Imibuzo yenkolo ayiyona elula njengoba sicabanga. Ngisho namanje, lapho ubuzwe nenkolo, njengezinkolelo zezombusazwe, zikhona ngokweqile, ukubhapathizwa kwezingane, uma abazali bezinkolo ezahlukene, kungaba yinkinga enkulu.
Akukhona nje ukuthi abashadile abanokholo oluhlukile banesithakazelo ekubhapathizweni, kodwa futhi nabazali babo. Futhi esimweni somndeni othembekile kakhulu (noma kunalokho, izizukulwane eziningana zemindeni emibili ngesikhathi esisodwa), imindeni yangempela iyangenela. I-Montagues neCapuleti yekhulu lama-21-yilokho ukubhapathizwa kwezingane kuphenduka uma abazali bezinkolo ezahlukene.
Ezweni lanamuhla njengenhlangano yonke, kunokuthula okuningi nobulungisa. Kakhulu kangangokuthi amadoda aphoqeleka ukuba asebenze kanzima ngezimpelasonto noma adlale imidlalo yekhompyutheni ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka nokucindezeleka. Emva kwakho konke, akukho mpi, kanye nokuziphatha okuhle uma kukhona impikiswano "isikhukhula ebusweni". Kodwa nokho, njengengxenye yamakhulu eminyaka adlule, kwahlala imfundiso.
Ukholo akuyona nje izinkolelo zomuntu siqu. Yilezo ngokuqondile, kuze kuqhubeke ukuqhubeka kwethu, inzalo yethu. Futhi kulo mzuzu izinhlangothi eziphikisayo zifakiwe kule mpi.
Mayelana nabazali nezinye izihlobo
Njengomthetho, abashade nabo ngokwabo bayakwazi ukuxazulula le nkinga enzima. Kodwa abadlali abakhulu bayoba ngabazali nezihlobo. Phela, umbuzo wenkolo uvame ukubaluleka komlando womndeni, umndeni kanye nomndeni. Ngakho, umbono we "umndeni" uzodingeka uthathwe kuqala.
Izinketho ezintathu zokuxazulula inkinga:
- Uma okungenani oyedwa womshado angenza isiqiniseko sokuthi "umndeni wakhe" yizindaba ezibalulekile zokukholwa, mhlawumbe, ukuhlangabezana nezifiso zesigamu sesibili nomndeni wakhe.
- Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma ingxenye eyodwa yezihlobo ihlala ndawonye nabancane, kanti eyesibili - kwenye idolobha, khona-ke ukusekela "ukungqubuzana kwenkolo" kude kubulula kakhulu.
- Ngesinye isikhathi isimiso esithi "ovuka kuqala, oyedwa kanye nesineki" sisebenza kahle. Yebo. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukubhapathiza ingane, futhi uzobhekana nalolu daba olunzima ngaphambi kokunye.
Ungakugwema kanjani ukungqubuzana?
Lapho beshada, abaningi baphupha nge-sakramente yomshado, okungahambisana nomkhosi womphakathi. Noma kunjalo, ekushiseni kothando, ngokuphikisana okufudumele, ukuthi ungabamba kanjani umkhosi, mhlawumbe, ngomshado futhi ukhohliwe.
Kuyinto evamile ukuba abefundisi bavumelane nezibopho "zomshado ezulwini" nabameleli bezinkolo ezahlukene. Ngokuvame lokhu lokhu kwenzeka ngaphakathi kwemigqa eminingi yamaKristu, kodwa kukhona eminye imishado engavamile.
Yebo, uma omunye wabashade ngaphambi komshado uba yinye inkolo. Khona-ke akukho ukuphikisana. Kodwa njengomthetho, ngemva kokushiywa yedwa ekuvumeni kwabo, abashadile baqala ukubhapathiza ingane ize. Ngakho-ke, ingozi eyayilahlekelwa amehlo, izobuya, futhi inkinga izovela kuyo yonke inkazimulo yayo. Ukubhapathizwa kwezingane, uma abazali bezinkolo ezahlukene, kuyisivivinyo kumndeni wonke.
Indlela yokuhlela kusengaphambili?
Kodwa, njengomthetho, konke akunzima kakhulu futhi kubi, uma abazali bezinkolo ezahlukene bekhetha ukubhapathiza izingane ngaphandle kokushesha. Kulokhu, uma kungesiyo ingane, kodwa, tshela, intombazane, kungaba kuhle ngaye ukuthi abuze ngesimo sakhe sengqondo enkolweni, esandulele ingxoxo ngencazelo encane yokuthi kungani kubalulekile kubazali.
Yebo, uma ngokuvamile kukhona ithuba lokuhlala phansi bese uxoxisana nesimo kusengaphambili. Phela, ngokuvamile ukubhapathizwa kwezingane, uma abazali bezinkolo ezahlukene, kwenzeka ngokuzenzekelayo.
Phakathi komunye nomunye
Xoxa ngenkinga kanye nezinketho ezikhona zokuxazulula isisombululo sakho emndenini - okungukuthi, abazali ngokwabo. Futhi kakade ngesinqumo esilungile ndawonye, "umbumbano wangaphambili" ukuze usebenze emzabalazweni wenkolo ekhethiwe.
Lokhu okunikeza:
- Okokuqala, umndeni ubonisa ukuzimela kwawo ekuxazululeni izinkinga. Ngisho nezinto ezinzima ezifana nokubhapathizwa kwengane.
- Okwesibili, isisombululo esisodwa sivuselela ukubaluleka kwayo kwezizukulwane ezidala.
- Okwesithathu, kulula ukuba "uthathe" ukuphazanyiswa ezindabeni zangaphakathi zomndeni.
Umndeni onabantu abahlukahlukene uyafa. Ngokwandisa, igama elithi "umndeni" libhekisela kuphela kulabo abashade nezingane zabo. Ngakho-ke, inkinga yokuvuma nokubhapathizwa iphenduka kancane. Kodwa kufanele futhi isetshenziswe ngokuningi nangobumnene. Ngemuva kwalokho, manje umbuzo wenkolo, ubhapathizo nenkolo kuwukuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu ukugcina amasiko, amaholide omndeni kanye namasiko. Futhi ukuwuhlukumeza, njengokungathi ungento engelutho - kusho, ukulimaza indlela yomndeni, ukubhubhisa ngezandla zabo siqu okwakhiwa izizukulwane.