Ukuhlukumezeka kwabantu: indlela yokuphila nalokhu?

Ukuhlukumezeka kwabantu - lokhu kuyisimo esiyinkimbinkimbi. I-psychology yokukhwabanisa ididekile kangangokuthi umuntu akakwazi ukuyihlola kusuka endaweni eyodwa yokubuka.

Uma ubheka ohlangothini olulodwa, khona-ke ukukhwabanisa kusakazeke kakhulu kangangokuthi cishe sonke sasihlangana nalesi senzakalo, okungenani kanye ekuphileni, futhi cishe - ngokuphindaphindiwe, ngakho-ke ukuhlubuka akubhekwa njengento engavamile. Ngakolunye uhlangothi - njalo lapho kukhona ubuhlungu obungqondweni obukhulu, awukwazi ukucabanga ukuthi ungahlala kanjani futhi udale umbono wokuthi izwe elikuzungezile liwela ezincekeni ezincane futhi ayikho indlela yokulungisa noma yini.
Kulo mhlaba, silungele noma yiziphi izenzo ezingacatshangelwe. Uzothola impindiselo, zama ukuthola ubuhlobo noma uhlele ukuxoshwa. Empeleni, lokhu kungokwemvelo, ngoba umuntu ngamunye ufuna ukususa ngokushesha ubuhlungu obungokwengqondo futhi anqume ukuthi angaphila kanjani.

Ngokuvamile isinqumo senza ukuba kube nokuhlukana ebuhlotsheni, nakuba izazi ze-psychologists zisasikhuthaza ukuthi ziphuthumise iziphetho. Isikhathi esithile kumele sidlule ngaphambi kokuthi isimo sombuso sithinteke ekucindezelekeni, futhi ungabheka ngokwanele isimo samanje wenze isinqumo esifanele.

Kusukela ekuboneni kwengqondo, kunezizathu eziningana ezenzeka ukuthi kungani amadoda enquma ukushintsha. Okuvamile kunazo zonke:

1. Ukubonakala komkhuhlane ebuhlotsheni, lapho uthando seluvele luphele, kodwa umkhuba usukile. Kulolu cala, kubalulekile ukuthi uthola ngokuthula ubuhlobo bakho nomlingani, ubeke yonke "i" bese uzama ukuvimba lokhu kuxhumana.
2. Ukuvela kwezinkinga ebuhlotsheni bakho. Kulokhu, ukuhlukumezeka kubonisa ukuthi umlingani wakho wesaba, njengokungathi isinqumo esihlangene asizange siphumelele futhi yilokho afuna ukufihla khona emithwalweni.
3. Cinga ukuqonda okufanayo. Mhlawumbe wayeka ukunakekela oshade naye futhi wazizwa isidingo sokuzifakazela.
4. Ukuvela kwezinkinga ezithile zangaphakathi kumuntu, ukuphikisana, okungeke akwazi ukukuqonda.

Izinkinga zangaphakathi zingahluka kakhulu. Isibonelo, uma umuntu engakakulungeli ubuhlobo obungathí sina, noma uma nje engaqiniseki kuye, ngamandla akhe. Kukhona izizathu eziningi zokuhlukunyezwa, kodwa kunoma yikuphi, asikho isidingo sokuphumula ngokushesha ubuhlobo. Nakuba, ngokusemthethweni, kungcono ukugxila emizweni yakho kanye nemizwa yakho.

Kumelwe sicabange ngokujulile ngombuzo: kodwa ungahlala nalokhu? Ungakwazi yini, ngokuzikhandla komyeni wakho, futhi ufunde ukumethemba futhi ungalahli ulaka lwakhe kuye.

Ukuhlambalaza, ngaphezu kwakho konke, isibonakaliso sokuthi sekuyisikhathi sokubheka ubuhlobo bakho ubuhlobo obusha, zama ukulungisa amaphutha akho futhi wenze izinguquko ezinhle emkhayeni wakho womndeni ukuze umlingani oshintshiwe amthole lokho ayekufunayo ebuhlotsheni nabanye besifazane.

I-Psychoanalysts inikeza abesifazane abaye babhekana nokukhashelwa kwabayeni babo futhi abazi ukuthi bangahlala kanjani nabo, bacabange kuqala kulokho okukhona kumuntu umyeni wakho ekukhohlisile. Cabanga, mhlawumbe uzokwazi ukushintsha wena kancane?

Uma kwenzeka ukwazi ukuxoxa ngesimo samanje futhi uqonde ukuthi yini eyenza umyeni wakho ashintshe, kubalulekile ukushintsha isimo okwesikhashana. Imibhangqwana eminingi eyenza ngale ndlela ithi ngokuqiniseka ukuthi ubuhlobo babo busondele kakhulu kunangaphambili, futhi akekho noyedwa wabo owake wakhumbula engqondweni ukushintsha futhi.

Kufanele kuqaphele ukuthi uma unqume ukugcina umshado emva kokukhwabanisa, khona-ke ukulondoloza ubuhlobo kuzodingeka ushintshe kokubili!

UJulia Sobolevskaya , ngokukhethekile isayithi