Bonke abesifazane bahlukaniswe ngezigaba ezimbili: ukuhola nabalandeli. Akekho kubo onokubi, omunye umuntu kudingeka abe ngaphansi, futhi omunye uzolalela.
Uma uthanda ngamandla futhi uzimele, awukwazi ukuqhubeka nomuntu ofanayo. Yiqiniso, ubuhlobo bakho buyoba buhlungu futhi bukhuni, kodwa bugcwele ukungqubuzana nokungaqondi kahle. Awunakukwazi ukuma isikhathi eside. Ngeshwa, abantu abanjalo abanamandla kakhulu babulala uthando lwabo ngezandla zabo siqu, ngoba abakwazi ukwenza izinto eziyekethisa futhi baxoxisane. Ngakho-ke, uma ungumholi futhi ufuna ukuba nobuhlobo, kufanele uthole intombazane enesizotha, enomusa ozovumelana nezinqumo zakho. Lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele abe yi-rag. Kulula nje ukuthi kukhona amadoda anokuthula okwanele nokuhlakanipha ukungaphikisani nabesifazane babo, futhi uma kunesidingo, ngokuthula nangokwazi ukwenza konke ngendlela yabo, ukuze angaqapheli. Ungakwazi njalo ukuthembela kubafana abanjalo.
Amantombazane aholelekile kufanele ahlangane nabantu abasha abanesifiso esinamandla. Indoda enjalo ngeke ivumele intombazane yakhe ukuba ishabalale e-whirlpool ebalulekile, isize futhi imqhube, futhi ikwazi ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga. Yiqiniso, umuntu akufanele nanini ahambe ngokweqile futhi aqale ubudlelwane nomuntu ongekho emthethweni ovame ukuhlela umbuso wobushiqela kuyo yonke indawo. Ngomuntu onjalo, le ntombazane iba yisigqila esivamile, lapho le ndoda iqhuma futhi ihleka.
Abanye besifazane bakholelwa ukuthi bafanelwe abantu abanobubele obufanayo. Akunjalo. Ngokuvamile, abantu abanjalo bahlala bephikisana futhi bephikisa, noma, ngokuphambene, abakhombisi nhlobo imizwelo. Noma kunjalo, ungakhohlwa ukuthi "akukhiphi" futhi "kunciphisa", hhayi "plus" futhi "plus" bakhangwa. Ukukhangisa kungenzeka kuphela phakathi kwezimpawu ezihlukahlukene. Amabili amaqhawe anamandla yiwo lapho umuntu oyedwa ezolile, elinganiselayo futhi ebandayo, futhi owesibili ujabule, uvutha futhi uzwela. Yiqiniso, abantu abanjalo ekuqaleni bakunzima ukuzijwayela, kodwa bahlala emphefumulweni iminyaka eminingi. Imfihlakalo yukuthi ukuthula kuzohlale kuvimbela ukuqhuma ngesikhathi, futhi ukujabula kuyohlale kuhlanganisa ukukhanya nombala ekuphileni okuhlangene. Kodwa, eqinisweni, ukuze ujabule, udinga ukuba nemibono evamile, izithakazelo, ukuqonda okuvamile kanye nomuzwa. Ngisho noma abantu babonakala bephikisana ngokuphelele, kodwa ngaphakathi bafana, bahambisana ngokuphelele nabangane nabangane. Imibhangqwana enjalo iyakwazi ukusekela futhi iqonde ngaphandle kwamagama, ngoba axhunyiwe ezingeni lezomzwelo nelingokomoya. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuzitholela hhayi kuphela umlingiswa ohlukile, kodwa futhi nomphefumulo wakho.
Futhi, kukhona abesifazane abazonda ukuhawukela amadoda, kodwa kukhona labo? oqala ukuzisola, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ukuthanda. Uma lo mbuzo uwukuthi: uhlobo luni lomfana olufanelana nami, buza lona wesifazane ovela esigabeni sokuqala, khona-ke udinga lowo muntu ongafuni ukukhuluma ngezinkinga futhi uyamzonda uma bekhathazeka ngaye. Yiqiniso, lokhu akusho ukuthi intombazane ngeke imkhathalele futhi isisize, kodwa ngeke imnakekele futhi ngesikhathi esinzima iyoqonda indlela yokuphatha ngayo, ukuze ungathukutheli futhi ungacasuli. Amadoda anjalo, ngokuvamile, awakhulumi ngokuthi konke kuzokwenzeka kanjani, ukufihla, ukukhohlisa nokuzama ukuphoqa usizo lwabo. Bathukuthele, bathukuthele futhi bafaka ngisho nokucindezeleka okujulile. Abesifazane abangathandi ukuzwa ubuhlungu emadodeni abathandeki ekuziphatheni okunjalo. Banesitolo esithile sabantu besilisa, ngakho-ke bavele babuze okwenzekile, balalele, banikeze izeluleko eziphathekayo, uma kungenzeka, futhi bangabe besabuyela esihlokweni. Ngenxa yokuqonda okunjalo, kulezi zibini kukhona ukuthula nomusa njalo.
Kodwa isigaba sesibili sabesifazane sinjalo. Lezi zimantombazane zizama njalo ukusiza nokuziphakamisa, ukuxazulula izinkinga, ukuzivikela. Badinga amadoda adinga ukunakekelwa okunjalo nokunakekelwa, ngisho noma bengayitholi. Ngokuvamile, laba besifazane bathandana namadoda abanobuhlungu obungokwengqondo nezinkinga ekusebenzelaneni nomphakathi. Ekuboneni lokhu lokhu kungase kungabi nakancane, kodwa intombazane enjalo ingakwazi ukufika njalo enhliziyweni yayo futhi iqonde ukuthi le ndoda ayifanele njengoba izama ukukhombisa. Ngendlela, kubalulekile ukuphawula ukuthi lolu hlobo lwabafana ludinga ngempela usizo, ukusekelwa kanye nobubele. Ngokuvamile, bazama ukubonakala becasuliwe futhi bengenakulinganiswa. Nakuba banobubele kakhulu futhi besengozini. Ezimweni eziningi, izimpande zezinkinga zabo zivela emindenini lapho abafana babengathandwa khona, baqondwa futhi bahlonishwa. Manje bazama ukuzitshela ukuthi abadingi uthando, nakuba yibo abangabasiza ukuba basuse izinkinga nezinkinga. Abesifazane abakwazi ukuzisola bangabanika yona. Bayakwazi ukuhamba kancane kodwa ngokuzethemba ngendleleni abaye bayiphakamisela kuyo, futhi bamba kancane kancane enhliziyweni yakhe. Ngokuvamile, kuthatha isikhathi eside kakhulu namantombazane anomlingiswa ohlukile nje ongenaso isineke. Kodwa laba besifazane bangaya emgomweni ngamagremu, ngo-millimeters, benganaki iqiniso lokuthi umfana uyayiphikisa ngokuqinile. Basiza abantu babo abathandekayo ukuba bakholelwe kubo futhi bathole indlela yokuphila. Abantu abanjalo, ngokuvamile, abakwazi ukucabanga ukuthi bayakwazi ukufeza okuthile. Intombazane engalokothi ihawukele amadoda ngeke isheshe imkhombise ukuthi ayisekele futhi afune indlela yokusiza. Umane nje akakwazi ukwenza lokhu ngenxa yobumnene. Kodwa abesifazane abanozwela bayohlale bezama ukuphoqa umfana wabo, bamqinisekise, bathole izimpikiswano futhi basize, nganoma iyiphi indlela.
Bonke abantu bahlukile, futhi kungenxa yokungafani kwabo ukuthi ngamunye wethu, ekugcineni, angathola umbhangqwana okahle kunazo zonke futhi axazulule ngokucophelela - uhlobo luni lomfana olufanelana nami.