Ingabe lo mbuzo usisihlupha ngempela: lapho ngempela "ukwabela" ubulili bokuqala? Ukuze sikhulume ngokucacile, asikhathazeki ngalesi sikhathi sokuqala, kodwa ngokusabela komuntu ekuziphatheni kwethu kulesi simo. Emva kwakho konke, uma singencike kulo, isikhathi sokulala ngokobulili sokuqala singanqunywa ngathi lula kakhulu futhi ngokuningi.
Ngokuvamile, sibuza umbuzo othi "kungenzeka kakade kungenzeka noma cha?" ezimweni ezimbili: ngaphambi kocansi, uma lowo ozobhalwa naye enenani elikhulu noma esivele esilandelayo, uma ngabe ubulili buba khona ngokushesha ngeso lengqondo.
Lo mbuzo ufanelekile, kodwa impendulo ejwayelekile yombuzo othi "nini ukuqala nokuthi kungenzeka yini ukuthi ulale ucansi ngezinsuku zokuqala ngaphandle kokwehlisa isithombe emehlweni akhe" akunakwenzeka. (Lokhu kwafakazelwa yimiphumela yocwaningo lwabesilisa kule ndaba).
Lesi sihloko yisikhathi sokuzindla, ukuhlaziywa kwezenzo zethu nokuziphatha, kanye nelinye ithuba lokufunda ukuthi bacabangani nge-IT. Ngenkathi yokuxoxisana nokuhlaziywa kwezincwadi ngokuzilibazisa okusheshayo, kuvele izintambo eziningi ezicacile. Ngikhuthaza kakhulu, kumele ngitsho.
Umkhuba wokuqala
Umbono oyedwa wesilisa onesihloko othi "abesifazane-ngubani-benza-it" - cha. Uthembekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubo bonke abaphendulile, amaphesenti ayisishiyagalombili kuphela athi ngabesifazane abavuma ukuthi bahlanganyele nabo ngokobulili ngokushesha, kabi.
Umkhuba wesibili
Inhlangano iyashintsha, futhi nayo, indlela yokuhlola abesifazane ngamadoda nomphakathi wonke. Yiqiniso, udumo nonembeza kusesimweni esifanele, kodwa ukuziphatha okuhlanzekile akuvami ukujabula, kepha ukuphazamiseka nombuzo: umdlalo wakhe uphela kuphi futhi isithakazelo nemizwa kuqala ukuza kimi? Futhi ingabe akanakuthola yini enye into yokuyidonsela, ngaphandle kokufinyelela okungenakwenzeka?
Isiqubulo esithi "Uma lokhu kwenzeka masinyane, uzocabangela ukuthi ngingumfana wekhono elilula" liba yinganekwane. Ukuqonda emphakathini abesifazane abadinga ubulili nokwandisa ukuzimela kwabesifazane kuvumela amadoda ukuba ashiye ukulingana "okwenziwe okusheshayo - okuncishisiwe" ngaphandle kokwehlisa idumela labo besilisa. Okungenani mayelana nalokhu kukhuluma idatha yokucwaninga ngezenhlalo - 70% wabesilisa abacatshangelwayo ababheki "ubulili" ekuqokweni kokuqala.
Ezimweni eziningi, ngenxa yokuhlolwa okungalungile kowesifazane owavuma ukulala ngemva kwemihlangano embalwa emva kokuzijwayeza, kukhona ukungavikeleki okungathí sina kowesilisa. Futhi kuphela. Abantu abazethembayo nabazimele bahlola ubulili obusheshayo njengobufakazi bokubambisana, izinga lokuzethemba ngokwalo, kanye nezinga lokuzethemba lalo wesifazane uqobo.
Yiqiniso, kukhona okungafani, kodwa endaweni enjengokuya ocansini, ukubonakaliswa kwengozi nokuzimela kungokwemvelo, imithetho eqinile ayikwazi ukukhona lapha.
Umkhuba wesithathu
Nakuba lokhu kungekhona umkhuba, kodwa i-debunking yenye inganekwane. Le nkulumo ethi "umuntu - umzingeli, ngokushesha ukuthola lokho akufunayo, uzolahlekelwa isithakazelo futhi alahlekelwe esixukwini" ulahlekelwe ukubaluleka kwawo ... "Ubulili buyingxenye yokuxhumana, enye indlela yokwazi," kusho amadoda. (Ngicaphuna enye yezitatimende).
Futhi ukucaphuna okunye okunye: "Uma ubulili kwakuwukuphela kwenhloso yokuxhumana, ngakho-ke, emva kobusuku bokuqala, ilasha lingase lilahleke." Ngaphandle kwalokho, intombazane ngemuva kwalesi sigameko isondela kakhulu, ivula ubuso obusha. "Kunalokho, ubuhlobo bungathonywa indlela aziphatha ngayo emva kocansi, isibonelo, ukuphikisana okwakhiwa nguye ekamelweni lami, ukujwayela okubukhali kugweme ngempela. "
Ngakho kulabo abaye bajwayelana nawe ngenxa nje yokuthi umthanda, ukungena embhedeni wakho ngosuku lokuqala akusilo isizathu sokukushicilela futhi ukuzulazula ngokuqondile ikhodi yokuziphatha yomakhi wobukhomanisi.
Ngokuqondene nalabo madoda abazibekela umgomo ophezulu wokukhwabanisa amantombazane futhi bacabange ukuthi lokhu kuyibhizinisi eliyinhloko lokuphila ... Bazokwenza noma yikuphi, ngokushesha noma ngemva kwesikhathi bayanyamalala, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukulala ocansini ngokushesha noma eminyakeni emithathu emva kwemizamo yabo yokukufeza. Esikhundleni sekusasa kunokuba kamuva. Akunjalo ngenxa yokuthi babezithukuthele ngawe - bazithukuthele ngokwabo. Futhi ungaboni lokhu kuvumela kuphela i-kaleidoscope yezenzakalo nabalingani. Ngakho-ke ingabe kukhona iphuzu lokukhathazeka mayelana nokuzivocavoca, ubulili besikhathi esisodwa nomqoqo ofanayo? Lobu busuku (noma isigamu sehora e-club's out-out) kuyinto yakho entsha futhi, mhlawumbe, ubulili obuhle.
Kodwa-ke, i-spoonful of truth kulo mgodi wezinkolelo mayelana nalokho okungcono kunakuqala kusengaphambili. Ngizocaphuna omunye wabaphenduli: "Ubulili emva kwesikhathi esithile sokuxhumana nocansi nomuntu ongaziwa - izinto ezehlukene, imizwelo, isipiliyoni, njll Yebo, ubulili" nomngani "lunganikeza izinto ezihluke ngokuphelele." Singaqinisekisa lo mbono ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu, akunjalo?
Ubulili nalabo abanemizwa ethile kanye nezocansi kuphela - izinto ezehlukene! Ngaphezu kwalokho, kunesinye isici - kumuntu ojwayele ngokwengeziwe, uxolela kakhulu futhi uhlolisise ngobumnene (kufaka phakathi kobulili, nokuziphatha ngaphambi nangemva). Kodwa! Ukumisa ukuthuthukiswa kwezehlakalo ukuze aqonde ukuhlanzeka kwakho nobuqotho - akufani nokukhulisa isikhathi se-candy-buketny ngenxa yobulili obuhlukile, ubulili bezinga elihlukile lokusondelana. Kuwe. Kodwa ukhetho lwesibili lwamadoda (nabesifazane abahlakaniphile) lubonakala lithembekile kakhulu. Uhlanzekile. Kuhlehlelekile.
I-Trend Four
Ukuzimela nokuzethemba kungenza izimangaliso ngisho nasezinkingeni ezingenathemba. Vumelana, kwenzeka ukuthi ngezihloko ezingenhla ozicabangayo ngemuva kokuthi konke kwenzeke.
Emaminithi angu-15 emva kocansi ocansini ekhanda eqala imibuzo enesihluku: "Futhi uzokwenzenjani ngami?" Ngokungazelelwe nguye lowo okhuni ngokuqinile? Futhi uzokubiza? Futhi uzizwa kanjani? Ukuziphatha kanjani? " Njll. Mhlawumbe, izazi zengqondo zingasho ukuthi ukuziphatha okuhle kulesi simo kungokwemvelo nokuzola. Ngokusekelwe ekuhlonipheni, ukuhlonishwa, nokwamukela isimo njengoba kunjalo, ngaphandle kokulinganisa.
Cabanga: kwenzekani ngempela? Uveze uzwela nesithakazelo kumuntu ngandlela-thile. Kwenzeke nje. Kwakungokwakho nokhetho lwakhe. Ingabe kubi kakhulu futhi kuyesabeka?
Futhi khumbula iseluleko sezengqondo - ziphathe ngokuthula, kodwa ngokwemvelo. Uma ukhathazekile kakhulu ngombuzo wesimo sakhe sengqondo nokuhlolisisa okwenzekile - cacisa kanjalo, futhi ngokucophelela futhi ungabonakali. Isibonelo, ungabhala i-SMS efana nalokhu: "Sawubona, ngiyadideka kancane ngoba kwenzeke masinya kangaka, ngifinyelele kwi-intanethi ukufunda imibono nezihloko ngalesi sihloko." Impendulo ye-SMS, cishe, izosusa eziningi zokungabaza kwakho.
Kodwa imizamo yokukhwabanisa ukuveza ukungabonakali, ukukhuluma: "O, angikaze ngizivumele lokhu ngaphambili, o, lokho okucabangayo manje" akunakwenzeka ukusindisa isithombe sakho. Ngubani othanda ukuzizwa ephutha noma eqonda ukuthi abamethembi?
Ngakho-ke, kungcono kuwe ukuthi unqume ukuthi nini. Uma sicabanga ukuthi icala ngalinye lingumuntu ngamunye, futhi umuntu ngamunye uhlukile, kunengqondo ukucabanga ukuthi ayikho imithetho enzima. Kodwa kukhona intuition, ukuzihlonipha, ukwethembeka phambi kwakho futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, isinqumo sakho sokuzikhethela. Uma ebuhlotsheni ufuna okuthile okungaphezu kokusebenzisa izindlela ezifakiwe ngenxa yomgomo wokuziphendulela.