Futhi baze banquma ukuthi iyiphi i-hormone eyabangela ukuthi yini. Ngakho yimuphi umthamo wothando emshadweni? I-Dopamine - ngenjabulo, i-serotonin - yokuzinza kwengqondo, i-phenylethylamine - ngenjabulo, futhi i-norepinephrine ikunika "amaphiko ngemva kwakho." Imizwa yethu ilawulwa yizinto ezibangelwa yi-biology yomzimba wethu: amphetamines, oxytocins kanye ne-endorphins.
Umzimba uvumelana nabo. Kunjengezidakamizwa, sidinga okungaphezulu ukuze sikhuthaze izikhungo zezinzwa, ngaleyo ndlela senze umdwebo wothando. Lawa mahomoni anika ukukhohliswa kothando. Ngemuva kwesikhathi esithile, futhi okucacile, emva kweminyaka engu-3-4, lezi zindlela ziyeka ukusebenza. Uthando nokukhanga, yebo, kuyanyamalala. Umlingani ngamunye udinga into entsha yenzalo. Ngakho, uthando lonke luyingxube ye-physics, yamakhemikhali, i-physiology ... I-formula yangempela yothando emshadweni.
Ngabe singaluhlobo luni lothando esingakhuluma ngalo? Zonke izifiso zikhona. Futhi ukuphila komuntu kuphela kubonisa ukuthi isimo sothando siphelile.
Akujabulisi?
Umphumela wezinambuzane wama-hormone, okungukuthi, lapho kunokukhiqiza okwanele, kuholela ekuntulekeni kothando, bese uyeka ngokuphelele ukwenza okuthile futhi ucele into entsha, kanye nesimiso sokuqhubeka kohlobo, yizona zinsuku zendaba enhle yesithando esiyingqayizivele.
Kodwa-ke, ngesizathu esithile ngifuna ukukholelwa ukuthi kusekhona endaweni ethile, ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukunciphisa kuphela izinqubo zamakhemikhali namaphilisi. Ngoba kukhona into engabonakali futhi engabonakali kuwo wonke umuntu, esiwabiza ngokuthi uMphefumulo. Ukungaqondakali, imfihlo engaphendulwanga ngokuphelele yomuntu, indlela yakhe yothando.
Yiqiniso, kuvunyelwe ukulinganisa ngokuzenzakalelayo isenzo sezinto ezibukwayo nezibonakalayo, okwenza ukukhululwa kwamahomoni athile kanye nezinye izinto zibe segazini. Ungakha izimo, ubone kuqala imiphumela yesenzo salezi amahomoni. Nokho, cishe akunakwenzeka ukuthinta izintambo ezincane zomphefumulo. Imizwelo, amaphupho, okulindelwe, ukuzwelana, ukuphikisana - konke lokhu akukwenzi ngamabomu.
Ngisho noma umuntu ekhumbula futhi efunda ukuzwakalisa ngokuzenzekelayo ukuthi yini abafuna ukuyizwa, kusekhona iqiniso elibalulekile ngaphakathi komuntu ongakuvumeli ukuba wenze ifomula yothando "ehlanzekile."
Ngaphakathi komunye wethu kukhona izwi langasese, lomnikazi okhuluma ngokuthula. Lelizwi liyazi konke ngothando lweqiniso. Futhi angeke akhohliswe ama-hormone, ngoba yena awukwazi ukwakha ifomula yothando.
Ukuze kucaciswe, kungenzeka ukuba akhohlise umuntu ngokuqondisa isizathu sakhe kanye nomzimba wakhe, bese edlala isikhathi esithile emithethweni eshiwo ngaphandle, athumele izikhathi ezingapheli zokuziphatha, izenzo zakhe zibikezela. Kodwa ngesikhathi esisodwa isimo sangaphakathi sithatha igobolondo elihle futhi sambulela kulowo muntu ukuzwa kwakhe kwangempela. Yilokho kuphela inhliziyo yakhe eyazi.
Yilokho kanye okugxile ekuxhumaneni okude ne-cosmos, lokho okuhambisa ukuhlakanipha okuphakeme, okungekho oMhlaba owakwazi ukunikeza incazelo ecacile futhi ephelele.
Kodwa ingabe sikwazi ukulalela nokuzwa lelizwi? Siphikisana njalo ngento ethile, isibonelo, umkhuba wokwamukela okufunwa okwamanje.
Lokho esikuzwayo akusijabulisi ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngoba kusibeka ekukhanyeni okungajabulisi phambi kwethu nabanye, kubonisa amaphutha ethu namaphutha ethu, kubonisa ukwehluleka kwethu, ukungalungi kwethu, ukungabi nalutho. Ubani othanda ukubona ukuqinisekiswa kokungaphumeleli kwabo kumuntu othandekayo? Ngakho-ke, siyashesha ukungaboni iqiniso, futhi ukucabanga ngakho yilokho okwemukeleka kakhulu okwamanje, sakha indlela yethu yothando othandweni.
Ukubuka kwezwe nabantu kanye nokucabanga okuhlobene okungafani.
Singasho izikhathi eziyizinkulungwane eziyikhulu ukuthi asikhathaleli ukuthi abantu bathini ngathi. Kodwa impendulo, eqinisweni enhliziyweni, ingabe izindaba zakho nabantu azixhomeki ekumelelweni kweningi noma okuncane, ngokujwayelekile, kwanoma yiluphi uhlobo lokumelwa? Simesaba, siyamlalela. Lo mthetho wokuba khona komuntu emphakathini, futhi lokhu akukwazi ukuguqulwa. Kodwa imithetho yomphakathi ayilawuli ukuthanda kwethu okuqotho, akekho oyokuphoqa ukuba ulandelele "uhlobo olungajwayelekile" lothando ngawe.
Ukuthambekela kwethu kuwe. Sinevila kakhulu ukuba sicabange ngesimo sethu, ngezikhathi ezithile asizenzi ngendlela yokuphefumula komphefumulo, hhayi ngokungazelelwe, kodwa kuhlelo oluthile olwenziwe ngaphambili, ngokukholelwa ukuthi nabo ngokwabo babesungula. Asizami ukuthola impendulo yombuzo obhekene nokuphila - sisheshe senze lokho abantu abaningi abakwenzayo ezimweni ezinjalo. Kodwa-ke, noma yikuphi kithi okuhlukile, futhi ngamunye wethu unelungelo lakhe lokugcina izimfanelo, amakhono akhe nobuso bakhe beqiniso, esingazi, ngoba asizange sibhekane nezici zakhe.
Sesha izindlela ezilula. Silandela indlela yokunciphisa okungenani. Emshadweni sizama ukwenza konke ukuze kube lula kithi. Sesaba ukubona nokuxazulula izinkinga. Sikholelwa ukuthi uthando, emva kwakho konke, hhayi katorga futhi alwenzi noma yimuphi umzamo. Noma kunjalo, uthando ngumsebenzi we-hellish womphefumulo wethu, ngakho-ke awugcini nje kuphela, kodwa uthatha okuthile kithi nsuku zonke. Abaningi bethu bakholelwa ukuthi uthando luyinkambo engapheli yezinjabulo nezibusiso. Noma kunjalo, khumbula ukuthi ifomula lothando lunezinkathazo, umhawu nokukhala.
Ngaphandle kobuhlungu obungaphakathi, umsebenzi oqhubekayo womphefumulo wethu, akunakwenzeka ukuwuzwa ngamandla. Kufana nokuvunguza ngaphakathi kwebhulethi elikhanyayo. Kodwa uma uyithinta, uzozizwa ukuthi umsebenzi omkhulu ungaphansi kwengilazi. Futhi kuzokulimaza.
Cishe zonke izinkinga ezibalulekile azikwazi ukufakwa ngamazwi amahle kuphela, okuhlelwe ukuthi azwakalise lapho ekhuluma nomuntu othandekayo esiteji sobudlelwane obuseduze. Ukuphila komuntu kwakhiwe hhayi kuphela ngamaswidi, izimbali, amagama amathenda. Ekuphileni kukhona ubuhlungu, nokusebenza, nokuhlukunyezwa. Uma othile esaba futhi ekholelwa lokho
azihambisani nemizwa yeqiniso, ayiphutha.
Ezikhathini ezinzima zobungane, sikwazi ukubona ubuso bomuntu wethu othandekayo, okuvela kuwo wonke ama-masks, yonke ibluff. I-Theognis yathi: "Ngendlela ehlukile, uzizwe uhlamvu lwabangani bakho, ikakhulukazi, bheka, ubani othukuthele." Ungabuye futhi ngothando.
Kodwa-ke, ungayithathi ngokoqobo, ngoba ngenxa yokucindezeleka, esimweni esithintekayo, umuntu angakhuluma izinto ezimbi ezingabulala ngisho nothando. Izinkulungwane zemindeni zihlukanisiwe, zilahlekelwa umthamo ohambisanayo wothando emshadweni, futhi zingapheli ukushisa kwezifiso ezivame ukuphakama phakathi kwabathandekayo. Umuntu ubuthakathaka, uziphatha okubi futhi uvame ukuphutha.
Kodwa-ke, endaweni ethile ekujuleni komphefumulo kuyimaminithi yamanga eyi-timer. Uma eqamba amanga kuye, uyazi. Umuntu njalo uyazi lapho ubuchopho bakhe bukhohlisa ikhanda lakhe, futhi akenzi kwezinye izimo emphefumulweni womphefumulo wakhe, kepha kanje:
- njengoba kufanele kube;
- njengoba umthetho wepakethe uthi;
- njengoba umuntu esungulwe.
Umphefumulo uyindaba efihlekile. Ngezinye izikhathi ithunyelwa ezinhlotsheni ezinjalo, zilala ngotshwala obuningi kangangokuthi ngeke uqale. Noma kunjalo, kufanelekile ukuzama.
Uthando lubona ubuso beqiniso bomuntu, ngisho nasezinhlungwini ezimbi kakhulu, ngokuzimelela okumangalisayo kokuzivikela, esiyithatha ngezikhathi ezithile. Umthamo wothando emshadweni udinga ukulingana.
Ngakho-ke, yini ngempela kulezi zici zokubonakaliswa komuntu, siyazi omunye nomunye.
Okuthile okwenza umuntu asondele kakhulu emhlabeni, futhi ulungele ukumbonisa ngisho nezici ezimbi kakhulu zomlingiswa wakho futhi uzivumela ukuthi ube buthakathaka, ungaphelele, ungabi mnhle kakhulu, ungahlakaniphile ngokwanele - njengoba ukhona. Futhi akaphendukile kuwe, kodwa uyakuthanda nakakhulu futhi uyakubona kanye nawe. Lokhu sekufanele kakhulu.
Ukuthembela kumuntu mina, mina, ongenasibindi kanye nobuthakathaka, ukuthembela ngokuphelele futhi ngokungenakuqhathaniswa, ukwazi nokuqonda ukuthi ngokwenza kanjalo uzothola ukuvikelwa nokwethemba - lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokuqala somzwa weqiniso, ngalesi sikhathi ifomula yothando emshadweni iqala kancane kancane ukuthola ukucaca izici.
Futhi nokho ... Silungele ukuthanda bonke abantu, kodwa asazi ukuthi singamthanda kanjani umuntu othile. Sifuna uthando lwethu lube mnandi, luhle ngokumangalisayo, njenge-sketch ku-albhamu, sifuna ukwakha ifomula ekahle yothando emshadweni. Yiqiniso, ngoba impilo yethu yansuku zonke ibonakala iyimpunga! Nakuba ungaphupha ngothando?
Eqinisweni, uthando luyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Yena, cabanga, ixhunywe naleso sici sokuphila njengokuhlanza indlu kanye nokukhipha imfucumfucu, amasokisi angcolile namapayipi amanzi. Futhi kulokhu udinga ukulungele, udinga ukwakha ifomula yakho yothando.
Ungakhohlwa ukuthi uthando lusebenza kanye kanye nokuphumula, kungukuphila nje, ukuphefumula kwalo, okungekho konke okwenzeka kukho konke. Futhi udinga ukwamukela ngazo zonke izinkinga, ukungavumelani, ukudumazeka nokuthola izinto, ubuhlungu, kumnandi, injabulo, ngoba ngaphandle kothando, impilo yomuntu ayinandaba.