakathi kwama-hemispheres kukhona "i-jumper" ekhethekile phakathi kwabo, okuthiwa i-corpus callosum. Kulaba besifazane le jumper inamandla kakhulu, inezinyathelo eziningi ezithuthukisayo. Yingakho owesifazane angakwazi ukukhala njalo ngalokho akubona nokuzizwa. Kunzima kakhulu kumuntu ukwenza lokhu. Kuye, isimo esivela esigabeni esithi "Ngizizwa okuthile, kodwa ukuthi ngingakusho kanjani noma ngikhulume ngamazwi, angazi" - kuyinto evamile. Ngakho-ke, ukukhuluma ngothando kuyinkimbinkimbi futhi kuyinkimbinkimbi, abaningi babo abazi ukuthi ngenxa yokulinganiselwa komzimba emsebenzini womqondo.
Umthamo wokukhuluma womuntu ngokuvamile kuxhomeke ekutheni uhlobo lokubusa kwama-hemispheres we-cerebral. Abesifazane bavame ukubusa i-hemisphere engakwesokunxele, okuyinto enesizathu sokukwazi ukukhuluma. Amadoda angama-oriented kangcono emkhathini, aqonda izibalo kanye ne-physics, angakwazi ukwakha izinkomba eziyinkimbinkimbi zokwakha izakhiwo ezingqondweni zabo. Konke lokhu kungenxa yokubusa kwezwe elifanele. Kulinganiselwa ukuthi owesifazane ufuna ukuveza amagama angu-7 000 ngosuku. Emadodeni, umkhuba wansuku zonke wokukhuluma ngamazwi angu-2000. Uma kufanele bakhulume okuningi, bawela ekucindezelekeni futhi besaba. Abesifazane, ngokuphambene nalokho, baba nokwesaba futhi bacasule uma isidingo sabo sokukhuluma singagcwaliseki. Ngokuvamile, izazi zengqondo zincoma ukuthi abesifazane abahlukumeze umyeni wakhe ngeze, futhi bachithe izibambiso zezifiso ezingakaze zikhulume nabangane besifazane. Namuhla, amabhulogi ahlukahlukene kanye nemiphakathi nayo ifaka isandla kulokhu.
Ngakho-ke, yini okufanele ayenze ukuze avume uthando lwakhe? Okokuqala, yiba nesineke. Uma ngabe othandekayo wakho akayona i-Cicero ngekhono le-oratorical, mnike ithuba lokuveza imizwa ngamazwi athola ngesimo ngasinye. Okwesibili, uma ushiswe ngokungaphelelwa isikhathi, linda isikhathi lapho ubulili obuhle kakhulu buzokwenzeka ebuhlotsheni bakho. Emadodeni, izingcingo zengqondo ezithintekayo othandweni azitholakali nhlobo. Ngakho lapho ethi "Ngiyakuthanda", ngalesi sikhathi kusebenze izindawo ezibucayi ezibhekene nobulili. Abesifazane banezindawo ezimbili ezihlukene zobuchopho kulokhu, futhi ukuhlanganiswa kwe-neural eqinile kubeka phakathi kwabo. Futhi ukuhlolwa emkhakheni wokucwaninga kobuchopho kubonise ukuthi abesifazane abaningi banezindawo zobuchopho obangela isifiso sobulili, akusebenziswanga kuze kube yilapho indawo yothando isucushiwe. Owesifazane kuqala uthandana, bese eqala ukufuna ngempela umuntu. Indoda ingakwazi iminyaka eminingi ihlala nowesifazane ophethe ubulili obukhulu naye futhi akafuni njalo ukuzwa umuzwa wothando. Futhi uma umcindezela futhi umbuze nsuku zonke ukuthi uyakuthanda yini, cishe uzosho amazwi othando ngesikhathi sokuqhuma kwe testosterone. Ngukuthi, lesi yisikhathi esifushane phakathi komzuzu lapho eqala ukukufuna, kanye nesikhathi lapho lesi sifiso sesivele siphumelele ekuhlolweni.
Kuvela ukuthi kukhona impendulo eyodwa yombuzo walokho okumelwe ukwenze ukuze enze ukuthi avume ukuthi uyamthanda, kodwa kunalokho kunengqondo kusuka kumbono wesifazane. Udinga ukudukisa indoda, imfudumise kuze kube yilapho esekulungele ukuya ocansini, bese emcasula ukuba avume ngothando. Lesi sici sombono wesilisa sothando siphumelele ngokuphelele ukusebenzisa abesifazane dinamschitsy. Ngokuqinisekile uhlangene empilweni yakho okungenani indodakazi eyodwa ebonisa ukuzondwa okungenangqondo kwesifiso esingavamile sobulili, i-flirts naye, i-flirts. Futhi njengoba ifika ekugcineni, ubuyela emuva emgqeni. Kodwa indoda isilungele ukudumala ekudumiseni, ukuvuma kanye nezipho kumfazi onjalo, hhayi ukuqaphela ukuthi wonke umuntu ozungezile uthathwa njengenhlanzi yakhe evamile.
Ngakho-ke yini ephumela ukuthi amadoda afuni ukuvuma uthando? Yiqiniso, konke lokhu akunjalo. Izinkinga ezichazwe ngenhla zibonisa ukuthi kungani kunzima kubo kunabesifazane ukukhuluma ngemizwa yabo. Kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi abakhulumi ngabo. Owesifazane nje akufanele akhathazeke uma engamtholi ukuthi avume uthando lwakhe. Udinga ukugxila ekufundeni kwakho kwezinsikazi, futhi uma ethi lokho akuthandayo, akunandaba ukuthi uthini ngamazwi.