Asikho isidingo sokuba nethemba lokuthi amadoda ahlukumezayo abambelele kubesifazane abashadile. Ngezinye izikhathi kwenzeka ukuthi ngokuphambene nalokho, yilokhu okuheha abantu. Bakholelwa ukuthi owesifazane onendandatho yomshado usevele ehlolwe omunye umuntu futhi ngenxa yalokho, ungathula "uvuse" okuthile naye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma umuntu ephikisana nomshado, kusho ukuthi owesifazane oshadile ngeke angenele inkululeko yakhe. Ngakho-ke, indandatho yegolide eminwebeni ayinakukusindisa ekuthandweni okuqeda amehlo komuntu ongathandeki.
Kulesi simo, kuwubuwula kakhulu ukwethemba ukuthi isoka lizoqonda amacebo futhi lizoholela ezimbonini zangaphandle, lizowela ngemuva. Lapha udinga ukwenza ngokucacile futhi ngokucacile futhi kuphela lapho ungakwazi kalula futhi ngokushesha ukuqeda indoda obesaba. Manje ungacabangela izinketho ezimbalwa, ukuthi ungasusa kanjani ngokushesha:
Khuluma ngomyeni wakho ngaphandle kokuyeka. Amadoda ngeke athande iqiniso lokuthi uzokhuluma ngenye into. Ngitshele, indlela enhle futhi ehlakaniphile, onamandla futhi ongenakuqhathaniswa. Ngikholelwa, lokhu kusebenza kahle kakhulu. Futhi ungaqala ukumbuza ngomndeni, uma nje eshadile. Lokhu futhi kwenza amadoda angabi nakakhulu kunobhakede lwamanzi abandayo ekhanda. Ukukhumbula umfazi nezingane, kuzokuvumela isoka ukuba lizizwele, njengomthetho. Khumbula izwi lokuthi indoda ayikwazi ukucabanga ngamakhanda amabili ngesikhathi esifanayo? Ngakho-ke, ukuze ususe inkampani ehlukumezayo, ungaxoxa naye ngezihloko ezinzima, ukuze ufilosofi. Uma kukhona isihloko esithandayo ngempela, khona-ke angakwazi ukuxhuma engxoxweni futhi ubuchopho bakhe buzobuyela endaweni yakhe. Khona-ke, okubaluleke kakhulu, qhubekani ingxoxo kuze kube yilapho indoda ihlupha ukukhuluma nawe, khona-ke ungakwazi futhi usho okuhle, ngoba kungenzeka ukuthi indoda ngokujwayelekile iyokhohlwa lokho ayifunayo kuwe. Futhi kunezindlela ezinjalo ngokushesha futhi ngaphandle izingxoxo ezingadingekile zokwesabisa indoda engadingeki:
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Ungaboni indoda. Ungabheka noma kuphi, kodwa hhayi kuye. Lapho ukhuluma, bheka eceleni, zama ukukhuluma ngaphandle kokumbuka. Kuyethusa. Futhi ngokushesha.
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Noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, mbheka ngaleyo ndlela, ngokoqobo "uyidla" ngamehlo akhe. Vele ungashisi isithakazelo, udinga ukubheka ngokumangala okungaqinisekisiwe. Indoda kumele ihlazeke futhi, mhlawumbe, isabe.
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Endaweni yokudlela noma cafe udinga okuningi ongadla. Amadoda avame ukwesaba, abesifazane abadla kakhulu. Okokuqala, badinga ukukhokhelwa, futhi okwesibili, owesifazane angaphinde abuyele, ukuthi namadoda angayithandi kakhulu ngandlela-thile.
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Udinga ukuzama ukusebenza, ngoba laba besifazane besaba abantu. Noma kunjalo, bahlonishwa ngobuqotho. Kodwa, uma le ndoda ngokwayo ihamba kancane, ngeke ixhumane nowesifazane onamandla okuziphatha ngaphezu kwakhe. Lokhu kuyiqiniso.
Kodwa, kunamadoda lapho zonke lezi zindlela ezingasebenzi, ngokuvamile lawo madoda angakwazi ukuthola ukuzimela komunye nomunye kuwo wonke owesifazane. Yini engingayenza? Cabanga, ingabe ufuna ngempela ukulahla indoda ehlukumezayo? Uma ungenayo indoda, futhi lowo oza kuwe akashadile? Vumela ngenkathi ungamthandi, kodwa mhlawumbe, emva kokuqaphela indoda, imizwa ephindaphindiwe izosondela eduze? Mhlawumbe lo unamathela futhi uyisiphetho sakho? Hlola ngokucophelela.
Uma, ekhaya, umyeni wakho nezingane zikulindele, uma ungashintshi umyeni wakho othandekayo, sebenzisa ngokuphepha lokho okuchazwe ngenhla futhi uqiniseke ukuthi lezi zindlela zisebenza ngokuqinisekile.